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(Stuff.co.nz)   Friends don't let nine-year-old daughters drive their drunk fathers home. Usually   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 49
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14246 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2005 at 7:58 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2005-01-17 02:39:49 PM
They should have used the dial-a-9-year-old service and got a pro.
 
2005-01-17 02:43:27 PM
... did the very same thing (minus the crashing bit) when I was 10.

/ Mom's been sober for 15 years now... yea mom!

//Not kidding
 
2005-01-17 02:45:17 PM
What sort of asshat takes his 9 year old daughter out drinking with him?
 
2005-01-17 02:48:57 PM
You people are never satisfied. If he left the kid at home while he drank you'd biatch. If he brought the kid and left her in the car while he drank you'd biatch. If he took the kid in the bar you'd biatch. If he drove you'd biatch, and when he tries to do the responsible thing and not drive drunk and use a designated driver, you still biatch.
 
2005-01-17 02:51:26 PM
"She mounted the kerb and negotiated the roundabout. At that stage she put her foot hard to the floor and careered down Omagh Rd on the wrong side of the road, through a fence and into the side of a house."


I don't care how drunk he was, his first mistake was to let a woman drive....
 
2005-01-17 02:57:49 PM
eddyatwork:- I'd be satisfied if he didn't get drunk around his daughter. Failing that, he could catch a taxi or use a dial-a-driver service. They're popular here in New Zealand.
 
2005-01-17 03:14:13 PM
What sort of asshat takes his 9 year old daughter out drinking with him?

He needs someone to drive him home, sheesh!
 
2005-01-17 06:14:42 PM
My dad used to have my eight year old brother drive him home after getting plastered at the local bars. I win. Bleh.
 
2005-01-17 08:02:49 PM
Nice troll binnster...
/thought the same thing
 
2005-01-17 08:06:03 PM
Wonder if she wins at pool?
 
2005-01-17 08:09:07 PM
My mother used to drive around with me in the car, she'd be drunk.

It went like this:

We'd go to McDonald's and get food with a large drink. She'd HALF the drink with me (the tall cups) and fill the rest in with vodka.

Then, we'd proceed to whatever errands she'd have to run.

Once, when I was around 7 or so, I had a friend with me in the car and she was so plastered, some stranger offered to follow us home because my mother was so drunk. I think she drove the bus (Volkswagon bus) all the way home in 2nd gear. We made it home ok, but yikes!
 
2005-01-17 08:13:29 PM
what's a kerb?
 
2005-01-17 08:14:34 PM
"Some people are against drinking and driving... but those kids have to get to school somehow."

- Dave Atell
 
2005-01-17 08:15:27 PM
2005-01-17 08:13:29 PM steve-0
what's a kerb?


It's what lorries drive up to get onto the pavement.
 
2005-01-17 08:17:07 PM
This reminds me of that show "Titus."

Titus is having a flashback to when his dad is driving home with a beer in his hand and the cops pull him over.

In a quick move, Father Titus says "remember what I told you to say" and switches seats with 6 year-old Titus and asks the officier "Is there a problem officier" as if nothing was wrong.

Gosh, I miss that show.
 
2005-01-17 08:18:26 PM
He must have been drunk to the point that he evaluated his (assumingly) untrained nine year old daughter would be more capable of getting them home, than himself.

I call lightweight.
 
2005-01-17 08:19:29 PM
How drunk was the daughter?
 
2005-01-17 08:20:07 PM
and when he tries to do the responsible thing and not drive drunk and use a designated driver, you still biatch.

Um, a DD should at least have a driver's license... If they don't, you get the DD who you pay, aka "a taxi".

On a side note, some of you Farkers had childhoods right out of an after-school special.
 
2005-01-17 08:20:25 PM
For anyone who's seen Once Were Warriors, this is roughly where it's set.
 
2005-01-17 08:22:34 PM
eddyatwork:

You people are never satisfied. If he left the kid at home while he drank you'd biatch. If he brought the kid and left her in the car while he drank you'd biatch. If he took the kid in the bar you'd biatch. If he drove you'd biatch, and when he tries to do the responsible thing and not drive drunk and use a designated driver, you still biatch.


Hmmm, how bout not drinking? Problem solved!
 
2005-01-17 08:27:40 PM
She didn't drive him home.

Well not the way the submitter suggests, anyway.
 
2005-01-17 08:29:11 PM
Was she hot?

-IR
 
2005-01-17 08:29:22 PM
A few years ago while on a trip I stopped to get some gas in this very small town in the Mojave Desert. While I was pumping gas I saw this really scummy looking lady walk out of the store with a 12 pack of beer and a kid walking with her that was no older than 10. When they got to their car the woman got in the passenger side and the little kid got behind the wheel and then drove off down Highway 395. I couldn't believe it.
 
2005-01-17 08:31:52 PM
Maybe she was avoiding hitting a turtle.
Did you ever think of that, Sgt. Spurdle?

/got teh nothin
 
2005-01-17 08:38:01 PM
fark we really do have a drink driving problem eh cuz
 
2005-01-17 08:42:11 PM
EEEK! I have a 9 yo stepdaughter, and the thought of her driving........OTOH, I did have my neice drive me home from my 18th birthday "party" (read: us and a couple friends getting plastered), she was 14- but I had already taught her how to drive, and besides that I was an 18 yo kid fer cryin' out loud!
 
2005-01-17 08:52:32 PM
2005-01-17 08:31:52 PM Toranti

Maybe she was avoiding hitting a turtle.
Did you ever think of that, Sgt. Spurdle?
/got teh nothin

==============================
You think she saw a turtle???
 
