Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Small town officially "declares war" on Satan.   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
•       •       •

7044 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2002 at 11:18 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

240 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-03-17 11:21:27 AM  
They're gonna lose. I always win.
2002-03-17 11:23:18 AM  
Religious fundies are both funny and scary at the same time.
2002-03-17 11:24:18 AM  
I guess the War on Satan may unite with the War on Terrorism if W. gets wind of this. :)
2002-03-17 11:24:28 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-17 11:24:30 AM  
Finally! The Battle between GOOD and EVIL!

God! I've always waited for this moment!
2002-03-17 11:24:31 AM  
So much for seperating church and state...
2002-03-17 11:24:32 AM  
But Satan - is he *all* bad?
2002-03-17 11:25:03 AM  
I don't think, Constitutionally, that they can do this. It'll be overturned in a heartbeat.
2002-03-17 11:29:51 AM  
Brilliant! Why didn't anyone think of this before? You're in for it now, Satan!
2002-03-17 11:30:31 AM  
Scaryduck: If you just take the time to get to know him...... yes.
2002-03-17 11:30:46 AM  
I saw this lady on the Today show I think....nutcase, pure friggin christian-fundie nutcase...she had the proclamation buried face down as well, so that the Devil could read it....
2002-03-17 11:31:36 AM  
And I thought my island was bad.....
2002-03-17 11:31:59 AM  
"All I know is, it couldn't have been Christians who stole them. Christians don't steal," Risher says.

*cough* *cough* Crusades *cough*
2002-03-17 11:34:09 AM  
Of course, if you're a politician in that town who dares point out what a whack job the mayor is, you will instantly be labeled as being "in cahoots with the Devil".
2002-03-17 11:34:21 AM  
"She is less interested in the vagaries of constitutional law. What if someone in her town was, say, a Buddhist who resented her proclamation?

She shrugs. "They don't need to accept the protection," she says."

how much more wrong could this be?
2002-03-17 11:35:23 AM  
Rwg -

I wonder what religion prisoners in Florida happen to be...
2002-03-17 11:36:23 AM  
Considering Satan plays for Buffalo I'm sure he could care less about this.
2002-03-17 11:36:36 AM  
CNN article and video here. Idiots.
2002-03-17 11:40:12 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-17 11:40:22 AM  
It's about time!
2002-03-17 11:40:32 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-17 11:40:40 AM  
Heh, I want to see some GvE actiion now. Have armies of good townsfolk march on the Evil folk army. I can see it now, Evil Army flings fire, Good Army flings holy water. Let the battle begin, "there can be only one!"
2002-03-17 11:42:29 AM  
I grew up in a self-righteous small town like this where religious fervor masked some serious bullshiat. I still get sick when I read about people like this. That atmosphere breeds people who are above the constitution and anything else that doesn't fit their skew. I couldn't even finish the article. I feel for that newly-elected guy. Good luck, pal.

2002-03-17 11:43:58 AM​afe=off& q=good+versus+evil
Look at the first image I get for an image search of "good versus evil": [image from too old to be available]
2002-03-17 11:45:12 AM  
Off course, when you scroll down a bit you get this, the perfect good vs. evil battle: [image from too old to be available]
2002-03-17 11:48:04 AM  
Rwg: Heh. Good one.
2002-03-17 11:48:56 AM  
Could it be that the fine Mayor Rishor is really......SATAN!!!
2002-03-17 11:49:40 AM  

Risher agreed to name a street in the town Follow That Dream Boulevard, but only after checking out the movie to see if it was wholesome.

"It had family values," she decided.

Meanwhile, IMDB has this to say:

Trivia for Follow That Dream (1962)

Singer/songwriter Tom Petty claims that he was first compelled to become a musician after watching Elvis Presley act and sing during the making of this movie.

... and yet she claims this movie is not the work of Satan?

