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(Gawker)   The only Orange Bowl performance worse than Oklahoma's was Ashlee Simpson's   (gawker.com) divider line 783
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61044 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2005 at 9:51 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-05 11:41:20 AM
Hate to burst anyone's bubble, but football crowds boo heavily at the end of just about every pop music-related halftime show I've ever seen.
 
2005-01-05 11:41:53 AM
You know, I'm not terribly fond of her sister, nor her sister's music, but at least the woman can SING.

Did you see that "Christmas Special". I caught one song: "Baby It's Cold Outside". How could you say "at least that woman can SING" and sleep at night. She butchered that song. What was with all those shrill high notes at the end of each line?

/why did I watch even 1 minute of that show?
 
2005-01-05 11:41:54 AM
Because ABC (or their sponsors) already had the men with the football game. They aren't worried about the men. They're going to tune into the game regardless. They want the women too. Which is why always put Britney Spears/ Beyonce/Elton John/Whitney/Gloria Estevan on the pre-game or half time show.

Makes sense! Thanks for setting an old man straight!

--at risk of burning up in flames-- The Polyphonic Spree, anyone?--
 
2005-01-05 11:42:00 AM
Hang On Voltaire:

Whats that word for taking pleasure in others misery? Schaden something. I got a raging case of it right now.

"Schadenfreude"

/German word, obviously
 
2005-01-05 11:42:07 AM
surrenderyoursushi

For all you folks who say it was the equipment's fault more than the puppet's fault: what did real musicians do before earpieces and feedbacks and big giant electrical setups to make their music pleasant? The same thing REAL musicians do without that help now.

"REAL" musicians do use monitors. Even your local band uses monitors. And I'm sure bands like the Beatles used monitors back in the day. All it is is another set of speakers pointed at the band instead of the crowd. A wireless earpiece is just the same thing. The reason is that if you can't hear yourself over the rest of the band, or if you can't hear the mix, it's hard to tell if you're in key or in time. In a stadium, the sound would be bouncing around so much and changing tone/pitch and echoing as a result that it would be very difficult to tell if you were in key.

Still no excuse for her horrible performance. There's no way she didn't have an earpiece (even multiple monitors on stage would probably be difficult to get right), and even if it was broken, I don't think that excuses her for her talentless caterwualing. If you lose the monitors midway through a song, it's annoying, but you certainly don't sing as bad as that (unless you're a talentless hack who can't sing in the first place... oh wait).
 
2005-01-05 11:42:14 AM
he next Nirvana is just around the corner to sweep all of this crap away

Which means there is already a new Pixies, Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr. out there waiting for you to buy their albums.
 
2005-01-05 11:42:36 AM
I can't believe nobody has suggested this useless hack be kicked in the box and shoved.
 
2005-01-05 11:42:37 AM
sigdiamond2000:

2005-01-05 11:25:00 AM TheGrayCat

Nothing compares to "Having my baby....what a lovely way of saying how much you love me!"

That's honestly one of the most disturbing songs in the history of music. It's up there with that "Too Close" R&B song about that dude poking that chick with his erect cock on the dancefloor.



Apparently you've both forgotten "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)" by the Crystals.
 
2005-01-05 11:43:00 AM
Dude, I prefer the Stones to the Beatles as well. But I'd rather by anally raped by all 4 Beatles simultaneously than listen to 10 minutes of Ashlee Simpson singing.

You know what, on second thought Ashlee's music is not that bad.
 
2005-01-05 11:43:16 AM
kcknsstm
There's no way she is stupid enough not to know that she can't sing worth shiat. And if I'm wrong about that, then she's too stupid for the booing to really bother her.


Or, getting paid too much money to worry about it. Face the facts.. I know I suck at singing, but I would take 100K to sing at halftime knowing I would get boo'd. If anyone says they wouldn't, well then you either don't need the 100K, or you are lying.

My bet is she knows she sucks, but likes the paychecks. I would ride that money train as long as I was able to also.

Y'all are just haters.
 
2005-01-05 11:44:14 AM
Life is tough. Wear a helmet
 
2005-01-05 11:45:00 AM
I think a great number of you are just jealous of the money she is being paid vs. her talent quotient. Face it, she makes more than you and had no talent. Who is the real moran?

