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(   President Bush declares war on masturbation   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

20952 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2002 at 4:27 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

200 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-03-08 04:28:54 PM  
That site blows.
2002-03-08 04:30:11 PM  
2002-03-08 04:30:37 PM  
2002-03-08 04:30:41 PM  
If you don't stroke with us, you stroke against us.
2002-03-08 04:31:16 PM  
2002-03-08 04:31:25 PM  
Everytime you masturbate, God kills.......
2002-03-08 04:31:49 PM  
Let the Hystaria begin
2002-03-08 04:32:43 PM  
"She swallowed my babies!"
2002-03-08 04:32:57 PM  
Medical science proves that chronic masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.

Anyone else think the font on that site was too small and blurry? What? No?
2002-03-08 04:33:44 PM  
For a split-second, I thought it was god...
2002-03-08 04:33:46 PM  
Uh.... that isn't so its not funny
2002-03-08 04:33:55 PM  
">p>Myth: But everyone's doing it!
Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't masturbate."

yea, but the other 95% were telling the truth....

2002-03-08 04:34:00 PM  
Why did I come in here? damn this mouse is heavy.
2002-03-08 04:34:25 PM  
Pocket Pinball.
2002-03-08 04:34:45 PM  
"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great..."
2002-03-08 04:35:16 PM  
ashlee mclaughlin swallowed my babies.
2002-03-08 04:35:28 PM  
Being the briliant person I am, I neglected to notice that it was, not .gov. But seconds before I stormed out the front door armed with a shotgun, I realized my mistake. Thankfully the gun is back under the bed and Bush isnt quite as bad as I thought.....ok maybe he is but still.....
2002-03-08 04:35:51 PM  

03-08-02 04:31:25 PM Rickard0"Everytime you masturbate, God kills......."

If that were true..... none of you would be here.....TRUST me.

2002-03-08 04:37:02 PM  
Man, first all the YellowTimes posts, then the "Ashcroft is Insane" article, now this.

What kind of liberal jerky is running Fark this week? If I wanted left-wing bs I'd have stayed at!
2002-03-08 04:37:19 PM  
Hmm, I saw that exact same list of Myths and Realities on a satire anti-masturbation Christian site
2002-03-08 04:37:41 PM  
man... who ever did this site has kinda sick sense of humor...anyone see this one??
2002-03-08 04:37:44 PM  
France surrenders.
2002-03-08 04:38:16 PM  
I'm just like you, Anablepophobia, except I was armed with two dildos and a porno mag.
2002-03-08 04:39:37 PM  
We've put up with all of Bush's other crap, but this simply goes too far.
2002-03-08 04:39:47 PM  
Wasn't that once a porn site?

Or so I've heard.
2002-03-08 04:40:24 PM  
Satire. Satire, retard.

And never a funny site. Ever.
2002-03-08 04:40:45 PM  
I was scared when I thought that was real for a sec there...
2002-03-08 04:41:03 PM = pr0n = satire = real

There will be a test on this later.
2002-03-08 04:41:05 PM  
Quick, Somebody send this link to FOX News.
2002-03-08 04:42:08 PM  
...When they pry it from my cold dead hand!
2002-03-08 04:42:41 PM  
You can take my masturbation away when you pry it from my cold, sticky hands.

Now excuse me, I need to go shave my palms. It takes awhile since my eyesight's not what it used to be.
2002-03-08 04:44:12 PM  
At least shaving palms is easier than shaving balls (see yesterday's fark link)...
2002-03-08 04:44:22 PM  
This = not real.
2002-03-08 04:45:20 PM  
If you people would read the article, Bush plans on providing hookers and prostitutes to all those people without some sort of farkmeat.

"Who's your favorite New Kid? Call me Donnie."
2002-03-08 04:47:21 PM  
Damn you Frogstomper!
2002-03-08 04:48:10 PM  
Yeah, masturbation's never funny. Ever.

I know, let's take a poll!

[ ] Funny

[ ] Not Funny Ever
2002-03-08 04:48:45 PM  
Nice to see Americans for Purity's content move off Geoshiatties.

"9. Have you caught your child Masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he's probably Masturbating."

2002-03-08 04:50:22 PM  
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
2002-03-08 04:50:56 PM  
Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!

oh yeah...oh yeah....oh oh oh OH OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
2002-03-08 04:51:03 PM  
I wonder if this means that I may have to give up my toys....I'll just buy from the Black Market, for I cannot fathom the thought of losing my toys.
2002-03-08 04:51:25 PM  

*shakes head*
2002-03-08 04:51:32 PM  
Not funny ever? C'mon, that infographic showing "Crime" directly correlated with "Masturbation", with peaks at Carter and Clinton... that's pretty funny.
2002-03-08 04:51:37 PM  
Did anybody else notice Ouchy the Clown in the graphics?
2002-03-08 04:52:22 PM  
2002-03-08 04:52:53 PM  
Is this Ashcroft's home page? Oh, wait, not crazy enough. Sorry for the confusion folks...
2002-03-08 04:53:18 PM  
Sorry Diogenes.

Mr. Winces is not happy about this!
2002-03-08 04:54:00 PM  
When masturbation is outlawed..... Only outlaws will masturbate. Whhhhak! Whhhhak!
2002-03-08 04:54:05 PM  
I am laughing my ass off Lordargent
2002-03-08 04:54:29 PM  
Rita If you need, I will be your toy!!!
2002-03-08 04:55:26 PM  
you're laughing now maybe but one day, one day the world will be pure again!!!
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