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(Scotsman)   Thirteen-year-old girl unwraps birthday present to find DVD player, complete with free copy of the Paris Hilton sex video   (news.scotsman.com) divider line 151
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40357 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jan 2005 at 3:08 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-06 08:18:12 AM  
Man, how lucky. I got the one with the Janet Reno sex video.
 
2005-01-06 08:25:33 AM  
All I got was this lousy hot cocoa sampler box.
 
2005-01-06 08:26:44 AM  
Man, that's insane!


cuddlebutt - hahahahaha. you never did thank me for that, by the way...
 
2005-01-06 08:27:10 AM  
Mine was all about threesomes.
 
2005-01-06 08:31:04 AM  
I just got a crappy copy of Johnson Family Vacation


*ripped off*
 
2005-01-06 08:41:58 AM  
giftedrhonda: "cuddlebutt - hahahahaha. you never did thank me for that, by the way..."

Ahhhhh, thank you?
 
2005-01-06 08:42:12 AM  
but did she get the Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset too
 
2005-01-06 08:48:41 AM  
My wife has been bugging me to download this for a while now.

She seems to think that everyone on the planet has seen it and the Pam and Tommy video but her.

/off to download
 
2005-01-06 09:05:13 AM  
Worthless without pics?

/sorry
 
2005-01-06 09:21:20 AM  
I bought a VCR at Best Buy about 5 years ago. It was an opened item, priced at $46.75. I had a $50.00 credit, and this was back when BB would actually give you change instead of making you come back with the card to buy something tiny.

We get it home, and plug it in, and my wife notices it's got a video in it. "Great American Beaver Hunt." She figures it's a wildlife video (I know, I know) and presses play.

We laughed for days. Free VCR, free porno, and change back. The day just can't get better than that.
 
2005-01-06 09:33:23 AM  
Anti-porn campaigners today said they were concerned the DVD had been planted maliciously and that there may be more out there.

Dvd Player Sales up 200%
 
2005-01-06 09:36:28 AM  
Link seems to be broken.
 
2005-01-06 10:02:58 AM  
In other news, Drew mourns the loss of his favorite DVD. Sources say the DVD may have been My Little Red Pony but details are still Sketchy.
 
2005-01-06 11:22:48 AM  
In other news: "where the hell is my paris hilton dvd?!"
 
2005-01-06 03:12:27 PM  
There's something about that Picasso-esque face and long lanky body that I find sexy...

Oh. Right. She's a billionaire.
 
2005-01-06 03:12:43 PM  
That's Hot.

Oh, wait...
 
2005-01-06 03:12:50 PM  
At thirteen she's probably already gone much further herself.
 
2005-01-06 03:12:53 PM  
I am the first to say.....

That's HOT!
 
2005-01-06 03:13:00 PM  
Oh no! That could scar her for life!!!

I mean, what if she ends up learning bad technique from watching Paris? It could take years for her to get it right when she's older.
 
2005-01-06 03:13:39 PM  
ok, second.
 
2005-01-06 03:13:43 PM  
Does this complete the trifecta?
 
2005-01-06 03:14:00 PM  
I still haven't seen the video. I'd like to see her hooters, so someone feel free to post a link for me. Seriously.
 
2005-01-06 03:15:02 PM  
mangus

As far as homemade videos go, this one ain't so bad. It beats watching Pam and Tommy talk like 13 year olds.

/searching for link
 
2005-01-06 03:15:11 PM  
darn, i just returned a dvd player the other day. i should have thrown in a copy of "schindler's fist" for a lucky viewer...
 
2005-01-06 03:16:04 PM  
This is the real link:



The one given is farked.
 
2005-01-06 03:16:11 PM  
Teenagers "shocked" by porn. Where's the "unlikely" tag when you need it?
 
2005-01-06 03:16:13 PM  
Did I miss the train for the obligatory pirate joke?

/yarrrr... I hate the sea, and everting in it...
 
