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(BalticSWW)   StalinWorld opens in Lithuania. "It combines the charms of a Disneyland with the worst of the Soviet gulag prison camp"   ( divider line
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12898 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2005 at 3:51 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

126 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-01-17 02:11:27 PM  
The facilitypart amusement park, part open air museumis circled by barbed wire and guard towers,...

You don't want to be cutting in line at that place.
2005-01-17 02:11:37 PM  
Those nutty Lugans!

/I'm one too.
2005-01-17 02:21:12 PM  
The saddest part about it is that if Oprah mentioned it in even the tiniest bit positive light it would be swamped by American soccer moms and become an instant success.
2005-01-17 02:21:39 PM  
And like it's predecessor, you probably won't be able to buy beer there either.
2005-01-17 02:27:22 PM  
It's mass-murderific!
2005-01-17 02:28:43 PM  
One day in the life of Michail Mouseovich...
2005-01-17 02:34:01 PM  
Can I join the StalinCommie Club? Might do wonders for my career....
2005-01-17 02:34:14 PM  
Wasn't this a Monty Python bit?
2005-01-17 02:38:03 PM  
"Mommy Mommy! Can we on the anal rape ride again?"
2005-01-17 02:40:10 PM  
The saddest part about it is that if Oprah mentioned it in even the tiniest bit positive light it would be swamped by American soccer moms and become an instant success.

"Everybody gets to glorify a dictator!! That's RIGHT!! EVERYBODY GETS TO GLORIFY A DICTATOR!!!"

*sonic boom of screaming women*
2005-01-17 02:53:06 PM  
SockMOnkey - I totally agree, and the Oprahbots would put a KrispyKreme in there too.
2005-01-17 03:18:22 PM  
It's a gas.

Oh no, that's Naziland.
2005-01-17 03:45:18 PM  
It combines the charms of a Disneyland with the worst of the Soviet gulag prison camp

So it has an "its a small world" ride then?

2005-01-17 03:54:10 PM  
...and promptly hires Prince Harry dressed as an NKVD trooper.
2005-01-17 03:55:31 PM  
I would want to czech that out.
2005-01-17 03:58:14 PM  
i'll have to ask the family about this..

/has relatives there
//is aboot 60% Lithuanian
2005-01-17 03:59:36 PM  



/It's a small gulag after all, it's a small gulag after all......
2005-01-17 04:00:21 PM  
GIS for "aghast"

[image from too old to be available]
2005-01-17 04:01:19 PM  
No reason to send Harry to Auschwitz when they could just send him to visit Gitmo. Why look at ruins when you could see the real thing in action?
A Palestine to call your very own.
2005-01-17 04:02:42 PM  

The only problem is, once you enter the park, you are prevented from leaving by the Berlin Wall.

"You must be this tall to wait in line for bread rations."

2005-01-17 04:06:16 PM  
Don't forget the section where they show he was just one of The Terror's cronies!

[image from too old to be available]
Sit down Joe!
[image from too old to be available]

"You know, evil comes in many forms, be it a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin. But you can't let the package hide the pudding. Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it! You gotta smack it on the nose with the rolled up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog!" - The Tick
2005-01-17 04:06:16 PM  
Kids! Get in the farking car. We're going on vacation and only me and your mother are coming back. If she biatches about it, she can stay too.
2005-01-17 04:06:58 PM  
2005-01-17 02:21:39 PM SafariShane [TotalFark]

And like it's predecessor, you probably won't be able to buy beer there either.

You can never buy beer -- you can only rent it.
2005-01-17 04:07:59 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

[bad russian accent]

"Buy all our playsets and toys!"

[/bad russian accent]
2005-01-17 04:09:33 PM  

Who's the leader of the Club that's made for you and me ?

J-O-S-E-P-H, S-T-A-L-IN !

Joseph Stalin Joseph Stalin, Joseph Stalin Joseph Stalin, Forever hold our heads up high HIGH HIGH HIGH !

2005-01-17 04:10:08 PM  
"Soon to be opened is Six Flags Kick in the Nuts Extreme Park. No rides, no restaurants, just a painful kick to your genitalia!"