You right...the more money you have, the better person you are. Brilliant.
You know who was richer than me? Hitler. Great guy. I really am a "moran".
 
2005-01-05 11:45:42 AM
/and p.s. don't call them "feedbacks," even though, as a musician that's actually kind of funny, I'm sure you didn't mean for it to be a joke.
//feedback is the earpiercing shrill sound when something goes horribly wrong in the sound system
///usually as a result of badly placed monitors
 
2005-01-05 11:45:43 AM
....and the White Stripes suck.
 
2005-01-05 11:47:36 AM
Smokepuppet
I really am a "moran".

You are correct sir. You are a moran. In no way shape or form did I say she is a better person than you because of her money. I did say that she obviously enjoys the money more than the booing disturbs her. I also said that the haters were jealous, not "lower people".

Now I understand your arguement, you are too stupid to even read.
 
2005-01-05 11:48:40 AM
2005-01-05 11:42:37 AM Rev. Skarekroe

Apparently you've both forgotten "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)" by the Crystals.

Speaking of disturbing, if I recall correctly, you're the Farker who once posted some Charlie White photos which disturbed me so much I had to go out and buy one of his books. This led to months of nightmares.

So thanks.
 
2005-01-05 11:48:44 AM
Ant: Exactly. Case in point:

A lyrical demonstration would be better:

From This:

Just like the wind you blew away your happy lover's touch
You bring the blues into my heart just like a rush
I cannot bear the way my heart has helped to keep you close
Of you my babe I cannot get enough
You touch me baby


To This:

Pneumatic drill
Right through her chest
Bedroom punching
Right through the rest
I'm gonna make her suffer
I'm gonna make her suffer
And then watch her die
Cos i hate her!
And then i'll fall past
I'm gonna flashback
 
2005-01-05 11:49:14 AM
Theburner: I would take 100K to sing at halftime knowing I would get boo'd. If anyone says they wouldn't, well then you either don't need the 100K, or you are lying.

I'll bite. I wouldn't do it, because my dignity is priceless. There's a lot to be said for keeping your dignity in tact.

And I DO need the 100K! Hehe.
 
2005-01-05 11:49:20 AM
Mr. Clarence Butterworth

Yeah, but Seven Nation Army ruled. No matter what you think of them, that song was farking TOUGH!
 
2005-01-05 11:50:26 AM
2005-01-05 11:43:16 AM Theburner

Y'all are just haters.

Again, translation: I'm an Ashlee Simpson fan.
 
2005-01-05 11:50:39 AM
I think a great number of you are just jealous of the money she is being paid vs. her talent quotient. Face it, she makes more than you and had no talent. Who is the real moran?,

Why not just say you're an Ashlee fan instead of spinning like Bill O'Reilly? Harsh criticism builds character, maybe Ashlee will learn instead of believing all the integrity-less clowns in the industry filling her head with air.
 
2005-01-05 11:50:52 AM
Theburner
Or, getting paid too much money to worry about it. Face the facts.. I know I suck at singing, but I would take 100K to sing at halftime knowing I would get boo'd. If anyone says they wouldn't, well then you either don't need the 100K, or you are lying.

My bet is she knows she sucks, but likes the paychecks. I would ride that money train as long as I was able to also.

Y'all are just haters.


My point is that she had to know she sucks. It doesn't matter what her dad, record execs, or anyone says... she has to know she sucks. If that's the case, the boos and this "harsh" critcism really shouldn't be a huge blow to her ego. If she truly had any sort of ego before, I really don't see this changing it much.
 
2005-01-05 11:51:03 AM
CapnUgly

I admire your stance, but I am betting that if the 100K was in cash at your feet, it would make your decision just a wee bit tougher than a hypothetical question posed on FARK. :)

But again, I admire your stance. Personally, I am a whore and wouldn't think twice. :)
 
2005-01-05 11:52:20 AM
Egad Ant! I didn't think anyone remembered With Sympathy. Would you believe I actually own that CD?

It is truly, truly awful.
 
2005-01-05 11:52:34 AM
sigdiamond2000

Not a fan at all, just someone with a slightly different perspective? BTW, was that supposed to be an insult or an observation? Just curious..
 
