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(Wired)   Year after year, software companies promise us spectacular products that never materialize. Here are Wired's picks for the top vaporware products for 2004   (wired.com) divider line 101
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34620 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2005 at 10:08 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-08 10:14:17 AM
Wired's list just isn't the same with Duke Nukem Forever as number one.
 
2005-01-08 10:17:26 AM
vaporize tupperware
 
2005-01-08 10:17:30 AM
Steven "Harley" Davidson said, "If Microsoft keeps on pushing back the dates for Longhorn and removing features from it, they might as well just promise to bundle Duke Nukem Forever with the OS."


Golf clap...
 
2005-01-08 10:19:37 AM
Yeah, whatever happened to Windows SE (Stable Edition)?
 
2005-01-08 10:20:17 AM
Not to nitpick, but half the products are made by hardware companies. Maybe the headline could be readjusted. That, and I didm't think hardware could qualify as vaporware. If so, does that mean when I lose my homework I can call it vaporware?
 
2005-01-08 10:20:20 AM
Duke sucks!
 
2005-01-08 10:22:45 AM
At least with(out) Duke Nukem we have something to look forward to. Growing up I always used to hear that flat screen T.V.s and a pill to grow hair were "just a few years away." Now we have flat (thin) screen television, a lotion to grow hair, and pills for male sex performance.
What a brave new world we live in.

/Votes to close the patent office because everything is now invented.
 
2005-01-08 10:22:52 AM
HaywoodJablonski: I didm't think hardware could qualify as vaporware.


vaporware: /vayprweir/, n.

Products announced far in advance of any release (which may or may not actually take place)

(From the Jargon File, which is kinda definitive for these things.)
 
2005-01-08 10:23:47 AM
I'll settle for a version of Windows that doesn't suck.
 
2005-01-08 10:24:03 AM
knucklebreather

I stand corrected
 
2005-01-08 10:25:29 AM
Duke Nukem is gonna suck
does anyone even care?
 
2005-01-08 10:29:15 AM
Now I may be wrong, BUT, I saw the phantom on tv being demoed at CES. I realize that just because it's being demoed doesn't mean it'll be out to us any time soon, but nothing else on the list even exists in a prototype form to show the public. So does that mean that the Phantom is now just disappointing?
 
2005-01-08 10:30:02 AM
I was sad to find out the keyboard with a lotion and kleenex dispenser was vaporware.
 
2005-01-08 10:30:07 AM
11. Wired promised to be an interesting magazine.
 
2005-01-08 10:32:50 AM
GenghisChron:
Duke Nukem is gonna suck
does anyone even care?


You actually think it's gonna be released!? I have a magazine reviewing the blade runner game that was released in 1998. under a screenshot of a futuristic advertisement is a caption reading "Duke Nukem Forever - coming any day now." seven years ago it was a freaking joke. Now it's more of an embarrasment.
 
2005-01-08 10:33:28 AM
See, this is why I use ancient technology. Nothing like a Pentium 133 on 56k, that's what I say! Who cares if the newest products come out or not if I can't and won't be using any of them.

/Why in my day, we walked fifty miles each day through the snow just to...
 
2005-01-08 10:36:24 AM
2005-01-08 10:22:45 AM NiteClerk

But where's my flying car? Hmmm? I want my flying car, dammit!
 
2005-01-08 10:38:17 AM
'Obviously, Microsoft won't be able to finish the code until it's had a peek at Apple's forthcoming Tiger.'

Zing!
 
2005-01-08 10:38:36 AM
The oldest story on the planet. Great-great grandfather brap spent his final years quietly weeping, patiently waiting by the post box for the Pony Express man to deliver his Victorian Steam-Powered Suck Machine.
 
2005-01-08 10:39:18 AM
"Wow, i can't wait to play the fourth one" says the highschool sophmore Dude.

"Wow, i can't wait to play the fourth one" says the high school graduated, college graduated, gotten a full time job and moved out of my parents house, Dude.

/It's been that long.
 
2005-01-08 10:43:06 AM
Duke Nukem forever is not real, nor has it ever been. I stopped believing the lies years ago. For some reason this company, 3drealms, feels like this joke is funny. Maybe it IS funny that thousands of gamers continue to hope for it.

/got land in florida for sale.
 
2005-01-08 10:43:08 AM
day after day
love turns grey
like the skin on a dyin man
 
2005-01-08 10:47:24 AM
MMMMM Vaporizer!!

 
2005-01-08 10:48:53 AM
2005-01-08 10:36:24 AM Sensei

2005-01-08 10:22:45 AM NiteClerk
But where's my flying car? Hmmm? I want my flying car, dammit!


I'll settle for a hover board. Man those were cool...
 
2005-01-08 10:51:02 AM
I'm a little disappointed that www.go-l.com and their "products" didn't make the list. I first found out about this website from The Screensavers (pre-G4 makeover). They have some absolutely incredible computers and displays, and they just sound too good to be true.

And as far as I know, no one has conducted a review on anything this site offers.

So it has to be vaporware at best, a scam at worst.
 
2005-01-08 10:51:15 AM
2005-01-08 10:47:24 AM snowboard22


MMMMM Vaporizer!!
I dunno, I always thought those things were pure, utter garbage that didn't work right worth a fark. BUt it could just be me. Hmmmmmm...

/goes off to ponder this one...
 
2005-01-08 10:51:49 AM
Nope, they're still shiat


/didn't ponder too long
 
2005-01-08 10:53:30 AM
The best way to wrap your brain around the duke nukem fiasco is this...

Duke nukem forever's original release date was before halflife 1 ever came out.

Think about how long ago that was...
 
