Jeez.... soon they'll confine him to a coffin.

"that's professor Hawk, shoobidy doobidy doo"

because he has kept the status quo for many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many years.

"...I feel like dancing!"

Just keep on telling yourself 1 more year, 1 more year!

Hahahahahahahahahah.

They keep electing him because they are suckers. If they are stupid enough to vote for him, they deserve him.

Because he wants what all good southern rednecks want, segregation...

Figure this out. You can anagram "stromthurmond" into "north dorm smut".

OH MY GOD!!!



DIE ALREADY!!


jeez

Does he still advertise for that tele-zapper thingy?

He'll be voting on bills with that monkey telepathy thing.

The fact they keep electing this racist hick back into office just proves that the south should be wiped clean and start all over again.

i guess they keep electing this guy because he keeps saying he's not dead yet...and apparently thats enough.

A wheelchair for "roll calls"? Heheh...

Not a big Strom fan, but once you hit 99, you gotta stick around for that extra year.

MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
--- more ---DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]
--- more ---CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right.

Weekend at Thurmonds?

If he dies then "the south shall rise again" and he will arise. Damn, I'm sorry, I just wanted to work a "the south shall rise again" joke in here:\

Let's see some nekkid chicks, Thurmond is going to disintegrate into dust soon, anyway.

He and Reagan died years ago, these guuys are really holograms

You know that saying "only the good die young"?

He's living farking proof of that saying...evil, evil spacker.

Jeez, why the preoccupation with his death? If you guys want him dead so badly, why don't you go kill him yourself?

If the people of South Cakalaka want to elect a 99-year-old, that's their problem. I approved of Missouri electing a dead man rather than Ashcroft, Thurmond's condition is marginally better.

Racist old men say the darnest things!

DIE DIE DIE!!!


Good grief man, selling your soul to the devil obviously gives you a long life. Or else Satan doesn't want him in Hell anytime soon.

Damn, the "Weeekend at Thurmonds" reference has already been used. Do ya think he's just Strom Thurmond's body hollowed out with a highly payed midget puppeteer inside? I think think it's very possible.


Doesn't he look like he's been dipped in some sort of formaldyhide base. He looks all lacquered up to me...damn that midget must be making some money!-wmz

He's like Lassie, there are eighteen Stroms and they just keep recyclin them as they die out

"Several South Carolinians who were in Washington for the annual National League of Cities conference dropped by the senator's office Monday to pay their respects."

huh...maybe he is dead.

"He still has a good handshake and is a character. But he's not real strong. He was there. But you can tell that things are starting to catch up with him."

...like THE ANGEL OF DEATH.

He ran for President in the 40's. I guess when your old, we younger people have the right finsh you off at our whim. We are the world you know. No one was here before us. No one will be here after us. Our generation is the Alpha and Omega. Doesn't it feel good to always be right?

This is what I found scariest about that article: he's not as active as he was SIX MONTHS AGO, when he was nearly declared dead! I swear, any less active, he'd be moving backward.

And I enjoyed this irony: Walkman, making a joke about a wheelchair being used for "roll" call.... :o)

Let me clear a few things up for you people:

We are not all racists.
We are not all in the Klan.
Most of us have all our teeth.
Most of our IQs cannot be counted on one hand(or two).
We do not all live in trailer parks.
We are sober most of the time.
We do not all chew tobacco.
Most of us can speak proper English.
Almost all of us can read and write.
Our family trees do fork.
There is nothing wrong with liking NASCAR (in my opinion).
We are not all in the NRA.
Not all of us will condemn you to hell for not being one particular brand of Baptist.
Not all of us like professional wrestling.
We do have civilization down here.
Not all of us are fat and/or lazy.
We don't get much snow down here so don't be suprised when we start to overreact.
We know how to use computers(The Fark admins and I are proof).
Most of us won't eat anything that was killed by a motorized vehicle.
You have little right to biatch if you have never even been here before, much less lived here.
Drew and company are from the South (Kentucky).
We are intelligent human beings (there are exceptions to every rule so cram it!).
We have no plans to secede from the Union again(although some people make it a very tempting idea).

Dogbone, not LAST respects...but perhaps the penultimate respects....

"We were delighted to see Senator Thurmond," said Howard Duvall...

But not to smell him... wooh! Get some SURE geriatric strenth! And remember to tell nursie when you have to go whizzers!

"Strom, hurry up and get here already!"

"Not all of us like professional wrestling."

You say that like liking professional wrestling is a BAD thing.

Folks:
He lives beyond the grace of God, a wanderer in the outer darkness. He is undead, nosferatu, vampyr. These do not die, like a bee after the first sting, but grow strong once infected with the blood of another vampyr.
-- Van Helsing

Actually, he's a lich, so get used to having him around, and never, under any circumstances, look him directly in the eye or shake his chill and bony hand.

I wanna see him nekkid!

Strom Thurmond, the Captain Christopher Pike of politicians.

I used to work for a forensic reconstruction company and they had a picture there of a guy that hung himself and nobody noticed for 2 weeks. Strom Thurmond looks just like that.

But if he goes ahead and dies, then SC will have an extra voice in the Senate. It will likely be conscious and not senile.

CANT HAVE THAT.

Someone please esplain how he can stand up but remain seated at the same time!?!?!?


"He stood up when we walked in, but remained seated at his desk. He warmly received our group. [They] wanted to have their pictures taken with the senator and he agreed. But he was extremely frail."

I'm confused...

Strom is being punished, like Dracula, by God. Or those segreationists/neo nazis have devised a formula that allows you to age slower....

Well damn, I see somebody already beat me to the Noferatu/Dracula theory.

"Most of our IQs cannot be counted on one hand(or two)." Uhhhh... does that mean that one hand has too many fingers?

<img src="http://a1482.g.akamai.net/7/1482/2597/0001/www.southparkstudios.com/img/c ontent/characters/62a.gif"
Strommmmyy!!!

Strommmmyy!!!