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(theindychannel.com)   Inter... mittent... wiper... inven... tor... dies...   (theindychannel.com) divider line 97
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9923 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2005 at 3:10 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-02-25 01:18:43 PM
Nice.


Headline.
 
2005-02-25 01:22:20 PM
I don't

get it.
 
2005-02-25 01:22:36 PM
clever :)



(whip-whup)



/funny too :)
 
2005-02-25 01:23:49 PM
Rain-x poisoning not suspected


/stolen from my own version
 
2005-02-25 01:25:03 PM
His daughter said Kearns was buried, appropriately enough, on a misty day when it rained "just enough to have the wipers going on intermittent."

You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
 
2005-02-25 01:26:20 PM
excellent........headline........submitter
 
2005-02-25 01:26:21 PM
If you're an intermittent wiper, I sure hope you atleast bathe regularly.
 
2005-02-25 01:26:54 PM
I'd like to personally thank him for helping me not die in the monsoon we just had in Southern California for the last two weeks.

So,thank.....you.
 
2005-02-25 01:29:08 PM
An earlier submission noted that his health had recently been back and forth.
 
2005-02-25 01:30:30 PM
Nice headline. Clever, yet subtle and mildly witty. I give it a 9.
 
2005-02-25 01:30:48 PM
I saw an interview with this guy quite some time ago. Apparently he invent the intermittent wiper and tried to sell the idea to Fords. At that point it was considered too costly to implement. Later, as technology mad things cheaper and smaller, the Ford started to use the intermittent wiper, eventually other intermittent did also, but they refused to pay him royalties.

He sued Ford, won, then used the settlement money to sue other car makers. He said that after court costs and attorney fees, he never really made much money off of it and the money he did make was spent financing other lawsuits.

Kinda sad really.
 
2005-02-25 01:32:14 PM
More people use intermittent wipers that were fans of Hunter S Thompson. However, it's teh funnay to laugh at the wiper guy and not teh funnay to laugh about some drugged out goon that pulled a Cobain with children in the house.



/what gives?
 
2005-02-25 01:36:06 PM
Alexis: If you're an intermittent wiper, I sure hope you atleast bathe regularly.

*hurl*
 
2005-02-25 01:38:40 PM
splishsplashfark, HST left some mescaline over in the corner for you.
 
2005-02-25 01:42:25 PM
Norb: splishsplashfark, HST left some mescaline over in the corner for you.

I'm all over it.
 
2005-02-25 01:48:24 PM
Nice, submitter.
 
2005-02-25 01:52:51 PM
So is this guy suing car companies the reason I only have 4 speeds to choose from these days rather than the analog-style control of the wiper speed I used to have? I remember having a slider switch and could adjust it to whatever I wanted, now it gives 2 or 3 variable speeds, one steady, and one steady fast. I heard they did that to get around some patent.
 
2005-02-25 01:58:19 PM
nice headline, on the intermittent thingay:
Guy 1 (in a doctors office): Wawawhat are yayayou here fufufor?
Guy 2: Prostate promlem.
Guy 1: Wawawhat is a Puhpuhprostate puhpuhproblem?
Guy 2: I piss like you talk.
 
2005-02-25 02:00:47 PM
Submitted by William Shatner?

/nothin'
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2005-02-25 02:01:41 PM
The   intermittent   windshield   wiper   is   one   of   the   greatest   inventions   in   the   history   of   transportation.
 
2005-02-25 02:10:13 PM
I like the one, giant wiper that Mercedes uses on most of their cars. It's got that rotating dual hinge that will make you dizzy from staring at it. Putting that thing on high is hilarious. One 24" wiper moving frenetically back and forth.

I really don't get the point of the thing, other than giving the ricer kids something to emulate with their Civics.

/no point in this post
 
2005-02-25 02:14:21 PM
Great headline there submitter!

Ok, first the "Crash Test Dummies" inventor dies, then the "Intermittent....Wiper" inventor dies, who's next in the automobile inventor trifecta?
 
2005-02-25 02:19:11 PM
Very funny submitter!
 
2005-02-25 02:53:10 PM
If you're a Fark Lite'r, be glad for once that you didn't pay the five bucks, or you'd be swimming in about 10-12 submissions for this story...all with the same headline.

Fo' reals.
 
