"4l1 h4pPy F4rK3r5 4rE 41ik3; 3V3rY uNH4pPy f4rK3r 1S unH4ppY 1n H15 0wNED! w4y. loll!!l11!!!"
-- C0unt Le0 T015+0y

I hold it true, what'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have hit it and lost,
Than never to have hit it at all.


//apologies to the great Alfred Lord Tennyson

Ive got the need...the need for Fb!

Ooh, I'm dallashockey69, I need to criticize everything that doesn't fit with my pseudo-rebel, moronic, self-centered viewpoint of the world, Ooh.

Didn't see the first shark for about half an hour - a tiger - thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups...the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin'. Sometimes the shark go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya, right into your eyes. Y'know, the thing about a shark, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes after ya, he doesn't seem to be livin' until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then - aww, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin', the ocean turns red, and in spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and rip ya to pieces...in that first dawn, we lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I don't know how many men. They averaged six an hour...Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us...and he come in low and three hours later, a big fat PBY [seaplane] comes down and start to pick us up. You know, that was the time I was most frightened - waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a life jacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for

I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the UFIA

"I am tired of fapping. Our kittens are killed. The Glass Dragon is dead. Walken is dead. The Icy Hot Stuntaz are all dead. It is the young men who say, 'Dumbass' or 'Ironic.' He who led the young men [Wheaton} is dead. It is cold, and there is still cure for cancer. The Boobies thread is Farked to death. My people, some of them, have run away to Florida, and have no SbB Girls, no Bullz-Eye. No one knows where they are perhaps it's a trap. I want to have time to look for my ugly ass animal babies, and see how many of them I can find. Maybe I shall find them among the NSFW. Hear me, my chiefs; I am tired. I would hit it like Mike Tyson. From where the sun now stands I will fap no more forever. France surrenders"
Chief Joseph

There is 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back....

Where there's a Wil Wheaton, there's a way.

"Your ass is grass and I'd hit it."

All the Farkers make baby dallashockey69 cry.

"Bill Clinton- "I did not have sexual relations with that TPS Report!!!"

/Boobies be gentile :)and what in gods name is UFIA???

"If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on it, STFU."
- The Wolf

They can have my UFIA when they pry it from my cold dead a$$.

I have a dream, and its not safe for work.

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: I'd hit it.

do movie quotes count?
napoleon dynamite:

"I caught you a delicious squirrel with huge nuts"

"it puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the UFIA again..."

Greenbeanx: I've never heard of UFIA before..what does it mean?

U ndilating
F orensic
I nhibiter
A lgorythem

Oops, didn't put voting on

"Don't worry, noone dies in this movie, they just get really big boobies" -George of the Jungle

"I'd like a martini, shaken- You know what? RTFA."

Greenbeanx: I've never heard of UFIA before..what does it mean?


Ok. I'll be nice.
UFIA (pops)

pwnership is 9/10ths of the law.

-got nuthin.

A woman without a UFIA is like a fish without boobies.

"Those that can, quote. Those that can't: dallashockey69"

"To FAP, or not to FAP? that is the question: Still no cure for cancer"
- Hamlet

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? Here comes the science."

--From Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

"Having solved all other problems, we choose to go to the moon." - JFK

"What is happiness? The feeling that power increases - that resistance is futile."

- Nietzsche

"The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial element in the large centers has Pwned the government ever since the days of Andrew Jackson"

- FDR

(Both of mine are kinda lame, but I'm late to the party as per usual.)

"Six bucks and my left nut says we don't land in Farkistan."
-John Candy ("Planes, Trains and Automobiles")

"Dude, you're getting a UFIA"
-Ben Curtis, the Dell guy

Cowards die many times before their deaths; Weird Al Yankovic's parents never taste of death but once..

-Shakespeare

It is better to give than recive a hot cocoa sampler box.

I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if a million kittens suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

Because I'm too sick to think of anything better:

"Bill Nye the Here Comes the Science Guy"

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be pwned"
- Einstein

oh so late.

If my vote meant anything, roesti would win.

Considering this is a .45 magnum, the most poweful handgun in the world, and could blow your head clean off, you have to ask yourself one question, did he RTFA or not? In all this confusion I forgot myself. So, do you feel lucky? Well, do you dallashockey69?