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(Gawker)   The only Orange Bowl performance worse than Oklahoma's was Ashlee Simpson's   (gawker.com) divider line 783
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61045 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2005 at 9:51 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-05 11:02:43 AM
Mr. Clarence Butterworth, TheGreyCat, et al.

Record execs manipulate artists. Get over it. It was only after The Beatles sold tons of records could they go about things in their own way. In the beginning, The Beatles were told what to wear, what songs would be on what records in what country, etc. The difference between The Beatles of 1962 and Ashlee Simpson of 2005 was Lennon and McCartney had a little more talent.

And by "a little more" I mean a lot.
 
2005-01-05 11:03:01 AM
What really pissed me off about her performance was the insane use of the Anarchy symbol. That biatch has no use for it! What the hell is she trying to prove here, that she is a so-called "Punk"? I swear, the world needs less people like her and Avil lavine!
 
2005-01-05 11:04:01 AM
narturalbornfarker
She was just tying to show the depth of her emotions by expressiong them.... all. At once.

Ever watch Celine Dion's face/mouth while she's singing? Now THAT's entertainment.
 
2005-01-05 11:05:07 AM
Wife and I were watching the halftime and during Simpson's song I said to my wife, "This very well may be the worst song I have ever heard" Then the booing ensued. That was just icing on the cake.
 
2005-01-05 11:05:15 AM
Fell In Love With a Chair

You mean this one?

Yup, exactly. At first she looks relieved to be done, gasping, then hearing boos her eyes get wide in disbelief and the smile turns from a genuine emotion into an ego-shield facade in a heartbeat. It's really subtle but you can see it if you look closely. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown. In that heartbeat, a few of those 43 start twitching involuntarily and you can kinda tell she's in stool-sample land.
 
2005-01-05 11:05:33 AM
Per,
no they played in concert halls and ampitheathers... btw you conveniently left out the part where i said the electronics should be used for a BIGGER sound and new sounds. Not as a bandaid for lack of ability.
 
2005-01-05 11:05:39 AM
 
2005-01-05 11:05:55 AM
2005-01-05 10:59:20 AM surrenderyoursushi

Sig all the money in the world will not mend the emotional scars this chick will probably have.

Forgive me if I don't cry for her.

Hash browns, bacon strips
I like the way you lick your lips
Come on baby, eat the rich!


Ladies and gentlemen, we are Motorhead. And we're gonna kick your ass.

Best.Band.Evar.
 
2005-01-05 11:06:10 AM
Get over it.

You get over it.
 
2005-01-05 11:06:34 AM
Blade2567


In the 30 years I've watched sports, I think there's only one time when I thought a departure from your guidelines turned out rather well.

 
2005-01-05 11:06:38 AM
I agree that Ashley is a talentless hack, but I can't blame her for trying. I'm not that much into music, so my first real exposure to Gwen Stefani was watching her sing during the Superbowl halftime show. I wound up buying every No Doubt CD I could find. Mind you, I'm not looking for any of Ashley's work right now. But, if her performance had come off well, she would have earned many new fans.

As an aside, it's obvious that Ashley's answer was "Yes" to the Dead Kennedy's question, "Is my cock big enough, is my brain small enough, for you to make me a star?"
 
2005-01-05 11:07:03 AM
ASHLEE SIMPSON LYRICS
"La La"
You can dress me up in diamonds
You can dress me up in dirt
You can throw me like a line-man
I like it better when it hurts

Oh, I have waited here for you
I have waited

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
When I meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You can meet me on an aero-plane
Or in the back of the bus
You can throw me like a boomerang
I'll come back and beat you up

Oh, I have waited here for you
Dont, keep me waiting

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
When I meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
When I meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

I feel safe with you
I can be myself tonight
It's alright, with you
Cuz you hold, my secrets tight
You do, You do

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
When I meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
When I meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la

/ Case Closed "Worst Song Ever"
 
2005-01-05 11:07:35 AM
If you really want to vomit all over yourself, MTV is still running Ashlee's abhorrent show.
 
2005-01-05 11:07:38 AM
Those people paid top dollar for those tickets to be entertained.

Wow, here I thought they paid top dollar to see a football game.
 
