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(Some Guy)   We are all doomed - here all the asteriods about to hit us for the next 33 years   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

14147 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2002 at 11:35 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

113 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-03-20 11:37:10 AM  
Damn good thing I have fark here to remind me when to duck.
2002-03-20 11:37:57 AM  
*quack quack*
2002-03-20 11:39:43 AM  
*fark fark*
2002-03-20 11:40:21 AM  
I just ordered a bunch of pillows on Yahoo. It's gonna be alright.
2002-03-20 11:40:34 AM  
2001 ED18 2452356.16 2002 Mar. 22.66 0.07945 1-opposition, arc = 5 days
2002-03-20 11:41:12 AM  
Farkman will save us.
2002-03-20 11:41:30 AM  
1999 AN10 2461624.79 2027 Aug. 7.29 0.002652

At least there's 25 more years.
2002-03-20 11:41:40 AM  

Let the anarchy and lawlessness begin.
2002-03-20 11:41:50 AM  
Did anyone here do better then a 'D' in science, and can explain what all of those number things mean?
2002-03-20 11:42:25 AM  

It has already started
2002-03-20 11:43:27 AM  
gotta start buying them guns to fight off them smegma bandits after the asteroid has hit.
2002-03-20 11:43:44 AM  
HOLY FARKING shiatE! there is a lot of crap floating around up there eh?

the best part? from the sound of the one really knows when, where, or if any of these little guys will hit. hahaha

i think there could be a new money making web site here. taking book on when, where, and/or if the asteroids will hit. whose got some money to sink ito this project with me? we could be the next jeff bazos!

and when are they going to pull out the triangle-shaped space craft to blast these buggers out of existance? out for that trapizoidial alien ship!
2002-03-20 11:44:42 AM  
its a good thing i didnt understand any of that nonsense. ignorance is bliss.
2002-03-20 11:45:25 AM  
I never knew we had minor planets. And I am smart.
2002-03-20 11:45:37 AM  
Invest in Harry Stamper Drilling Inc. today!
2002-03-20 11:46:14 AM  
Thats just the ones they know about.
2002-03-20 11:46:17 AM  
OK, so .002652 AU is about 250000 miles, a little further than the distance to the moon. Still...
2002-03-20 11:46:57 AM  
Let's ask GWB to send his killer satellites to intercept and destroy..
2002-03-20 11:47:20 AM  
What's with all the numbers and this AU crapola. We need graphics!
2002-03-20 11:47:39 AM  
Some science guy correct me if I'm wrong.

1 AU = 93 Million Miles
.2 AU = 18,600,000 Miles
Distance to the moon = 238,857 Miles

So big laddy friggin' dah.
2002-03-20 11:47:47 AM  
Quick! I need a bunch of LSD and Joints! Oh wait, next 33 years......nevermind.
2002-03-20 11:48:08 AM  
The Ant and the Grasshopper...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies
out in the cold.

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls
a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others less fortunate are
cold and starving.

CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the
ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can
this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit, the Frog, appears on Oprah with the
grasshopper, and everybody cries
when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front
of the ant's house, where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome."

Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter
Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back
of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the beginning
of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate
number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated
by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant,
and the case is tried before a panel of federal
judges that Bill appointed from a list of
single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper
finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while
the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.
2002-03-20 11:50:44 AM  
Cant we just put some big rocket boosters on the moon to move it around and use it as a sheild?
2002-03-20 11:50:57 AM  
Guys at Harvard- "Riling up the dim-witted is fun!"
2002-03-20 11:51:28 AM  
SteveVT: I'll be damned if I know what that has to do with big-ass rocks flying around, but it was interesting nonetheless
2002-03-20 11:51:30 AM  
>three minor planets (Ceres, Pallas and Vesta)<

Our solar system has "minor planets"? WTF are those?

Planets that are younger then 18 million years old? Are they too young to buy cigarettes?
2002-03-20 11:51:49 AM  
I'm concerned about the two they ommitted from that list.
2002-03-20 11:52:17 AM  
So, when does the Ant collide with the Grasshopper?
2002-03-20 11:54:19 AM  
Truely excellent work. I may not entirely agree with it, but a fantastic story none the less... You should illustrate that and sell it. You'd make a killing from the rich kid market!
2002-03-20 11:54:19 AM  
One AU is the distance to the sun, 93,000,000 miles. So .2 AU is about 18,600,000 miles.
2002-03-20 11:54:50 AM  
Hmmmm. One of the links shows you....

2140 Dec. 1.75 0.0005420

Which is basically about 50,000 miles. Ladies and gentlemen, alert your great, great, great, great grandkids.
2002-03-20 11:56:57 AM  
"Objects with very uncertain orbits are excluded from this listing"-fantastic,wonder how many of THESE there are
2002-03-20 11:57:33 AM  
So why didn't they include mass data for any of these? I mean, most of them are probably going to be little flashes of light in the sky at worst...are any of these actually big enough to get through the atmosphere?
2002-03-20 11:58:41 AM  
2002 EM7 2452341.54 2002 Mar. 8.04 0.003110 1-opposition, arc = 7 days E2002-F28 2002 EM7

Nice, within 289230 miles of earth. Wouldn't that be crazy if one hit the moon?
2002-03-20 11:58:43 AM  
I liked the story, SteveVT. I always figured the grasshopper would realize he's bigger than the ant and beat him up and take the food.

We have several minor planets...the aforementioned Ceres, Pallas and the lesser minor planets...Agnes, Chloe and Hortense. Then there's Big Sal, the greater lesser minor planet.
2002-03-20 11:59:27 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-20 11:59:52 AM  
Lewke: as Jclark666 pointed out, one of those objects is predicted to pass only approx 250,000 miles away.

By coincidence, "Armageddon" was on tv last night here in the UK.
2002-03-20 12:01:02 PM  
"Armageddon" is a terrible movie.

.02 is your change please drive through
2002-03-20 12:01:46 PM  
Why not just get AIRWOLF to shoot the lil'bastards out of the sky?
2002-03-20 12:02:36 PM  
When can we start looting?
2002-03-20 12:02:37 PM  
"By coincidence, "Armageddon" was on tv last night here in the UK."

Then I am certain Harmonia has already protested to the BBC regarding the treatment of asteroids.
2002-03-20 12:02:48 PM  
Humm, I didn't see refrences to the size and density of these space rocks.
2002-03-20 12:03:59 PM  
This doesn't include the asteroids heading towards earth that we don't know about, like the blind-siding asteroids that come from the direction of the sun.
2002-03-20 12:06:16 PM  
Slippy"2140 Dec. 1.75 0.0005420
Which is basically about 50,000 miles."

WooHoo! Maybe it'll throw the moon (238,857 miles) off orbit so it can come careening towards Earth. Here meteor meteor meteor . . .
2002-03-20 12:06:48 PM  
That works out great for me -- if I time it right I should be watching the impact from my deathbed.

The youngsters might not be so sanguine at the prospects of being smooshed by an asteroid, but, as they say, youth is wasted on the young.
2002-03-20 12:07:21 PM  
Harmonia has hemorrhoids?
2002-03-20 12:09:26 PM  


2002-03-20 12:12:15 PM  
Of course, these are only the ones they know about.

Wasn't the one that took out the dinosaurs only about a mile long?
2002-03-20 12:13:02 PM  
HAHAHA , Astronomers and their lame pickup lines....

"Scuse me baby, wpould you sleep with me before asteroid 2002 CB26 comes crashing into Earth ? We can't afford to put off knocking the boots any longer !!!"
2002-03-20 12:18:47 PM  
So THAT is "The Terrible Secret of Space"
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