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(Turkish Press)   Spain's Catholic Church says it never condoned the use of condoms, recommends pullin' out porno-style   (turkishpress.com) divider line 138
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9302 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2005 at 6:00 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-19 06:02:51 PM
This is because they're wrong.
/go birth control
 
2005-01-19 06:02:56 PM
I bet one of the Bishops ownes a monopoly on pearl necklaces and is traying to saturate the market.
 
2005-01-19 06:03:10 PM
As long as that includes sprayin' like a sprinkler and her rubbing it in lustfully, I'm okay with that
 
2005-01-19 06:03:26 PM
The 'ol M.O.P. method (Master Of Pullout)

/acronymic pun intended
 
2005-01-19 06:05:27 PM
Thank God we're enlightened.
 
2005-01-19 06:05:49 PM
Damn... just when I thought one of them might be thinking independently and critically about an issue...

Ah well... hopefully people will know better... nah.

/damnit all to hell
 
2005-01-19 06:06:05 PM
When will this silly sect just go away?
 
2005-01-19 06:06:22 PM
Peter North moves to Spain.
 
2005-01-19 06:06:48 PM
they prefer the rythym bingo method. no rythym? BINGO!

anyone else see the chart earlier on teen birth rates...

thanks pope, just what we needed. asshat.
 
2005-01-19 06:07:09 PM
Money shots for everyone!
 
2005-01-19 06:07:14 PM
I thought spanish catholics just used the backdoor
 
2005-01-19 06:08:09 PM
God hates relgious people. Especially Christians/Catholics.
 
2005-01-19 06:08:48 PM
If Turkish Press is a newspaper, and French Press is a weighlifting exercise, then what do you call those mini-carafes that make coffee?
 
2005-01-19 06:09:32 PM
annointment was never the same again
 
sib
2005-01-19 06:09:40 PM
And right back into the dark ages...
 
2005-01-19 06:09:45 PM
Dammit PCLL, I wanted to say something like, "On the counsel of Monsenior North" or some such shiat.
 
2005-01-19 06:09:46 PM
Condoms are for people who have sex. Catholics don't do that sort of thing.
 
2005-01-19 06:10:00 PM
ATM - you know what I
m talking about.
 
2005-01-19 06:10:12 PM
that's pretty cool that the Catholic church likes it when you paint the map of hawaii on your loved one's tummy.
 
2005-01-19 06:10:39 PM
TheAnvil: ATM - you know what I
m talking about.


I wish I did. A splain?
 
2005-01-19 06:10:47 PM
Just in case you didn't RTFA, nowhere in the article does it recommend pulling out. Remember, that's onanism.

The whole point in Catholocism can be summed up rather simply: you use sperm for making babies.

That means no oral sex either. No titfarking or anal.

And, technically, no sex with someone you're not planning on having a baby with.

However, "just say no" is notorious for its ineffectiveness against drugs, sex, and, oh, just about anything.

I guarantee if you launched an ad campaign "Brussel Sprouts: JUST SAY NO" the sale of Brussel Sprouts would actually go up.
 
2005-01-19 06:10:49 PM
Sorry folks. RTFA, it says nothing about pulling out. I still don't understand why having protected sex with someone who may have aids is the problem, when having unwed sex is the more serious sin. Just don't have sex with people you are not married to.

/Notice I said people
//A mormon
 
2005-01-19 06:11:19 PM
Every spem is sacred, except the ones that don't make it!

 
2005-01-19 06:11:21 PM
Duh. Where do you think the term "pull out and pray" came from?
 
2005-01-19 06:11:24 PM
Onan the Barbarian?
 
2005-01-19 06:12:21 PM
Thank you Captain Obviouses for letting us know they don't mean pulling out is okay.

I think we're used to the structure of Fark headlines by now.

/Jeez
 
2005-01-19 06:12:50 PM
HaywoodJablonski
ATM = arse to mouf
 
2005-01-19 06:13:00 PM
Just in case you didn't RTFA, nowhere in the article does it recommend pulling out.

Sorry folks. RTFA, it says nothing about pulling out.


It was a joke dillweeds!
 