2002-03-17 11:51:54 AM  
Obviously a bogus story. There are no nuts in Florida.
2002-03-17 11:55:19 AM  
Poor Satan has to change his vaction plans now. He was so looking forward to hanging out in a trailer park in Inglis, Florida, with a bunch of toothless morons.
2002-03-17 11:57:39 AM  
Shocking that this story comes from Florida. This freakin state is filled to the brim with whackjobs.
2002-03-17 12:03:45 PM  
I know, I know, it's not a Photoshop thread... but can you BLAME me?! It leaped out and grabbed my brain until I did it.

[image from too old to be available]

I couldn't stop it!
2002-03-17 12:08:22 PM  
Small Town officially declares war on Stan

[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-17 12:10:12 PM  
2002-03-17 12:13:10 PM  
i want to burn that town and everyone in it

ignorant bastards
2002-03-17 12:14:49 PM  
After reading the comments thus far...

first of all, it doesn't sound to me like there ARE any other politicians in the town that could oppose her. waht if there were? like someone else pointed out...would you want to be burned at the stake?

next, christian fundamentalists scare me almost as much as islamic fundamentalists do. seriously. we're talking about people who who jump up in the middle of a service and start speaking in tounges (AOG) I HAVE SEEN IT! people who let themselves be bitten by various snakes because they are sure that god would not let them die? people who bomb abortion clinics, killing innocent people and doctors? all in the name of god? hmmm...wait a minute! this sounds a little like another group of religious zealots that have been in the world news spot light lately...
2002-03-17 12:16:06 PM  
Don't they know you're not supposed to declare war on the Evil-Doer? We will win against Satan's attacks with Moral Superiority™ (a.k.a "hubris").
2002-03-17 12:17:30 PM  
It's OK - this town's women are ugly anyways. No big loss for me!

On to Vegas....
2002-03-17 12:18:06 PM  
"It's good to know that the ultimate battle between good and evil will be fought with rocket launches".
A cookie to whoever knows where that came from.
As a side note:
"Christians don't steal":
The hell, lady? As someone pointed out, the Christians SACKED constantinople (another christian city, but it was eastern orthodox, so I guess it was "ok" at the time).
God, I hate it when these wackos make the rest of us christians look bad... ah well.
2002-03-17 12:18:10 PM  
That there are so many people who can laugh at this is heartening. Who knows... maybe in a couple more centuries this country will be run by intelligent people who make sane choices instead of bible thumping inbreds.
2002-03-17 12:18:24 PM  
Hey, isn't this a followup to an article that appeared on here a while ago?

Furthermore, I think a battle of Good vs. Evil would be a helluva lot cooler if good was represented by a giant Orangutan a la Black and White
2002-03-17 12:24:28 PM  
Yeah, but if Evil is the turtle, we're pretty screwed. I swear that thing is friggen twinked...
2002-03-17 12:25:29 PM  
Does it seem to anyone else as though this article is making fun of thse people?
2002-03-17 12:26:39 PM  
Argh, I can't type...
2002-03-17 12:26:56 PM  
Felgraf: Sluggy Freelance. Hah! After all, where else would you get a demon summoned into your computer, and not be in Redmond?
2002-03-17 12:29:18 PM  
*gives Tellar a cookie* Congrats.
2002-03-17 12:29:57 PM  
Mm. Cookie. Now if only I could trade it for a closed bold tag.
2002-03-17 12:35:37 PM  
Here is the video for this story!
2002-03-17 12:35:53 PM  
yes, i see it as a funny critism as well.

but these people still scare me...but on that note, clowns scare me too and so do those porcelin dolls!
2002-03-17 12:36:28 PM  

From the Aricle:

Why did she say, in a part of the proclamation that raised ACLU eyebrows, that she was "appointed by God to this position of leadership?"
Maybe she spoke her mind because she didn't know God and the U.S. Governmnet had appointed the ACLU's eyebrows as the final arbiters of what people should and shouldn't say...
Displayed 50 of 240 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.