Sigh, what will these crooks say next to stop themselves spending some quality time at Club Fed?

For your average mugger they get a few minutes in front of the judge, who's normally asleep, and then straight to pokey for a few years.

While collar CEO who steals billions......

UFIA him.

What about the Chewbakka (sp?) defense?

burn in hell ebbers-burn in HELLLL!!!!ONE!ELEVEN

spelling by the submitter is GOOD!

So that would be the "Jedi Mind Trick" defence?

Cases like these should be handled like witch hunts. All Worldcom executive officers are guilty and should be burned at the stake.

There once was a dude whom I hated
I wished that with Satan he mated
Old Scratch would him ride hard
and flame-broil his raw nards
until his lame rhymes were abated

/pay attention to me

"Coach"?

even IF he isn't guilty of the charge, under the company's incorporation papers isn't he responsible somehow?

Take it like a man bernie. Stop snivelling.

/move along move along.

"WorldCom lawyer moves from 'Coach' defence to the even stupider 'These Are Not the Crooks You Are Looking For' defence"



Submitter maybe you should spell "Defense" right before you call others stupid.

I'm sorry, but if a CEO is sufficiently god-like to deserve $10 million plus per year renumeration then they are sufficiently god-like to know exactly what everyone in the company is doing. Everyone.

Therefore any fraud in the company is done with their knowledge and thus they are guilty.

Maxx, to paraphrase Chris Rock at the Oscars, if you can't come up with a good limerick, just wait.

/bad form to "rhyme" a word with itself

What's wrong with de fence??

Well you hire him as your lawyer and this is what you get.

(Chewbacca Defense)

WorldCom millions
Ebbers stole, now fears the jail;
Cornholing awaits.

"Defence" is marked in the dictionary as chiefly British. That doesn't mean it's wrong.

/morans

rodeofrog wouldn't be the only one to eject you

ah ha...the "Obi-Wan" defense. Sorry to tell you this, Mr. Idjit CEO, it's not gonna work...prepare for UFIA.

pERHAPS A GRAMMAR CHECK TOO, the_peoples_gimp

Osama?

/baiting flames

Well, the biggest obsticle to someone's defense is that they are guilty. OJ was the exception to the rule but here it looks like the charges are going to stick. Old fool shouldn't have played with the bank.

STUPIDER!

I sacrificed a virgin child to Darth Baal Cheney in tribute that Ken Lay our lord and savior continues to breathe the sweet air of freedomlibertylibertylibertyfreedomfreedom.

If Sullivan becomes the fall guy because he couldn't get Ebbers convicted, he'll spend his 80+ years in jail, but I'm putting money on that Sullivan will put a hit on Ebbers. Ebbers won't live another 5 years if Sullivan's in jail. Shawshank Redemption, of a sort.

Ebbers may be a chode, I don't know, but I sure hope that it doesn't become a precedent that, if a manager/CEO demands that his staff meet their targets (with an implied "or else"), suddenly they're criminally liable for anything those staff members might do.

I'm I missing something from these articles or does the whole case against Ebbers hang on the testimony of one less-than-credible witness, who even-then is only claiming that it was implied he should "cook the books", not that he was specifically instructed to.

/wtf?

I bet this guy is taking good notes on defense tactics:

"I have prepared a written statement. Fif!"

Don't discount what the country bumpkin from Mississippi, garsh all yall know those city slickers took me for a ride act can get you. People are gullible and stupid.

Stolen money?

There was no stolen money!

Look over here!

Hey, relax, fella! You need a rest, guy!

what about the defense defence?


/tapdances on glitter with a tophat and cane

This guy is not going to jail. None of them are going to jail. They are going to do a little fluff time and go back to their houses in the Hamptons.

The important thing to remember is. We enable them..

He should have to write 'Crime Doesn't Pay' on a blackboard 10000 times. After that, he should be severely beaten with an ax handle.

"defence"? does submitter realise that Fark is based in the USA?

Isn't there any hard evidence? Like reports he signed off on? Memos of meetings where tactics and procedures were discussed? I can't believe this all comes down to he said, he said.

This "I don't recall" bullshiat is used because it works.
See Ronald Reagan and more recently Alberto Gonzeles and Condi Rice.

Did he never use email? What kind of forensics computer scientists are on this case? Would it help to have some sex involved would that help it get more serious attention?

I appears that the key is to have no shame and never admit to a mistake. That and to never write anything down.

Ha ha, Rodeofrog. Even on Fark, there are people cooler than you.

/that's defenSe

EmbodiedHate
Yep. The rich get the best justice money can buy.

I guess financial criminals are learning from politicans.

I suppose it is all okay, I mean nobody was really hurt, right? This is the free market baby. We don't need no stinken' oversight for our corporations.

The SEC is a joke. For all the whoha after Enron they are still understaffed and underfunded and have to rely on tips from whistleblowers to even find out about any crimes.

When he gets away with this crime that will send a message to the rest of the players that anything goes and you can get away with it even if you get caught. Unless you are a woman of course, then you are screwed (so to speak). (I was tempted to say "It's all okay if you are a Republican", but I don't know if Bernie is or is not a Republican. I don't want to assume that his political leanings were reflected by the political party he endorses.)

Some people don't want to recognize that sometimes the "invisible hand" of the marketplace needs regulations to help it out. In fact, regulations in some areas are necessary to a healthy marketplace.