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(Gawker)   The only Orange Bowl performance worse than Oklahoma's was Ashlee Simpson's   (gawker.com ) divider line
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61049 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2005 at 9:51 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-05 12:03:39 PM  
2005-01-05 11:58:00 AM Mr. Clarence Butterworth

sigdiamond2000

I stand by my condemnation. They're one hit novelty wankers.


Sorry about the "Ned's" barb. I scrolled down your profile and saw that you were a MST3K fan, so you're officially the tops in my book. Doesn't mean you aren't still wrong about The White Stripes, though.

2005-01-05 11:57:50 AM Theburner

Never met anyone from the thought police before. Can I have your email address so that next time I have to form an opinion I can email you first to make sure I have the right one?

I'm not allowed to have an opinion about your posts? Thought police?
 
2005-01-05 12:04:59 PM  
I came in here thinking this was about the game....whoops!
 
2005-01-05 12:06:05 PM  
jbtilley: The current music isn't even worth $free$.

Very true. It's been an awful long time since I downloaded any music, and last two bunches of CDs I bought were from France and Japan.

I did have a good laugh when I found out that my 9-year-old french-only-speaking cousin bought an Eminem album. It certainly answered a lot of questions I have about who actually buys Eminem albums.
 
2005-01-05 12:07:33 PM  
Maybe I'm joining the flamewar a little late, but it occurred to me: who is the braintrust that decided Ashlee Simpson is the ideal star to have during a FOOTBALL halftime show. What would Ashlee's appeal be to the 21-60 male demographic? That she's semi-attractive? It wasn't until ABC's shameless subliminal advertising with their hyped up "MUSIC HIGHLIGHT" of the first half with the *WORLD PREMIER* U2 music video (of a song that has absolutely nothing to do with football in the first place) that I realized what profits those programming money-mongers are trying to fleece from us consumers and watchers of football!

All of the music acts of the night (including U2) are somehow someway tied to Sony/Vivendi Universal's holdings in record labels. Look them up - they're all under the same umbrella. So what does this have to do with ABC? Well, the biggest holding in Vivendi's library of labels is RCA records. Back in the 1930's, RCA was a big player in the television and radio arenas. They also produced record players and the vinyl records themselves... It doesn't take a genius to deduce they could make a profit by having their own record label as well... What's more, as a big player in radio and seeing the profitability of the new-fangled television, they started ABC. So through the years, RCA Records has fallen into different hands but it's all a charade created to funnel their crappy music down our throats through their corporate puppets.

It really pisses me off to watch a game of football nowadays(especially Sunday and Monday Night Football [ESPN (ie Disney, ie ABC) and ABC respectively] and have all this extra music shiat thrown at us... I want to watch football, dammit - not be subliminally affronted with your crappy music that I would never buy in the first place. It almost makes me want to download that shiat out of principle, but then I remember that I'm a lazy sack of shiat.
 
2005-01-05 12:07:35 PM  
sigdiamond2000

Of course I'm probably wrong, I'm just at that age where everything new I hear sounds like it's been done before.
 
2005-01-05 12:07:53 PM  
Ashlee Simpson is a real world case of that Brady Bunch episode when Greg thought he was going to be a rock superstar only to find out he got the part cause he "fit the suit".

Ashlee Simpson is the new Johnny Bravo.
 
Ant
2005-01-05 12:08:25 PM  
Special J:

Egad Ant! I didn't think anyone remembered With Sympathy. Would you believe I actually own that CD?

I own it too. Occasionally, one of the songs from it will pop up on my mp3 jukebox's random 3000 song playlist. It's not THAT bad...
 
2005-01-05 12:08:38 PM  
For those feeling sympathy for Simpson for having to bear the horror of booing....

The first time she has to spend two hours not only being booed, but dodging flying glass bottles and having beer poured on her only to be told after the gig that not enough people passed through the door to cover your beer tab (much less get paid) ... then she might experience what its like to be a REAL musician playing your average dive gig.
 
2005-01-05 12:08:40 PM  
The expectation used to be that Jessica would eventually give us the tatas in playboy. A continued string of these performances and waning popularity by Ashlee, pretty much guaranteed due to her total lack of talent, changes that expectation to Ashlee doing hardcore pr0n. Since she's not pretty enough to appear in vivid video type releases, we should expect some "Backdoor Ashlee" videos coming down the pipe in say, 13 months.
 
2005-01-05 12:09:09 PM  
DISPOSABLE and ANT:

Of all the bands who changed their sound for sales, Ministry is a terrible example. Is their early stuff way too poppy, sure, but it didnt take a record exec to make them more pissed/punk. Look at all of the side projects: Pailhead, Revco, 1000 Homo DJs and Lard. No exec was telling them what to do and they are alot like the Ministry of "Land" and "Mind".

If you want a band who was changed by execs I give you No Doubt (straight Ska before being signed) or Sugar Ray (always horrible, but a different type of horrible before they started writing ballads). There are tons of bands who have sold out, I really dont think Ministry is one of them.
 