2005-02-25 02:58:43 PM
godzilla

I'm betting on the third brake light kids from Tennessee. Maybe in a car wreck even.
 
2005-02-25 03:15:30 PM
All wipers will be at half-staff today

 
2005-02-25 03:15:41 PM
Fark needs a "Funniest Headline Hall-Of-Fame".

This definitely would qualify.
 
2005-02-25 03:16:16 PM
who is Fred Durst?
 
2005-02-25 03:16:19 PM
Chastain86:

If you're a Fark Lite'r, be glad for once that you didn't pay the five bucks, or you'd be swimming in about 10-12 submissions for this story...all with the same headline.


What the hell is the deal with that? It is not like this guy was hugely popular or something but there are like 20 submissions of the article.

He invented the intermittent wiper, it's not like he cured AIDs or anything.
 
2005-02-25 03:17:18 PM
Tucker? No wait, he's dead aready.
 
2005-02-25 03:17:27 PM
Submitter

Perfect headline!!

/anyone who posts with "I submitted this with a better blah blah" needs intermittent brain fluid drainage.
 
2005-02-25 03:21:06 PM
I knew I had arrived when the last old car I bought had working intermittent wipers.

And the electric doorlocks worked too!
 
2005-02-25 03:21:07 PM
Awww, how sad.

I LOVE intermittent wipers. It's a "must have" for my vehicle.

Driving in the bizzare AZ rain has made that quite the necessity.

Kudos and RIP.
 
2005-02-25 03:21:19 PM
drsoran: I remember having a slider switch and could adjust it to whatever I wanted,

Gods, I remember (and miss) those. Mine was "twistknob-style".

/also misses having the high-beam button on the floor
 
2005-02-25 03:21:28 PM
markie_farkie:

Perfect headline!!

/anyone who posts with "I submitted this with a better blah blah" needs intermittent brain fluid drainage.


I submitted this with a better wiper motor relay...
 
2005-02-25 03:23:08 PM
Enter... midget... wiper...

okay, we'll stop there.
 
2005-02-25 03:25:00 PM
ArcadianRefugee: /also misses having the high-beam button on the floor

Me too. Loved that about my '66 Mustang. That should definitely be brought back.
 
2005-02-25 03:25:33 PM
Maybe now we'll know who deepthorat was?

/too obscure for the room?
 
2005-02-25 03:26:07 PM
Priapulid: He invented the intermittent wiper, it's not like he cured AIDs or anything.

More people in North America have intermittent wipers than AIDS?

/dunno, just a guess
 
2005-02-25 03:26:49 PM
Awww...I was going to submit this with the exact type of headline. I didn't though.

/It's because I'm not special.
 
2005-02-25 03:26:51 PM
Niedermeyer, DEAD!
Dean Wormer, DEAD!
Guy who created the intermittent windshield wiper, DEAD!
 
2005-02-25 03:27:19 PM
I thought it was intermittent STEERING.
Worst...test drive...ever.
 
2005-02-25 03:30:35 PM
2005-02-25 02:00:47 PM blahpers


Submitted by William Shatner?

/nothin'



No, you're on to something:



Damn you, Spock. Turn off the power.
 
2005-02-25 03:32:59 PM
God--

So do you pass go, collect $31 million from the automotive industry??

So which would suck worse:

A. Having a great idea/invention that changes the world, and never makes you a penny, or..

B. Going through life as a casual observer of other's great ideas, and never having one of your own?
 
2005-02-25 03:35:54 PM
Heywood Banks in mourning.

/obscure?
 
2005-02-25 03:36:01 PM
markie, i had this idea for a mat with conclusions on it you could "jump to"
 
2005-02-25 03:36:32 PM
muh wiper wiper wiper blades
muh wiper wiper wiper blades
"one time on delay"
muh wiper.............wiper..........wiper blades
i wish that i'd replace muh wiper blades
 
2005-02-25 03:36:55 PM
That makes me so sad...
Now it doesn't.
That makes me so sad...
Now it doesn't.
That makes me so sad...
Now it doesn't.

/excellent headline!
 
2005-02-25 03:39:40 PM
Ironic. The day he died it didn't rain.
 
2005-02-25 03:40:05 PM
Anyone who can make that headline out of that story is OK with me.
Best this week.
/intermittent wiper
//occasional bather
 
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