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(IOL.co.za)   Hollywood actor says that adding carnelian stones to a ring has given him magical sexual prowess   (iol.co.za ) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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19756 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2005 at 12:26 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2005-01-09 08:12:14 AM  
Or maybe it's the 19 year old nymphomaniac in his bed, you think?
 
2005-01-09 08:15:58 AM  
It's the sushi.
 
2005-01-09 08:20:34 AM  
GIS for Alice Kim
[image from frosoco.stanford.edu too old to be available]
 
2005-01-09 08:23:03 AM  
Wow, that is one surreal pic...
 
2005-01-09 08:40:45 AM  

Uh, yep, I'm sure it's the stone.

[image from cliphoto.com too old to be available]

 
2005-01-09 09:28:02 AM  
Maybe I just haven't had enough coffee, but I'm looking at the sumo pic, and it's like all the hands in the background are moving.

/help!
 
2005-01-09 09:57:44 AM  
I had my testicles replaced with carnelian rocks. Still hasn't done much for my sex life.
 
2005-01-09 11:18:35 AM  
DrPsycho I see you couldn't give up TF :P

Seriously though, this guy is the next Gary Busey. He'll have a pointless show on Comedy Central sooner or later.

I'm into stones

No, Nick, I think you're into being stoned.
 
2005-01-09 11:20:57 AM  
dj_bigbird

Is that batboy behind that dude's left shoulder?
[image from sf.indymedia.org too old to be available]
 
2005-01-09 11:43:52 AM  
simpson scandal update: homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers.

/half-truth
 
2005-01-09 12:32:03 PM  
"The National Treasure star.."

I stopped reading it at that point. Do you ever think that news organizations quote a star's worst movies on purpose?

What if every Article about Stallone included "The star of such films as 'Over the Top' and 'Rhinestone' said earlier today.."
 
2005-01-09 12:36:22 PM  
Whoa, Animonovo, if you're going to say that "National Treasure" was Cage's worst movie, you are neglecting turds such as "Gone in 60 Seconds," "Con Air," "Family Man," "Captain something or another's Mandolin," "It Could Happen to You," etc. Isn't he supposed to be a Coppola or something?

And yeah, the only stones that are helping him are the stones that his teenage Asian girlfriend is sucking on.
 
2005-01-09 12:37:56 PM  
Apparently, Erin is not the only Moran in Hollywood.
 
2005-01-09 12:37:57 PM  
[image from accusor.net too old to be available]

Fool!
 
2005-01-09 12:39:13 PM  
Actually, the stones could help, if the ring was his c*ck ring.
 
2005-01-09 12:40:16 PM  
Cripes, Cage is only 40? Seriously, I figured he was mid-to-late 40s easily with his look.
 
2005-01-09 12:43:39 PM  
no wonder he plays a psycho so well
 
2005-01-09 12:43:56 PM  
Why is it that movie stars always fall for the stupidest mystic/medical trends? Movie lights must make you grow stupid. How can something be a stimulant and calm you?

"The amber gem is said to have the power to stimulate the wearer's blood flow, as well as providing calming benefits."


and don't tell me that some aboriginal group has been using these stones for centuries, if they did why aren't they all boffing like bunnies too?
 
2005-01-09 12:46:05 PM  

Unfornately, this ring will not prevent the moment when his wife comes up to him and announces, "Nic ... I'm barren !"


But for now, enjoy the start of your, 'Salad Days', Nic.
[image from brightlightsfilm.com too old to be available]

 
2005-01-09 12:46:17 PM  
People Magazine says pay attention to the boorish details of actor's private lives - bow and worship at the altar of the false idol Celebrity.
 
2005-01-09 12:47:33 PM  
Weird thing is that he loked alot worse in "Raising Arizona" than he does now, and he should have been early 20's then
 
2005-01-09 12:50:48 PM  
what a hippie
 
2005-01-09 12:51:42 PM  
why is it that a large number of hollywood celebrities are crazy as hell? the drugs? the pressure getting to them?
 
