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(AP)   How to dodge the draft: Sour cream in hair, liqueur in shoes, smoke 40 cigarettes in closet and don't sleep for 48 hours before the physical   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 212
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45364 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2005 at 11:06 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-02-03 11:07:16 AM  
this got greenlighted?

meh
 
2005-02-03 11:07:20 AM  
done and .....done
 
2005-02-03 11:07:43 AM  
Draft dodging sucks

/i'm teh frist
 
2005-02-03 11:08:32 AM  
I'll have to remember that trick.
 
2005-02-03 11:08:39 AM  
liqueur? I hardly even know heur

/funnier than the headline and speeled just as goodly
 
2005-02-03 11:09:20 AM  
How to avoid the draft

Step 1: Don't move to Norway?
 
2005-02-03 11:09:58 AM  
draft? what draft? The nice President says there won't be a draft..so there won't. Right??
 
2005-02-03 11:10:26 AM  
I'm surprised his medical license didn't get yanked. If he was mentally unfit to serve in the military, how on earth could he be fit to practice?
 
2005-02-03 11:10:52 AM  
How to avoid the draft in a different country:

Step 1) Say you have teh gay.

/next
 
2005-02-03 11:11:51 AM  
National Service - Coming to a warmongering country near you!
 
2005-02-03 11:11:55 AM  
And the political fear-mongering continues to get the green light.
 
2005-02-03 11:12:50 AM  
What draft?
 
2005-02-03 11:12:50 AM  
Or, you could enlist and then get your rich daddy to bail you out by convincing the CO that you are very badly needed to help run a political campaign, then 30 years later you can insult and harass people for serving and speaking out against the war that they fought in and now disagree with, which you dodged because you're an upper-class cowardly farkface.

/getting arrested by the secret service for that comment.
 
2005-02-03 11:12:52 AM  
And there won't be a draft. I'll bet anyone here a hundred dollars that there won't be a draft within the rest of Bush's presidency. Congress doesn't want it, He doesn't want it, and the people sure as hell don't want it.
 
2005-02-03 11:13:48 AM  
"It is well known that the information a patient gives his doctor seldom is based on reality"

Wait, so doctors aren't taking us seriously?
 
2005-02-03 11:14:15 AM  
Here come the democrats whining about a non-existant draft in the USA. Maybe, before they do that, they could check their facts and see exactly who proposed it, and what party he belongs to? (Hint: left side of aisle).
 
2005-02-03 11:14:19 AM  
IM Life Like -

Help! I just became a TotalFarkette and not sure what the deal is with TF. Are the articles in green the ones that are also in Fark? Does Fark just pick articles from TotalFark that have responses? It seems like there are a lot of headlines in TF with 0 responses.

What's the dealio? Sorry to be a buzz kill with a serious question and all.
 
2005-02-03 11:14:49 AM  
The tough-talking chickenhawk Ted Nugent did something similar, so he could avoid fighting in Vietnam, and talk about kicking peoples asses for the next 30+ years.

HEY TED, YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!
 
2005-02-03 11:15:01 AM  
Dumbass. He could have pulled it off if they hadn't checked his real job and figured out he was a DOCTOR.

That's a hell of a lot of trouble to avoid a military refresher course.
 
2005-02-03 11:16:03 AM  
ProbieGirl Ixnay on the Ightlay. Green ones are indeed ones being sent to Fark, Red are ones passed over.
 
2005-02-03 11:16:43 AM  
"Critch

And there won't be a draft. I'll bet anyone here a hundred dollars that there won't be a draft within the rest of Bush's presidency. Congress doesn't want it, He doesn't want it, and the people sure as hell don't want it. "

It's not a matter of anyone wanting to draft people. It's a matter if say North Korea were to invade South Korea, or something like that. We are stretched too thin to handle combat operations in two theaters at the same time with the way things are going in Iraq.
 
2005-02-03 11:17:11 AM  
moops

I think Ted Nugent may legitimately be insane.
 
2005-02-03 11:17:19 AM  
It must suck being a successful document.write( and having everything fall apart on you ;-)

/RTFA
 
2005-02-03 11:17:45 AM  
"I... I wanna kill."

-Imp
 
2005-02-03 11:17:54 AM  
Norway, not the U.S. RTFA.

This guy is a dumbass. He gets away with it, then brags to a newspaper about it. Even though he didn't give his name, with details like sour cream in the hair, it couldn't have taken more than 30 seconds to put 2 and 2 together.
 
2005-02-03 11:18:05 AM  
1- drink a lot of beer
2- have sex with someone of your own sex and take pictures
3- get out of the draft ("Profit!")
 
2005-02-03 11:18:05 AM  
probiegirl: What's the dealio?
welcome to the real world, Neo.

TF has dozens more linkety goodness and the admins decide which get dumped to regular Fark. Black are undecided, red are no and green are what's going to Fark. Check the FarQ.

Glad you're on board.

I'm not a stalker but I'll be in Vegas sometime soon, maybe we can set up a Fark party just because.
 
2005-02-03 11:18:16 AM  
moops:

The tough-talking chickenhawk Ted Nugent did something similar, so he could avoid fighting in Vietnam, and talk about kicking peoples asses for the next 30+ years.

HEY TED, YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!



Yeah but Ted shoots animals with high-powered rifles, he is manly.
 
