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(Some Guy)   How to shave your testicles   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
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13137 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2002 at 6:10 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

256 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-03-07 07:28:19 PM  
Lets put it this way, I didn't photoshop him.
2002-03-07 07:29:52 PM  
I had to stop reading when I got to "perforate your pouch."

2002-03-07 07:29:54 PM  
Get that man a Nair STAT!
2002-03-07 07:34:48 PM  
The Sahve just seems too dangerous, scary and itchy. Plus I'm too lazy, I hate shaving my face let alone my nuts. I only shave a couple of times a week and do a quick rush job. This sort of technique could be very dangerous in the scrotal region so I'll give it a miss.

Plus it would just be too damn sweaty down there. After playing sports it would be like walking round with pissed pants.
2002-03-07 07:40:22 PM  
You know the alternative to shaving . .

(*doink*) "Yeow!"
(*doink*) "Ssssssst!"
(*doink*) "Eeee-ouch!"
(*doink*) " . .
2002-03-07 07:40:47 PM  
When you're finished, carefully cleanse the area to reduce the risk of infection. Follow with an application of astringent aftershave

Holy Fark, I won't use aftershave on my face, you expect someone to use it on their goods? Uh, no thanks.
2002-03-07 07:40:49 PM  
Why? I mean, why? Why would you want to do this? Why? Please, somebody tell me why? why? why? why?
2002-03-07 07:42:27 PM  
2002-03-07 07:44:30 PM  
Because some girls like it, and it makes them much more likely to... uh... do things... down there. And stuff.
2002-03-07 07:45:53 PM  
Mr. Bubbles, you call yours Jerome?

I am the master of the glory that is my BEOWULF

best. name. ever.
2002-03-07 07:46:21 PM  

This is why. She likes it, I do it. (See her pic in my bio)
2002-03-07 07:50:36 PM  

I see why you do it now *G* (I dont mean to sound like a letch)
2002-03-07 07:51:33 PM  
As a preop nurse, I've become an expert on shaving men. (God, that's scary.) I've never seen one who actually enjoys it. 99.9% of the poor bastards are always scared to death. At least 5 times a week I get asked, "UH...You've done this before...right?" I always smile and tell them, "Well, not really. We just practiced on dummys in nursing school. But it was so realistic!"

Side note: The penis is ugly enough with hair. Why shave the damn thing so that we have to look at it all?
2002-03-07 07:53:54 PM  
quote:The penis is ugly enough with hair. Why shave the damn thing so that we have to look at it all?

bio:32 year old divorced nurse

conclusion: no shiat
2002-03-07 07:54:29 PM  
As someone with sensitive skin, I can tell you this...erm..."operation" is no big deal. Make sure your junk is good and moist and warm, use a lubricating shave gel and a new razor, and you'll be fine. Anyone who's been shaving for more than six months should be able to pull this off without incident (famous last words, I know).
2002-03-07 07:55:42 PM  
I think the headline should read "How to shave your scrotum" right? Shaven testicles sounds painful beyond belief.
2002-03-07 08:00:41 PM  
RooBoy: Started dating her in 1976. Married in 84. I do what I can to keep her happy.
2002-03-07 08:03:28 PM  
now what about shaving everything BUT the jewels? you know.. alittle beard action? just a thought.
2002-03-07 08:03:32 PM  
I say trim first then if you like it go all the way.
2002-03-07 08:05:27 PM  
"Shaving the penis shaft is a fairly easy task to perform, as long as you do so with particular care. Start at the top of the shaft, where hair grows, and work your way in single strokes to the base of your penis."

If you have noticable hairs growing all the way up on the top of your shaft, you're seriously farked already.
2002-03-07 08:09:15 PM  
Odlid: Kudos - do whatever she asks, just hang on to 'er!

"Tis better to have pooted and lost than to never have pooted at all"
2002-03-07 08:10:00 PM  
Praetorian - 3. an electric shaver DOES turn your scrotum into mulch

That's funny because I have used an electric shaver for a while now and I would know if mulching was going on. I think the key is technique and temperature (figure it out..colder is better when using an electric shaver). It also helps to have a good electric shaver. Mine is one of those Braun shavers that cleans itself.

btw...I think this entire thread deserves a too much information tag.
2002-03-07 08:10:31 PM  
funniest. thread. ever. in months.
2002-03-07 08:14:19 PM  
Been doing this for years. Makes the ladies eyes go to the shiny chunk of metal on the end.
2002-03-07 08:14:43 PM  
Ok, some advice. Use the Venus. It is angled a little different then the Mach 3 and it has round edges on the blade cart.

Hair grows faster in the winter. Taking a sauna/steam will slow growth considerably. Hence less shaving.

