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(FarkMan)   New FarkMan Episode   (farkman.com) divider line 156
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4768 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2002 at 8:00 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-03-19 08:05:48 AM
Farkman should sniff ether until he dies. THE END!

By the way, props on the FLASH skills, yo.
 
2002-03-19 08:08:07 AM
You killed Walken??! Arrgh!
 
2002-03-19 08:09:21 AM
Errr, oops, sorry about that.
 
2002-03-19 08:11:57 AM
Kick-ass flash as usual.

I missed the bobbies and the penguin though ...

Next episode:

Evil Wil Wheaton goes shopping at the evil-overload-o-rama, but accidently winds up at a Star Trek convention. Hilarity ensues.
 
2002-03-19 08:12:08 AM
The head of Walken must live!
Farkman picks it up and gets flash-frame visions of the future a'la The Dead Zone. Yet another super power for Farkman (but he has to carry the head around to use it).
Maybe he can keep it in the glove compartment of the Mystery Meat (or whatever other vehicle he decides to take from the lot).
 
2002-03-19 08:13:10 AM
BOBBIES!
 
2002-03-19 08:16:31 AM
Next Episode: Having been left alone in a second rate car-lot filled with cheap lemons, it seems only natural that one of the Farktastic Four displays excellent mechancial skills and builds some horrible almagam of cars a la the A-team, using Walken's head as a hood ornament. Perhaps they can use it to escape when Quentin Tarantino shows up to sue them for raping that watch scene from Pulp Fiction.
 
2002-03-19 08:19:20 AM
And then, Tux gets crushed by a giant hammer by Evil Wil.

...hey, 'ya still want to see it. I know I do. ;-)

Farkman then commenses to use the "If you want to give me this Farkmobile for free, don't speak up" line of logic to commendere himself a rockin' ride....and then use Walken's head as a novelty hood ornament.
 
fb-
2002-03-19 08:19:37 AM
This is like watching a buncha 10 year olds play dress up and make believe.

Oh Oh! Pretend you're doing this. Oh Oh! and Ill put on the cape and pretend I'm Superman.

Barf.
 
2002-03-19 08:22:04 AM
HAHAHA!!!!

I'm so proud of all you guys behind Farkman! This stuff is hilarious :)

But having known Vicious for a while now, I really doubt that she'd slash off Walken's head! Hahaha...

But it's cool... Loved the 'Mystery Meat' car in the backdrop.
 
2002-03-19 08:24:43 AM
Great Flash skills, once again.
 
2002-03-19 08:26:27 AM
I still think my idea is the best:

Farkman inhales a copious amount of Ether and dies. The End.



There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved
than a man in the depths of an ether binge.' -Hunter S. Thompson
 
2002-03-19 08:27:03 AM
Hey I'm a flash designed myself and to all who've been saying that this flash is sucky... well just shove it up yours! Flash is HARD WORK and lots of effort! It's not like takin' a pen and doodling stuff on it and making a cheap comic. There's actually skills involved! I am very impressed by the guys who're putting hours and hours into making us all laugh at not cost!

(If you wanna see my flash work, email me.)
 
2002-03-19 08:28:03 AM
Oopsie... I'm NOT flash designed! I'm a flash designer... hehe...
 
2002-03-19 08:31:47 AM
Walken becomes the headless horse man and one of Farkmans most evil enemies because farkman takes the head and keeps it in a jar somewhere so he can gloat at it.
 
2002-03-19 08:33:23 AM
Now with voting:
The head of Walken must live!
Farkman picks it up and gets flash-frame visions of the future a'la The Dead Zone. Yet another super power for Farkman (but he has to carry the head around to use it).
Maybe he can keep it in the glove compartment of the Mystery Meat (or whatever other vehicle he decides to take from the lot).
 
2002-03-19 08:33:32 AM
Where the hell are the masturbating penguins?

I NEED masturbating penguins! Masturbating Penguins is the poop!
 
2002-03-19 08:34:38 AM
Osama ends up being the guy who sliced the head off, is promptly killed by a military mortar, which is in turn destroyed by a giant frolicing kitten who then is smited by god when Farkman checks out the chicks tits and walks into a dark room presumably to whack off.
 
2002-03-19 08:40:26 AM
Awesome as always, the audio got a bit farked up there at the end.
 
2002-03-19 08:41:42 AM
Next episode: Cosmiverse takes over Farkman's brain.
 
2002-03-19 08:41:57 AM
Cliche Kitty utilizes the Walken head as a scratching post. Hilarity ensues!
 
2002-03-19 08:42:04 AM
I'm going to let someone else write the next one cause I'm just not creative enough. Pelicans.
 
2002-03-19 08:42:49 AM
I'm thinking a Walken-head-in-a-jar, a la Futurama.
 
2002-03-19 08:45:12 AM
Thanks, folks.

Sorry...I killed off Walken because I'm pretty sure we'll get a "cease and desist" for this panel real quick! All that copyrighted content, etc. "Don't sue me! It's...uh...promotional! Advertising for your shiny movie companies! FREE! Don't sweat it...it's on me!"

Besides, I had to get that infinitely-photoshopped sleepy hollow head in there somehow.
 
2002-03-19 08:45:29 AM
They should take the head of walken, which will obviously come in handy later, and go next door to: Honest Drew Curtis presents Drew Curtis's Used Cars, where drew talks them into purchasing a +3 Ford Fiesta of Malfunctioning.
 
2002-03-19 08:48:03 AM
Although I like the idea of Walken's head showing up.

