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(WFTV Orlando)   Citizens Against Nude Juicebars?   (wftv.com) divider line 111
    More: Asinine  
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12957 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2005 at 5:51 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-02-02 02:31:22 PM
There are nude juice bars?
 
2005-02-02 02:36:24 PM
If I'm not mistaken, in New York at least, the law requires that bottomless strip clubs not serve alcohol. Topless bars still can. The full-nude bars serve juice. Love juice. And in copious quantities. Love juice? What am I even talking about. All that really matters is that no matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champagne room.
 
2005-02-02 02:38:57 PM
Oh, and this really amused me:

"... Rieger seized on a loophole in the law that allows nudity in such places movie theaters ..."

When I first read that I thought it said Reubens, not Rieger. Heh.

/get it?
 
2005-02-02 02:41:26 PM
CANJB

/Worst acronym ever.
 
2005-02-02 02:45:17 PM
Let's form a "Citizens Against Citizens Against Nude Juicebars" club on fark.

/CACANJ - better acronym
 
2005-02-02 02:55:55 PM
What kind of "juice" do they serve??
 
2005-02-02 03:01:20 PM
Usually $8 Cokes.
 
2005-02-02 03:05:20 PM
Now the county is drawing up a new ordinance that would require his dancers to wear pasties and G-strings. And a state senator plans to push for a similar state law.

Why do people have to be such uptight prudes? Who are they trying to impress?
 
2005-02-02 03:12:36 PM
C.A.N. Juice?

Hawaiian Punch anyone?
 
2005-02-02 03:15:32 PM
McCook County State's Attorney Roger Gerlach says the proposed ordinance is not an attempt to put him out of business: "As long as they have some opaque clothing over the crucial parts of the human body, they can dance all they want."

Oh noes, women have vaginas and nipples. We must legislate to deal with this grave, morally threatenening, smooth, supple... decadent....

What was I saying again?
 
2005-02-02 03:25:17 PM
About dang time! We can't have no juicebars walking around with no clothes on. Immoral, that.

/old woman
 
2005-02-02 03:34:27 PM
It's all fun and games until someone gets a meaty smoothie.
 
2005-02-02 03:45:01 PM
Hopefully a study will soon come out saying self-righteous asshattery causes cancer. Geez, don't these people have anything else to do but worry about what somebody else is doing?
 
2005-02-02 03:49:39 PM
And here I thought that republicans stood for a free marketplace.
 
2005-02-02 03:55:12 PM
Phew! I saw the WFTV and was wondering why no Florida tag... I'm finally relieved to live in this state.
 
2005-02-02 06:01:52 PM
Yes, yes, this is all well and good but there hasn't been a Boobies link on regular Fark in nearly 3 full days! Where is the justice? Where is the love???

Furthermore, ultrafabulous sucks at counting. (hint: scroll up and look left)
 
2005-02-02 06:02:20 PM
Everytime I see that station's name "WFTV", I keep seeing "WTF". And with stories like this, it's probably not a bad name for it.
 
2005-02-02 06:03:20 PM
and to think, they could have avoided all this attention by just giving him a liquor license and letting him open a bar like he wanted to...
 
2005-02-02 06:03:41 PM
i'll have a cran-apple-gina juice, plz

/hold the cran
//hold the apple
 
2005-02-02 06:04:18 PM
How about "Citizen Against Ugly Naked People"? Now that's a movement we can all get behind. Crap, did I just say that?
 
2005-02-02 06:04:28 PM
SafariShane, I'll join!

/boycotting fully-clothed juice bars
 
2005-02-02 06:05:03 PM
I guess the personals chick can't count. Or is that her bit?
 
2005-02-02 06:05:19 PM
Clamato Surrenders...

 
2005-02-02 06:05:22 PM
I love how Republicans claim to be all for free enterprise until you have a business model of which they do not approve on "moral" grounds.
 
2005-02-02 06:08:35 PM
I really dont see the point in going to these places anyway. I equate it to my wife wanting to take me shopping when I know we have no extra money in the account. Get all excited looking at something that you can't have anyway.

Seems like self-torture more than anything else. What purpose does it serve?

/not saying the government should be allowed to keep these places closed
//society itself should set it's standards of decency
 
2005-02-02 06:08:56 PM
pete?
 
2005-02-02 06:11:05 PM
"harassment" ??? Her ass meant nothing to me

eh, need new jokes
 
2005-02-02 06:11:24 PM
jst3p
I really dont see the point in going to these places anyway.

you go and look at naked ladies. and they are naked. and ladies. and if you pay them extra they will pretend to like you and pay attention to you. and they are naked. and ladies.
 