2005-01-19 06:13:05 PM
You have to do it while saying "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPLELLS YOU!" over and over
 
2005-01-19 06:13:13 PM
BigBabyJesus: HaywoodJablonski
ATM = arse to mouf


*barf*
 
2005-01-19 06:13:26 PM
2005-01-19 06:08:48 PM
NikolaiFarkoff


If Turkish Press is a newspaper, and French Press is a weighlifting exercise, then what do you call those mini-carafes that make coffee?


Under the new Homeland security act, they will be referred to as freedom presses
 
2005-01-19 06:13:59 PM
Deathalicious:

However, "just say no" is notorious for its ineffectiveness against drugs, sex, and, oh, just about anything.

I'd add that it wasn't particulary successful in the last election either.
 
2005-01-19 06:14:08 PM
That's what Onan thought....and we all know what happened to him, right?
 
2005-01-19 06:14:29 PM
Deathalicious

Every sperm is sacred...

/former catholic
 
2005-01-19 06:15:28 PM
Can we discuss Mormanism instead?

The Catholics are really wary of the Mormons.
 
2005-01-19 06:15:50 PM
exick: It was a joke dillweeds!

This is why I might actually buy into TotalFark - to cut down on the fark-ignorant quotient
 
2005-01-19 06:16:12 PM
wait... you mean Farkers just make up parts of the headline? In effect, you are saying that you are all FARKING LIARS?!

/Thats a venial sin!
//mmmmmm, venial, when the venial is nice and lean.....
///wow, I think I just grossed myself out
 
2005-01-19 06:16:44 PM
So...is 'spanishbukkake.com' available? How about 'catholicmoneyshot.com'?
 
2005-01-19 06:17:15 PM
article: "The data that the employee was the ground water and the surface water mixture."

ummm, what...?
 
2005-01-19 06:17:42 PM
Maybe they meant "cojones" instead of "condones."
 
2005-01-19 06:17:43 PM
2005-01-19 06:10:47 PM Deathalicious

Yep. I went to Catholic school for a few years and they actually did a "sex ed" class. They told us that it was wrong to masturbate because it was a selfish act. Also, as you said, sex/sperm is for making babies. Maybe if some of them priests would take matters into hand, the altar boys would be safer...
 
2005-01-19 06:17:51 PM
2005-01-19 06:15:28 PM
UncleBuck4U


Can we discuss Mormanism instead?

The Catholics are really wary of the Mormons.


Besides some realy weird stuff they do, Ive found them to be among the most polite people I have ever met. Catholics on the other hand have big virgin of mary stickers on the rear window, and give me the finger after they cut me off.
 
2005-01-19 06:18:01 PM

"Excuse me, what's the story behind this pending paternity suit against you?"


"Oh, that's not a case at all. The woman's a stone-face liar. Let's not even talk about that. I pulled out of her really early on that one. Sorry, thanks for coming."
 
2005-01-19 06:18:44 PM
hotnerdychick:

article: "The data that the employee was the ground water and the surface water mixture."

ummm, what...?



I swear to god this was the right thread when I posted it.

/hangs head in shame
 
2005-01-19 06:18:59 PM
"The whole point in Catholocism can be summed up rather simply: you use sperm for making babies.

That means no oral sex either. No titfarking or anal."


Not exactly true. A Catholic friend of mine says that the sperm just has to end up in the vagina. What you do with your wife up until that point is up to the two of you.
 
2005-01-19 06:20:23 PM
Mormons rock the house.
Catholics wear the blouse.
 
2005-01-19 06:20:27 PM
Kickstart UF: So...is 'spanishbukkake.com' available? How about 'catholicmoneyshot.com'?

I would say...but knowing the catholic church this would be more in order...altarboysgonewild.com
 
2005-01-19 06:22:21 PM
I recind that I used in the comments of the previous story.
 
2005-01-19 06:22:59 PM
rodeofrog



I dunno, Mormons got some strange duds...
 
2005-01-19 06:23:43 PM
Oh uh..

Here come the religion bashers who are mad because they said something so evil as "The best way to stop AIDS is to not sleep around".

Religious bastards!

Cody
 
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