BE AFRAID!

Who's got the chicken launcher?

Dr. Brown is ballsy, calling the flu wimpy... it might open up a can of... whatever kinda can a pissed off flu can open... on him. Be wary, Dr. Brown. You have OBVIOUSLY not seen the show * on TV where the flu almost kills everyone in the world except for the math/science/fbi good-looking guy figures it out in the nick of time and saves the world!

Pretty soon terrorists are going to be targeting shipments of low-carb foods. What's next America? Run and farking hide!

i'll hold off on pissing myself until it becomes the SHARK-ATTACK flu.

It was prepared by the J2 Directorate of Strategic Intelligence, a secretive branch of National Defence charged with producing intelligence for the government.

Well, it was fun while it lasted, guys.

I was just reading a novel about this...terrorists infected themselves with a dying patient in Asia then spread the flu around the world using "suicide bombers"...was written by an ER doctor in Toronto, IIRC...

gotta love the ads on the canadian web site

BOO!

I have completely stopped caring about terrorism. I have completely stopped caring about bird-flu.

The media cries "WOLF!!!!!!" pretty much everyday in their search for sensationalised garbage for ratings.

I just dont care any more.

IMHO, all that should be happening is that terrorists get hunted down like common criminals, and dont get a special label, ie call them "Criminals" not "Terrorists". If innocent civilians are killed, the perpetrators should not be rewarded by noting whatever political reasons they had. Killing civilians = criminal act, no legitimate reason available. Oh, and doctors should not give out anti-biotics for the common cold, as they are putting us all in danger as a result. If you have a cold: Bedrest, lots of fluids. That is all.

And if I get injured in a "terror" attack, or get bird-flu, I will blame the media for crying wolf so much. That and get some mob-justice applied to their asses. Maybe we can beat integrity into them.

The terrists win.

the bird poo floo doesn't scare me.


(new weapon idea: used tampon drop on al-qaeda harboring countries!)

said a flea to a fly with the flu
said the flea, "oh what shall we do?"
said the fly, "let us flee!"
said the flea, "let us fly!"
so they flew through a flaw in the flu(e)?

Lucky_Day: if avian flu ever figures out how to spread from human to human reliably

When that happens, I'll be more worried that a virus became self-aware. :)

Dorf11: When that happens, I'll be more worried that a virus became self-aware. :)

And I for one welcome our new sentient viral overlords.

/had to say it

laugh all you guys want, I heard a speech by one of CDC's top virus hunters, and they say if avian flu ever figures out how to spread from human to human reliably there could be hell to pay.


Lucky_Day: if avian flu ever figures out how to spread from human to human reliably

When that happens, I'll be more worried that a virus became self-aware. :)

Beat me to it Dorf11. I was going to make the comment of "bird flu has its best scientists on the problem now." C'est la vie.

More people die in motor vehicle accidents everyday than have died from the avian flu in the past 14 months...

I more afraid of car exhaust fumes than viral pandemics...

Fearmongering bastards

I can't possibly get the avian flu, SARS, Anthrax and mad cow will kill me first.

consdubya: It is not like saying "wolf", it is more of saying "The sky is falling".

Freschel:

2005-03-09 02:41:09 AM Freschel

consdubya: It is not like saying "wolf", it is more of saying "The sky is falling".

But could there be a link between the wolf and the falling sky? Maybe the wolf is responsible for the sky falling.....

/Cryptic

"... a heavily censored report suggests."

Dear Mr. F------ Prime Minister,

There is some seriously f----- up s--- going on in f------ Asia, man. Some of those m-----f---ers are f------ talking about f------ using some bird f------ flu or s---, man, and taking it right up our f------ a-- with some c---s-cking bomb or f------ spray or some s---. One those fa----s in research says he f------ heard it on the f------ radio or some s---, but I don't know if we can even f------ trust him cuz I heard he and ------ from personel are totally b---ing and s---- and p------ in the f------ company washroom, if you know what I'm f------ saying here. If you f---ing follow me. Anyway, heads f------ up, because next thing you know, Ottowa's on f------ fire and your f------ h----- wife is p----- up f------ blood on your f------ s----- with the d-------- because you didn't f------ listen to that t---b----ar in the f------ k------. So r------ out, or whatever.