2005-02-03 11:18:50 AM  
More like "snoreway"
 
2005-02-03 11:19:21 AM  
Valdemiro -

**winks knowingly** Gotcha!
 
2005-02-03 11:19:41 AM  
Okay, I'll go ahead and get it started off right.

Critch:

There are quite a few people who want a draft. Most democrats want a draft, and they want the people who get drafted to be killed in combat. Then the Vietnam, quagmire, blah blah will follow.
 
2005-02-03 11:19:58 AM  
IcarusIscariot


Or, you could enlist and then get your rich daddy to bail you out by convincing the CO that you are very badly needed to help run a political campaign, then 30 years later you can insult and harass people for serving and speaking out against the war that they fought in and now disagree with, which you dodged because you're an upper-class cowardly farkface.


You are a pathetic crybaby. Want a tissue, you sore loser?
 
2005-02-03 11:20:10 AM  
That's what we on Fark call Saturday night.
 
2005-02-03 11:20:11 AM  
probiegirl: Are the articles in green the ones that are also in Fark?

Yes.

Does Fark just pick articles from TotalFark that have responses?

Not always.
 
2005-02-03 11:20:12 AM  
 
2005-02-03 11:20:43 AM  
heh, if there is a draft in the US the population of homosexual americans will increase by 10^9
 
2005-02-03 11:20:51 AM  
The simplest way to avoid the draft is to volunteer.

As a rule you get to pick what service you enter, and if you are not inclinded to shoot people, you can get an MOS that will put you far away enough from the action that you won't have to face the dilemma.

Be advised: if you enjoy your current situation and the situation your friends and family live in, or at least the possibility that it could be made better through the democratic process, and you aren't inclinded to at least pull the trigger in self-defense, you need to seriously consider what's wrong with you.

--h
 
2005-02-03 11:21:38 AM  
moops:

The tough-talking chickenhawk Ted Nugent did something similar, so he could avoid fighting in Vietnam, and talk about kicking peoples asses for the next 30+ years.

You'll often find that the loudest "alpha males" in a group are also the ones most likely to turn into complete pussies when they're faced with actually having to fight.

So it is with the Nuge, who was/is probably the shrillest, most obnoxious alpha wannabe.
 
2005-02-03 11:22:27 AM  
One more thing, Republicans don't care about the people in Iraq. They just want the political benefits of winning there. Kind of like the Democrats do with minorities.

Do I win now?
 
2005-02-03 11:23:23 AM  
Nugent an interesting figure. I am a big fan of his philosophy of moving past the comfort of denial. Killing your own food, with a rifle or with your bare hands is a prime example. A lot of people who are not really cool with killing cute wittle calves eat beef every day because they never see what went into it. You should be aware that your choices have consequences whether you see them or not, and you are responsable for them. Strangely, Nugent [indirectly through this philosophy] talked me into buying my Prius. And I never thanked him.
 
2005-02-03 11:23:46 AM  
 
2005-02-03 11:24:01 AM  
Geeker026

heh, if there is a draft in the US the population of homosexual americans will increase by 10^9

That's not even counting the rapid growth in homosexual Canadians with American accents.
 
2005-02-03 11:24:32 AM  
NikolaiFarkoff wins!
 
2005-02-03 11:24:46 AM  
tonyargento: It's not a matter of anyone wanting to draft people. It's a matter if say North Korea were to invade South Korea, or something like that.

North Korea will do no such thing (it just doesn't have the capability). Look out for a China-Taiwan conflict though. I give it ten years tops before Beijing makes a land grab.
 
2005-02-03 11:24:55 AM  
he spilled Draught Beer on his clothes
/get it
 
2005-02-03 11:26:42 AM  
Anyone remember the song "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie?

I wanna KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL!
 
2005-02-03 11:28:17 AM  
NikolaiFarkoff

So true, and you owe me a new keyboard
 
2005-02-03 11:28:48 AM  
dfenstrate


IcarusIscariot


Or, you could enlist and then get your rich daddy to bail you out by convincing the CO that you are very badly needed to help run a political campaign, then 30 years later you can insult and harass people for serving and speaking out against the war that they fought in and now disagree with, which you dodged because you're an upper-class cowardly farkface.

You are a pathetic crybaby. Want a tissue, you sore loser?



Hate to burst your bubble asshat, but I live in Canada so I lost nothing - you're the one stuck with Dubya, you lose. Perhaps you should come down with a serious case of STFU and go back to fapping to pictures of Tucker Carlson and Ann Coulter.

/right-wing nutjobs, can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em in the face.
 
2005-02-03 11:28:49 AM  
2005-02-03 11:19:41 AM paygun


Okay, I'll go ahead and get it started off right.

Critch:

There are quite a few people who want a draft. Most democrats want a draft, and they want the people who get drafted to be killed in combat. Then the Vietnam, quagmire, blah blah will follow.



Uh, except for the fact that tons of people have already been killed in combat, the draft is already happening (stop loss, recalling retired servicepeople, etc.) and Iraq is ten times the quagmire that Vietnam was.

So was this just more divorced-from-reality Democrat bashing, or were you being sarcastic?
 
2005-02-03 11:28:59 AM  
The Norwegian Army? Is it pretty much a mindless drunken waste of time to begin with? I mean the most dangerous part of that has got to be slipping and falling down drunk while moving reindeer roadkill out of the way.
 
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