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(AZCentral)   Would-be-burglar loses pants in vent. (with photo of pants)   (azcentral.com ) divider line 37
    More: Amusing  
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7005 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2002 at 8:48 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-03-21 08:52:13 AM  
I lost a pair of pants on a road trip to Florida once.
 
2002-03-21 08:52:38 AM  
He went past finger lickin' good.
 
2002-03-21 08:52:51 AM  
Wonder if he shiat his pants when he realized he was stuck . . .
 
2002-03-21 08:53:44 AM  
Ahh...I remember the last time I lost my pants...memories are great.
 
2002-03-21 08:54:53 AM  
"Excuse me, sir, would you mind bending over so we can compare your ringpiece with these skidmarks?"
 
2002-03-21 08:56:38 AM  
Those wacky kids...if they would only wear their pants around their waists and use a BELT, this would never happen.

Kid probably had a 28-inch waist wearing size 40 pants, (sigh).
 
2002-03-21 08:59:47 AM  
Breaking into a bar-be-cue restaurant. Hmmmmmm..not to stereotype or anything but something tells me this perpetrator's name wasn't Jeff or Chad.
 
2002-03-21 09:02:15 AM  
Bigpeeler: Don't overgeneralize. His name could always be "Billy Bob".
 
2002-03-21 09:04:26 AM  
I'll take that bet.
 
2002-03-21 09:06:44 AM  
"The owner says the man must have been after the barbecue, because no money is kept in the restaurant.

If he had been white, he'd have taken the money for his meth lab.

But since the perp was after some bar-be-cued yardbird, well......
 
2002-03-21 09:12:58 AM  
Ahhh, but you're assuming that the guy was intelligent enough to KNOW that there wasn't any money kept at the restaurant. Lack of intelligence supports me.
 
2002-03-21 09:15:26 AM  
Maybe he wanted to steal some sophisticated barbecueing equipment and fence it on the open market. "Psst...hey, buddy, you want a 12-ham motorized spit? Real cheap!"
 
2002-03-21 09:18:16 AM  
Heard about this one on the way to work this morning ... Van Sykes, the owner of the barbecue joint, called in to the Rick and Bubba show and was telling them that Alonzo Scott, the cook, came in around 5 AM to fire up the grill and kept hearing voices. He looked up under the grill hood and saw a pair of Reeboks hanging down. How farked up is that? The guy's lucky he made it down that far and got spotted ... otherwise he coulda been cooked.

And why is it that so many weird stories have been coming out of Alabama lately? First we had mongrel emus on the loose ... now this. ::sigh::
 
2002-03-21 09:23:44 AM  
And, btw, he was a pretty big ol' boy, according to Sykes. What kind of idiot tries to cram his 40-inch waist into an 18-inch grill flue? They said he took a garden hose that was on the roof and tied one end to the air conditioner and let himself down the flue with it ... he was stuck in there for four hours with his arms stuck straight up.

Farking stooge. Why not just break a window out?
 
2002-03-21 09:28:03 AM  
They always said, 'Crime was in his jeans'.
 
Bf+
2002-03-21 09:34:19 AM  
You threw them out the window last night in a fit of passion, you said you didn't need them.
 
2002-03-21 09:42:33 AM  
They showed the guy on the evening news last night. Looked like he was wearing purple underwear. Man, was he sooty and greasy! Gross!
 
2002-03-21 09:43:35 AM  
Here's the link to the much funnier and original Birmingham News story... sad to say it was on yesterday's front page.

http://www.al.com/news/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/xml/story.ssf/html_standard.x sl?/base/news/10166194548758108.xml
 
2002-03-21 09:45:52 AM  
Oh, and the guy who got caught was named , no joke, "Sampson" ! Who says he was made fun of in school?!
 
2002-03-21 09:52:09 AM  
[image from img.fark.com too old to be available]
Nobody uses the word "trousers" anymore.
 
2002-03-21 10:06:53 AM  
I'm thinking: "What if he had accomplices?" If anyone comes across any repainted barbecue being sold from the back of a van, buy it and send it to me in Kyoto. The doctor says I'm not getting enough Liquid Smoke. :-P I'll send you my pants.

The best I could do was Tony Romas. Yes, we actually had one in Kyoto, which cost about $80 for dinner for two, until they woke up from that glue-sniffer's dream and closed it down.
 
2002-03-21 10:12:34 AM  
Uber,

The do in England, Australia, NZ

"Pants" means underpants there. A "vest" is an undershirt, and a rubber...
 
2002-03-21 10:13:42 AM  
He probably first lost his pants because of the Bush administration joblessness numbers. Then he had to turn to this to make a living and lost his pants again -- he is a victim only because of Bush.
 
2002-03-21 10:14:57 AM  
is this an old story? or are there just a whole lot of stupid criminals that can't learn from.. oh, wait. there are.
 
2002-03-21 10:17:01 AM  
I actually saw it on the news. It was a white guy...and they had pictures of him coming out in his underwear all covered in grease and oil...
And it was on during the 5PM news...just in time for dinner!
 
2002-03-21 10:33:44 AM  
"with photo of pants"

Yeah, that clinched it for me.

*click* *click* *click*
 
2002-03-21 10:36:10 AM  
Why are they "pants"? And why are they a "pair of pants". Is a "pant" just one leg? Why isn't it "pant"? Do I use "quotation marks" "too much"?
 
2002-03-21 10:57:49 AM  
and when was the last time you saw just one scissor?
 
2002-03-21 11:06:09 AM  
is it me or does that guy on the left look like Morgan Freeman
 
2002-03-21 11:34:45 AM  
Back in the early 80's they tore down an old barbeque restaurant in El Paso that I used to eat at. They found the cooked remains of a burglar in one of the vent pipes above the smoker. They estimated he had been there over 2 years by then. Oooooh yuck..
 
2002-03-21 11:36:51 AM  
those guys seem way to excited to have found pants.
 
2002-03-21 11:56:04 AM  
I think Jared is in BIG trouble.

[image from foolbrain.com too old to be available]
 
2002-03-21 12:33:39 PM  
Police was able to get him out of the vent using a healthy dose of Sweet red onions and A-1 sauce .
 
2002-03-21 12:39:13 PM  
That happened here, a few years ago. A guy tried to break into a house, by going down the chimney. Einstein got himself stuck, and when finally found, the fire department hauled him out. The local news film crew was there, and filmed the firemen pulling the guy out of the top of the chimney. As they pulled him out, his pants caught and were pulled off, and the news crew filmed the "full moon". It was pretty funny.

I like Silicon Sam's ending better.
 
2002-03-21 12:42:33 PM  
Robble Robble Robble
 
2002-03-21 01:04:32 PM  
Well don't feel bad fellas,I live like 40 miles from this.
 
2002-03-21 03:31:58 PM  
[image from arizonarepublic.com too old to be available]

Original ;)
 
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