Yours,
Intelligence F-----

I'll start worrying when people around me start bleeding from every orifice.

Personally, I'm hoping, IF it happens, that through random chance, I happen to be the first one diagnosed with having been infected with smallpox. Hey, I have no other contribution to the history books yet. And besides, it'd be cool to be the subject of a made-for-tv movie about the latest, greatest smallpox outbreak of all time.

I'm not wishing for it, but if it has to happen...I just hope they let me play myself and get Melissa Gilbert to play my wife. :) Don't knock her; she's really built!!

rabid_d

d'oh!!! I wish that f------ voting s--- were f------ turned on in this f------ thread!! :)

Do I get to wear a cape?? Woohoo!! :)

Yellow journalism.

spookcomix

"It was prepared by the J2 Directorate of Strategic Intelligence, a secretive branch of National Defence charged with producing intelligence for the government."

Well, it was fun while it lasted, guys.

Shhhhhh!

rabid_d:

Heh, what scares me is that might be accurate ;)

POAC: I hope the government never figures out what a motivational tool fear can be

A rational and informed people would see through such simple attempts at manipulation.

Bird Flu? Terrorists? Fark that! I'm still waiting on the damn killer Bees. Seriously, What are those bees waiting for? I was expecting a crazy horde of africanized bees from hell to overtake this entire country a decade ago when I was a kid. You know, that's the problem with killer bees: they're unreliable. Maybe this crazy Asian Flu virus from hell will be more reliable and we'll all get killed some time this decade.

Tonight's Headline: Top Scientists Agree Sky is Falling.

Oh, for fark's sake!

Who the hell comes up with this shiat? If the Secret Service is monitoring Fark tonight, this is for them:

HEY GUYS! WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE! Finding new ways to scare us isn't going to make us more scared. We stopped caring somewhere back during the big "Anthrax" scare. The terrorist warning system is a farking joke. Frankly, unless a terrorist is standing in front of me holding a bomb or a vial of small pox, I no longer give a shiat.

/GRAAAAAH!! I'm so farking tired of my own government trying to oppress me and there isn't shiat anyone can do about it anymore. And don't give me any shiat about Kerry being a better choice. That horse was buried a long time ago and neither one of those farkers they threw at us was qualified to take my order at McDonalds, let alone run the country.

I'm still waiting for that mountain in the Azores to fall into the sea causing a tidal wave to hit america - that'd be worth seeing!

USPmadness

And yet there are so many Americans who honestly seemed to believe that, if Kerry were elected, that Al Qaeda would invade or something.

Pxtl
Bush and Kerry were equally incompetent for the position. I penciled in Ren and Stimpy...

As far as I can tell, GWB has done Al Qaeda's job for them; even simplified it by telling Americans how scared they should be.

Every Al Qaeda operative in the world could retire right now with the feeling of a job well done. They don't even have to bomb anything else, or poison a water reserve, or spread Anthrax powder, or set a shoe bomb off on board a plane. Our own fear mongers (probably completely removed from any presidential influence - he doesn't have a clue what's going on anyway) keep coming up with new "Doomsday" plans and releasing them to the press. Even completely unworkable plans are tossed out there to raise the public anxiety levels.

We've given Al Qaeda (and terrorists in general, OBL specifically) way more attention than they warrant. They're nothing but a nuisance. A farking footnote in some elementary school textbook a hundred years from now. Americans kill each other more often in drunk driving accidents than get killed in terrorist attacks. Christ, we flat out shoot each other more often. And they want me to worry about a bird flu?

Fortunately, our government - seeking to dumb down the populace - needs a good hook to solidify it's powerbase. It couldn't use Hell, 'cuz the Catholics already had that one. Next best thing was terrorism/drugs/AIDS/school shootings/fear du joir.