2005-01-05 11:07:48 AM
2005-01-05 11:05:07 AM Hang On Voltaire

Wife and I were watching the halftime and during Simpson's song I said to my wife, "This very well may be the worst song I have ever heard" Then the booing ensued. That was just icing on the cake.

That booing honestly made me proud to be an American again.
 
2005-01-05 11:07:53 AM
AuntofDogface: Regardless of suckage, I think the boo-ing is rude and in bad taste.

If I had been in that stadium I would have booed as well, provided of course that I could stop myself laughing at the piss-poor show for long enough to boo. Those people live by performing. If they suck at it they should be booed.
 
2005-01-05 11:08:05 AM
Anyone have audio of that douchebag from Creed singing God Bless America??? I thought that was much worse than Miss Simpson's performance.
 
2005-01-05 11:08:35 AM
TheGrayCat: You're comparing a manufactured trollop like Ashlee Simpson to The Beatles?



The beatles were pretty daggone manufactured.
 
2005-01-05 11:08:44 AM
Mr. Clarence Butterworth

Make me...

La la la la la la la
 
2005-01-05 11:09:22 AM
You make me wanna barf barf, barf barf barf, barf barf, barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf .
 
2005-01-05 11:10:22 AM
It would have worked better if she could sing a lick.

Substitute "or" for "a" and you're on to something.
 
2005-01-05 11:10:35 AM
Having just watched the video I never noticed the Anarchy symbol last night. Seeing it during her stage show is the ultimate in Irony.
 
Ant
2005-01-05 11:12:15 AM
taikonaut: Record execs manipulate artists. Get over it.

Exactly. Case in point:

from this


to this
 
2005-01-05 11:12:48 AM
Im glad there was an hour long crappy halftime show...I didnt have to miss Dog The Bounty Hunter.
 
2005-01-05 11:12:59 AM
taikonaut: Hell, for the Rolling Stones, there was a Beatles.

Dude, I prefer the Stones to the Beatles as well. But I'd rather by anally raped by all 4 Beatles simultaneously than listen to 10 minutes of Ashlee Simpson singing.
 
2005-01-05 11:13:23 AM
Nabb1:

"Call me old fashioned, but I like it when marching bands perform at football halftimes. What would have been wrong with that?"

I agree. And the national anthem shouldn't be a "performance." The singer needs to lead the audience in singing The Star Spangled Banner, not show off some faux vocal prowess.
 
2005-01-05 11:13:36 AM
she was right...her band still sucks.....
 
2005-01-05 11:13:45 AM
ccc1138
Those have to be the most confusing and worst lyrics ever.
"I'll be a french maid"???
WTF?
 
2005-01-05 11:13:51 AM
Seriously I haven't been that proud to be a sports fan since Kathy Lee got booed when she was introduced during the Super Bowl to sing the national anthem
 
2005-01-05 11:15:04 AM
Orangesoup - And on the Stones first albums for every I'm A King Bee cover, there was a Under the Boardwalk and Susie Q cover.

I'm not trying to get into a Beatles vs. Stones debate (yeah, because that's what the internet needs, another one of those), merely pointing out that those who claim the Beatles were "manufactured" are just wrong. The Beatles cut their teeth playing every dive in Hamburg and Amsterdamn. They were already hardened road warriors, sure in their sound, by the time Epstein first laid his eyes on them.
 
2005-01-05 11:15:07 AM
The funniest part of that video is the look on her face right as her song ended and a moment before the boos started. She had that look of "Fark yeah I just nailed it and totally redeemed myself."
 
2005-01-05 11:15:11 AM
Record execs manipulate artists. Get over it. It was only after The Beatles sold tons of records could they go about things in their own way. In the beginning, The Beatles were told what to wear, what songs would be on what records in what country, etc.

And you think The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan weren't manipulated in any way?

You made a rather lame comparison that made no sense and got called on it. You get over it.
 
2005-01-05 11:15:32 AM
The Anthem sung accapella with all these weird notes, swoops and added tonal content makes me want to puke. Not only here, but at all major televised sporting events.

Sing it right or not at all.
 
Ant
2005-01-05 11:15:40 AM
elendilmir: The beatles were pretty daggone manufactured.

They were more manipulated than manufactured
 
2005-01-05 11:15:57 AM
I dunno, ccc1138, it doesn't quite compare to Gunther and the Sunshine Girls with "The Ding Dong Song".
 
