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(   Deadbeat dad agrees to stop having sex until he can pay $33,000 in child support   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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4188 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2002 at 11:15 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

72 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-03-13 11:17:21 AM  
whack whack whack whack
2002-03-13 11:17:34 AM  
great... now there will be lots of dead kittens all over the place...
2002-03-13 11:17:54 AM  
Oh, the atrocities! All of those dead kittens.
2002-03-13 11:18:47 AM  
For want of 20 seconds, CynThetiQ, I would have been the kitten-killing-remarker-person!
2002-03-13 11:20:26 AM  
:) now all I have to do is secure a spot for the fast finger contest on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
2002-03-13 11:21:13 AM  
"If probation conducts a routine visit, and he is found to be in the act so to speak with another person, that would be a violation," Cobb said.

Getting another woman pregnant would be solid proof that Crawford had sex, and would result in his being sent to prison for a probation violation.
This sounds like it'd be easy to avoid, doesn't it? But I'll bet that this idiot gets caught (20:1 odds) or has another kid (3:1 odds) within a year.
2002-03-13 11:21:15 AM  
great use of the [image from too old to be available] tag.
2002-03-13 11:25:05 AM  
"I feel I should be able to continue having intercourse with a woman by protection, but not cut off."

Then I can think of something else they can cut off that will solve the problem all together.
2002-03-13 11:25:18 AM  
Yeah right.........

This guy is a looser, BTW. Poor kids :(
2002-03-13 11:26:06 AM  
Fifty year-old half-blind deadbeat unemployed guy from Kentucky has a dozen trailer queens shiatting out bastards.


I need a shower. With steel wool.
2002-03-13 11:29:22 AM  
Crawford said that he hasn't been able to pay his child support because he's blind in one eye and has glaucoma in the other, suffers from heart problems and has damaged tendons in his wrist.

This decision isn't going to help the tendons in his wrist any.
2002-03-13 11:30:38 AM  
It reminds me of that joke about the mother with 12 kids named "Leroy" and when she want just one of the she uses his last name.

Scary Movie:
Shorty Your Momma
Brenda You're my brother, she's your mother too.
Shorty: Your Father then.
Brenda: I don't know him.
And then something else.
2002-03-13 11:30:58 AM  
Ben_r: That slice of prose rivalled Faulkner. Seriously, you should write. I'd buy it.
2002-03-13 11:31:15 AM  
"The Po-Leese say I cain't have no sex. But the guvmint they say oral ain't sex. I gots to axe somebody 'bout that."
2002-03-13 11:31:18 AM  
Is there some kind of ancle bracelet that they can put on him?
2002-03-13 11:32:07 AM  
Let the dozen kids move in with him and his girlfriend - that'll enforce the no sex rule
2002-03-13 11:34:18 AM  
Excuse me but this guy is 50, has probably been having sex for 35 years more or less. That's one kid every 3 years. It is pretty easy to get behind in support with even a few kids, given that the government often wants 50% of the gross. That figure could represent a year or two's worth of support accrued over ten or twenty years. He may be an idiot, but the government is usually worse than that in these cases.
2002-03-13 11:35:32 AM  
Can the court order him to be sterilized?
2002-03-13 11:37:45 AM  
Why doesn't the guy simply get married - that'll ensure plenty of time in the dry dock for Mr. P.P. Stick... Nothing like a band of gold to effectively accomplish this...
2002-03-13 11:38:05 AM  
When the cops are away, the d1ck will play . . .
2002-03-13 11:39:34 AM  
Is he using Clinton's definition of sexual relations?
2002-03-13 11:39:46 AM  
Charlie Brown: I don't think it will reach to his ankle, but you never know.
2002-03-13 11:40:47 AM  
What's 50% of $0.00, Klofkorn?
2002-03-13 11:49:48 AM  
i know that the courts have ordered child molesters to be castrated and that seems to be the only deterant for "those" people and i wish they would do that in this case but they won't because that would be inhumane...i just keep thinking how inhumane it will be for those 12 children to go up bereft and with out a father. i'd be intrested to see what they become. something makes me doubt they will be beneficial to society. i don't know maybe one or two will make it. without a father somewhere in the picture who cares and provides somekind of support kids don't have much chance.
2002-03-13 11:52:11 AM  
and how exactly are they going to enforce this?
2002-03-13 11:52:19 AM  
Fenester LMAO
2002-03-13 11:55:44 AM  
This is a stuck-between-Scylla-and-Charybdis situation: You need a license to drive a car, but any jerkwad can have kids. But then, on the other hand, something like this starts to violate civil rights, and can be seen as Step One into Nazi eugenics-land...