I say, for the next election, we throw back whatever candidates they give us and choose our own. Anyone who wants to run for president gets their name on the ballot come election day. No more of this Democratic/Republican primary bullshiat. Let's see some real competition come November.

/sadly, roughly 99% of the country (anyone who voted for GW or Kerry or anyone being fed to us) will cowboy up to the voting booths in 2008 to shovel in a new pile of shiat, thinking that the Dems are better than the Republicans are better than the Dems, etc. etc. etc...

USPmadness Oh, I'm not arguing that Kerry wasn't the Giant Douche vs. Bush's Turd Sandwich, I'm just saying that I always was just bewildered by conservatives who believed that the Cold War had restarted with Bush as the only one who could hold back the tide of darkness. You know, people who thought that Al Gore would not have started his own War On Terror after 9/11 (one that didn't involve Iraq), or that John Kerry would sell nukes to Bin Laden or something.

The only "affliction" being caught here is AMERICAN PARANIOA..

TERRIST!!
Where? where?
OH NO!!!
They're coming to get get me. Same me, Rummy!

USPmadness

I am sooooo hearing what your saying there. Spot on.

In the end the differences between both the major parties are cosmetic at best.

And yeah, I am not scared of a Terror attack either unless I am in one. Much the same way I feel about driving my car, where I am only scared if I am in an accident.

What I do worry about is massive wars breaking out, and me and the people I am close to having to go kill for no reason and possibly be killed for no reason.

No-one is attacking the US. Nobody can. If you take the analogy of the animal world, the US is the human (With the best technology) China is a hippo (Will fark your shiat up if you go into its territory), and Osama and the gang are like cockroaches (They dont really hurt you that much, but you cant get rid of them). The Human is unquestionably in power, as it can swat cockroaches with ease, wont be bothered by the hippo unless it goes into its territory.

There really is nothing to be afraid here. What does scare me however, is not knowing the reason why this fear is being encouraged, and what is actually going on.

Because if it ends in nuclear war, the terrorists win. Cockroaches will be the only to survive.

Day_Old_Dutchie

The only "affliction" being caught here is AMERICAN PARANIOA..

Sadly it's more infectious than bird flu, and has thoroughly infected Britain too...

I don't think it is just America or Britian. Propaganda and fearmongering have been used by all types of leaderships since (I'm guessing) people organized into groups and starting having battles. This quote sums it up very well, and while you may hate the man, it's hard to find fault in his logic:

"Why of course the people don't want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."

per teh article
"Dr. Brown, who has done expensive work on reassorting or mating flu viruses"

Well how could anyone argue his assertion then ??!? After all, it was expensive. I mean when you put it that way, HOLY CRAP I POOP MY PANTS in TERROR!!

I've put plastic wrap over all the window in my house so I'm safe.

Facts:

1. The Bird Flu has a stunningly high human mortality rate, even among the young and otherwise healthy.
2. Viruses mutate.
3. A random mutation (or a series of mutations) could bring about person to person transmission of the Bird Flu virus. There have only been confirmed cases of animal to person transmission, but that didn't exist in the recent past. Nearly all human viruses existed as animal viruses at some point, and mutated--first to allow animal to human transmission, and then to allow human to human transmission.
4. Flu pandemics killed more people than any other single cause in human history (although the plague killed a higher percentage), and that was before global travel was quick and easy.
5. There's no known anti-viral agent or vaccine that seems promising when it comes to the Bird Flu, although, no doubt, there will be. Still, the race is on.

Conclusion:

It's not fear-mongering to say we're effed. At least some of us. On the bright side, perhaps the culling of the infirm and elderly will "save" social security and medicare.

2005-03-09 07:30:43 AM Burberry Coloured Beard

Sadly it's more infectious than bird flu, and has thoroughly infected Britain too...

Thank god for Auntie: The Power of Nightmares

NonComposMentis

Very true. It should be compulsory viewing.