Random fact: The kid who played Flick (Scotty Schwartz) has continued his illustrious acting career. He is now a porn star. Link goes to IMDB for proof (SFW).

I guess that tongue healed up, eh?

2005-01-19 04:14:27 AM Wolf Nipple Chips

I guess that tongue healed up, eh?

Boo-urns.

Flick? Flick who?

Wolf Nipple Chips
Random fact: The kid who played Flick (Scotty Schwartz) has continued his illustrious acting career. He is now a porn star. Link goes to IMDB for proof (SFW).

Heeheehee... I can't resist quoting it...

I see your schwartz is bigger than mine!

How. Is. That. NEWS? Even for Fark?

13 years. That's all it takes for a child actor to move from his first mainstream movie to porn. Gotta love America.

Scotty Schwartz went to a rival high school in NJ. Since he is somewhat older than I am, by the time I visited the school they had placed a big plaque in the "Famous Alumni" section. I am told by a good friend that said plaque was unceremoniously removed one evening after a parent complained that they were honoring a pornograher.

Have you ever given in to temptation during freezing weather and ended up with your tongue stuck to something?
Choice Votes Percentage of 19373 Votes
Yes 5133 26%
No 14240 74%

So 74% of them lied?

/never had my tounge stuck to something.
//lying

Glad he wasn't Islamic. They would have just cut it off.

"Are you going to do this again?"
"Uh-uh."

Anyone want to bet Darwin strikes this child before he hits puberty?

Just wondering, (blatent thread jack) if he WAS Islamic, and they cut it off, he couldn't go...

ALLALLALLLALLLALLALLLALAAAAA!!

Would he just go;

UGH, UGH, UGH, UGH, UGH,????

/just wondering.

Remember to drink your Ovaltine.

*Rumor has it a certain "Yale" student froze his tongue upon a KISS flagpole:

Before he stuck his KISS Sand Wedge upon the cold metal, somebody said "No, man. Don't be a chump. Don't give into THEM! You're smarter than A MILLION PEOPLE! Give yourself a chance! Be honest and work within both THEIR potential and YOUR ability! That's Platinum, baby!"

Rumor has it that Gene Simmons was the card responsible.

The "rumor" is a LIE. I made it up. No member of KISS would hang out with such a wussy President, even if 15 minutes with Boosh promised they'd produce their first gold record of the 21st century.

Anyways, back to the story:

That person (possibly Georgie 2) didn't heed Somebody (possibly Gene Simmons), and stuck his tongue against the flagpole. The strange part is that person STILL graduated from Yale (even though --get this -- his tongue was STILL stuck against a flagpole FOR THE DURATION OF HIS EDUCATION!) During his graduate check, the Deparments of Physics, Chemistry, and Biology couldn't explain the reason why his tongue was attached to a phallic symbol for a VERY solid 4 years, and were forced to conclude he had a sexual fetish regarding flagpoles. They were forced to graduate him with a C+ average, because flagpole foreplay just isn't pretty, and possibly grounds for a civil suit. So Somebody drank a lot of booze and re-emerged...

He wasn't done. No, sir! He pretended to do all sorts of lucrative shiat before he burned out, and felt sorry for himself. He cried a lot, and asked for assistance from Allah.

And his prayers were answered!

His daddy was rich, so he bypassed all the legislative branches to run for Governor of Texas, and won, because he held a gift for being a "politico"... Also, he knew that Texas doesn't get below 80 degrees every day ("how can it?" he thought, since he KNEW TEXAS), so he was certain he could get his REVENGE against those who tried to make him stick his tongue against frozen flagpoles..and in the winter of 1999, stuck his tongue against the Best Flagpole in Texas, to symbolize his intention: he was COMMITTED to be President, would keep his tongue stuck to the flagpole to PROVE himself.

...and that, my good Americans, is the story of how Bush blew Karl Rove, and won his Presidency.

* This story makes no sense.

jook: Priceless.

No, I forgot about the part where Gene Simmons buys an original version of "Optimus Prime" off E-bay. The story's ruined without it.

Being tempted to stick your tongue on an icy pole is the same as being tempted to stick a dart in your eye to see if it blinds you, or being tempted to stick something to yourself with superglue.

Why would you even be tempted? Let alone actually do it.

Stoopid people.

