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(   China's 1.3 billionth baby: "Hi." China: "Um, yay, we think"   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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11468 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2005 at 11:08 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2005-01-06 10:27:22 AM  
A talking newborn baby!!?!
2005-01-06 11:12:38 AM  
Clearly a special child, what with the speaking English at birth thing.
2005-01-06 11:13:15 AM  
soylent green anyone?
2005-01-06 11:13:22 AM  
They were just happy that she was healthy and, according to the Chinese Lunar calendar, born "at the tail of the monkey and the head of the chicken".

Much like the esquilax! A horse with the head of a rabbit, and the body... of a rabbit.
2005-01-06 11:13:27 AM  
2005-01-06 11:13:32 AM  
Yeah, you'd think she would speak Chinese at least.
2005-01-06 11:13:45 AM  
I, for one, will have an egg roll in the child's honor
2005-01-06 11:13:55 AM  
So I take it she was not drowned so they could try for a boy instead.
2005-01-06 11:14:18 AM  
Another one was born an hour later.
2005-01-06 11:14:28 AM  
How many (forced) abortions in china last year?
2005-01-06 11:15:50 AM  
2005-01-06 11:17:08 AM  
anyone here ever watch "the dying room"? Basically a room where they dump thier baby girls so they can try for a boy. Supposedly they are dropped at "orphanages" however these places are not really that. I saw video of little kids starving to death, bound to chairs and just basically left to die. Pretty sick and disturbing stuff.
2005-01-06 11:17:16 AM  
I wonder if when they get over 2,147,483,647 people the chinese government will announce that the chinese populace have all died?
2005-01-06 11:18:24 AM  
I'm amazed that the Chinese newborn said Hi and yet my 2 year old just learned "Hi" as a greeting this week.

/sees how far we are behind the Chinese
2005-01-06 11:19:43 AM  
overdone, but here it is....

1.3 billion? More like 2 billion, but they don't keep the girls.
2005-01-06 11:19:51 AM  
He will never be able to read this sentence (even if he learns English).
2005-01-06 11:20:16 AM  
I dunno, my son said "ma" (with the tone meaning horse, not the one meaning Mom) within four hours of being born. Chinese couple with wailing newborn were in the next unit.

/probably coincidence
//really got nothin'
2005-01-06 11:20:21 AM  
Hahahaha, that is pure nerd comedy! you win!
2005-01-06 11:20:52 AM  
The baby is what we in the medical field call a "dude"
2005-01-06 11:21:10 AM  
1.3 billion kids?!?!?

That woman is such a ho.
2005-01-06 11:24:55 AM  
So who's ahead now? China or McDonald's?
2005-01-06 11:26:23 AM  
Chalk up another birth to the Planned Parenthood condom !
2005-01-06 11:28:15 AM  
That's not chicken!
/dericious baby
2005-01-06 11:28:59 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
1.3 birron!
2005-01-06 11:29:02 AM  
That's cat man!


I delivered those dudes yesterday!
2005-01-06 11:30:27 AM  
"More Children, More Happiness"

This slogan of Chairman Mao's should tell us all we want to know about ruling by slogan.

Be glad that we Prevented the Liberal Media from Stealing Christmas!

2005-01-06 11:31:11 AM  
mattberg: They do *generally* keep the girls, actually. Gender-based abortion was far more common in the mid '80s, when forced late-term abortions were also common as counties tried to make their live birth quotas (shudder). I don't mean to downplay the Dying Rooms, because these terrible "orphanages" do exist, but they are far more isolated incidences than unprofessional rabble-rousers like author and "researcher" Steven Mosher would have you believe.

Huge campaigns to teach people to value girls have been largely successful in cities, and in rural areas if you don't get a boy the first time around you are often allowed to have a second child seven years later. The one-child family policy was introduced before 1982 ('78 or '79, as I recall), and has fluctuated wildly between permissiveness and harsh authoritarian practices, often depending on the region. It's a very complicated law, with loads of exceptions depending on the parents' geographic location, ethnic background, age, and even profession.

