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(Denver Channel)   Grown man, still living with parents, heads to jail for flooding Philadelphia Phillies management's computers with email   ( thedenverchannel.com) divider line
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8482 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2005 at 6:10 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-07 11:21:54 AM  
he is living with his parents heads? are they in jars? cryo?
 
2005-01-07 11:27:58 AM  
This would be more interesting if he had flooded the city with water instead.
 
2005-01-07 11:49:41 AM  
It would be even more interesting had he flooded the city with raspberry jam.
 
2005-01-07 11:54:13 AM  
Or maple syrup. Mmmm, syrup.
 
2005-01-07 12:10:12 PM  
Up to 41 months in prison just for being an annoying prick? Wow, I'm getting some ideas...
 
2005-01-07 12:12:52 PM  
Or raw sewage. Mmmm, raw sewage.
 
2005-01-07 12:13:58 PM  
Or monkeys. Mmmmm, monkeys.
 
2005-01-07 12:17:44 PM  
Or bacon-flavored clitoris. Hmmm, bacon.

doccm9: Or raw sewage. Mmmm, raw sewage.

The Phillies already did that with their performance last season.
 
2005-01-07 12:28:00 PM  
I used to get these e-mails. I'm not sure how I got on the list, but they were well-written and contained often-hilarious vitriolic speeches.
 
2005-01-07 12:39:32 PM  
And the Phanatic STILL won't go out with him.
 
2005-01-07 01:04:22 PM  
more info
Allan Carlson is an admittedly "obsessive" Phillies fan, maybe even an egomaniac, who insists he meant no harm.

In 2001 and 2002 he spent about 70 hours a week, "maybe psychotically so," his lawyer says, posting baseball-related rants on the Internet through his apartment computer.

Disgusted by the baseball team's dismal history, Carlson caused thousands of e-mails to be sent to the club and to local sportswriters and editors at the Daily News and Inquirer.

Carlson, 41, a man of average height and an unsteady work history who wears his wavy brown and gray hair pulled back into a snub-nosed ponytail, "hacked" into others' computers to do it, so the true sender couldn't be traced.

The flood of e-mails clogged up recipients' mailboxes at various times and cost more than $10,000 to unclog, prosecutors contend.

On trial in federal court in Philadelphia in the alleged e-mail "attacks" on the newspapers and on the Phillies organization and others, Carlson got in the witness box yesterday and insisted he had been trying only to get his message out that the Phillies stink.

Mark Wilson, a court-appointed public defender, argued to the jury that although Carlson's conduct had been "reprehensible" and that some might think of him as racist, there was insufficient proof that he intended to commit a federal crime and should be acquitted.

Carlson, who grew up in South Jersey but moved to Southern California about 20 years ago, insisted that he intended for the e-mails to reach other fans.

He made it look like the sportswriters and editors had sent the anti-Phillies-organization e-mails, by putting their e-mail addresses on the sender lines.
 
2005-01-07 01:20:26 PM  
I hear that they'll lighten his sentence if he agrees to be the Phils fifth starter.

Friggin bums.
 
2005-01-07 03:10:43 PM  
Oh please! There are more pressing matters in the world to worry bout than a guy who has no life.
 
2005-01-07 06:12:13 PM  
Ang6666:

Oh please! There are more pressing matters in the world to worry bout than a guy who has no life.

*99% of those reading this run out of the room crying.*
 
2005-01-07 06:14:14 PM  
"Grown man, still living with parents..."

What's his Fark login? Anyone?
 
2005-01-07 06:16:07 PM  
Carlson, 41, a man of average height and an unsteady work history who wears his wavy brown and gray hair pulled back into a snub-nosed ponytail, "hacked" into others' computers to do it, so the true sender couldn't be traced.

[image from dreamscape.com too old to be available]
 
2005-01-07 06:17:50 PM  
2005-01-07 06:14:14 PM Henchman


"Grown man, still living with parents..."

What's his Fark login? Anyone?


Anyone seen JohnDX lately?
 
2005-01-07 06:18:12 PM  
Skull: I raped 10 women and killed 2 of em, what ya in for?

Bubba: I'm in for killing a family of 5 just for fun. What ya in for....

Allan Carlson: Spam

"And they alllllll backed away from me....."

Allan Carlson: And creating a public nuisance...

And they all gathered round on the group W bench.....
 
2005-01-07 06:21:22 PM  
I can see it now.
Brutus the Impaler: Whatr' ya in fer.
Philly Phanatic: I spent days in my mothers basement creating email addresses and spamming Phillies management.
Brutus the Impaler: Thats so sexy
(cut scene to Brutus stroking Philly gently with a feather)
Philly: Oooh that tickles, Brutus you know my mom used to tell me I was handsome, tell me Im pretty Brutus.
Brutus the Impaler: I think your pink eye is paramounted only by your lips
Philly: giggles
 
2005-01-07 06:21:27 PM  
Mark Wilson, a court-appointed public defender, argued to the jury that although Carlson's conduct had been "reprehensible" and that some might think of him as racist, there was insufficient proof that he intended to commit a federal crime and should be acquitted.

