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(BBC)   Deadly underwater gnome garden may have reappeared in England   (news.bbc.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Strange  
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28352 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2005 at 10:47 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2005-02-14 08:58:37 AM  
hehehe!
 
2005-02-14 10:13:51 AM  
1. Drown divers
2. ????
3. Profit
 
2005-02-14 10:24:25 AM  
Its the underpants gnomes.
 
2005-02-14 10:50:16 AM  
Chalk up a point for creative thinkers out-foxing those that would ruin fun for safety's sake.
 
2005-02-14 10:53:19 AM  
Any photos of this garden avalible?
 
2005-02-14 10:53:21 AM  
I'm just picturing all these dead divers surrounding a fenced in gnome garden... That's pretty cool in a creepy sorta way... Like if Cthulhu had garden gnomes.
 
2005-02-14 10:53:32 AM  
Sounds like a nifty basis for a black-humor story
 
2005-02-14 10:53:51 AM  
Cool...
/but perfectly happy above sea level
 
2005-02-14 10:54:36 AM  
Would you dive in a lake named "Wastwater"????

I wouldn't.
 
2005-02-14 10:54:46 AM  
It is stories like this that make me believe that FARK needs a 'WTF?' tag.
 
2005-02-14 10:54:49 AM  
[image from hg.travelocity.com.edgesuite.net too old to be available]

Beware the gnomes!
 
2005-02-14 10:54:55 AM  
that would make the best "how grandpa died" story

"you see billy, grandpa was trying to find the underwater garden where the gnomes were"
 
2005-02-14 10:55:46 AM  
 
2005-02-14 10:56:48 AM  
I've been diving in some pretty cold nasty water but that is only when I absolutely had to (getting paid for it.) I would never go to 150+ feet, in near freezing water and with zero viz looking for a farking gnome garden.
 
2005-02-14 10:57:17 AM  
 
2005-02-14 10:58:56 AM  
[image from cumbria-online.co.uk too old to be available]
 
2005-02-14 11:01:37 AM  
Still waiting for his postcard:

[image from images.amazon.com too old to be available]
 
2005-02-14 11:03:10 AM  
I for one wouldn't be diving in a place called "Wastwater".
 
2005-02-14 11:03:24 AM  
So people are dying over a rumor about garden gnomes?
 
2005-02-14 11:07:36 AM  
"The Gnome" by Syd Barrett:

I want to tell you a story
About a little man, if I can
A gnome named Grimble Grumble
And little gnomes stay in their homes
Eating, sleeping, drinking their wine

He wore a scarlet tunic
A blue green hood, it looked quite good
He had a big adventure
Amidst the grass, fresh air at last
Wining, dining, biding his time

And then one day, hooray
Another way for gnomes to say "hooray"

Look at the sky, look at the river
Isn't it good?
Look at the sky, look at the river
Isn't it good?
Winding, finding places to go

And then one day, hooray
Another way for gnomes to say "hooray, hooray"
 
2005-02-14 11:07:42 AM  
[image from geocities.com too old to be available]
 
2005-02-14 11:08:01 AM  
Frequently dive in Tobermory which has a few ship wrecks at that depth. The thermoclines can produce killer freezy headaches at that depth as the water is within 5 degrees of freezing at its warmest and limited visisbility. The wrecks are cool, I'd imagine cooler then a gnome garden. However before you guys start labeling these guys as Darwin Award winners there is a little something called Nitrogen Narcosis. Can reduce your ability like a little too much of the ol' whisky flask. Thanks to those affect I had to turn a friend the right way up as he thought he was surfacing, towards the bottom, in Cozumel.. fun fun..

/* don't realy have a point..
//* all links pop.. skillz...
///* the gnomes make me burn things..
 
2005-02-14 11:09:41 AM  
So, some idiots die because they ignore safety precautions, so we remove the gnome garden.

