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(ESPN)   ESPN's Bizarre Injury All-Star Team   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

8195 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2002 at 7:19 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

44 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-03-07 07:23:08 PM  
yay, finally one of my submissions is posted!
2002-03-07 07:23:52 PM  
They should have included football, that way they could have named that Gramatica bozo for messing his knee after doing his stupid celebration
2002-03-07 07:28:17 PM  
This is my favorite

Closer: Jason Isringhausen (Athletics)
Broke his hand while punching a trash can just weeks after stabbing himself in the leg trying to open a package.
2002-03-07 07:31:39 PM  
PAGE 2??

That is frontpage news!
2002-03-07 07:35:25 PM  
How the hell do you get rolled up in a tarp machine?
2002-03-07 07:35:31 PM  
Would've been my first submission too :-\

Funny as hell though!
2002-03-07 07:37:06 PM  
Middle reliever: Steve Sparks (Brewers)
Dislocated his shoulder attempting to tear a phone book in half.

Anyone know how to tear a phonebook in half? There has to be a trick to it, I've seen it done...
2002-03-07 07:37:38 PM  
Yet another sad story of a baseball toughman getting taken out by food, he sliced his hand at the Texas welcome home luncheon while attempting to butter his roll.

Yep, Texans may talk big, but give em a gun or a knife and...
2002-03-07 07:47:05 PM  
"Anyone know how to tear a phonebook in half? There has to be a trick to it, I've seen it done..."

yes, the trick is to be really goddamn strong.
2002-03-07 07:47:33 PM  
I can tear a phone book in half...........with a little help
from a chainsaw.........
2002-03-07 07:48:15 PM  
'yes, the trick is to be really goddamn strong.'

or to just tear a small phone book.
2002-03-07 07:50:52 PM  
Maybe it was a little black book.
2002-03-07 07:52:11 PM  
Almost all of these stories are made up to cover up injuries that happen during less glamorous activities, like bar fights and single car (alcohol induced?) accidents.
2002-03-07 07:56:46 PM  
Master indeed. I hope his cupcake was a cutie...

Outfield: Kevin Mitchell (Mets/Giants)
The master of all bizarre injuries, he once injured himself while eating a cupcake. That, of course, was when he wasn't missing games because of vomiting -induced muscle strains, or strained eyelids.
2002-03-07 08:02:19 PM  
I used to secretly punch myself in the nose til it bled to get out of math class in Junior High.
2002-03-07 08:05:47 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
"If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter"
2002-03-07 08:06:35 PM  
Outfield: Ken Griffey, Jr. (Mariners)
Missed a game after suffering a pinched testicle from his protective cup ... which explains why the whole "pain in the butt" thing just isn't phasing Jr.

2002-03-07 08:10:21 PM  
Bret Barberie...?

Just look at the piece o'ass he lost... and you'll KNOW he belongs on that loser team!

[image from too old to be available]

But in his defense... the chick's a L.A. TOTAL BIMBO these days. Just waiting for her Gayheart some poor kid crossing the street.
2002-03-07 08:13:44 PM  
BeerBaron: "Yay, finally one of my submissions is posted?" Toot, toot.
2002-03-07 08:29:15 PM  
Is it me or does it look like she's wearing the king of all rat mattresses?

[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-07 08:40:15 PM  
Bench: Jose Cardenal (Cubs)
Missed a game in 1974 because he couldn't blink.

Acid was pretty big back then, wasn't it?
2002-03-07 08:47:05 PM  
How about Jolbert Cabrera of the Indians, currently on the DL after being shot in the ass by a carjacker in Colombia?
2002-03-07 08:50:09 PM  

Why do you say that?
2002-03-07 08:55:09 PM  
Thepoisonpen: I agree. For how tight those panties are pulled up there is a definate lack of camel toe.
2002-03-07 09:01:32 PM  
This list just isn't complete without Adam Eaton stabbing himself in the stomach trying to open a DVD case.
2002-03-07 09:04:27 PM  
Is it just me or is her crotch rather errrrr bulgy
2002-03-07 09:11:48 PM  
"Shortstop: Rey Quinones (Seattle)
Once was unavailable for pinch hitting duty, because he had already returned to the clubhouse ... to play Nintendo."

2002-03-07 09:59:20 PM  
Bench: Vince Coleman (Cardinals)
Missed the 1985 World Series after getting rolled up in the tarp machine.

Starting pitcher: Doc Gooden (Mets)
Missed a start when Vince Coleman accidentally struck him with a golf club in the clubhouse.
2002-03-07 09:59:25 PM  
Maybe she's wearing Griffey's ball-pinching cup. Eh?
2002-03-07 10:00:30 PM  
What the fark is wrong with this Vince Coleman guy?
2002-03-07 10:33:35 PM  
ah, good ol' vince...
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-07 10:39:54 PM  
Didn't Vince Coleman also throw FIRECRACKERS at some kids in LA?
2002-03-07 10:43:01 PM  
*pop* *pop* *pop*

Sure could steal some bases though. Too bad he's dumb.
2002-03-07 11:34:18 PM  
Max Load, same here, Croan's 8th grade Algebra :)
2002-03-07 11:35:08 PM  
nice. real nice.
2002-03-08 12:19:05 AM  
Roger Metzger, SS, once returned after chopping off the tips of his fingers with (I believe) a chainsaw.
(after recuperating)

Looking for a link, not yet found one.
2002-03-08 12:22:32 AM  
here is a link mentioning the injury. (at bottom of page)

Also, remember Tom Browning? Pitching and his arm broke.
Dave Dravecky? Same thing
Jon Smiley? Same

Or those guys who rode boats pitched for the indians? That was bizarre.
2002-03-08 12:30:07 AM  
You manipulate teh phonebook, so that you are tearing only a dozen pages or so at a time at first. You fan it out. It look like the natural way to hold it if you are looking on. Don't remember where I learned that. Tried it once, looked like ass, but you can definately pull it off with practice.

That is all.
2002-03-08 01:56:22 AM  
Bob Ojeda- (N.Y. Mets)

In a well-documented freak accident, he missed the last three weeks of the season after severing his left middle finger while trimming the hedge at his home. The tip of the finger was deliberately re-attached crookedly; he lost feeling and strength in it, but the different angle was designed to help him continue to throw his curveball.
2002-03-08 10:16:07 AM  
Starting pitcher: John Smoltz (Braves)
Once burned his chest while ironing a shirt ... which he was still wearing.
Give THEM the heat dumbass!! Not yourself!!
2002-03-08 10:20:57 AM  
I don't remember who it was, but some pitcher a couple of years ago decided he couldn't throw in the all-star game because he had pinched something while putting his arm over the back of the seat in a taxi between the airport and whatever 14 star hotel they were putting him up in.

For some reason, that sticks in my mind...
2002-03-08 10:22:02 AM  
Well, maybe more than a couple
2002-03-08 10:37:29 AM  
Figured it out... It was Brian Anderson of the Dbacks. And It wasn't the all-star game, I don't think. Not with this guys record.
2002-03-08 11:03:24 AM  
The trick to tearing a phone book in half is as follows: take the spine and the opposite edge of the book in your hands. Fold the book so it looks like this, edge on:

[image from too old to be available]

Where the X is, will be an area where some pages and one cover are separated from the other pages. Start tearing there, and work your way across until you are tearing the whole thickness of the phone book. It's obviously a trick to those watching but will still win you a bet (as long as the person you betted with doesn't welch on you for being smarter than them).
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