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(Bend.com)   Reproduction chart shows that two cats and their offspring, when allowed to breed for 10 years, will produce 80,399,780 cats. In possibly related news, PuPu platters half price this week   (bend.com) divider line 50
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6403 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2005 at 1:01 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2005-02-20 11:49:55 AM  
[image from grudge-match.com too old to be available]

The Tribble home world had no comment.
 
2005-02-20 01:04:49 PM  
Post more Boobies links so we can start takin' care of business
 
2005-02-20 01:05:09 PM  
Cue Bob Barker.
 
2005-02-20 01:05:18 PM  
Cats suck. Dogs rule. 'Nuff said.
 
2005-02-20 01:05:22 PM  
That's a lot of kittens to kill. Better get busy.
 
2005-02-20 01:05:26 PM  
That's more pussy than even Ron Jeremy can deal with.
 
2005-02-20 01:05:39 PM  
[image from bend.com too old to be available]

Must be the scarf.
 
2005-02-20 01:06:08 PM  
So how long before the first "Senile old lady found dead in filth-encrusted home with 80,399,780 cats" story hits Fark??
 
2005-02-20 01:06:35 PM  
Resulting religious wars, however, will leave the cats with only a single survivor.

[image from galaxies.ca too old to be available]
 
2005-02-20 01:09:03 PM  
Here Kitty Kitty.
 
2005-02-20 01:09:12 PM  
No problem, just find 4,019,989 weird old ladies to give them homes.
 
2005-02-20 01:13:11 PM  
*FAP*FAP*FAP*
one...
*FAP*FAP*FAP*
two...
*FAP*FAP*FAP*
three...
*FAP*FAP*FAP*
four...

/damn, this is hard work...
 
2005-02-20 01:13:56 PM  
[image from tyborg.com too old to be available]

Word.
 
2005-02-20 01:16:19 PM  
2 words

food source
 
2005-02-20 01:19:11 PM  
I can't believe the Boobies wasn't about fapping.
 
2005-02-20 01:19:29 PM  
Yes, our growing Cat Lady surplus is quite a problem. Can stereotypical Koreans eat Cat Ladies, too?
 
2005-02-20 01:19:51 PM  
Sonofabiatch! I guess either i'm going to have to die of exhaustion or Bob Barker has a few years left to take care of things.
 
2005-02-20 01:20:20 PM  
"Its was as if a million kittens cried out as one and were suddenly silenced" - Obi Wan Kenobi
 
2005-02-20 01:22:27 PM  
Cats rule......they're so biatchy.

They can stare at you from across the room and I swear you FEEL it.

I would have to say that is a lot o friggin kitties.
 
2005-02-20 01:22:29 PM  
[image from cnn.com too old to be available]

Help control the pet population! Be sure to have your pets spayed or neutered.
 
2005-02-20 01:22:44 PM  
[image from img.photobucket.com too old to be available]

/not mine
 
2005-02-20 01:23:31 PM  
Ha ha Doran got filterated!!!
 
2005-02-20 01:23:53 PM  
My head asplode.
 
2005-02-20 01:30:27 PM  
Following is a reproduction chart:
Allowing two cats and their offspring to breed for 10 years will produce 80,399,780 cats!
(Statistics from American Humane Association which assumes two litters per year and 2.8 surviving kittens per litter)
X 1st yr: 12
X 2nd yr: 66
X 3rd yr: 382
X 4th yr: 2,201
X 5th: yr: 12,680
X 6th yr: 73,041
X 7th yr: 420,715
X 8th yr: 2,423,316
X 9th yr: 13,968,290
X 10th yr: 80,399,780

A little bit of a logic problem here - cats are not monogamous, so if you start with 100 male cats and 100 female cats in a population, the first year you will have 1200 kittens, but if you neuter 80 of the males the other 20 will still sire nearly the same 1200 kittens. if you manage to neuter 80% of the male kittens, that still leaves 120 to reproduce, et cetra down the chart, with really nothing accomplished.

Methinks that spaying the females would be a more productive (is that the word?) task.
 
2005-02-20 01:32:50 PM  
Ha ha Doran got filterated!!!

(cough)sushi(cough)
 
2005-02-20 01:34:23 PM  
I think the AHA just found out what the little "!" does on a calaculator and had to try it out.
 
2005-02-20 01:40:01 PM  
Interesting bit of trivia: Even though statistically this should be the case, that kind of reproduction doesn't happen in nature. The economist Thomas Malthus wrote about this in a book he published, which in turn was read by a young(ish) Charles Darwin. It was this central problem that primarily led Darwin to th theory of natural selection.

Hooray science.
 
2005-02-20 01:42:43 PM  
The Nip Their Love in the Bud male cat neuter campaign begins Valentines Day, February 14th and continues through March 17th.


1. Could they come up with a crueler name?
2. Why does it end on St. Patrick's day?
 
2005-02-20 01:42:55 PM  
Neurochemist - 2 words: food source


Does this mean you will or won't be ordering Chinese food soon?
 
