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(Some Guy)   Curt Schilling announces that he will pitch on custom-made crutches on opening day   ( divider line
    More: Hero  
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27095 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2005 at 1:45 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

91 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2005-01-20 09:04:36 AM  
Uh, hero? That's a satire site.
2005-01-20 09:05:49 AM  
Wow, that's unbelievably unfunny.

Good call on the greenlight...
2005-01-20 09:08:36 AM  
Oh this should be good.
2005-01-20 09:10:52 AM  
*supresses giggles*
2005-01-20 09:16:24 AM  
I hope he dies.
2005-01-20 09:27:44 AM  
Needs more cowbell satire tag.
2005-01-20 09:35:41 AM  
I'm surprised they didn't show a picture of the crutches. They're pretty cool, actually, move like sleeves than crutches, worn under the uniform. Think Barry Bonds' elbow guard and you get the general idea. Wonder if MLB will have anything to say on this ...
2005-01-20 09:36:36 AM  
2005-01-20 09:35:41 AM NakedReporta

Wonder if MLB will have anything to say on this ...

Well, considering it's not true, probably not much.
2005-01-20 09:46:47 AM  
Poll Reveals Red Sox Fans Will Be Sensitive and Delicate in Verbal Exchanges with Heartbroken Yankee Fans During Season
2005-01-20 09:49:56 AM  
I'm just wondering how many games the Yankees have to lose before Mother Teresa (Torre) gets fired.

/go Sox
2005-01-20 10:13:55 AM  
let's see if the idiot local sports radio guys pick up on this. i'm willing to bet plenty do.
2005-01-20 10:50:38 AM  
sigdiamond, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...
2005-01-20 10:53:18 AM  
I'm a Sox fan and even I don't think this should have been greenlighted.
2005-01-20 11:06:45 AM is stupid. But not as stupid as the people who take their articles seriously.

/Sox fan
2005-01-20 01:50:27 PM  
I also heard that for the first Red Sox/Yankees game a specialist in the Heimlich manouver will be on hand in case any of the Yankees choke ...
2005-01-20 01:51:55 PM  
what an original headline
2005-01-20 01:54:25 PM  
what MuckSP said.

though, being a lowly liter i don't really know what was passed over in favor of this. big meh all around.
2005-01-20 01:54:41 PM  
i've yet to see one article from this site that could be considered funny. why the greenlight constantly?
2005-01-20 01:54:47 PM  
Randy is a Yankee now, and therefore I hate him, Schilling said straightforwardly.

Good enough reason for me too!
2005-01-20 01:58:28 PM  
Another greenlight for this page? WOW. Check out for some decent satire.
2005-01-20 01:59:01 PM  
I'm not sure if sports and satire mix that well.

/just MHO
2005-01-20 01:59:04 PM  
Just got an urge to listen to "Major Tom". Go figure.
2005-01-20 01:59:16 PM  
uh, not funny


Why does everyone think they are as funny as me?
2005-01-20 01:59:49 PM  
How do Bostonians feel about Schill rooting against the Pats as they go for their second ever Superbowl win?
2005-01-20 02:00:42 PM  
Schilling don't need no stinking crutches. He's a robosapien.
2005-01-20 02:01:41 PM  
Terrible job if it is satire. Satire has to be preposterous. This "news" is feasible. Cease-and-desist letters begin in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...
2005-01-20 02:03:06 PM  
the second pats superbowl was nice. i'm looking forward to the third, myself.
2005-01-20 02:03:21 PM  

How do Bostonians feel about Schill rooting against the Pats as they go for their second ever Superbowl win?

After what he did for Boston in the Playoffs and World Series ... he can root for anyone he damn pleases ... in the offseason.

Come April ... he better be rootin' all Boston though!
2005-01-20 02:03:56 PM  
"How do Bostonians feel about Schill rooting against the Pats as they go for their second ever Superbowl win?"

Well, can't be any worse than when he campaigned for Dubya. Besides, he's a person, not our State Representative. Short of Curt coming out and saying he was a member of NAMBLA, I couldn't care less about his personal beliefs / convictions. Just help the Sox win another WS.