2005-01-17 04:10:25 PM  
In terms of people killed under his regime, Stalin made Hitler look like a lightweight
2005-01-17 04:10:49 PM  
2005-01-17 04:06:16 PM rstln76

That wasnt Josef Stalin. That was Stalingrad, a grad student in the studies of Josef Stalin.
2005-01-17 04:11:30 PM  
And if you'll step right this way... my colleague here will now kick you in the box and shove you.
2005-01-17 04:12:38 PM  

[image from too old to be available]

"I am not actually Stalin. I am Stalingrad, a former graduate student in Russian Studies turned super-villain. I base my work on Joseph Stalin."

/it's a homage, ya jerk! read a book!
//dang, I miss that show
2005-01-17 04:13:00 PM  
i hear the resort hotel is opening too, with the main draw being the first-hand "Ivan Denisovich" experience...
bah. i quit.
2005-01-17 04:13:58 PM  
In terms of people killed under his regime, Stalin made Hitler look like a lightweight

Stalin: "Yo, Adolf, what's up punk?" (shoves Hitler)

Hitler: (climbing out of mud puddle) "L-l-leave me alone, you-you-you ruffian!"
2005-01-17 04:16:57 PM  
It's a small world after all...especially since we have no private property or social class. It's a small, commie world.
2005-01-17 04:17:38 PM  
Interestingly, this was predicted by Jack Womack in his excellent novel about modern Russia, "Let's Put the Future Behind Us." Highly recommended.
2005-01-17 04:18:54 PM  
I actually really like the idea of satirizing old genocides. It's preferable to the alternative, i.e. the suicide-inducingly depressing "holocaust museum" in the Smithsonian.
2005-01-17 04:19:01 PM  

When Stalin completed 25 years of his rule over Russia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed the Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality.

The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Stalin.

He said:"Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"

2005-01-17 04:19:09 PM  
The 60-year-old canned mushroom mogul

Hey Farva... whats that restaurant you like with all the crazy shiat on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
2005-01-17 04:19:25 PM  

To be fair to rstln76, the image was actually an old pic of the original Stalin who worked with the Terror in a flashback in the episode "Grandpa Wore Tights."

To see the difference, check out this obsessive freak's website (opens in new window).

/ra bah bah
2005-01-17 04:22:45 PM  
"Malinauskas, considered one of the wealthiest men in Lithuania..."

From what I hear, he's worth hundreds.
2005-01-17 04:23:40 PM  
Son of Thunder

I know, I know.
I just didnt have that quote (that you posted) memorised.
I was basically trying to do what you did, except you did it better.

2005-01-17 04:24:08 PM  
How exactly would this be ANY different from Disney World?
2005-01-17 04:24:23 PM  
hahhahahaha i love the word gulag
2005-01-17 04:24:38 PM  
Joey Tribiani: There already is a Joseph Stalin!
2005-01-17 04:25:10 PM  
About 10 years ago I toured the old KGB headquarters in Vilnius which has been turned into a museum. Former inmates give the tours. It was fascinating and I highly recommend it.
2005-01-17 04:25:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

All your gulag are belong to us.
2005-01-17 04:27:09 PM  
And here I thought only American entrepreneurs could come up with inappropriate, tasteless ideas like this. Way to go Lithuania, keep us on our toes!
2005-01-17 04:28:20 PM  
For some reason the first thing I though of was:

"Joey, Have You Ever Been in a Turkish Prison?"
-from, Airplane
2005-01-17 04:30:20 PM  
If you buy the souvenir photo of yourself at the park, do you have to pay extra when they airbrush you out?
2005-01-17 04:31:16 PM  
Part of the old USSR feeling like a lightweight in the new world. So they do what every other country in Europe is doing, looking at the past and saying 'well, it wasnt so bad. we were at the centre of things after all'.

See Britain's new love of Empire (most obvious in the 'saving' of Africa by Messrs Blair and Brown), Germany's coming to terms with nazism and the fact that France decided to bomb the shiate out of a small African country.
2005-01-17 04:33:53 PM  
A thread about theme parks and mass genocide has turned into a thread about The Tick. Who da thunk?

I loved that show too. Maybe they'll release it on dvd...
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