2005-02-20 01:49:17 PM  
Still wouldn't solve the North Korean hunger problem. Koreans in general won't touch cats. It's like asking a Muslim to eat pork.
 
2005-02-20 01:58:10 PM  
Swiftfox - you are exactly right. In fact, there are many places up in Canada you can go for free spaying, since they acknowledge that's the real problem with overpopulation - not sure about the US.
 
2005-02-20 02:01:09 PM  
The Straight Dope to the rescue.

There's a lot of mitigating circumstances to making a calculation of this type. Cecil has an article where by similar number crunching, he determines that volumewise, the offspring of 52 flies in 1969 would today encompass everything within 10^50 parsecs from earth. For reference, the milky way is 30 parsecs across.
 
2005-02-20 02:01:26 PM  
Interesting bit of trivia: Even though statistically this should be the case, that kind of reproduction doesn't happen in nature.

By "in nature", do you mean out in the wild? Or in real life? Because, sad to say, I've seen this in real life...I once knew one of those "old lady cat collectors", and mother cats mated with sons, brothers with sisters, whatever. When females were in heat (and you could hear the evidence), toms of every description would go into schtupping mode.
 
2005-02-20 02:05:48 PM  
Wow. Bend.com...my hometown. Nice they didn't do anything to embarass me.
 
2005-02-20 02:08:56 PM  
I hate friggin cats. They must have a natural predator out there somewhere that can benefit from that 80 million cat problem.

/don't know how two of the little bastards ended up in my house - I don't remember what I compromised to get that allowed the cats in, but I regret it now.
 
2005-02-20 02:11:45 PM  
[image from joe-ks.com too old to be available]
 
2005-02-20 02:23:59 PM  
screw food source, use em as fuel
 
2005-02-20 02:29:10 PM  
omfg
 
2005-02-20 02:52:23 PM  
Every animal does that. Everything breeds way, way too many offspring to survive. Hence natural selection.
 
2005-02-20 03:02:10 PM  
F(1)=1
F(2)=1
F(n)=F(n-1)+F(n-2) for n>2
/mathie
 
2005-02-20 03:27:10 PM  
nanded For reference, the milky way is 30 parsecs across.

No, it's closer to 30,000 parsecs, but the gist of your point still stands.
 
2005-02-20 03:35:02 PM  
After looking at this for a bit, I think I need some help on the math...

I'm unclear how they got "12" for the first year. If you have two cats, and they have 2x2.8 kittens in a year, that's a total of 7.6 cats. where does 12 come from? And then how do they get 66? Are the kittens all going out and finding other cats to mate with, or are they mating with each other? Either way, I'm having trouble getting 66. If all 12 cats find new partners, then 12 x 2.8 x 2 = 67.2, plus the original 12 = 79.2. And what about the new partners? Or, if they breed with each other, assuming a 50/50 sex ratio, then 6 x 2.8 x 2 = 33.6 plus 12 = 45.6.

Arg, why can't I just relax on Sunday??
 
2005-02-20 03:48:46 PM  
Maybe that's why you get hungry again a half hour after you have some Chinese food. Keeps the population in check.

Yes, I have six cats. Pets for now. I'm a rancher!
 
2005-02-20 04:02:14 PM  
they got 12 becaue they're idiots.
they are starting with 2 females ... and i'm guessing that they are just dumb
... or i am.
or you are ...
... no i think its them.
 
2005-02-20 04:16:10 PM  
I am the bevets of cat articles.

I do not believe in Dog.

Neuter your pets.

Support with $$ any organization in your area that supports:
"Trap, Neuter, Release" programs.

These are effective and long-term solutions for reducing a feral cat population. The neutered and wild cats continue to vie for resources and edge out the intact and breeding females.

Back in the 90's I had an ad in my local paper that made it to "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" "headlines" segment.

"Presidential Special. Male castrations $30 (cats and dogs only)"
 
2005-02-20 04:54:10 PM  
This reminds me of that PETA kitten commercial for the 200x superbowl. Never aired, but it was pretty funny...

Tasteless, but still entertaining

/"Be good kitty"
 
2005-02-20 05:02:09 PM  
InflatableJesus
The Nip Their Love in the Bud male cat neuter campaign begins Valentines Day, February 14th and continues through March 17th.



1. Could they come up with a crueler name?
2. Why does it end on St. Patrick's day?


They are ending on St. Patrick's day because once the cats are taken care of, they are going after the Irish next.

...

Holy crap! I'm part Irish...

/flees to undisclosed location
 
2005-02-20 05:11:42 PM  
[image from detnews.com too old to be available]
Bob says:

"Spay that shiat!"
 
2005-02-20 08:36:33 PM  
I try to kill as many kittens as possible......
 
2005-02-20 11:50:48 PM  
If only compound interest could be THAT good...
 
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