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(AZCentral)   Court considers whether inmate can FedEx sperm to wife   (azcentral.com) divider line 69
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2355 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2002 at 9:56 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-03-21 09:59:39 AM  
Why? They'll just lose it or it will get delivered too late... j/k guys
 
2002-03-21 10:00:17 AM  
what's that stain on your pants?
 
fb-
2002-03-21 10:02:04 AM  
Fed Ex. When you absolutely, positively have to knock your wife up from prison.
 
2002-03-21 10:02:26 AM  
FedEx, when it absolutely positively has to be fertilized over night.
 
2002-03-21 10:02:51 AM  
Not only that, look at the guy. Do we really want this guy breeding? Stop the shallow end of the gene-pool from procreating! F.arkers A.gainst R.eproducing K.riminals Join us now!
 
2002-03-21 10:03:02 AM  
I do like the way you think fb-
 
2002-03-21 10:03:08 AM  
Picturing this guy kneading out a deposit into an 8 oz. priority envelope makes me want to vote 'no.'

 
2002-03-21 10:03:47 AM  
On my buck too...Par for the course.
 
2002-03-21 10:05:20 AM  
I hear that Monica Lewinsky thought of the Mail Order Sperm idea first, seeing she has had her fair share in the past...she thought it was only logical to make some $ off it
 
2002-03-21 10:05:25 AM  
"Do prison inmates have the right to procreate by way of FedEx delivery?"

Prison inmates have the right to sit there and rot. Period.
 
2002-03-21 10:05:39 AM  
In other news, Ron Jeremy will begin faxing cumshots.

Yech. I sicken myself sometimes.
 
2002-03-21 10:06:06 AM  
I agree with this, but if the state has to pay any money towards it (including the fees for the court) then it should own the children.
 
2002-03-21 10:06:13 AM  
When she absolutly, positively has to get laid over night.
 
2002-03-21 10:06:16 AM  
Me thinks Mr. Hanks survived for a while in Castaway with some of those very envelopes.

Wilson, want some man relish on your sea bass?
 
2002-03-21 10:06:48 AM  
If denied, would that make him eligible for a Darwin award?
 
2002-03-21 10:07:39 AM  
Hmm. I seem too have been beaten too the punch twice. Oh well I guess sick minds think alike. Hehe.
 
2002-03-21 10:07:48 AM  
Can't say it any better than these guys.

Meshman
"Do prison inmates have the right to procreate by way of FedEx delivery?"

Prison inmates have the right to sit there and rot. Period.

RelaximusPrime
Not only that, look at the guy. Do we really want this guy breeding? Stop the shallow end of the gene-pool from procreating! F.arkers A.gainst R.eproducing K.riminals Join us now!
 
2002-03-21 10:08:25 AM  

I'd have to say NO! just like the saying stupid people shouldn't breed.....neither should felons !

besides.... whats he gonna do, go in the bathroom and shiat out the sperm.... lol... he can send that, they'll never know who the father is....

unless Fb's sharing a cell

 
2002-03-21 10:08:35 AM  
Yeah. Like we want the KIDS of this tube steak running around just to get locked up and live on the public dime like their old man.

Yeah. Right.
 
2002-03-21 10:08:57 AM  
How ironic would it be if she banged the FedEx guy when he showed up at her door with her husband's sperm? That's right, pretty ironic.
 
2002-03-21 10:09:14 AM  
now if i was badcormee and i worked for Fed-Ex I could have a lot of fun switching stuff and things
 
2002-03-21 10:09:27 AM  
Fb- is the father?
 
2002-03-21 10:10:56 AM  
Does Fb- work for Fed-Ex?
 
2002-03-21 10:11:33 AM  
those that should be procreating aren't and those that shouldn't are by the busload, another day and the gene pool gets shallower and shallower...
 
2002-03-21 10:13:25 AM  
mr sparkel beat me to it. I was thinking, what the heck is Tom Hanks going to do for five years with a jar of sperm instead of wilson?

I thought the point of prison time was not limit your rights. The get feed, housed, clothed, FREE medical/dental, etc. etc.-That it, no rights. And my first reaction was, what the hiell is wrong with this woman. Why would you want to mother a child with genes that have a tendancy for antisocial/criminal behaviour? He's a farking loser but she want to have his baby (she's getting ready for the Jerry Springer tour)
 
2002-03-21 10:13:50 AM  
I'm thinking he probably gets plenty of "conjugal visits" from his fellow inmates.
 
