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(Some Guy)   Use this site to fax lawmakers a message supporting the therapeutic cloning of Wil Wheaton.   (stemcellfunding.org) divider line 39
    More: Wheaton  
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1944 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2002 at 11:09 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-03-14 11:10:49 AM  
Wil-tastic.
 
2002-03-14 11:12:31 AM  
I fail to see how cloning Wil could be considered therapeutic. Sounds more like torture.
 
2002-03-14 11:12:39 AM  
Screw Wil...

I support the mass cloning of Salma Hyak! One or two for every adult male over 21.
 
2002-03-14 11:12:39 AM  
zzzzzzzz-tastic.
 
2002-03-14 11:14:08 AM  
Can I get my very own Wil clone?
 
2002-03-14 11:16:52 AM  
If you clone them, they will all get into a giant fight when trying to decide who is going to save the crew (and arguably, the universe), and there is going to be mass genocide shortly thereafter.
 
2002-03-14 11:17:36 AM  


"Sir, in a few days, this sector will be filled with Wheatons!"
 
2002-03-14 11:19:18 AM  
I can think of other television personalities I would want a clone of--no offense to Wil.

Jan Smithers circa the 70's from WKRP
Elizabeth Montgomery circa the 70's from Bewitched
Dawn Wells circa whenever Gilligan's Island was on.
Marg Hellenberg from CSI.
 
2002-03-14 11:21:10 AM  
Who cares about this?
What happened to the link about Miss Cleo's birth certificate?
 
2002-03-14 11:21:37 AM  
I made a few changes and had this faxed. Please cut, paste and select the 'Fax' option. We need more of him.


I am writing to voice my support of federal funding of human embryonic stem cell research, as well as for protecting somatic cell nuclear transfer (SCNT), or therapeutic cloning of TV's Wil Wheaton, which may prove to be a vital tool in allowing scientists to fully develop the promise of stem cell research.

As President Bush stated in his address to the nation on August 9, 2001, stem cells derived from embryos have unique potential to improve the lives of those who suffer from devastating diseases and conditions, including juvenile diabetes, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, cancer and spinal cord injury. Additionally, therapeutic cloning of TV's Wil Wheaton research could allow a patient's own genetic material to be used to develop stem cell therapies specifically tailored to that individual's medical condition, thus not triggering an immune rejection response. In other words, using therapeutic cloning of TV's Wil Wheaton could repair patients with their own cells.

Given the scientific potential in this area, I strongly oppose any legislative or regulatory action that would ban research related to therapeutic cloning of TV's Wil Wheaton, including criminalizing the research or the researchers, and prohibiting the importation of therapies derived from therapeutic cloning of TV's Wil Wheaton in other countries.

With the help of the resources of the federal government, researchers hope to translate the promise of embryonic stem cell research into treatments and cures for millions of Americans suffering from devastating diseases. My hope is that researchers will find that the limited number of stem cell lines approved by the President are scientifically sufficient to pursue not only basic research, but also treatments and cures for people suffering from disease. However, if scientists need more cell lines, I ask for your support of legislation that will ensure that these necessary tools are available to researchers so that they can move forward aggressively with this vital research.

The men, women, and children who are suffering from life-threatening diseases are engaged in a race against time. It is our responsibility to make sure that they benefit as quickly as possible from the very best that science and technology has to offer.

I look forward to your support.
 
2002-03-14 11:22:10 AM  
This reminds me of that chat in #fark about going back in time and fellating yourself, except without the time traveling part.

So, to not beat around the bush... who would screw their clone if they had the chance?
 
2002-03-14 11:22:49 AM  
We will send an army of Wheaton's forth to battle.
 
2002-03-14 11:24:34 AM  
just who is Wil Wheaton?
 
2002-03-14 11:25:20 AM  
Give Me A Clone

(Home, Home on the Range)
Oh, give me a clone,
Of my own flesh and bone,
With its Y-chromosome changed to an X.
And when it is grown,
Then my own little clone,
Will be of the opposite sex.

Chorus
Clone, clone of my own,
With your Y-chromosome changed to an X,
And when I'm alone,
With my own little clone,
We will both think of nothing but sex.

Oh, give me a clone,
Is my sorrowful moan,
A clone that is wholly my own.
And if she's an X,
Of the feminine sex,
Oh, what fun we will have when we're prone.

My heart's not of stone,
As I've frequently shown,
When alone with my own little X,
And after we've dined,
I'm sure we will find,
Better incest than Oedipus Rex.

Why should such sex vex,
Or disturb or perplex,
Or induce a disparaging tone.
After all, don't you see,
Since we're both of us are me,
When we're having sex, I'm alone.

And after I'm done,
She'll still have her fun,
For I'll clone myself ere I die.
And this time without fail,
They'll be both of them male,
And they'll each ravish her by and by.

---Issac Asimov
 
2002-03-14 11:31:54 AM  
Just use the replicator, Wil.
 
2002-03-14 11:32:09 AM  
I too support the mass cloning of Salma Hayek. Can I get a side order of Jamyee Ong also?
 
2002-03-14 11:39:23 AM  
Wheatons 1-35 to star in Showtime remake of "Anna to the Infinite Power", with special guest appearance by Wil Wheaton 0.
 
2002-03-14 11:42:39 AM  
have we stopped to consider if this technology might be misused? Imagine if it were used to clone William Shatner instead.
 
2002-03-14 11:45:17 AM  
Shatner vs. Shatner deathmatches.