2005-01-08 10:56:03 AM
I have a 1997 or 1998 PCGamer (are they still in business) with Duke Nukem on the cover, with the headline: "HOT FOR THIS CHRISTMAS: DUKE NUKEM FOREVER".

Feh. 3dRealms has a SERIOUS rude awakening for them when they finally release the game and people don't buy it purely out of spite. Yes, gamers are that petty.
 
2005-01-08 11:07:46 AM
How the heck can 3D Realms still be around even when they haven't released a product in years and years?

As for Duke Nukem...it's already a joke, and also irrelevant. There's no way any product, be it a game, OS, car, or anything else can live up to 7 years of hype and expectation.

If anything, when it is released, it'll be remembered for years afterward only for its former vaporware status, even if its a better game than, say Doom 3 and Half-Life 2 combined. Which I highly doubt it'll come even close to.
 
2005-01-08 11:08:43 AM
After this long, it is pretty obvious that they are not going forward with the release period.

Many thing delay the release of new titles. Licensor contractual issues, developers being lazy asses (they all are), creative problems (box design, manual design, etc).

Mostly, it all ties to the royalty rate guaranteed the developers. If the financials don't work with that rate, and the rest of the physical COGS cannot be reduced, you've got yourself a problem. The solution is to kill the project.
 
2005-01-08 11:09:47 AM
At last - AmigaOS4 isn't on the list any more... They've obviously realised that it's almost finished, and since it's available in beta form it isn't vapourware. Hurrah!

Wired - you suck :-)
 
2005-01-08 11:09:55 AM
Monkeyfro, how the fark did your date stamp say 2005-01-08 10:11:54 PM??? And it appeared only a moment after my last one.
 
2005-01-08 11:12:46 AM
Monkeyfro put words that trigger a time filter, kicking his post 12 hours into the future.
RE: Vaporware, yeah, I'm looking forward to the children of 3drealms' developers completing the game.
 
2005-01-08 11:13:06 AM


Okay, I'll bite...a healthy alternative to what exactly? I am sure I should...oh, wait a minute. I took a second look and an old SNL skit is coming back to me now.

You put your weed in there, right?
 
2005-01-08 11:13:55 AM
Well on the bright side, I guess my farkin' year and a half wait for Fable wasn't soooo bad compared to the what 8yrs of waiting for Duke Nukem Forever. I jsut wanna say this: DO NOT DELAY JADE EMPIRE ANY FARKING LONGER.
 
2005-01-08 11:14:08 AM
umm.. I saw a Radeon x800 at the store in December. A couple of them in fact. Am I missing something here
 
2005-01-08 11:18:21 AM
KvanCetre:


umm.. I saw a Radeon x800 at the store in December. A couple of them in fact. Am I missing something here

Yeah i saw one too in december, i want one.

/has x700pro
 
dam
2005-01-08 11:20:21 AM
Does anyone know an actual release date for Gran Turismo 4? I look at Target, Amazon, CDNOW, Best Buy, and they all have different release dates. I'm so confused about when this freakin' game that I've been waiting forever for is going to come out.
 
2005-01-08 11:22:45 AM
People still read Wired? So 90s, man. Move on.
 
2005-01-08 11:24:26 AM
For those wanting their flying car: Be patient.

Moller International
 
2005-01-08 11:30:20 AM
Intel sux

My new AMD processor puts ANYTHING Intel has to shame. And Intel won't catch up to AMD for 18 months. Intel's PR tricks are the talk of the industry. Too bad.

Duke sux to.


And Rumsfeld.
 
2005-01-08 11:31:12 AM
capran:

How the heck can 3D Realms still be around even when they haven't released a product in years and years?

Two words: creative financing

/You see we lease this back to the company we sold it to. That way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
 
2005-01-08 11:32:17 AM
Those voice to text programs aren't worth a shaite. I can type faster.

I don't buy any software anymore without trying it out first - download. Been burned to many times.
 
2005-01-08 11:34:10 AM
Ender1978, now I know Moller is a fake. I've been waiting anxiously for these skycars for years. But take a look at that site! Flashing border, links to Popular Science cover, and, hey what's this?
"See links for latest on life extension (organic almond butter) and weight and/or cholesterol reduction."

WTF??? SCAM!!!! I bet they're spammers.

Click here for a chance to win YOUR VERY OWN FLYING CAR! But WAIT, if you act now we'll send you 0RG4N1C a*l*m*{}*Nd butter that'll make you lose weight and cholesterol!!!

farkers.
 
2005-01-08 11:36:49 AM
I give props to the quote in item 8, page 2, about the Apple 3Ghz chip. Great Python parody.
 
2005-01-08 11:37:00 AM
GreenSlime

/You see we lease this back to the company we sold it to. That way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

PING!
 
2005-01-08 11:37:55 AM
Voice recognition should have been here by now. Didn't IBM drop half a billion into it or something a while ago? I, for one, would like to be able to say "computer, play SomaFM" and have the stream start right away. But noooo... I have to move my mouse pointer over to an icon and click not once, but twice!
 
2005-01-08 11:38:44 AM

'Obviously, Microsoft won't be able to finish the code until it's had a peek at Apple's forthcoming Tiger.'


Yea right. That is what all twelve Mac users what like the world to believe.
 
2005-01-08 11:41:01 AM
vartian,
THC vaporizes at about 350 degrees. when you smoke pot the thc next to the flame is vaporized and released into the air.
burning or oxidizing thc breaks it down into other chemicals. that do not have the same effect.

what bothers me about vaproizers , is when your done smoking , you still have green weed that looks like you can still smoke it. i feel bad throwing it out
 
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