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(Inside Bay Area)   Man intentionally jumps in front of moving fire truck   (insidebayarea.com) divider line 55
    More: Dumbass  
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10647 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2005 at 10:12 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-03-15 09:22:06 AM  
Now, why would he do that?
 
2005-03-15 09:33:56 AM  
To maximize your chances of success when committing suicide by jumping into traffic, try to choose a vehicle that is not full of paramedics.
 
2005-03-15 10:38:31 AM  
I REGRET NOTHING!
 
2005-03-15 10:38:39 AM  
BigTuna wins
 
2005-03-15 10:38:41 AM  
It's Groundhog Day!
 
2005-03-15 10:40:23 AM  
worst...suicide...evar
 
2005-03-15 10:41:47 AM  
Was it Daniel Zavitz?
 
2005-03-15 10:42:00 AM  
Had it been a stationary fire truck headline would've had less...impact.
 
2005-03-15 10:42:10 AM  
Only suffered bruises?!

Dude, can you pick some lotto numbers for me?
 
2005-03-15 10:42:45 AM  
whoops
 
2005-03-15 10:42:48 AM  
He's probably going to sue.
 
2005-03-15 10:42:49 AM  
Yeah, jumping in front of a stationary fire truck probably would have been pretty anti-climactic.
 
2005-03-15 10:43:31 AM  
Fire truck Song

Hurry, hurry drive that fire truck,
Hurry, hurry drive that fire truck,
Hurry, hurry drive that fire truck,
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding

(other verses -- hurry, hurry, turn the corner, climb the ladder, squirt the hoses, and then end with slowly, slowly back to the fire house)
 
2005-03-15 10:44:56 AM  
 
2005-03-15 10:45:57 AM  
Kramer knew a shortcut!

 
2005-03-15 10:46:17 AM  
I wonder if this will start a trend among other idiots, sort of like "train surfing".

/meh
 
2005-03-15 10:46:33 AM  
in 1997, after a poor year with the Chicago Blackhawks, Eddie 'the eagle' Belfour tried to commit suicide by jumping in front of a city bus...

it went through his legs.
 
dly
2005-03-15 10:48:13 AM  
My work is done, why wait?
 
2005-03-15 10:48:36 AM  
Can we get a 'sad' tag on suicide attempts rather than a 'dumbass' tag?

/Or is that above the ever falling bar of fark forum empathy for our fellow human beings?
//Wish it was just fark forums.
 
2005-03-15 10:48:43 AM  
In California? Well no wonder he did that-- he'll sue and win.
 
2005-03-15 10:48:43 AM  
That's almost as funny as jumping in front of an ambulance.

Driver to EMT: Get the shovel out.
 
2005-03-15 10:51:24 AM  
He's probably going to sue.

It happened in "The Incredibles"...
 
2005-03-15 10:54:14 AM  
Clearly, this man had watched Enemy of the State and felt a need to mimic what he had seen on the screen. We need to rid the world of the Hollywood scourge which is enticing our population into dangerous activities at an alarmingly high rate.

Or something.
 
2005-03-15 10:54:57 AM  
There are times to chlorinate the gene pool. He was just trying to help. Since he was so inept that he couldn't remove himself, let's grab the skimmer!
 
2005-03-15 11:08:31 AM  
in 1997, after a poor year with the Chicago Blackhawks, Eddie 'the eagle' Belfour tried to commit suicide by jumping in front of a city bus...

it went through his legs.


Wasn't that a Buckner joke first?
 
2005-03-15 11:09:46 AM  
I wonder if this will start a trend among other idiots, sort of like "train surfing".

I think we should actively encourage our young people to leap into traffic. That way the stupid people will be less likely to reproduce.
 
2005-03-15 11:12:09 AM  
good thing he wasn't blind. if the dog was hurt he'd be looking at REAL jail time.
 
2005-03-15 11:17:14 AM  
I've heard of suicide by cop, but suicide by fireman?

/going to RTFA in 3...2...1...
 
2005-03-15 11:19:32 AM  
And by the end of the month, he'll have successfully sued for damages, anguish, and the fact that being struck by a fire truck didn't kill him.
 
2005-03-15 11:29:23 AM  
Here locally, some old man did this same thing.....twice!(although it wasn't a fire truck) He was in the beginning stages of Alzheimers and decided he didn't want to be a burden to his family. Tried it once and only injured himself...waited a few months and did it again, successfully that time. The really shiatty part is he did it while walking with his grade school age grand daughter.....asshole! The family never thought he would try something with somebody around.
 
2005-03-15 11:36:10 AM  
Sandi

There are times to chlorinate the gene pool. He was just trying to help. Since he was so inept that he couldn't remove himself, let's grab the skimmer!

You = Dick
 
2005-03-15 11:40:13 AM  
I'll drive
/terminator 3
 
2005-03-15 11:46:16 AM  
From the same page:

Cadillac Buick Pontiac GMC of Menlo Park, at 1300 El Camino Real, will drive out of town on April 30, putting 69 employees out of work.