2005-01-09 12:52:02 PM  
Maybe the stone is the fabled Penis Mightier?
 
2005-01-09 12:56:48 PM  
why is it that a large number of hollywood celebrities are crazy as hell? the drugs? the pressure getting to them?

If you think about it, non-celebrities tend to be farked in the head in large proportions as well...you just don't read about it every day in the New York Post.
 
2005-01-09 12:58:25 PM  
A limo driver who had worked on the production of "The Rock" didn't have anything nice to say about Mr. Cage. Apparently Cage wouldn't talk directly to any of the drivers, but instead would tell his personal assistant to tell the driver what to do.

On the other hand, Mr. Connery, according to the same driver, was a real gentleman.

(source: a limo driver in SF)
 
2005-01-09 12:59:00 PM  
He's old enough to be her father.
 
2005-01-09 12:59:14 PM  
FooFarker

How can something be a stimulant and calm you?

Nicotine. Seriously, I've seen scientific studies showing that nicotine has both of these effects.
 
2005-01-09 01:02:44 PM  
I dunno. I'd rather have some wackjob thinking a stone is going to improve their sex life than a total wackjob thinking this magical e-meter is going to exorcise the alien ghosts that are in their bodies.

XEMU/XENU is coming! Look busy!
 
2005-01-09 01:04:41 PM  
FooFarker

How can something be a stimulant and calm you?

Not to mention Ritalin, Dexedrine, and all the other related ADD medications. They are all stimulants, that serve to calm the user.
 
2005-01-09 01:09:05 PM  
Article:"He said: "It's good for my sex life. I'm very much into stones."


It's just too easy. Into stones? Yep, I'd say he's into that word in many forms.
 
2005-01-09 01:09:13 PM  
man where are all the uber intelligent farkers when ya need em...

I'm confused...

Christians = stupid cuz they have a sky fairy
Famous People = cool cuz they have level 9 magic stone??
 
2005-01-09 01:10:57 PM  
As a jeweler, I can say that carnelian stones added to my rings have given me extra money because of these dufusses who believe this shiat.

Hey, want a bigger dick? Buy this ring

/laughing all the way to the bank
 
2005-01-09 01:11:10 PM  
but those effect your dopemine levels, how could a stone do that?
 
2005-01-09 01:12:48 PM  
but those effect your dopemine levels, how could a stone do that?

It can't. He's insane.
 
2005-01-09 01:14:46 PM  
Mmmm...Sean Connery...*drool*

Oh, wait, this was supposed to be about Nick Cage? More power to him if he can get a 19yr old wife, and more power to her for landing a rich older dude.
 
2005-01-09 01:14:59 PM  
Maybe the dude just really likes sushi...

/gots nuthin'
 
2005-01-09 01:20:16 PM  
etheak:

Weird thing is that he loked alot worse in "Raising Arizona" than he does now, and he should have been early 20's then

why is that weird? he was supposed to look like that.
 
2005-01-09 01:20:18 PM  
With her sitting like that on MY Lap, i guarentee she would be raising my arizona.
 
2005-01-09 01:20:49 PM  
My mood ring does pretty well, lets me know if I should wear gloves while shoveling snow from the sidewalk.
 
2005-01-09 01:21:16 PM  
dirtyuser
I think everyone here is saying Cage is a doofus for believing in the level 9 magic stone.
 
2005-01-09 01:22:20 PM  
Nick "coppola" Cage's fetish for asian women was widely known around LA. He frequented many of the Hostess clubs in the Koreatown district included Le Prive (which is a "booking" club, explanation to follow) which is apparently where he met the then 18 yr old who is now his wife. She was less of a waitress and more of a "hostess girl" like you would find in an asian style "hostess club."