2002-03-21 10:16:17 AM  
oops that should read
point of prison time was TO limit your rights
 
2002-03-21 10:21:56 AM  
Does he want to Fed Ex HIS sperm, or sperm he's..."collected?"
 
2002-03-21 10:24:44 AM  
I say that he should be able to FedEx his sperm. This might have something to do with the fact that I work for FedEx. Ohh Well.
 
2002-03-21 10:25:02 AM  
[Ding Dong]
Randy-gram!
 
2002-03-21 10:25:43 AM  
Maybe she just wants an excuse as to why she is knocked up.
"I was artificially inseminated, Honey, I haven't been sleeping around...honest!"
 
2002-03-21 10:26:24 AM  
 
2002-03-21 10:27:04 AM  
BoCoMoFo
Who is with me when I say this dude probably shouldn't have any kids at all? Prisoners don't deserve this freedom or any others, either.

I agree, prisoners should be tortured either by:
1)having icepicks jammed into their genitals
2)having experimental brain surgery carried out on them
3)being gassed and then burned
4)having to listen to Celine Dion on loop
5)being boiled alive in hot scorpions

And that's just for the shoplifters and dope smokers. I'll think up something much worse for more serious offences.

Do you agree with this? Or is it a bit too generous.
 
2002-03-21 10:30:13 AM  
BigAl
List looks good for a start.
 
2002-03-21 10:30:56 AM  
Writing in dissent, Barry Silverman, a Phoenix judge on the 9th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals, described the decision as "ill-conceived."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! Good one, judge!
 
fb-
2002-03-21 10:31:14 AM  
I found a solution to all the pissed off hippies and the over croweded prison population.

Burn prisoners alive as a source of alternative energy!

Huzzah!
 
2002-03-21 10:35:33 AM  
I think I'm going to start a musical delivery service specializing in this: Singing Fella-Grams.
 
2002-03-21 10:36:14 AM  
 
2002-03-21 10:37:31 AM  
Fb-
I like it, but couldn't we use them for some sort of millitary experiments first? I'm sure someone needs to know what the most painful shrapnel is or something similar... We could burn them for energy afterwards.
 
2002-03-21 10:38:26 AM  
Tom hanks could have used it on his island.
 
fb-
2002-03-21 10:38:49 AM  
BigAl,

Fair enough, I'm willing to compromise.
 
2002-03-21 10:39:26 AM  
Creating a child to be raised in a broken home, with no father... That just seems like a bad mistake, not somethign we should be going out of the way to do.
 
2002-03-21 10:42:03 AM  
BigAl - keep in mind prisons include those charged with possession of an ounce of marijuana.
 
fb-
2002-03-21 10:42:36 AM  
Reaten,

Quit smoking reefer and you won't go to jail.
 
2002-03-21 10:44:25 AM  
Gerber is in prison for terrorist threats, discharging a firearm and on narcotics charges.

He gets 111 years for these charges, but child molestors get out in, oh, about 5 years? (sorry, I digress)

Yah, this idea will do great things for the gene pool. Isn't prison about being separated from society in the first place? What right do they have to be raising dadless kids with obviously flawed women on the outside? This is reeeeediculous!!!!!!!
 
2002-03-21 10:45:33 AM  
If he was an Afghanny, it wouldn't be an issue.
He wouldn't have any hands!!!
 
fb-
2002-03-21 10:46:18 AM  
Urbn,

I thought child molestors were sent to a different place other than jail. What's the name? Uhhhh... oh yeah! The Catholic church!
 
2002-03-21 10:47:20 AM  
Ick. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be the FedEx guy handling this, um, package. "I'm sorry ma'am, but your future children are leaking out of the bottom of the express envelope."

Will he demand next that FedEx help, um...... extract the product too?

Agnosto - Woah. That's taking company loyalty to the extreme!
 
2002-03-21 10:47:30 AM  
...prisons include those charged with possession of an ounce of marijuana.

Oh, you mean people who knowingly break the law? Gee! What a novel use of a prison.

Look, I agree that the penalties for pot possession are a joke, even though I don't smoke anymore. But shiat, you have to be high to walk around with weed when you know it's against the law, right? I mean, whether it's a just law or not, be prepared to go to prison if you're caught. I shed no tears for people who're incarcerated for holding drugs; way I see it, they were thrown in the slam for being stupid, more than anything else.
 
2002-03-21 10:48:34 AM  
FB-

Oh yeah...sorry, my bad ;D
 
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