2005-01-05 12:09:20 PM  
Her lyrics are all about her being a cum guzzling slut. Loved the boos.
 
2005-01-05 12:09:35 PM  
Sigdiamond2000

Whoa there chief.. I didn't pass judgement on your what you said... Just pointed out in a distinct way that thoughts can differ. Nice attempt at a reversal.
 
2005-01-05 12:10:08 PM  
gargantuan98: Pop star sisters JESSICA AND ASHLEE SIMPSON have a secret talent - they can burp the alphabet.

That still would have sounded better than Ashlee's caterwauling at the halftime show.
 
2005-01-05 12:10:18 PM  
Thread is spent.. Lunch time.. Asta..
 
2005-01-05 12:10:40 PM  
2005-01-05 12:01:31 PM LittleSmitty

"I'm guessing that we should see the Ashlee Simpson sex tape any day now."

Do you think she lip synchs that one too?


Best comment on the whole thread so far.
 
2005-01-05 12:12:04 PM  
What do you think her dad is saying to her after this?

"They weren't booing at you, it was at the poor sound quality"
 
2005-01-05 12:12:11 PM  
And I'm agreeing with everyone that that Anarchy symbol on the drumset is one of the funniest, lamest, phoniest things I've every seen.

Anarchy means, like, no hotel suites with hot-and-cold running water, right?
 
2005-01-05 12:12:21 PM  
sigdiamond2000:

2005-01-05 11:42:37 AM Rev. Skarekroe

Apparently you've both forgotten "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)" by the Crystals.

Speaking of disturbing, if I recall correctly, you're the Farker who once posted some Charlie White photos which disturbed me so much I had to go out and buy one of his books. This led to months of nightmares.

So thanks.


Just doing my job, citizen!
 
2005-01-05 12:12:50 PM  
I have always wondered why the anarchy symbol is drawn the same way by everyone who uses it.
 
2005-01-05 12:13:01 PM  
The end of the Star Spangled Banner should be sung more slowly than the beginning. However, singing at the same tempo would be much more preferable to the current popular situation: not finishing the song at all.

"All Four Stanzas":
http://www.purewatergazette.net/asimov.htm
 
2005-01-05 12:13:14 PM  
They weren't booing AT her, they were booing WITH her.

/luv ya, mom!
 
2005-01-05 12:13:17 PM  
the game sucked. that is all.
 
2005-01-05 12:13:22 PM  
Egad Ant! I didn't think anyone remembered With Sympathy. Would you believe I actually own that CD?

I have a friend who did some art design for Ministry and got to spend some time hanging out with Al backstage at some shows and events. He said one time a starry eyed fan went up to Al with a Sympathy on vinyl, still wraped in its cellaphane, mint condition and asked Al to sign it. You could see Al's eyes roll into the back of his head, ripped the album out of the cellephane, autographed it and clumsily stuffed it back into the wrapper. That album is the bane of his existence.
 
2005-01-05 12:13:31 PM  
Best halftime show I ever saw was a dog chasing a frisbee.
 
2005-01-05 12:14:02 PM  
Two words: Black. Metal.
 
2005-01-05 12:14:07 PM  
I thought that anarchy symbol made her look fat.

/apply salt to gaping flesh wound that is AS' career. Rub vigorously
 
2005-01-05 12:14:56 PM  
Enuratique - Don't forget the continual cutaways to Mickey Mouse dancing on the sidelines. ugh, I wanted to throw my beer through the TV.

/Disney sucks
 
Ant
2005-01-05 12:15:32 PM  
Mr. Clarence Butterworth: ....and the White Stripes suck.

Jack White just needs to dump his sister/ex-wife/whatever, get a real drummer and find a bassist.
 
2005-01-05 12:15:49 PM  
LoveInAction

And I'm agreeing with everyone that that Anarchy symbol on the drumset is one of the funniest, lamest, phoniest things I've every seen.

Anarchy means, like, no hotel suites with hot-and-cold running water, right?
 
2005-01-05 12:16:30 PM  
Traveling Bear

I'd like to rub myself vigorously after mangus's pic.
 
2005-01-05 12:16:47 PM  
In her defense (and I'm sure this won't be read), the anarchy symbol was on stage for all three performers, so I don't know if that was as much for Ashlee as an overall stupid move for the halftime show.

I was still happy that I was in the bathroom at the bar for most of her song being far more entertained by an advertisement for Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
 
2005-01-05 12:16:55 PM  
It's a simple solution, folks.

Ashley needs something in her mouth at all times that will keep her quiet.

Hmmm, I wonder what we could use?
 
2005-01-05 12:17:04 PM  
LoveInAction

"And I'm agreeing with everyone that that Anarchy symbol on the drumset is one of the funniest, lamest, phoniest things I've every seen.
Anarchy means, like, no hotel suites with hot-and-cold running water, right?"

Oh the irony gets even better when you throw in the fact that she has CHOREOGRAPHED DANCERS in her performance.
 