WooHoo! Score one for the good guys! Now only 3,000 or so more corrupt centers of greed and asshattery to go!

/Though I do feel bad for the service guys who make $15 an hour with minimal benefits while their employer charges $85/hour labor, plus "shop fees," plus "disposal fees." Thank God for mom and pop auto repair places!
 
2005-03-15 11:47:50 AM  
It doesn't appear to be an attempted suicide, at least not a very good one. He just got bruised up some. I think dumb ass fits this one nicely.
 
2005-03-15 11:48:59 AM  
darwinarity ensues?

/got nothin'
 
2005-03-15 11:50:53 AM  
Sandi

There are times to chlorinate the gene pool. He was just trying to help. Since he was so inept that he couldn't remove himself, let's grab the skimmer!

You = Prophet
 
2005-03-15 11:53:31 AM  
Sandi
There are times to chlorinate the gene pool. He was just trying to help. Since he was so inept that he couldn't remove himself, let's grab the skimmer!

Ebenator
You = Prophet

Of what, eugenics?
 
usr
2005-03-15 11:58:46 AM  
Why dumbass? Walking into the path of a moving firetruck seems to be likely to produce results. This guy is clearly a go-getter.
 
2005-03-15 12:03:25 PM  
If the guy was really trying to off himself, he should really try again. Given that he's failed at about everything else, he really owes it to himself to keep at it.

To paraphrase PJ O'Rourke "If you are going to kill yourself use a gun. If you use pills, you might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time."
 
2005-03-15 12:15:48 PM  
Every time a thread like this comes along. there is always someone who honestly believes that we are all heartless sado-masochistic monsters who wish nothing more than the extermination of mankind.*

BlindMan, I guess it's your turn.

This is Fark, a place where we an make light of a tragedy for the sake of a healthy (yet sick) sense of humor. Today is your 3rd anniversary here; figure it out already!! And take your empathetic guilt trip out of here, it any gonna work.

*Ok, maybe some of us are regardless.
 
2005-03-15 12:19:53 PM  
Wow. The world is out to get me. This proves it. Part of an EXTREMELY terrifying nightmare I had last night included multiple fire trucks trying ot run me down. And now this. I am staying in my room today!
 
2005-03-15 12:21:07 PM  
Qermaq - yep, nice catch....
in fact i only know two jokes, but i can keep reusing them over and over again on fark simply by making small changes...
apparently, everyone else around here does this too...
 
2005-03-15 12:29:46 PM  
ABQGOD

Every time a thread like this comes along. there is always someone who honestly believes that we are all heartless sado-masochistic monsters who wish nothing more than the extermination of mankind. Ok, maybe some of us are regardless.

Yeah, some of you are.

This is Fark, a place where we an make light of a tragedy for the sake of a healthy (yet sick) sense of humor. Today is your 3rd anniversary here; figure it out already!!

And take your empathetic guilt trip out of here, it ain't gonna work.


Of course it ain't gonna work. Asking the average american to be interested in anything more than panem et circenses or think on any level not indicative of a regular Fear Factor viewer is generally a lost cause.

I've been around here long enough to realize there are people with a good sense of black humor, and there are dickheads with a brutal mentality and a dearth of human sympathy pretending to be funny. There's usually an obvious demarcation between the two.

/There is such a thing as tragicomedy, but there's also such a thing as just stupidly laughing at other people's suffering.
 
2005-03-15 12:40:44 PM  
There is such a thing as tragicomedy

what was that classic line from Mel Brooks?
something like - if i cut my finger pealing an apple, it's tragedy.
if i fall in a hole and die, its comedy....

i always loved that... cheers
 
2005-03-15 12:44:46 PM  
Jesus, at least don't try and kill yourself in a way that involves an innocent driver. Running somebody over would really fark up my day.
 
2005-03-15 12:51:10 PM  
mimo, no kidding. These are guys who save people's lives for a living. How horrific would it be to make them kill you to serve your own purposes?
 
2005-03-15 12:53:28 PM  
Man intentionally jumps in front of moving fire truck

It may have been that he thought the firetruck was a large mouse he had belled. Was his name Sylvester, by any chance?
 
2005-03-15 12:55:48 PM  
something like - if i cut my finger pealing an apple, it's tragedy.
if i fall in a hole and die, its comedy....


No, it's:

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. " -Mel Brooks

(10 seconds on google :)
 
2005-03-15 01:01:00 PM  
Jesus, at least don't try and kill yourself in a way that involves an innocent driver. Running somebody over would really fark up my day.

...

These are guys who save people's lives for a living. How horrific would it be to make them kill you to serve your own purposes?


You and I can certainly agree on these points, but the dead guy don't care much. An inconsiderate boob like that, we don't need 'em around anyway. :)

/Just rationalize away their suicide as their problem, and don't feel guilty about things outside your control :)
 
2005-03-15 01:34:46 PM  
Blindman

Wow. I'll bet you are a really fun person to go get wings and beer with.

Would you get the fark over yourself already?

/the name Blindman is insensitive to blind people, unless you are using a braile computer.
//i don't truly care about that.
///you're an asshat.
 
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