Racist? What did he do that was racist? It's not like he chose to burden the Cleveland Indians.

Nevertheless, he's an idiot.
 
2005-01-07 06:23:28 PM  
God why are you taking my prison sex scene idea? Great minds I suppose, good to know I'm on the same level as God.
 
2005-01-07 06:26:00 PM  
Obviously.
 
2005-01-07 06:26:03 PM  
sirbongalot: Thats just disturbing! Funny, but disturbing nevertheless.
 
2005-01-07 06:31:22 PM  
Sure, send the guy to jail, that's fine.

Just please tell me the Phils management is going on trial for it's atrocities soon.

/bitter? no, not at all.
 
2005-01-07 06:32:10 PM  
 
2005-01-07 06:35:40 PM  
"a man of average height with an unsteady work history"

Damn, can I reserve that for a future obituary headline?

Not my own, but I know many for whom it would be perfect.
 
2005-01-07 06:36:19 PM  
supergimpman4
He's living with his parents and he's 41...he probably wasn't getting any to begin with.
 
2005-01-07 06:36:26 PM  
Everyone seems to think this slob's crime doesn't merit serious punishment, but anyone who's ever had to contend with a system-ravaging virus cooked up by some masturbating social misfit living in his parent's basement knows the truth: death is too good for him. Send him off to Shawshank for a live webcast gangrape for the benefit of all the dorks who couldn't get laid in high school and now take it out on the rest of us in the form of internet terrorism. If we come down hard on a few of them now, the future will be better for the rest of us. Guaranteed.
 
2005-01-07 06:38:42 PM  
In light of the recent disaster I feel it's very insensitive of the submitter to use the word "flood" in the headline. It made me sad, I demand an apology.
 
2005-01-07 06:50:31 PM  
At what age does a script kiddie just become a plain old loser?
 
2005-01-07 06:52:22 PM  
wjayr death is too good for him. Send him off to Shawshank for a live webcast gangrape

um, republican?
 
2005-01-07 07:01:35 PM  
what was his fark name?
 
2005-01-07 07:01:48 PM  
Being athiest, I like what GOD had to say in this thread.
;-)
 
2005-01-07 07:03:04 PM  
Major Thomb: 21...b/c that is when they can go drink and gamble

-IR
 
2005-01-07 07:04:12 PM  
john_frink
Veeeerry close. One detail you missed: Comic Book Guy doesn't use contractions.

More words help to reinforce the "Big me, little you" complex he has.

I did laugh, though.
 
2005-01-07 07:05:18 PM  
mmmm....

Spambled egg muffin
 
2005-01-07 07:08:59 PM  
So the asshats who locked their kid in the trunk get probation but this moron gets actual jail time????

What a country!!!!!
 
2005-01-07 07:09:45 PM  
Spam attacks ok for citzens

Spam attacks not ok for businesses


geee....this is suprising.
 
2005-01-07 07:11:35 PM  
brookswashere


if they had locked a journalist email account in their trunk they would have got jail time too...

/so obvioous
 
2005-01-07 07:17:21 PM  
OH. MY. GOD! I'm pretty sure that's one of our fellow farkers, Weaps! I guess we won't be seeing any of his photoshops for a while. Thank god they didn't mention he was a tfer in the article.
 
2005-01-07 07:22:22 PM  
41 months in prison .... for each of the 41 years he's wasted .....(Wonder if his parents are proud?)

"Oh, Junior is so talented with that computer of his. I tell all my Bingo friends when they say he's a loser and insist I throw him out. But I can't do that .... he makes such good Tuna Casserole!"
 
2005-01-07 07:27:35 PM  
who cares. baseball sucks
 
2005-01-07 07:30:08 PM  
I imagine if he is a Fark member .... we, ummm, have to be sympathetic? Mwahaahaa ....(probably not)
 
2005-01-07 07:37:56 PM  
Age 41 and living with parents,.........

First thing I thought was, I wonder what his Fark user name is.
 
2005-01-07 07:38:58 PM  
I guess he won't be living with his parents for the next three years or so!

/meet your new roommate, his name's Bubba
//farkin' spammer
 
2005-01-07 07:48:30 PM  
41 years in jail...he should be getting out just about the time the Phils start to contend for the NL Pennant again...what a bunch of farkin' asshats running this team.
 
2005-01-07 07:50:23 PM  
"Age 41 and living with parents,.........

First thing I thought was, I wonder what his Fark user name is."

Johndoug is my guess

/hates that farker
 
2005-01-07 07:54:46 PM  
41 months, not years (but how I wish spammers could get years looking at steel bars ... ah yes)
 
2005-01-07 07:55:27 PM  
the "real" phillie phanatic...

[image from silverscreentest.com too old to be available]
 
2005-01-07 08:12:04 PM  
The spammer got more hits than the Phils last year.
 
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