Other Asian countries are just as bad or worse for aborting girl fetuses, but don't get the attention because there's no official limit to the number of kids they can have.

/has done way too much research work on one-child policy
2005-01-06 11:33:52 AM  
How's this for a slogan:

"More than one child is feudal thinking, no children is bourgeois thinking, only one child is truly proletariat thinking."

Even with a population problem, the government is discouraging urban couples from choosing to remain childless.
2005-01-06 11:34:33 AM  
Don't just stand there--clean her up and get her in there to assemble these VCRs! Walmart is really busting our balls on this order!
2005-01-06 11:36:26 AM  
1.3 billion people is disgusting. That's a lot of sewage and smog. I wish everyone would institute a one child policy because people are obviously too stupid to refrain from over-reproduction on their own. Big families suck.
2005-01-06 11:37:59 AM  
In China there 650 one-in-a-million girls.
2005-01-06 11:39:56 AM  
1,300,000,000. That means you could have those "one-in-a-million" qualities, and there would be 1,000 people EXACTLY like you.

Some General: We will invade China
China: Go ahead, we have more people than you have bullets.
2005-01-06 11:41:34 AM  
they like to do the nastay.
2005-01-06 11:41:35 AM  
No need to worry about China taking over the world from the U.S. Their population will get old before it gets rich. U.S. got rich before it got old. Very different scenarios dealing with the costs of an old population between the two.
2005-01-06 11:44:15 AM  
You think there will be a pensions crisis in China?
2005-01-06 11:46:48 AM  

Huge campaigns to teach people to value girls have been largely successful in cities

I personally value chinese girls highly.

/yellow fever
2005-01-06 11:47:24 AM  
Some book I read a few weeks ago says that China is running out of girls and will have (in the near future) a large male population on it's hands likely to grow violent because of the lack of sex.

I guess that makes her a lucky girl?
2005-01-06 11:47:58 AM  
China 1,288,307,100
India 1,088,056,200
USA 293,271,500
Indonesia 221,777,700
Brazil 179,383,500
Pakistan 157,056,000
Nigeria 154,491,100
Russia 146,697,800
Bangladesh 133,581,700
Japan 127,853,600
2005-01-06 11:48:31 AM  
"Did you say... redicurous?"

2005-01-06 11:48:53 AM  

"I personally value chinese girls highly.

/yellow fever"

snorting coffee out my nose now, thankyouverymuch . . .
2005-01-06 11:49:30 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
We're all so excited.
2005-01-06 11:50:20 AM  
I wonder if the kid will learn how to sing "Deck the hawrs"

/Hard to spell that one like it sounds
2005-01-06 11:51:31 AM  
I don't get jepah's joke...
2005-01-06 11:54:26 AM  
Interesting theory I heard: The one-child policy will be the downfall of China, because parents naturally spoil only children ('tis true, I'm one), the kids will grow up with a sense of me-first entitlement that will force the leadership to adopt more economic and political reforms or deal with a bunch of very unhappy people.

Spare the rod, make a future capitalist.
2005-01-06 11:55:38 AM  
On conception night:

Father: Honey, I wanna 69!

Mother: Why you want Brocolli Beef?

[rim shot]
2005-01-06 11:55:55 AM  
props to wnatw and eggrolls for makin me "lol" mid-class.
2005-01-06 11:55:56 AM  

It wasn't particularly funny, but I had an image of the Chinese police shooting civilians to match the Government's computer figures.
2005-01-06 11:57:02 AM  

2005-01-06 11:57:44 AM  
We out Fark all you round eyed devils..
[image from too old to be available]

/ The Chairman commands it.
2005-01-06 11:58:12 AM  
And just think, if it hadn't been for Japan, China would have passed this threshold decades ago.
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