Personally I use a castle soap and lots of suds. Warm water to start. Clean the blade often. Once you get things smooth it's a hell of alot easier. The first couple times are the hardest.

And no I'm not a porn star, I just play one on TV.
2002-03-07 08:15:40 PM  
Coming soon: instructions on how to braid the region.
2002-03-07 08:18:22 PM  
Those nutty English, I bet ya they shave down below

[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-07 08:18:25 PM  
Dammit, Cuckoo beat me to it. There's something wrong with the ol' junk if you have to start shaving from the very top of your shaft.
2002-03-07 08:18:35 PM  
A friend just sent me this via e-mail, and it has FARKer written all over it. Anyone seen it before?

[image from too old to be available]

The friend who sent it doesn't know about FARK. Poor bastard....
2002-03-07 08:19:24 PM  
thanks for the info NOW>....just got done using an electric razor on my way in hell im shaving my nuts.
2002-03-07 08:20:05 PM  
Pa-guy: Been doing this for years. Makes the ladies eyes go to the shiny chunk of metal on the end.

Damn, what kind of doctor did your surgery!?!? Does it rust? j/k
2002-03-07 08:20:29 PM  
I've been using Panasonic wet/dry shaver for a while, with no problems whatsoever. First did the beard trimmer bit, when that went fine, went all the way, fixing the odd hairs with the regular MachIII afterwards. Gillette sensitive skin shaving gel (with Aloe) does it for me - I never had any irritation. Nice thing is that with wet/dry shaver you can do it in the shower, so there's less mess (as long as you have drain filter in the tub, of course). My fiancee is very pleased with results.
2002-03-07 08:22:44 PM  
I just run a comb through it now and then, no need to shave the little guys.
2002-03-07 08:25:12 PM  
hey HeatMiser? does your friend live in Seattle? I just saw that yesterday here at work. A friend got it in e-mail.
2002-03-07 08:25:25 PM  
Well, this litle Farkette is now going to read the comment threads in a whole new way: hmmmmm....I wonder if he's got bare nads?...
I had no idea so many of you guys were into shaving your stuff. (Note to self--make a real effort to attend a fark party!)
2002-03-07 08:29:19 PM  
if any of you still have questions as to why someone would shave thier junk, read Attic1212's post
2002-03-07 08:30:20 PM  
Daffy_Duck: The piercing was the result of a 2 week meth/acid/crack/guinness binge (just seemed like the thing to do at the time.....). The original 'jewelery' rusted bad.. safety pins just aren't made like they used to be. ;).

Now it's a 4ga 3/4 inch captive bead ring.
2002-03-07 08:30:35 PM  
I said this in another thread, and as a female, I'll say it again...

Men should never shave this area. Ever. Freaks me out.
2002-03-07 08:30:45 PM  
fark i mean their
2002-03-07 08:37:40 PM  
Of course this article shows up 4 days after I have to shave.

Getting a snip is another reason for shaving. Not to mention the wife does think it's kind of cool. Not something I plan on doing regularly though.
2002-03-07 08:42:45 PM  
. .
(*doink*) "Bwoua-bwa-bwa-bwa-bwah!"
(*doink*) "Gnaaa-gnaa-gnaah!"
(*doink*) "Whoo-wu-wu-wub-wub-whooh!"
. .
2002-03-07 08:45:43 PM  
9 out of ten Farkette judges at the Dank Nugg Olympics agree...Hairy Guy Dankers are the best
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-07 08:46:09 PM  
Suitep: Nope. Chicago. But he got it through e-mail, too, so it's probably one of those six degrees-type things going on. Someone at FARK must have made that, though. Come on.

I'd better talk to my honey tonight about shaving my's high time.
2002-03-07 08:46:32 PM  
Quote "On the first stroke, shave "with the grain""

Give's a whole new meaning to 'Having a Woody'
2002-03-07 08:50:45 PM  
ok........'mulch' and 'testicles' were use in the same sentance......time for bed.
2002-03-07 08:51:32 PM  
yeah, it's totally a fark thing...that's cliche kitty! and Dumo...whatever the fark it's called.
2002-03-07 08:54:49 PM got it...Mach III is the's just the best all around...
2002-03-07 08:54:58 PM  
You can't use wax, but can you use Nads ™ on your Nads?
2002-03-07 08:56:27 PM  
Suitep HeatMiser: that pic of cliche kitty was posted by Querty2 on fark forum yesterday if that's a help.

shave tip: if your afraid you'll cut yourself ,trim the hair down first and then use a Schick Protector blade,it's got those little wire guard thingies over it.
2002-03-07 08:56:41 PM  
Cardinal...thanks for opening the door for knew I'd find my way here eventually...

It's all in my book...refer to chapter 9 for more info... :)
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