My mom's a New York City schoolteacher. She knows.
2002-03-13 11:55:50 AM  
Thanks Kungfugirl. I feel sorry for the kids too.
2002-03-13 11:58:42 AM  
Have the parole officer slip him some Viagra then come over for a visit. When the officer catches him in the act he can simply force him to go back to work cuz' those wrist tendons seem to be working pretty well.
2002-03-13 12:01:30 PM  
Well, in this case the punishment might not be that cruel since it's a decision; prison time for breaking the law, or castration (which would probably be chemical castration). Of course, this could result in a slippery-slope problem; much like organ transplanting in Larry Niven's books.
2002-03-13 12:02:54 PM  
loser...asshole...dickhead...worthless piece of shiat

ok...I'm done...
2002-03-13 12:04:20 PM  
Why aren't all you "pro-choice" people crying foul? His "right to choose" not to pay support has been violated.
2002-03-13 12:04:30 PM  
Just another example of the white man
keeping the black man down.
2002-03-13 12:05:49 PM  
He can keep it up, he just can't put it anywhere.
2002-03-13 12:05:57 PM  
BTW, you all know that statistically, people with less education have more children, right?

The world is truly growing stupider.
2002-03-13 12:06:11 PM  
thats a great idea!
2002-03-13 12:08:53 PM  
Damn. I was hoping it was my brother.
2002-03-13 12:14:45 PM  
Wonder if this guy considered donating sperm to make the money to pay his child support.
2002-03-13 12:16:13 PM  
"Crawford said that he hasn't been able to pay his child support because he's blind in one eye and has glaucoma in the other, suffers from heart problems and has damaged tendons in his wrist."

And yet with those problems he's getting laid left and right ? Thank god the secret has been revealed; illness. Maybe if I catch the Ebola virus , it will be non-stop orgies !

"....was given the choice of abstaining from sex or facing one to five years in the penitentiary."

Abstaining or else going to the penitentiary . Isn't there MORE sex going on in prison than outside it ? This guy seems like such a horndog maybe he should opt for prison.....
2002-03-13 12:16:42 PM  
I can imagine what the "mothers" of his spawn must look like. Did you see his picture? Just goes to show you what
some women will go through for an orgasm. If they were
that lucky(?) Cheese'n'rice I'm starting to give myself
the heebee jeebees just thinking about this.Ewwwwww....

This guy gonna be whipping his skippy for some time.
2002-03-13 12:18:51 PM  
I owe $30,000.00 in back child support....and you know what the sad thing is? I have still averaged $1,500.00 per month in payments! (I am supposed to pay $2500.00 p/month)

I fark my brains out though...
2002-03-13 12:37:01 PM  
He's literally "Blind in one eye, and can't see out of the other" How does he find these women, by smell?

Furthermore what KIND of a woman considers him a catch?
2002-03-13 12:40:47 PM  
I wonder how many of his offspring be up in prison. What a winner.
2002-03-13 12:48:18 PM  
Yeah, but think about it. If he goes to prison, he can have all the sex he wants.. . . with the male inmates.
2002-03-13 12:50:48 PM  
OmahaBeef: Well, if the women he's shtupping are anything like what I think they are, you just might be right.
2002-03-13 12:57:30 PM  
Skinink said:
Abstaining or else going to the penitentiary . Isn't there MORE sex going on in prison than outside it ?

Yeah, but no pesky child support issues. Although maybe some palimony ones.....
2002-03-13 12:57:59 PM  
2002-03-13 12:59:03 PM  
snip snip...done
2002-03-13 01:05:26 PM  
I don't understand why he doesn't simply 'rough up the suspect and beat out a confession' everytime he's sporting wood. You've got to blow out the pipes to have any rational thought. Once he's dropped gob and is toeing the drain, he can settle back with some pizza, beer and cable. It's cheaper, easier and there's plenty of room in the bed.
2002-03-13 01:06:32 PM  
"It is pretty easy to get behind in support with even a few kids, given that the government often wants 50% of the gross."

Show me one state that requires 50% of gross.....

Deadbeat dads really piss me off....
Children are a lifetime commitment and their needs should come before the needs of the parents.
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