2005-01-06 03:16:35 PM  
Thirteen-year-old girl unwraps birthday present to find DVD player, complete with free copy of the Paris Hilton sex video

she's probably already seen it

/haven't seen it
/just sayin'
 
2005-01-06 03:16:54 PM  
/awaiting "Back Door Sluts 9" South Park reference.
 
2005-01-06 03:16:55 PM  
Catherine Harper, spokeswoman for Scottish Women Against Pornography ? Oh, you mean S.W.A.P. !!!

swap,swap,fwap
 
2005-01-06 03:16:57 PM  
And the 13 year old was quoted as saying 'I've sucked better dick than that in the playground'
 
2005-01-06 03:17:05 PM  
Hah, this beats the "farkME" Cabbage Patch kid thread below.
 
2005-01-06 03:17:06 PM  
To: Jessica
Love: Dad
 
2005-01-06 03:18:28 PM  
Legalize It wins the thread. Go home people.
 
Ral
2005-01-06 03:19:00 PM  
She seems to think that everyone on the planet has seen it and the Pam and Tommy video but her.

I haven't. I have no particular desire to, either.
 
2005-01-06 03:19:03 PM  
casperddc
Thanks, I spit all over my desk reading that.
 
2005-01-06 03:19:04 PM  
Legalize It:
To: Jessica
Love: Dad


Hahaha!!! Yes, that definitely won.
 
2005-01-06 03:19:19 PM  
When I was 13 all we had was one used hustler magazine that got traded around the neighborhood.

damn technology is cool.
 
2005-01-06 03:19:31 PM  

"Catherine Harper, spokeswoman for Scottish Women Against Pornography, said: ..."(pornography) is everywhere, and even if you are not looking for it, as this case demonstrates, it will find you by one means or another."


Lady, you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear those very words. Please tell Asia Carerra and Traci Lords I'll be home after 6pm tonite.

 
2005-01-06 03:19:51 PM  
A neighbor was moving to Alaska and was selling all his stuff at a huge discount and I got his VCR for $15 and had a 2 hr porn tape in it that he forgot about. :O)
 
2005-01-06 03:20:50 PM  
skinink:

Lady, you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear those very words. Please tell Asia Carerra and Traci Lords I'll be home after 6pm tonite.

C'mon, be honest, you could leave work early for one night. He'll be home after 4:30.

0ok
 
2005-01-06 03:21:59 PM  
Christmas presents for kids:

f word with monsters GBA game
f word in cabbage patch kid certificate
sex video in DVD player

Isn't that a trifecta right there?
 
2005-01-06 03:22:04 PM  
I really do feel sorry for the kid. I mean, Paris Hilton's sex video is a terrible porno video. The manufacturer could have at least planted some good porno.
 
2005-01-06 03:22:26 PM  
Just as Charlie found the last golden ticket in the wonka bar, she found the last Hilton DVD in the DVD player. Does she get to meet Paris to be able to inherit the Paris Hilton Legacy?
 
2005-01-06 03:23:27 PM  
I really do feel sorry for the kid. I mean, Paris Hilton's sex video is a terrible porno video. The manufacturer could have at least planted some good porno.

Agreed. Some old school Seka er somethin'.

/I mean...porno? What's that?
 
2005-01-06 03:23:32 PM  
Look on the bright side: it could have been the Joanie "Chyna" Laurer movie instead.
 
2005-01-06 03:24:03 PM  
I never had anyone return a dvd player with a porn in it at circuit city. But my friend did get a free couch from a friend and in the couch and in the couch was a cig box with a roach clip complete with roach and a tape that just had "XXX" on it. So we (we being about 6 people) popped it in and to our suprise it was gay porn. after we figured out that it was gay porn we remembered that our friend had a gay roommate

/and that is why i will never get a couch from a friend again.
 
2005-01-06 03:24:07 PM  
Won't someone please think of Beki and Jayms?

/Lovejoy
 
2005-01-06 03:24:15 PM  
Sure was a LOOOOONG article for such a non-story
 
2005-01-06 03:24:22 PM  
At least it wasn't a video of a weird lady combing her hair in a mirror and images of dead horses. I got one of those a couple years ago when I was on vacation with my friends in a mountain cabin...bad news...
 
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