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(Reuters)   British workers are happier with impressive titles instead of bigger salaries   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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2380 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2002 at 12:25 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-03-07 12:18:40 PM  
Scott Adams to the rescue! Lambast those brits, you balding cartoonist!
2002-03-07 12:28:49 PM  
2002-03-07 12:28:50 PM  
Yea right.

I may be lord high king of the galaxy but i still want more money
2002-03-07 12:29:34 PM  
Hey everyone, I just got promoted to Vice-President of Scrubbing Toilets!!! Snoogans.
2002-03-07 12:30:49 PM  
I will say it again, "White people are so silly!".
2002-03-07 12:31:13 PM  
Hey! Now I'm a "Sanitation Engineer". I used to be a garbageman.
2002-03-07 12:32:09 PM  
now asst. nurses in old age homes will no longer be call "ass-wipers" insted they will be "Anal Purification Engineers"
2002-03-07 12:34:13 PM  
Sounds like goofy euphemisms to me. They are still limies (sp?) though...
2002-03-07 12:34:29 PM  
How does "Applied Quantum Physics Engineer" sound for a title? All those other bastards calling themselves engineers is not a good thing... can't beat them, join them right...


Applied Quantum Physics Engineer
2002-03-07 12:35:42 PM  
Wasn't Quantum bought out by Maxtor?
2002-03-07 12:35:43 PM  
Well, Harmonia, for once, I unequivocally agree with you, but tell me, doesn't a desire for more compensation conflict with your socialist views?
2002-03-07 12:36:02 PM  
"Lord Sir Master Cock Ring Stretcher and Technical Director"
2002-03-07 12:36:12 PM  
Those silly Brit's.
2002-03-07 12:36:20 PM  
So what would a college student upgrade be?
2002-03-07 12:36:27 PM  

n 1: a person who uses scientific knowledge to solve practical problems [syn: applied scientist, technologist] 2: the operator of a railway locomotive [syn: railroad engineer, engine driver] v 1: design as an engineer; "He engineered the water supply project" 2: plan and direct (a complex undertaking); "he masterminded the robber" [syn: mastermind, direct, organize, orchestrate]

Is sanitation a complex undertaking?

2002-03-07 12:36:36 PM  
That's we bombed their asses in World War II.
2002-03-07 12:37:36 PM  
college student replacement:

Beer Study Engineer
2002-03-07 12:38:33 PM  
Applied Beer/Study Engineer
2002-03-07 12:38:33 PM  
You can call me Suzie if you like
2002-03-07 12:39:40 PM  
Directors of Waste Management
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-07 12:39:40 PM  
Dbasement: - You want to run that one past us again?
2002-03-07 12:40:11 PM  
Nemisonic: Damn, my new title will have to be "Professional Construction Babysitter". The last time I did anything scientific-like thinking was in university.
2002-03-07 12:40:30 PM  
All U.K.'ers will now have the title of Grand Bloody Wankers of A Nation Which is No Longer a Superpower. And don't call us, we'll call you.
2002-03-07 12:42:12 PM  
I am sooooo bored listening to ignorant americans. If I had a plane I'd fly it into one of your buildings
2002-03-07 12:42:33 PM  
Crazy Ivan: It was a I'm-a-dumb-American joke. Sorry to scare you.
2002-03-07 12:43:21 PM  
"We are all Britons, and I am your king"
"Well how'd you become king then"
"Well I was going a really splendid job scrubbing the toilets at Buckingham palace, then they told me they couldn't afford to give me my yearly 10 pence bonus..."
2002-03-07 12:44:47 PM  
Hooker = Sexual Gratification Dispenser
2002-03-07 12:46:32 PM  
"Do you want fries with that? I am a Knight!"
2002-03-07 12:47:35 PM  
Hooker=Ejaculate Disposal Unit
2002-03-07 12:47:53 PM  
Crazy Ivan
dont be an asshole, have some respect man. Everyone is allowed to joke about other countries, it doenst mean anything. Dont joke about a tragedy
2002-03-07 12:48:50 PM  
Royal Ass Wiper sounds like a good title
2002-03-07 12:48:56 PM  
Goo_beer:- Your right, too strong. apologies all round
2002-03-07 12:49:25 PM  
Yes... 2 large sexual gratification dispensers and a large fries please.

Oh. And a medium coke.
2002-03-07 12:50:04 PM  
I think the Title thing is in the States too.

Stewardess = Flight Attendant
Secretary = Administrator
Draftsman = CAD Tech
2002-03-07 12:52:09 PM  
Yes, I believe Paul Westerberg addressed this very issue in the mid-80's in the classic Replacements tune "Waitress in the Sky."
2002-03-07 12:54:47 PM  
"Sanitation expert and a maintenance engineer
Garbage man, a janitor and you my dear
A real union flight attendant, my oh my
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky..."

The Replacements. Most underrated rock band ever.
2002-03-07 12:57:25 PM  
so it is true, what america gets the UK gets 10 years later.
2002-03-07 12:59:02 PM  
A friend of mine was a medical rep for a drugs company, she was titled 'Sales Manager with Global Responsibility for Pain'.

the biatch!
2002-03-07 12:59:11 PM  
"British workers are being given bigger job titles rather than bigger salaries".
It's not working... They could give me a fancy title if they want, but it all still translates as "Underpaid, powerless minion". I intend to quit really, really soon...
2002-03-07 12:59:25 PM  
Hooker = Sexual Gratification Engineer

It used to be when an old person died, the undertaker put him in a coffin and sent flowers to the funeral home, where they held a wake. Then, after the funeral, they drove the dead person in a hearse to the cemetery, and his body was buried in a grave.

Now, when a senior citizen passes away, the mortician places him in a burial container and we send floral tributes to the slumber room, where the grief coordinator supervises the viewing. After the memorial service, the funeral coach transports the departed to the garden of remembrance where his remains are interred in his final resting place.

Not necessarily relevant, but pretty indicative...
2002-03-07 01:02:30 PM  
That's WEBLORD Argent to you
2002-03-07 01:03:57 PM  
Jethro Q. Bondwhackie-Buzzardstubble Andboot Walrustittie, Minister of Parliament.
2002-03-07 01:04:24 PM  
Thanks Vicoly for the poltiaclly correct way of buring the dead.
2002-03-07 01:04:46 PM  
Screw the title. I'll take the money. The title does not pay for trips or buy new cars.
2002-03-07 01:05:55 PM  
"British workers are happier with impressive titles instead of bigger salaries" - This statement is not substantiated anywhere in the article. The workers in questions are not happier getting bogus job titles over more money, they are happier getting bogus job titles rather than being laid off.
Let's submit some more "news items" with descriptions that make them funnier than they actually are....
2002-03-07 01:08:01 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-07 01:08:47 PM  
Slightly off-topic:

I'm testing some language translation software for use in supporting our Latin American customers. It's rather politically correct. It translates, "Is your server down?" as "Is your waiter depressed?"

This article brought that to mind, since we now call waiters and waitresses "servers".
2002-03-07 01:13:40 PM  
My unofficial title is database dictator. Or database dickhead when my coworkers are feeling punchy.
2002-03-07 01:18:34 PM  
Left to Right: Sir J.S. Gumby, Lord F.B. Gumby, Duke W.C. Gumby Esq., Sir T.E Gumby III, The Right Honourable H.G. Gumby IV PHD, and Sir not appearing in this jpeg
2002-03-07 01:19:32 PM  
I read the article incorrectly - I thought it said big impressive titties. Which I thought would have had th obvious tag instead. Then I re-read it properly.
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