2005-01-05 11:53:19 AM
"The current music isn't even worth $free$. Sad."

If you're talking Top 40 I would agree. It's drum machines and trash talking. Either that or it sounds like the lead singer is getting strangled ala "American Idol".

There's good stuff out there but it's not "popular". Guess I'm a rebel or something.

Ashlee Simpson and the anarchy symbol - haha. Ya she's a total punk that's for sure! But why should she be real when the music industry is all about manufactured music anyways?
 
2005-01-05 11:53:29 AM
Wow, sorta glad I missed the whole fiasco. Except for Trace Adkins. In the stretch denim jeans. Rawr! Anyone know where I can find vid?
 
2005-01-05 11:53:51 AM
They're both too young for me, but if they weren't, the one I'd hit is the one who doesn't look like David Lee Roth.
 
2005-01-05 11:53:54 AM
I was also saying Boo-urns
 
2005-01-05 11:53:55 AM
2005-01-05 11:45:43 AM Mr. Clarence Butterworth

....and the White Stripes suck.

This coming from a guy who lists Ned's Atomic Dustbin among his favorite bands in his profile?

In your defense, you did also list My Bloody Valentine, so I guess you're not a total loss.
 
2005-01-05 11:54:03 AM
Theburner: "I would take 100K to sing at halftime knowing I would get boo'd. If anyone says they wouldn't, well then you either don't need the 100K, or you are lying."

CapnUgly:"I'll bite. I wouldn't do it, because my dignity is priceless. There's a lot to be said for keeping your dignity in tact."

My dignity has a price, and that price just happens to be $100,000. In fact, I'd dress up for the occasion and put on pants
 
2005-01-05 11:54:35 AM
kcknsstm

After watching some of the American Idol auditions, I have to say a great deal of people that suck don't seem to know it. It could be miriad of situations...

1) She sucks and knows it, but likes the paychecks.
2) She sucks and doesn't know it, but just found out!
3) Profit???
 
2005-01-05 11:55:14 AM
2005-01-05 11:52:34 AM Theburner

sigdiamond2000

Not a fan at all, just someone with a slightly different perspective?


Yeah, a warped one.

BTW, was that supposed to be an insult or an observation? Just curious..

Both.
 
2005-01-05 11:55:34 AM
Theburner

You make a very good point about cash at my feet having an influence, and I can't say that it wouldn't. I'd like to think I'd still keep my dignity and walk away.

But, judging by the sheer number of people on reality shows today, I guess everyone's dignity has a price. Mine's just a little higher...or a LOT higher, rather.
 
2005-01-05 11:55:40 AM
Cut her some slack, she was farm-raised on Santeria and voodoo.
 
2005-01-05 11:55:43 AM
LittleSmitty

A fellow whore! Welcome to the club! :)
 
2005-01-05 11:55:46 AM
Another big difference now is real talented musicians have to go out and earn a record contract.

How many years did the Beatles play the Cavern Club circut before thier first album? Three.

Dylan played for three or four years before his first album was released.

What were the Beatles and Dylan doing in those three or four years? Practicing, honing their craft, polishing their talent.

How long did Ashlee Simpson play before her first album?

3 weeks? Christ, she only heard demo's of her songs 5 days before recording.

Blah, give me real music, warts and all, I can take it.

Broktun | I may not have a pretty voice, but I can play guitar and sing at the same time. I do not play for money, but will play for beer
 
2005-01-05 11:57:26 AM
you know, i've heard her sing something impromptu on some tv show asking her to sing santa baby, and she wasn't bad at all. no, she's no whitney houston or kelly clarkson when it comes to vocals, but she could make it on broadway if she had histrionic personality disorder.
 
2005-01-05 11:57:50 AM
sigdiamond2000
Not a fan at all, just someone with a slightly different perspective?

Yeah, a warped one.


Never met anyone from the thought police before. Can I have your email address so that next time I have to form an opinion I can email you first to make sure I have the right one?
 
2005-01-05 11:57:53 AM
Clarence Butterworth you ignorant Slut.

Perhaps you were thinking that the White Stripes "Rock" but were so overpowered by their awesomeness that you mistakenly wrote "suck" This is the only excuse I can possibly imagine for such an immense error on your part
 
2005-01-05 11:58:00 AM
sigdiamond2000

I stand by my condemnation. They're one hit novelty wankers.
 