It wouldn't have to speak that way....thus no court cases.
 
2002-03-19 08:49:52 AM
Walken's head cannot die. GG and Farkgirl use his head as their personal pleasure device. His tongue does magic.
 
2002-03-19 08:51:40 AM
Another feature length Farkman episode! With a speaking role for Cliche Kitty! And domo-kun! And a bucket of pelicans!
 
2002-03-19 08:52:35 AM
We turn and see that it was Satan-boy that slashed off Walkin's head - he does some chants and the body becomes alive and tries to get the head back, BUT just at that moment the PeTA nerds show up and try to bag Cliche again, but mistakingly grab Walken's head as Cliche jumps by. The headless corpse starts chasing the PeTA guys as the run away screaming like little girls. All the while the Farkgang stands there amazed. Satan boy laughs then disappears in a poof of smoke. We can flash to the PeTA Castle where Evil Wil thinks he has captured Cliche again, but now has to save his PeTA geeks from some headless monster. The gang goes to pick out a car, but get into an argument with the car dealerships owner - FB's father.
 
2002-03-19 08:56:44 AM
make sure if you decide to use Walken's head as a hood ornament that Farkman turns the rear-view mirror so Walken can see his reflection
 
2002-03-19 08:58:32 AM
I'd vote for Coldshark but I can't, so there.
 
2002-03-19 08:59:15 AM
Now with voting!

Farkman sniffs some ether and dies. The End.



I'll even provide the dialogue:

FARKMAN: Hey ether!

(Takes out American Flag)

FARKMAN: Why not?

(Pours ether on it, inhales fumes)

FARKMAN: Oh my! Farkman going dowwwwwwwwwwwn!

THE END
 
2002-03-19 09:02:57 AM
Second that Blumf : I want to see some cheesy insided ST jokes incorporated. Guest role for Fb for being a good sport.
 
2002-03-19 09:03:55 AM
Next Episode: Having been left alone in a second rate car-lot filled with cheap lemons, it seems only natural that one of the Farktastic Four displays excellent mechancial skills and builds some horrible almagam of cars a la the A-team, using Walken's head as a hood ornament. Perhaps they can use it to escape when Quentin Tarantino shows up to sue them for raping that watch scene from Pulp Fiction.

What is this "voting" thing you speak of?

 
2002-03-19 09:04:11 AM
Have the Fark crew look behind them and there in a spotlight from heaven is the perfect Fark mobile. It has cool weapons and even "F"'s on the sides. The gang gets all excited and then Domo Kun pops up destroying it much like he destroied the fortress. Then the gang has to settle on the dog car from dumb and dumber. Which of course angers Peta and evil Wil Wheaton unleashed his new creation "Bat Boy" to avenge the explotation of the image of a noble creature like the mighty canine.
 
2002-03-19 09:05:01 AM
Where the hell is the COWBELL? I GOTTA HAVE MORE COWBELL!
 
2002-03-19 09:07:29 AM
I'd vote for this is I could: 09:04:11 AM Cliffy
 
2002-03-19 09:14:30 AM
BWAHAHA! Anything with Walken is gold. I love how Walken was drawn, you captured his "esscence". I hope he comes back as the headless horseman. And also, needs more Nutsack Squirrl!
 
2002-03-19 09:14:45 AM
They should use Walken's head as a Magic 8 Ball to find the Farkmobile. Shake his head, and have answers pop out of his esophagus. And then go with Cliffy's idea (cool Farkmobile destroyed by Domo-Kun).
 
2002-03-19 09:22:42 AM
Good job, it was boring and sucks and usual. At least you are consistent.
 
2002-03-19 09:31:18 AM
nice work people who make this!
 
2002-03-19 09:31:21 AM
Farkman scrubs brain with Comet, blinds self with icepick after following fourth link to goatse/x.com.
 
2002-03-19 09:35:55 AM

After heisting the Farkmobile, the Fark gang hook up with the good Wil Wheaton to hunt down PETA. They get to PETA HQ for a showdown with Farkman, GG, Farkgirl, Wil Wheaton (Equipped with a light sabre), and Cliché Kitty vs Evil Wil Wheaton, fb-'s father (who will announce that he is Farkman's father as well as the two Wil Wheatons's father), Frenchie (He surrenders), the Pravda bear (RUSSIA MAKES IT FUNNY), and Supergay.


C'mon farkers, you know you wanna see it.

 
2002-03-19 09:38:49 AM
Porkgod is boring and sucks as usual. Consistent twin powers activate!

Worst flame ever!
 
2002-03-19 09:44:25 AM
Upon death Walken's soul combines with a busted down Miata and make (wait for it.....) the Farkmobile. Just think of KIT from nightrider, but insane.
 
2002-03-19 09:47:25 AM
agreed parallax!

porkgod: unless you can produce something as good as or better yourself, shut da fook up!

biatch.
 
2002-03-19 09:48:42 AM
I think it is time for farkman to display one of his powers, photoshopping. Farkman looks at walkens head intensely, and mustard man's body appears. Using this new found power, he photoshops a farkmobile out of nothing.
 
2002-03-19 09:51:41 AM
Parallax thanks a lot. I look forward to each episode. I love it!! Keep up the great work.
 
2002-03-19 09:51:43 AM
Farkman should fight evil Wil and PeTA guys on a narrow bridge over a pit full of spikes la Mortal Kombat. Farkman knocks the PeTA guys in and they get impaled and die.
 
2002-03-19 10:09:21 AM
How about putting Mytwocents in there somewhere?

*ducks*
 
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