This is because they're wrong.
/go birth control

I bet one of the Bishops ownes a monopoly on pearl necklaces and is traying to saturate the market.

As long as that includes sprayin' like a sprinkler and her rubbing it in lustfully, I'm okay with that

The 'ol M.O.P. method (Master Of Pullout)

/acronymic pun intended

Thank God we're enlightened.

Damn... just when I thought one of them might be thinking independently and critically about an issue...

Ah well... hopefully people will know better... nah.

/damnit all to hell

When will this silly sect just go away?

they prefer the rythym bingo method. no rythym? BINGO!

anyone else see the chart earlier on teen birth rates...

thanks pope, just what we needed. asshat.

Money shots for everyone!

I thought spanish catholics just used the backdoor

God hates relgious people. Especially Christians/Catholics.

annointment was never the same again

And right back into the dark ages...

Dammit PCLL, I wanted to say something like, "On the counsel of Monsenior North" or some such shiat.

Condoms are for people who have sex. Catholics don't do that sort of thing.

ATM - you know what I
m talking about.

that's pretty cool that the Catholic church likes it when you paint the map of hawaii on your loved one's tummy.

TheAnvil: ATM - you know what I
m talking about.

I wish I did. A splain?

Just in case you didn't RTFA, nowhere in the article does it recommend pulling out. Remember, that's onanism.

The whole point in Catholocism can be summed up rather simply: you use sperm for making babies.

That means no oral sex either. No titfarking or anal.

And, technically, no sex with someone you're not planning on having a baby with.

However, "just say no" is notorious for its ineffectiveness against drugs, sex, and, oh, just about anything.

I guarantee if you launched an ad campaign "Brussel Sprouts: JUST SAY NO" the sale of Brussel Sprouts would actually go up.

Sorry folks. RTFA, it says nothing about pulling out. I still don't understand why having protected sex with someone who may have aids is the problem, when having unwed sex is the more serious sin. Just don't have sex with people you are not married to.

/Notice I said people
//A mormon

Every spem is sacred, except the ones that don't make it!

Onan the Barbarian?

Thank you Captain Obviouses for letting us know they don't mean pulling out is okay.

I think we're used to the structure of Fark headlines by now.

/Jeez

HaywoodJablonski
ATM = arse to mouf

You have to do it while saying "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPLELLS YOU!" over and over

BigBabyJesus: HaywoodJablonski
ATM = arse to mouf

*barf*

2005-01-19 06:08:48 PM
NikolaiFarkoff


If Turkish Press is a newspaper, and French Press is a weighlifting exercise, then what do you call those mini-carafes that make coffee?

Under the new Homeland security act, they will be referred to as freedom presses

Deathalicious:

However, "just say no" is notorious for its ineffectiveness against drugs, sex, and, oh, just about anything.

I'd add that it wasn't particulary successful in the last election either.

That's what Onan thought....and we all know what happened to him, right?

Deathalicious

Every sperm is sacred...

/former catholic

Can we discuss Mormanism instead?

The Catholics are really wary of the Mormons.

exick: It was a joke dillweeds!

This is why I might actually buy into TotalFark - to cut down on the fark-ignorant quotient

wait... you mean Farkers just make up parts of the headline? In effect, you are saying that you are all FARKING LIARS?!

/Thats a venial sin!
//mmmmmm, venial, when the venial is nice and lean.....
///wow, I think I just grossed myself out

So...is 'spanishbukkake.com' available? How about 'catholicmoneyshot.com'?

article: "The data that the employee was the ground water and the surface water mixture."

ummm, what...?

Maybe they meant "cojones" instead of "condones."

2005-01-19 06:10:47 PM Deathalicious

Yep. I went to Catholic school for a few years and they actually did a "sex ed" class. They told us that it was wrong to masturbate because it was a selfish act. Also, as you said, sex/sperm is for making babies. Maybe if some of them priests would take matters into hand, the altar boys would be safer...

2005-01-19 06:15:28 PM
UncleBuck4U


Can we discuss Mormanism instead?

The Catholics are really wary of the Mormons.

Besides some realy weird stuff they do, Ive found them to be among the most polite people I have ever met. Catholics on the other hand have big virgin of mary stickers on the rear window, and give me the finger after they cut me off.

hotnerdychick:

article: "The data that the employee was the ground water and the surface water mixture."

ummm, what...?


I swear to god this was the right thread when I posted it.

/hangs head in shame

"The whole point in Catholocism can be summed up rather simply: you use sperm for making babies.

That means no oral sex either. No titfarking or anal."


Not exactly true. A Catholic friend of mine says that the sperm just has to end up in the vagina. What you do with your wife up until that point is up to the two of you.

Mormons rock the house.
Catholics wear the blouse.

Kickstart UF: So...is 'spanishbukkake.com' available? How about 'catholicmoneyshot.com'?

I would say...but knowing the catholic church this would be more in order...altarboysgonewild.com

I recind that I used in the comments of the previous story.

rodeofrog



I dunno, Mormons got some strange duds...

Oh uh..

Here come the religion bashers who are mad because they said something so evil as "The best way to stop AIDS is to not sleep around".

Religious bastards!

Cody