2005-01-17 08:59:06 PM
C'mon, kids in rural America - and Canada - are driving tractors and farm trucks at that age. In fact, sometimes it takes 2 kids - one to steer and one to work the pedals.
 
2005-01-17 09:12:33 PM
His mistake was not teaching her to drive when he was sober. Of course this assumes that he was sober at some time.
 
2005-01-17 09:27:53 PM
diskop: Hmmm, how bout not drinking? Problem solved!

I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, pilgrim.
 
2005-01-17 09:30:58 PM
NakedApe:

His mistake was not teaching her to drive when he was sober. Of course this assumes that he was sober at some time.


I agree. I learned how to drive a stick shift by the time I was twelve. I was the designated driver for all my friends by the time I got my learner's permit
 
2005-01-17 09:44:51 PM
They also mention there was a woman in the car, why didn't she drive? oh wait, also drunk?
 
2005-01-17 10:25:23 PM
Well if he'd just take the time to practice driving drunk, so he could become good at it, then he wouldn't need his daughter, now would he? People are so lazy.
 
2005-01-17 10:29:39 PM
How else is a kid suppossed to learn how ta drive under less then perfect conditions ??
 
2005-01-17 10:41:24 PM
Papatoetoe....

Man, that kills me.

As good as or better than, Titikaka.
 
2005-01-18 12:13:48 AM
Doug Gilbert, 77, who was alone in the unit at the time, says the crash has left him shaken but philosophical.

Wtf?
 
2005-01-18 01:32:21 AM
Papatoetoe hey you're lookin heavy
Papatoetoe ho you're lookin' good
Papatoetoe yes I've been getting hungry

Papatoetoe feed me manly food
I don't have fancy shacks or multi-colored cadillacs
But I have three months of loneliness
So papa have a drink relax
Papa papa so glad to have you here

I love you papatoetoe
Papatoetoe such anticipation
Papatoetoe mam you're blowin' my mind
Papatoetoe I'm just a male caucasian
Papatoetoe I'm virgin to your kind


Now don't get paranoid
I ain't a horny little mongoloid
All I wanna have is a little bit of love and joy

Papatoetoe so glad to have you here
I love you Papatoetoe
Papa papa so glad to have you here
I love you Papatoetoe

....

Come on now, surely I wasn't the onlyone who thought of it.
 
2005-01-18 01:42:47 AM
Papatoetoe....

Man, that kills me.

As good as or better than, Titikaka.


Waikikamukau still takes the cake...

(roughly pronounced why-kick-a-mu-cow)
 
2005-01-18 02:30:34 AM
... and the answer to that one is...

"Because it kicked me!"

Ever been to Kaukapakapa?
 
2005-01-18 03:45:45 AM
Been to Kaukapakapa, never been to Eketahuna, Waikikamukau doesn't exist (though Waimauku does, I've been there). Been to Papatoetoe (and that's got six syllables, not four... pa-pa-to-e-to-e), been to Puhoi, been to Paraparaumu, been to Kohimarama, been to Pauatahanui, been to Whangaparaoa, never been to Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakit anatahu.
 
2005-01-18 03:49:06 AM
lol. papatoetoe is pronounced 'papa toey toey' or something like that. but then again i live in whakatane 'fuk a ta ney' ...

/just showin ya how to speak maori
//not tryina be a smartass
///is from New Zealand

////Whakatane is near Te Puke. 'teh puh-key' :D
 
2005-01-18 03:58:08 AM
HOW TO PRONOUNCE MAORI WORDS AND NAMES

It's really bloody easy!

The vowels, a e i o u: EXACTLY THE FRICKIN SAME as Spanish or Italian.
The consonants h, k, m, n, p, r, t, w: EXACTLY THE FRICKIN SAME.
The consonant ng: As in "singer", not "finger".
The consonant wh = f (except in Northland, where = hw).

To pronounce dipthongs: CHANGE NOTHING ABOUT THE VOWELS INVOLVED and just run those two discrete vowels together.
 
2005-01-18 04:07:05 AM
wtf... didn't know there was rules.. i just try pronouncing words and if i get hit by someone i pronounced em wrong.. lol just jokin..

interesting comparison between spanish/italian and maori
 
2005-01-18 06:17:08 AM
the hawaiian state fish is the humuhumunukunukuapua'a. swear to god.
 
2005-01-18 06:47:36 AM
the maori need some @#$%ing abbreviations... <deity>!
 
2005-01-18 07:31:44 AM
The bottles on the back seat were propelled through the windscreen. Talk about being caught red-handed.
 
2005-01-18 08:14:16 AM
"She mounted the kerb"

/Damn pedophile kerbs

//Like you didn't think it too
 
2005-01-18 10:35:58 AM
I plan on letting my kids drive as soon as they can reach the peddals. That way, they'll learn to drive perfictly. So that they can avoid cops...
 
2005-01-18 10:44:15 AM
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa, can I can drive you in the night?

Papa, are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?

Left after the bar
I seem to see a million cars
Which way to go?
Where are you now that Jagermeister
Has been puked in
our Yugo?
The night is so much darker.
The wind is so much colder

The road I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone.

Papa, please forgive me.
Try to understand me.
Papa, don't you know I had no choice?

Can you hear me praying,
Anything I'm saying,
Even though the night is filled with voices?

I remember everything you taught me
Every car I've ever drove.
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face the final road?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller.
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright.

Papa, how I love you.
Papa, how I need you.
Papa, how I miss you
Crashing in the night.

/props to MechaStreisand
//A parody by me
 
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