2005-01-05 11:58:33 AM
Ashlee Simpson rawks!!!1! I dyed my hair black like hurs!!11! She is so cul bcuz she isnt blond like her sis. Stop being mean, she is soooooooooooooooo cool ur jealous!!!!!!1!

/Have yet to find the 'sacrastic' code within HTML
 
2005-01-05 11:58:42 AM
"A fellow whore! Welcome to the club! :)"

It's nice to be recognised for something
 
2005-01-05 11:59:13 AM
Did anyone else watching think that Ashley had gotten a boob job? Or did she just gain weight?

Also, what the hell was that dance she did? Awful.

I thought the other two singers dealt with the obvious audio problems pretty well, considering how much of a nightmare that probable was.

And I'm agreeing with everyone that that Anarchy symbol on the drumset is one of the funniest, lamest, phoniest things I've every seen.
 
2005-01-05 12:00:03 PM
Thank God for this thread. I thought I was the only one who thought the Beatles were the most. overrated. band. ever.

Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion -- no matter how wrong it is!

Let's see, her career is in the tank. I'm guessing that we should see the Ashlee Simpson sex tape any day now.

It worked for Pam and Paris...
 
2005-01-05 12:00:59 PM
The REAL morans are people who pay money for the CDs and pay to see these lip synchers live. Lip synching at a live show without announcing that that's what you're doing should be illeagal.
 
2005-01-05 12:01:31 PM
"I'm guessing that we should see the Ashlee Simpson sex tape any day now."

Do you think she lip synchs that one too?
 
2005-01-05 12:03:17 PM
I like Ashlee Simpson - all she needs is folding teeth and she'd be the perfect woman...
 
2005-01-05 12:03:18 PM
"REAL" musicians do use monitors. Even your local band uses monitors. And I'm sure bands like the Beatles used monitors back in the day.

Back in the day, once amplification and percussion got to the point where you couldn't hear yourself any more, monitors were invented.

As lead player/vocalist in a band that's played all size venues, I can tell you that you MUST have monitors, even in a small venue, to be able to hear yourself well enough to give a good performance. It's very hard to give a good performance if you can't hear yourself. However, talented vocalists (unlike myself) can give a good performance no matter what the conditions. If your standing there with nothing but a mic in your hands, your job is to sing right, and if you can't hear yourself well enough to do your job, you put your finger in your ear or cup your hand so you can. The lead singer in my band is probably better than about 50% of current Nashville stars, and he always amazes me how well he can sing even if he can't hear himself at all. Me, I ain't that good, but I'm the guitar player, not the singer, so my top priority is to keep my fingers moving.

Monitors used to be wedge shaped speakers on the floor pointing up at you. Some people still use these, but most people have gone to in-ear monitors, because they ROCK! Floor monitors, unless you had a really good mix, tended to just be a whole lot of noise added to the stage sound and if you had any guitar or keys in the monitor mix, they would drown out the vocals because they inhabit the same sonic space. Then everyone starts turning everything up so they can hear it and eventually you have nothing but a deafening roar. Now with in-ear monitors, I have my vocal on one channel and everything else I need (which is usually just the other singer's vocal) on the other channel and I can adjust the levels myself. Best thing that's ever happened in musical technology, in my humble opinion.

"Stars" at Simspon's "level" have no excuse for turning in a poor performance even if they can't hear themselves. I hope Ashlee Simpson ends up being the final nail in the music industry's coffin where everyone wakes up and realizes that they're getting substandard crap shoved down their throats. At least Britney is purdy and Christina can sing, but as far as I can tell, Ashlee has no redeeming qualities and only has as much career as she has because her Dad really really really wants her to be famous like her sister.

You can polish that turd all you want, but...
 
2005-01-05 12:03:32 PM
2005-01-05 10:37:58 AM Keef94

The last--and maybe only--good halftime show was U2's post-9/11 performance at the 2002 Super Bowl.

AMEN to that! When they did "One," they didn't need anything but that screen behind them--but that happens with a REAL band. They can actually play (God, how I miss those days!).

 
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