2005-01-05 12:17:15 PM  
kuhns_m

Culture refers to the collective beliefs, aspirations, behaviors and ideals of a people in their struggle to survive. Culturve evolved as the "glue" of more complex societies and allowed them to thrive. This is why there is comparatively little culture amongst the most primitive of peoples.

The ridiculous bands from the 1970's you mention were simply the beginning of cultural decay. They are nothing more than decadent nihilists, who feed the emotions of a depraved populace stuffed with the bounty of modern technology and the international financial system of usury profit. Their music is akin to the stench of rotting fruit.

In the end, Led Zepplin and Ashlee Simpson represent decadence. Their work does nothing to assist man in his struggle for survival. Their music does not evoke the highest of ideals upon which a successful and stable civilization is based, such as duty, honor, loyalty, and temperence.

When this sick civilization of ours collapses, no one will give a fsck about any pop stars or rockers of the post war world. Why? Because life will be hard, there will be immeasurable human suffering and the trite little tunes of the average drunk/drug addicted musician will offer little solace or inspiration.

Pop and rock music provides an escape from the regularity of an easy life. As soon as life ceases to be easy, all of this music will become irrelevan and forgotten.

Let the struggle for culture continue!
 
2005-01-05 12:18:06 PM  
Anarchy means, like, no hotel suites with hot-and-cold running water, right?

Heh heh. Yeah, I bet Ashlee's tour bus breaks down all the time, she has trouble with promoters and club owners over money and eats off the dollar menu at McDs while on tour.

Talentless phony wench.
 
2005-01-05 12:18:38 PM  
shibby1

Only to hacks.
 
2005-01-05 12:18:40 PM  
Oops...sorry about the pic. Here's the link.
 
2005-01-05 12:19:04 PM  
I'd hit it, hit her, hit the head, hit the lights and hit the road.

/wouldn't really hit her
//would hit her manager, though.
 
2005-01-05 12:19:38 PM  
Or, do anarchy groups have meetings?
 
2005-01-05 12:19:46 PM  
zutroy

...When The Artist Formerly Known As Big John Stud came on, you could hardly hear him...

That brings tears to my eyes.

/golf clap
 
2005-01-05 12:20:28 PM  
Or, do anarchy groups have meetings?

Yeah, but you get kicked out if you show up.
 
Ant
2005-01-05 12:21:21 PM  
JimmyThrash:

There are tons of bands who have sold out, I really dont think Ministry is one of them.

Actually, I was pointing to Ministry as an example of a band that, once the influence of the execs was gone, got their shiat together and started doing what they actually wanted to do.
 
2005-01-05 12:21:26 PM  
[image from rit.edu too old to be available]

hahahahaha

no wait.....

BAH HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
 
2005-01-05 12:22:21 PM  
Just like Ministry: 'cause I hate her!

She got exactly what she deserved. Reality is harsh, and it should be. The stupid biatch will have a hard time ignoring public opinion, now; and her promoters will have a very hard time pumping sunshine up her a$$, too. Saran Wrap clad cheerleaders are the only thing that would have helped her performance. THAT is what the male crowd wants to see!
 
2005-01-05 12:22:51 PM  
In real Rock News

Rock Band JOURNEY get there Star on the Walk of Fame

http://www.rockrage.com/headlines/2k4/december/Journey_121704.html

Journey's early days down the arena rock road has now ended at the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The band will receive their own star on January 21st.

The entire band (minus Steve Perry) that has sold over seventy-five million records since 1973, will be on hand to accept their award in front of the Musician's Institute at 6750 Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood, CA.

Journey will also be performing a Walk of Fame celebration show at the House Of Blues in West Hollywood, CA. The band has promised spontaneous jam sessions along with special surprise guests.

The award ceremony will begin at 11:30AM.

**************
 
2005-01-05 12:23:44 PM  
smokepuppet: I think a great number of you are just jealous of the money she is being paid vs. her talent quotient. Face it, she makes more than you and had no talent. Who is the real moran?

You right...the more money you have, the better person you are. Brilliant. You know who was richer than me? Hitler. Great guy. I really am a "moran".

This thread has officially been "Godman"ed, for those who didn't notice
 
2005-01-05 12:23:54 PM  
The ridiculous bands from the 1970's you mention were simply the beginning of cultural decay. They are nothing more than decadent nihilists, who feed the emotions of a depraved populace stuffed with the bounty of modern technology and the international financial system of usury profit. Their music is akin to the stench of rotting fruit.

Now you're not being fair to rotting fruit.
 
2005-01-05 12:24:56 PM  
jpiercy:

Since when was Journey a rock band?
 
2005-01-05 12:25:22 PM  
"The entire band (minus Steve Perry"

Steve Perry and Neil Schon WERE the band!
 
2005-01-05 12:25:43 PM  
You right...the more money you have, the better person you are. Brilliant. You know who was richer than me? Hitler. Great guy. I really am a "moran".

And Hitler had a girlfriend, too!
 
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