I also didn't include my thoughts about "What the Alcholics think of President Bush". It'd only suggest he's still a drunk...but that's for another day.

and yeah, the misspelling was on purpose. If he can add an extra syllable to "nuclear", I can drop one from "alcoholic".

i did that it was fun for awhile then i realized my tongue was stuck

JaredSeth:

I see by his IMDB entry that he was recently in movies with Lorenzo Lamas, Pauly Shore, RuPaul and Joey Buttafuoco. If that doesn't say hang it up, I don't know what does.


And that is actually a step down from teh pr0n

Slow news day, eh?
I guess tsunami coverage can't cover all the news pages.

What the hell kind of temptation is that? When I'm outside on a cold day, I'd sooner give in to the temptation to go back in.

my first fark post!!

you gotta love the kids answer when the cop asks him if he'll do it again, "Uh-huh". This kid might garner a few more fark headlines before he's done.

Great headline submitter

Must be a VERY slow news day...

Andyxc


Must be a VERY slow news day...


"What do you mean? I mean, that's real news, Not like that Politics slop."

/"Did you hear about the guy who swallowed a YoYo?"

There's no saving throw for a 'triple dog dare'. Tou are compelled to perform whatever the dare was.

Your tongue can't REALLY stick to a flagpole, can it?

/setup

BUMPHUS'ESSSSS!

Netafinga......

Random fact: The kid who played Flick (Scotty Schwartz) has continued his illustrious acting career. He is now a porn star. Link goes to IMDB for proof (SFW).
Schwartz graduated from my highschool.
/nobody cares

I remember seeing Christmas Story for the first time when I was 7 or so. My older brother and I were discussing the flagpole scene, and he told me that was just movie bullshiat.

He had a cooler of dry ice in his room (he used it to make c02 bombs from two liter bottles, but that's another story). He opens it and puts a large, flat rock on top of the dry ice block for long time. He fakes me out and then hands me the rock, which I proceeded to lick on the cold side.

URGBH! GHR!UCK! ST!@!UCK!!!! Oh yes, I had this huge rock hanging from my tounge and I'm screaming and run into the kitchen where my mom is. She tries to pull it off and do some yelling. All this wakes up my Dad, who grabs me by the nap of my neck and sticks my head in the sink to drown me... wait... release me from my brother's frozen rock trap!

My tounge hurt for days cause mom did manage to yank some tounge off. Dad punished us both for being idiots. I learned not to lick anything somebody puts in front of you. It might not give it back.

I was just in the stage play version of A Christmas Story this last December. The kid playing Flick did an awesome job, but he had to _pantomime_ his tongue being stuck (they didn't have a suction hole in the pole, like they did in the movie). Anyway, if you get a chance, see the play. A lot of people I talked to liked the play version even more.

I got the dogeared script right here on my desk. Anybody wanna touch me? Huh? Huh?

I learned not to lick anything somebody puts in front of you. It might not give it back.

A lesson well learned.
/and that's why my tongue is still green, and it burns when I drink
//didn't know ol' Flick became a pornstar. I guess FLICK was an approprate name.

My buddy once got his face stuck to the back of a moving pickup truck.

It was the winter festival and we were tailgaiting on an ice-road (on the lake) and I guess my buddy had a bit of steam on his face and brushed it against the bumper. I let go when we got to our destination, and he just kept holding on, screaming for me to get the truck to stop and that his face is stuck, until his feet hit a patch of horse dung (from the sleigh rides), and he tumbled into a steaming pile of sh:t and left a hefty patch of face stuck to the bumper.

I didn't stop laughing for days...

Great headline

I actually did this when I was in the third grade in Montana. I was trying to impress a girl and I thought it would be funny. It wasn't. I laid my whole tongue down on the metal fence post in about 0 degree weather. But instead of someone coming to the rescue with warm water, I panicked as soon as I got stuck and tore my tongue away from the pole, leaving a significant layer of skin and most of my tastebuds stuck to it.

Needless to say, the girl was not impressed. In fact, she started screaming and running away at the sight of the large volume of blood spurting from my mouth. The weird part is I didn't really even feel a thing. I guess the freezing pole had completely numbed my tongue. Hurt like hell later, though. My mom was embarassed to call the family doctor and tell him what her idiot kid had done. After he was done chuckling he told her to just control the bleeding with a cold compress and then leave it alone, nothing else you can do. It took about two weeks for the skin to grow back.