With that line of reasoning, since people have died climbing Mt. Everest, we ought to see to its immediate removal.

/dives
//hates unsafe divers
///loves gnomes
 
2005-02-14 11:10:59 AM  
Okay, terrific.

[image from img74.exs.cx too old to be available]
 
2005-02-14 11:13:58 AM  
"As police divers we can't legally dive any deeper so, if it exists, the new garden could have been purposefully put out of our reach."

WTF!?

The LAW says no police diver can go below 50 meters!?

Who would make such a law and for what reason?
 
2005-02-14 11:16:00 AM  
BojanglesPaladin
Now you know where to hide the bodies at least.
 
2005-02-14 11:16:56 AM  
I ran across a similar little display at the end of a a twisty little passegeway, deep in a seldom-visited cave in Kentucky. It's a combination of little gnomes and mud sculptures.

I could never find it again, but I've got a photo around here somewhere.
 
2005-02-14 11:17:29 AM  
Dubsy: there is a little something called Nitrogen Narcosis
Nitrogen narcosis, commonly referred to as "rapture of the deep," typically becomes noticeable at 100 ft underwater and is incapacitating at 300 ft... divers experience an effect comparable to that from one martini on an empty stomach for every 50 ft of depth beyond the initial 100 ft.

"At a depth of about 48m, divers had taken gnomes down and put a picket fence around them."
48m = 157 ft
+ 1 Martini

""But now there's a rumour about a new garden beyond the 50m depth limit."
50 m = 164ft
+ 2 Martini

"Wastwater is about 80m deep,"
80 m = 262ft
+ 3 martini


Hmm... I'm guess its not just gnomes they will see down there...
 
2005-02-14 11:17:33 AM  
kartofelkopf

I wonder if you could drop a body at 49.6m with a giant note (able to be read underwater) that read SCREW YOU COPPER! NAHNAHNAHNAH NAH NAH!
 
2005-02-14 11:18:24 AM  
The LAW says no police diver can go below 50 meters!?

Who would make such a law and for what reason?


Probably not a LAW per se, but a safety restriction. I'm sure there would be exceptions for emergency situations.
 
2005-02-14 11:19:14 AM  
AM txt_eva
Hmm... I'm guess its not just gnomes they will see down there...

You mean Dean Martin wil be down there with the rest of the Bratpack drinking martinis?
 
2005-02-14 11:19:23 AM  
I ran across a similar little display at the end of a a twisty little passegeway

Were the twisty little passageways all alike? Were you eaten by a Grue?
 
2005-02-14 11:19:39 AM  
Nitrogen narcosis, typically becomes noticeable at 100 ft underwater...

BojanglesPaladin:

The LAW says no police diver can go below 50 meters!?

Who would make such a law and for what reason?


50 m = 164 ft So... They would be at the 2 martini level... anyfurther and you'd have "drunk" divers... nto good I guess
 
F42
2005-02-14 11:19:51 AM  
BojanglesPaladin: Who would make such a law and for what reason?


They were probably tired of loosing their precious police divers to the underwater death gnomes.
 
2005-02-14 11:20:46 AM  
I submitted this with a [better/worse/random] headline.
 
2005-02-14 11:22:14 AM  
Note to self: Hide the bodies/evidence below 50m
 
2005-02-14 11:24:23 AM  
"But now there's a rumour about a new garden beyond the 50m depth limit. As police divers we can't legally dive any deeper "

Note to any criminals in the lake region, please dispose of bodies, murder weapons and other potentially damaging evidence below 50m.

/Your honor my client stashed the gun in question at 51m depth; cleary, Officer Asshat was diving below the legal limts when he retrieved it, I move the edivence be supressed and the case dismissed.
 
2005-02-14 11:24:34 AM  
F42

You make a good point. Do you think there a tough cop-diver right now swearing revenge on the Garden gnomes that killed his partner?

You know, he's loadin up his gear, his shark gun, and diving knife and strapping on his tank...
The chief comes in ...