2005-02-02 06:11:35 PM
Maybe there's hope yet for my nude Mexican food stand idea after all..

/gotta love the taco
 
2005-02-02 06:13:28 PM
Clamato surrenders!

Bwahahahahahahahhahahahah! High-larious
 
2005-02-02 06:13:35 PM
specman - there's good naked and bad naked - you figure this one out
 
2005-02-02 06:13:54 PM
OK, how about an all-nude church? Lap dances after the collection plate is passed around?
 
2005-02-02 06:14:56 PM
You'd think at some point people would realize their own idiocy.

Oh wait....



/me pictures the masses running and screaming, the cities burning, etc.



nevermind.
 
2005-02-02 06:15:02 PM
mryoop789: What kind of "juice" do they serve??

Any kind of juice you would mix with hard liquor, which patrons are usually allowed to bring in.

And if Maxine Pulse wants to get her panties in a bunch about men drinking and urinating in the parking lot and dancers coming to the door nude, then she should call the police about the open container, public urination, and public nudity problem, not the legal business.
 
2005-02-02 06:15:25 PM
"you go and look at naked ladies. and they are naked. and ladies. and if you pay them extra they will pretend to like you and pay attention to you. and they are naked. and ladies."

OK, maybe I should rephrase :P

I don't see the benefit. Besides, don't your wives/girfriends get upset when you go?
 
2005-02-02 06:16:26 PM
STRIPPERS?!
 
2005-02-02 06:16:37 PM
I'm going to be the founder of Citizens against People Who Have Nothing Better To Do Than Fcuk With Other People In An Effort to Make Themselves Look Better to Zillions of People who Don't Give A Fcuk.

.
 
2005-02-02 06:17:23 PM
"Maybe there's hope yet for my nude Mexican food stand idea after all.."

Please, for the love of god, keep your chimichangas covered up. OK?

Flashbacks of Lou Costello dressed up at the roadside taco cart in "Mexican Hay Ride"
 
2005-02-02 06:18:38 PM
No shortage of xtian 'tards in the world trying to make life less fun......
 
2005-02-02 06:19:21 PM
I think they (and most other protesting organizations need to go under one category)

Citizens Under No Trauma Still Ultimately Needing Infinite Time Expressing Drivel

I'll leave you all to build the acronym yourselves.
 
2005-02-02 06:19:56 PM
I live 15 miles from this place, and I've been to the bar in question a couple times, but around here people get so worked up over it, it's front page news at least once a month. We even had one guy who drove his tractor into the front of it in some sort of attempt to detroy the building or scare the owner into closing, didn't work. but it proves that people have nothing better to do in this state. The owner's a pretty nice guy too, just trying to make a living off the area college kids who can't get into real strip clubs.
 
2005-02-02 06:21:39 PM
No shortage of xtian 'tards in the world trying to make life less fun......

While in this case you are accurate, I would like to point out that there are PLENTY of non Christian tards making this planet an annoying place to be as well.
 
ksd
2005-02-02 06:23:26 PM
jst3p:

"OK, maybe I should rephrase :P

I don't see the benefit. Besides, don't your wives/girfriends get upset when you go?"

Not if you have a cool wife/girlfriend. My wife's take on it is, and I quote: "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you come home for dinner."

She actually likes it when I work up an, um, "appetite."
 
2005-02-02 06:23:36 PM
Yellowbeard:

I love how Republicans claim to be all for free enterprise until you have a business model of which they do not approve on "moral" grounds.

I also like how they're afraid of "special interest" groups determining the laws of their land, unless its their 15-member crusade against hot, unbridled, nutritious lust.

/but to be fair, there is no mention of Republicans in the article. Let's just call it an educated guess.
 
2005-02-02 06:23:57 PM
yeah but, where do I put the dollar bills?
 
2005-02-02 06:24:09 PM
The 5 items I can't live without: "Nude juice bars."
 
2005-02-02 06:24:13 PM
specman

Maybe there's hope yet for my nude Mexican food stand idea after all..



No banana stand?

/Arrested Development surrenders...
 
2005-02-02 06:25:58 PM
Absolutely against it.

Let them serve LIQUOR, damn it!
 
2005-02-02 06:27:58 PM
Not if you have a cool wife/girlfriend. My wife's take on it is, and I quote: "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you come home for dinner."

She actually likes it when I work up an, um, "appetite."


Guess I am lucky in that I don't have to look at another woman to work up an "appetite"....

But whatever works for you is fine by me.
 
2005-02-02 06:29:10 PM
I didn't mean that as smug as it sounds. My apologies.
 
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