A booking club and hostess club are kind of variations on a theme. In a "booking club" you (and usually your posse) literally buys a table and the requisite amount of booze to go with it (typically a bottle or two of Crown Royal, which is very popular among Koreans for some reason.) You then use the waiters to round up young ladies (you typically pick them) and bring them to your table ("book" them)where you ply them with drinks. If you like them and they like you, they stay, if not, the stay for the drink and you either have the waiter dismiss them or they go back to their table of their own will. This process is repeated often through the night, (sometimes the girls will likewise request that a waiter "book" them at a guys table.) These clubs make a fortune, as a bottle of CR goes for around $140 and the extras and tips can really add up in a hurry. Large tips for the waiters are required as there is usually heavy competition for the tables and access to the clubs and the waiters actually choose who gets to come in or not.

In a hostess club, there are numerous young ladies to choose from and you (and or a group) can request that a young woman sit with you (typically in hour long chunks). You can either choose or let the mamasan pick for you. Sometimes there is some hanky panky to be had, sometimes not, it depends upon the "hostess." These are very common/popular in Japan, Korea and other asian countries and there are a number of them in LA serving the large asian community. (More koreans in LA than any city outside of Seoul!) The difference between a booking club and a hostess club is that the "hostesses" make a profession of this and get tipped to spend time with the customer. (Think of the old timey "dime a dance" routine or "b-girl" job which used to be more commonplace. BTW, there are still few of the "hostess dance clubs" in LA which are not asian influenced, more like a strip club with clothes on, but it operates the same as hostess clubs, a service fee to the "house" for the time and a tip to the "hostess."

A friend of mine is a writer and while he was researching an article on the topic took me to a few underground hostess clubs around town, most interesting and certainly educational.
 
2005-01-09 01:22:46 PM  
FooFarker
How can something be a stimulant and calm you?

rtflakfizer
Not to mention Ritalin, Dexedrine, and all the other related ADD medications. They are all stimulants, that serve to calm the user.


Think about these meds as the stick shift in a car. You're going 40 mph in 2nd gear, your engine is going to be a bit fast. If you take the meds/shift into 4th, your engine won't race.

That having been said, these stones are like adding racing stripes to a rice-burner thinking they make you faster.

/no more car metaphors, I promise.
//unless I forget.
///vroom vroom
 
G2V
2005-01-09 01:24:31 PM  
"People in China have believed it for 1000 years, it must be true!"
 
2005-01-09 01:24:54 PM  
They are both getting what they want out of the relationship though. He gets a hot, young, Asian POA. And she gets a rich, experienced actor who isn't very smart and will give her whatever she wants.

Actually, I think she might have the upper hand in this situation. As long as she can deal with her friends calling him a moron all the time, this relationship will be a sound investment for her. Better than playing the ponies anyway.
 
2005-01-09 01:25:39 PM  
If he's smart, he'll keep an eye out for these two ... and red paint.

[image from beatleshelp.50megs.com too old to be available]

/Obscure?
 
2005-01-09 01:31:19 PM  
btw, it doesn't take but two sets of stones to get the libido flowing (some guys get it done with a single stone) and they sure as hell are the kind of stones you mount on a ring. I might add that my pursuit of carnal pleasure has been greatly enhanced by likewise obtaining a girlfriend who is 17 yrs younger than myself as well. Amazing what impact being with a hot, young, in-shape woman will have on the libido.

I have always had a sneaking suspicion that ol' Nick was a little older than he claimed. I saw him in person when he was "younger" and he looked about 5 yrs older than he was reported to be even then, (when he was in his early 20's supposedly) However, that could certainly have just been the impact of the receding hairline and a reflection of the physical impact of a life of hard partying.
 
2005-01-09 01:38:56 PM  
He said recently: "This is the one." - Bang Showbiz

Bang is a euphemism for fark and showbiz another name for Hollywood, then that's the perfect ending: fark Hollywood.

/let the filter do its work.
 
2005-01-09 01:41:31 PM  
Crackpot Jackpot, if that's obscure then someone needs HELP!
 
2005-01-09 01:41:59 PM  
man where are all the uber intelligent farkers when ya need em...

I'm confused...

Christians = stupid cuz they have a sky fairy
Famous People = cool cuz they have level 9 magic stone??


Right.. because pretty much every farker here mentioned how "cool" they thought the magical stone was. Good one.
 
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