2005-01-20 02:05:46 PM  

How do Bostonians feel about Schill rooting against the Pats as they go for their second ever Superbowl win?

Since it's their THRID Superbowl win, I'm totally indifferent. Take 10 seconds to NOT bash Boston sports and get your facts right. Spin again.
2005-01-20 02:08:09 PM  
Isn't this against baseball rules in some way? I want to pitch in the big leagues with a giant net stretching from first base to third base...
2005-01-20 02:08:13 PM  
And, yes I do mean SECOND ever Superbowl win.

I will go to my grave believing there are still three seconds left on the clock in the Rams-Pats Superbowl.

Look at the game tape, when Vinatierri's go ahead kick hits the net, there are still three seconds on the clock. Then some asshat hits the confetti cannon, and all of a sudden the game is over. WTF?!?

So, until the Rams get a chance at returning the kickoff, this game is most definately NOT over.

PS. Just checking, a bunch of backass farkwads here in STL went apeshiat when Keith Tkachoke was rooting for the Sawcks in the Series.
2005-01-20 02:12:46 PM  
Are you sure this story is true? I heard they were going to use a tee-ball setup when Schilling was on the mound, and then because of that, the Big Unit had to pitch underhand.

hoaXOrZ r tEh fUnnAY
2005-01-20 02:16:24 PM  
geez, TL. at least the pats actually made that kick. see championship, AFC; 1987.
2005-01-20 02:17:42 PM  
Why not hook his arm up to an electric pitching machine, while they're at it...
2005-01-20 02:18:06 PM  
I think he will have a hard time convincing MLB to let him use the crutches while playing.

I am sure MLB will let him warm up with them, but they will probably make him leave the crutches in the dugout.

2005-01-20 02:19:03 PM  

Even assuming your 3-years-later conspiracy theory is true, don't you think if there was an issue with the clock, that the Rams, the NFL, or one of the millions of people watching would have said something at the time? Especially maybe the RAMS?
2005-01-20 02:21:41 PM  
Yankees suck. That website sucks. = much better

Long live the curse of A-Fraud and the Juice Guys, the worst team money can buy.
2005-01-20 02:22:04 PM  
I saw the Hero tag followed by Schilling's name, and figured he had found and defused the dirty bomb from yesterday's news.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered he's a hero for doing the job he's paid millions of dollars to do.

I think Schilling is a great ball player and I like him personally, but maybe submitter should get his nose out of Schill's ass?
2005-01-20 02:22:14 PM  
BIBLE spouting farkwad -

Boston turncoat sack of garbage
2005-01-20 02:23:19 PM  
You're really whiny about three seconds? Wow. And people call me bitter because I still biatch about Hue Hollins' BS foul call on Pippen during the Bulls-Knicks series in '94 that screwed over a Pippen-led title.


2005-01-20 02:24:18 PM  
Uhm, believe it all you want, but the game clock is not on the scoreboard, it's on the scorekeepers'/referees'/whoever's official game clock. The Hugh-Freaking-Time-Display-Clock-Thingy is for the fans, not for official score keeping.

*rolls eyes*
2005-01-20 02:25:48 PM  
hahahahahahah... riiiiighhtttt

Johnson (as always) will make Boston and Schilling his biatch.
2005-01-20 02:25:57 PM  
"I read it on

and thats good enough for me."

/kinda obscure
2005-01-20 02:27:38 PM  

I also heard that for the first Red Sox/Yankees game a specialist in the Heimlich manouver will be on hand in case any of the Yankees choke ...

Well when you see something firsthand for the better part of a century, you are bound to start emulating it.
2005-01-20 02:33:08 PM  
april 3rd 2005 all your dreams of a repeat are over.

randy johnson
2005-01-20 02:37:12 PM  
The Visa commercial featuring Steinbrenner's strained arm was funnier.
2005-01-20 02:38:57 PM  
Even if it were true, he Schilling still has nothing on this guy

[image from too old to be available]
2005-01-20 02:40:49 PM  
Um... Riiiiiiiiight
2005-01-20 02:41:08 PM  
hero? he's a freakin' baseball player.
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