CHIEF: "Stokes! You can't go down there! It's against regulations!
STOKES: "SCREW Regulations! Those little bastards killed Walterman. Now it's Gnome hunting season. I'M going DOWN!"
 
2005-02-14 11:24:54 AM  
txt_eva
"Wastwater is about 80m deep,"
80 m = 262ft
+ 3 martini
Hmm... I'm guess its not just gnomes they will see down there...


Wants to touch the mermaids boobie....
 
2005-02-14 11:25:25 AM  
Bojangles Paladin

WTF!?

The LAW says no police diver can go below 50 meters!?

Who would make such a law and for what reason?


The safety of the divers. Most Pusblic Safety Divers (PSDs) that I know (which is quite a few I help train them) are not equipped or trained for extended range diving (deeper than 130 feet.) Beyond sport diving depths you have a big problem with tissue saturation (high partial pressures of nitrogen can wreak havoc on the human body.) Unless the diver is on trimix (usually a hypoxic mix where helium replaces or supplements nitrogen) there is a major problem with nitrogen narcosis. Nitrogen Narcosis is when you're basically getting stoned from the density of the gas you are breathing under pressure. Not a good thing when you are 150+ feet underwater in 0 viz and the water temp is 38 degrees.

Personally I don't think it should be against the law but any diver who makes a dive like that needs to properly equipped and trained to make the dive. Otherwise it will just be more lives lost and more bodies to recover.
 
2005-02-14 11:25:30 AM  
You mean Dean Martin wil be down there with the rest of the Bratpack drinking martinis?

Dean Martin drinking martinis with Anthony Michael Hall at a 50 ft underwater gnome garden. Now you, sir, you owe me a new keyboard.
 
2005-02-14 11:26:26 AM  
Nitrogen Narcosis- thats freaky. Reminds me of the Hypoxia induced madness most climbers of Everest go through. Making life and death decisions while off your rocker doesn't sound like my idea of a fun time. The "ends of the earth" are quite extreme indeed.

I'm quite happy snorkling, thank you very much.
 
2005-02-14 11:26:50 AM  
SO thats where all my lawn gnomes went!!
Dammit, I was blaming the local hooligans!
 
2005-02-14 11:27:19 AM  
kartofelkopf: Now you know where to hide the bodies at least.

You think you jest. Unfortunately (for him) the 'Lady in the Lake' murderer didn't know that Coniston Water has a 30m deep shelf. If he'd gone out a few metres more the body would be very unlikely to have been found:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/4211495.stm

(o/t - wtf is .stm ?)
 
2005-02-14 11:30:08 AM  
boohiss

Underground everything looks alike, so I sketched a little map on the back of the photo: w-w-n-e-u-e-e-d
 
2005-02-14 11:31:31 AM  
I'm tired of the government trying to protect morons. Just let them die trying to look at the stupid gnomes.

//think astute_ash is very cute and can ride my magic staff any time!
 
2005-02-14 11:31:44 AM  
When I played The Sims, I ran a rather profitable operation having my sims craft and sell gnomes. The drawback to that though was the inevitable gnome induced rage and accompanying mass gnome suicide bombings.

Tragic indeed. There's something about gnomes that brings out the devil in people.
 
2005-02-14 11:33:10 AM  
10 points to Sentient for getting my reference!

Also:
[image from img9.exs.cx too old to be available] + [image from img9.exs.cx too old to be available] + [image from img9.exs.cx too old to be available] + [image from img9.exs.cx too old to be available] = WTF?
 
2005-02-14 11:35:03 AM  
wow...if this is Darwin at work..I dont know what is.....death by hunting garden gnome?...I mean...treasure..I can understand....but..PEOPLE HAVE GARDEN GNOMES ON DRY LAND!....put on your scuba suit and go look at them..
 
nof
2005-02-14 11:39:03 AM  
 
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