Da da DA DA DA DAA DA DUN DA DA.

I'll wager 80 quatloos on the one with permed hairpiece.
 
fb-
2002-03-14 12:05:04 PM  
Let me know when the 'fax lawmakers to demand that Wil is euthanized' article comes up.
 
2002-03-14 12:12:29 PM  

a classic from wierd al, back in the day. Or something:


 
2002-03-14 12:13:16 PM  
as a person who has ALS, a fatal neurological disorder, theraputic cloning is probably my only hope of a cure, I think the headline is funny, however faxing this form using wil wheatons name to these people could cause some serious faxes to be missed. Just remember it's all fun and games til someone gets hurt.
 
2002-03-14 12:13:40 PM  
grr, that server sucks. Oh well.
 
2002-03-14 12:41:18 PM  
lame
 
2002-03-14 12:45:31 PM  
Wil Wheaton hasnt been famous since the 80s... hey Wil go get a job.

I hear they have an opening at Taco Bell.
 
2002-03-14 01:16:04 PM  
I think it would be more interesting if we pushed for the cloning of bounty hunter Jango Fett.

Wil doesn't wear enough Mandalorian armor.
 
2002-03-14 01:17:04 PM  
Use the following to support Wil Wheaton's involvement in this technology.

-----
I am writing to voice my support of federal funding of human embryonic stem cell research, as well as for protecting somatic cell nuclear transfer (SCNT), or therapeutic cloning, specifically of Wil Wheaton of Star Trek fame, which may prove to be a vital tool in allowing scientists to fully develop the promise of stem cell research.

As President Bush stated in his address to the nation on August 9, 2001, stem cells derived from embryos have unique potential to improve the lives of those who suffer from devastating diseases and conditions, including juvenile diabetes, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, cancer and spinal cord injury. Additionally, SCNT research could allow a patient's own genetic material to be used to develop stem cell therapies specifically tailored to that individual's medical condition, thus not triggering an immune rejection response. Alternately, by inclusion of the genetic material of Wil Wheaton, we all could gain the benefits of the "Star Trek" lifestyle. In other words, using SCNT could repair patients with their own cells, much like the medical tools of "Star Trek" and other science fiction series.

Given the scientific potential in this area, I strongly oppose any legislative or regulatory action that would ban research related to SCNT, including criminalizing the research or the researchers, and prohibiting the importation of therapies derived from SCNT in other countries.

With the help of the resources of the federal government, researchers hope to translate the promise of embryonic stem cell research into treatments and cures for millions of Americans suffering from devastating diseases. My hope is that researchers will find that the limited number of stem cell lines approved by the President are scientifically sufficient to pursue not only basic research, but also treatments and cures for people suffering from disease. I'm sure if scientists run short of stem cells, Wil Wheaton would be willing to donate adult stem cells or perhaps donate his man-seed to create embryonic stem cells with the millions of female Star Trek fans and Farkers. However, if scientists need more cell lines, I ask for your support of legislation that will ensure that these necessary tools are available to researchers so that they can move forward aggressively with this vital research.

The men, women, and children who are suffering from life-threatening diseases are engaged in a race against time. It is our responsibility to make sure that they benefit as quickly as possible from the very best that science and technology has to offer.

I look forward to your support. So does Wil.
 
2002-03-14 01:32:20 PM  
You goddamn gaylords. I hope this asshead gets hit by a bus.
 
2002-03-14 01:39:09 PM  
Doris Day
(only Canadians will get the joke)
 
2002-03-14 01:45:48 PM  
Okay, I'm the one who submitted this link. Now, for those getting bent out of shape about messing up support for technology, let me say two things:

1. I am fully in support of therapeutic cloning. I, for one, can't wait until organs can be cloned for transplantation purposes along with who knows how many other medical wonders.
2. I'd bet that most politicians run their fax lines straight into their paper shredders. If you REALLY want to affect public policy, sit down and write a letter, then put it in an envelope with a stamp on it and MAIL it to your congressperson. E-mails and other electronic messages are often ignored, especially when recieved en masse, because they're so easily duplicated and copied.

That said, cloning Wil is funny.
 
2002-03-14 01:47:38 PM  
No its not funny in the least.
 
2002-03-14 02:05:33 PM  
And then you too can kill Wesley Crusher in the privacy of your own home.
 
2002-03-14 02:23:08 PM  
Hey DalePickle, go soak your head, asstard.
 
2002-03-14 02:28:16 PM  
I have a better idea. Let's scan his brain into a file, build an emulator to run it in the computer, and create the world's first Max Wil Headroom. This way the original will be immortal. No messy genetics involved.
 
2002-03-14 02:34:46 PM  
Its just I REALLY don't understand the fascination with him. I like the Fark sense of humor 95% of the time, but this Wil thing really boggles my mind.

Its not fun, its not funny.
 
wil [TotalFark]
2002-03-14 02:50:55 PM  
create the world's first Max Wil Headroom

Th-th-th-that's a g-g-gooooo-ggggg good idea.

ach-ach-ach-ach-

Drink Coca-Cola!
 
2002-03-14 02:59:38 PM  
i've done my duty for fark and country...
 
2002-03-14 06:20:38 PM  
no offense to wil, but you guys are farking rediculous with this shizz...

get off the mans d1ck...please!

sessone
 
2002-03-14 10:46:20 PM  
"no offense to wil, but you guys are farking rediculous with this shizz..."

It's called a "running gag." Look it up.
 
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