2005-01-05 11:15:59 AM
In an effort to download this laugh riot of a performance, I accidentally downloaded her video for some song that says "You make me want to la la", which first off, is the DUMBEST line I've ever heard. Second off, that is the worst video I've ever seen in my life. I'm hearing echoes of Butthead watching a video saying "Dammit, they're not even trying. They should just throw this away and start all over again."

Aside from the "la la" part, WOW did that song make her sound like a desperate whore! Basically said over and over that the guy in question could treat her well or like shiat, and either way she'd still keep humping him like a horny chihuahua with a fresh gordita.
 
2005-01-05 11:18:08 AM
http://pennlive.com/columns/patriotnews/jones/index.ssf?/base/columnists/11049 20416320741.xml

According to this guy she was also booed before she sang.
 
2005-01-05 11:18:15 AM
Dear Ashlee,

Baby sis, you need to get a clue and wake up and smell the manure. You can't go through life lipsynching and passing yourself off as a talented performer, like me.
Even when you do sing, you cause men's testicles to retract up into themselves in order for them to save their ability to be able to make babies.
You should have gotten the idea when you last sang at that Christmas party two years ago when you caused our cat to fall over with a heart attack with its eyes bulging out.
As a matter of fact I think you sing like a cat now, one in very very great pain.
I still don't know why you changed your hair color to black, unless it is all that coal in the basement as you practice your ho down.
Anyways I just wanted to say I love you and still think you have a career posing in a pictoral on Playboy, just no more singing or dancing okay, the planet does need it's men to still be able to give us babies besides I can't take no more animals dying in pain or the recurring hemorrhoids you keep giving Nick.

Your big sis,
Jessica
 
2005-01-05 11:18:24 AM
i was looking for o.j. to run on stage :( - dly


LOL

Wins.Thread.Now.LOL.
 
2005-01-05 11:18:25 AM
sigdiamond2000
I'm far from a fan - I think I heard a few snippets of one of her songs and it really made no impression on me. I also didn't see the game last night.

It's all well and good if you don't like it, but I really think the boo-ing was rude.
 
2005-01-05 11:19:23 AM
Fell in Love with a Chair

Dogface is somewhat of a play on my niece's last name. Furthermore, coming up with Dogface involved alcohol and/or drugs.
 
2005-01-05 11:19:31 AM
This thread can be summed up in one word:

Ouch!
 
2005-01-05 11:19:42 AM
2005-01-05 11:15:59 AM Akaziel

In an effort to download this laugh riot of a performance, I accidentally downloaded her video for some song that says "You make me want to la la", which first off, is the DUMBEST line I've ever heard.

Yeah, that line ranks up there with these:

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time"

Van Halen "Why Can't This Be Love"

"She's got a smile that seems to me reminds me of childhood memories"

Guns N Roses "Sweet Child O Mine"
 
2005-01-05 11:19:44 AM
P.S. Even the Monkees have more talent than you Nick says. Oh that silly boyfriend of mine.
 
2005-01-05 11:19:57 AM
kuhns_m


Remember when Nirvana came arount? there was all this fake rock going on, kind of like today. So that only means one thing, the next Nirvana is just around the corner to sweep all of this crap away.
 
2005-01-05 11:20:28 AM
Rudeness has its place! If you suck, you deserve to have someone be rude to you!
 
2005-01-05 11:20:51 AM
Whats that word for taking pleasure in others misery? Schaden something. I got a raging case of it right now.
 
2005-01-05 11:20:58 AM
Napalm_in_The_morning:

Isn't "dog the bounty hunter" the greatest? Last night's episodes really kicked ass!
 
2005-01-05 11:21:05 AM
arount = around
 
2005-01-05 11:21:18 AM
WeTheSheeple

These "artists" are created and marketed to the people that actually BUY CD's. Most of us on fark, steal our music and think the RIAA is the devil. So, until we start purchasing music and we will have no influence on what they try to sell. Think about it.


When something good comes out people will buy it. Problem is this is the crap they put on the shelves. They even killed metal. St. Anger? Please. I guess they wanted sales to go down so they could more effectively blame P2P.

I haven't downladed any music since the days of napster. Reason: there isn't anything worth downlaoding. The current music isn't even worth $free$. Sad.
 
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