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(Cosmiverse)   Chewing gum will make you smarter   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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4931 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2002 at 4:26 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

30 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-03-14 06:03:57 PM  
2002-03-14 06:06:19 PM  
This article brought to you by Wrigleys.
2002-03-14 06:06:50 PM  
2002-03-14 06:07:22 PM  
I sent in both this story and the fast music/accident story yesterday, both from New Scientist, both had already been submitted by someone else, but neither was posted. Now today, both get posted? What's the deal?
2002-03-14 06:08:46 PM  
Sucking c0ck makes you smarter too. Oh wait, that's just what I tell my girlfriend.
2002-03-14 06:10:49 PM  
Try some Chewley's Gum. Better than cancer!
2002-03-14 06:14:56 PM  
i guess mensa will be relocating its world headquarters to elizabeth, nj now.
2002-03-14 06:23:25 PM  
So all those people who do nothing but chew gum all day should be really smart then?
2002-03-14 06:26:03 PM  
Djaj: Your error was to submit the stories from New Scientist. Fark considers Cosmiverse to be a far more superior source of hard scientific research! In fact every story from Cosmiverse ends up being posted on Fark for just this reason ;)
2002-03-14 06:38:50 PM  
And to think that back when I was in school soooooooo many years ago that the teachers would give us detention if we chewed gum in class.....if only they knew the truth......

-he who stacks pork
2002-03-14 06:49:54 PM  
Doing butt clenches gave me a 1600 SAT too
2002-03-14 06:52:03 PM  
So that's why I'm a genious!
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-03-14 06:57:09 PM  
yes, we get detentions for chewing gum to, maybe ill start spreading this article around...

yea, one of my guy friends say the cureall panacea is cockinthemouth. everyonce and a while i give in.
2002-03-14 07:09:18 PM  
I wonder if all of the teachers will really give a shiat if you tell them about this article, worth a try though.
2002-03-14 07:29:46 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-14 07:39:34 PM  
So all those beverly hills teen airheads should in actuallity be as farking smart as the rest of us because they chew gum all the time?

sorry. I don't buy it.
2002-03-14 07:51:15 PM  
No one has yet to ask the obvious. Why did they study cognitive function and gum chewing at all? What's next, blonde hair dye and fake boobies as they relate to renal function?
2002-03-14 07:52:44 PM  
How about chewing tobacco? Baseball players must be really smart! What about people who just eat a lot? If increased heart rate is the key, wouldn't a little mild exercise do the trick as well? How about looking at boobies? Strip clubs must be another well of Einsteinian intellect, right after baseball dugouts and malls full of slack jawed, glassy eyed, gum popping teenage dolts.... I mean Mensa candidates!
2002-03-14 07:54:33 PM  
Everyone knows smoking makes you smarter.
2002-03-14 08:00:38 PM  
yes, and girls who play clarinet in high school turn out to be better cock suckers...
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-03-14 08:12:19 PM  
i play the jaw harp
2002-03-14 08:22:24 PM  
Come on Kat...that's just cruel.
2002-03-14 08:29:31 PM  
And the number of Blonde haired Gum Chewing female CEO's are?
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-03-14 08:40:11 PM  
n, really he jaw harp, the jews harp? the crazy boingy thing snoopy plays. im a wiz on it. Now, if you were thinking skin flutes, well ive had a go on them before too
2002-03-14 08:44:16 PM  
jew's harp

[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-14 09:32:08 PM  
Additionlly, wearing big hoop earrings and having bleached blonde hair makes you more stupid by a magnititude of 10, so residents of N.J. need not worry about their girlfriends being smarter than they are.
2002-03-14 09:54:13 PM  
I've got gum on my shoe, does that count?
2002-03-14 10:05:57 PM  
I'm guessing Flo wasn't in the control group...
2002-03-14 10:11:11 PM  
WTH is all this Cosmiverse on Fark lately. Suck ass crapola.
2002-03-14 11:04:20 PM  
If this is true then all the American kids would be smarter then everybody else since they are the ones chewing the highest amount of gum, but it actually the foreigners that don't know that gum exist, they are the smart ones....hmmmmmm
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