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(Gawker)   The only Orange Bowl performance worse than Oklahoma's was Ashlee Simpson's   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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61051 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2005 at 9:51 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

781 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-01-05 10:47:42 AM  
Someone hire that girl a choreographer.
2005-01-05 10:48:11 AM  
You mean this one?

[image from too old to be available]
2005-01-05 10:48:21 AM  

Cut Ashlee some slack. Seriously. I don't know what musicians some of you think are good, but whoever they are, they won't be sounding too nice if they don't have good feedback up on stage. That goes for singer, guitar, anyone.
She still probably has very little talent, but she's not this bad. No one is.

There's either monitors on the stage or she has to be wearing an earpiece. No one would go out and sing in the crazy acoustics of a stadium without any monitors. (not to mention the guitars/bass/drums all sound fine--but might've been pre-recorded too). Her only argument is going to be that her earpiece broke (still only half an excuse considering just how horrible her singing is, plus no one will believe her anyway)

/watched the video
/lol that's so brutal
2005-01-05 10:48:49 AM  
We have witnessed AS's death knell. I am more than willing to cut people slack for circumstance. Clearly there were production issues that affected all three. When The Artist Formerly Known As Big John Stud came on, you could hardly hear him. You could tell that Kelly Clarkson could sing, but the system was farked. AS was just yelling, and it was painfully obvious to everyone. Not to mention that we all had the benefit of hearing it from our quiet living rooms. If people in the crowd could hear her spayed-cat wailing enough to boo her that lustily?... She just might be finished.
2005-01-05 10:49:22 AM  
More like the Rolling Stones, and the rest of the British Invasion bands, were gimmicking the Beatles.

The crap of the day (and, yes, there is nothing unique about this time period) when the Beatles broke were the Bobbys (Vinton and Darin), Brenda Lees, Johny Mathis and Pat Boone's of the world.

There was nothing like the Beatles in the industry when they hit in 62. They were Nirvana in 92, David Bowie in 71 and Elvis in 56 all rolled into one. Did the Beatles scare the holy living crap out of parents? Think Marilyn Manson times a 1000. Yeah, Helter Skelter inspired Marilyn's namesake.
Ant [TotalFark]
2005-01-05 10:49:40 AM  
Nemo's Brother:

If you enjoy Lenny Kravitz, Limp BIsquit, Linkin Park, or any of those countless neutered rock bands out there

Lenny Kravitz? Lenny Kravitz isn't that bad.
2005-01-05 10:50:34 AM  
There was Pat Boone back then, but the who, floyd, and zepplin charted and were well known. These days the flaming lips release an album, it receives great reviews, maybe charts 200 on the billboard, and people look at you with vacant looks when you mention them. I agree there was turds, but at least it was 1:1. Now it is like 200:1 turd to gem.
2005-01-05 10:51:50 AM  
Regardless of suckage, I think the boo-ing is rude and in bad taste.
2005-01-05 10:52:25 AM  
I sorta feel bad for her on a personal level though... she was propped up in an unrealistic way, got some silly propped up ego things to live up to in her head, and now she is recieving a collossal reality check that is brutal and soul crushing. If she does not want to be another eating-disordered-drug-addled-hit-the-wall-has-been, she should grab the money bag and slink off to do something else with her life.
2005-01-05 10:52:51 AM  

Tom Servo :

USC has one of the best marching bands in the country;

Showing my age, but they played on the song "Tusk" by Fleetwood Mac. Great song, pretty cool video too.

2005-01-05 10:53:12 AM  

Yes, I agree it is disgusting to compare The Beatles to Simpson on a musically gifted level. But record execs looked at The Beatles and their clean-cut image and told the Stones to look tougher. All I am saying is that record companies have been manipulating artists for years and that the whole "Justin, Ashlee, Britney" thing has been going on for years.
2005-01-05 10:53:28 AM  

By the way, people, this girl is stone farking ugly I would not hit it with her dad's dick.

That family is creepy enough that it's probably already been done.
2005-01-05 10:53:46 AM  
InmanRoshiathe Beatles were more influenced by Elvis and Bill Haley and "skiffle" music. The Stones started out as a blues band covering muddy waters, howlin' wolf, etc.

2005-01-05 10:54:03 AM  
cheese 'n rice

Kelly Clarkson is usually an excellent singer live, but what was with that weird sounding feedback? Was she lipsynching too?

the weird feedback you heard was probably her backup singer, i think they got the wrong microphones, because her backup singer was coming on way too strong. you can really knock kelly clarkson for her singing though, afterall, she did win a singing competition.... she's FARKING HAWT too!
2005-01-05 10:54:03 AM  
2005-01-05 10:51:50 AM AuntofDogface

Regardless of suckage, I think the boo-ing is rude and in bad taste.

Translation: I'm an Ashlee Simpson fan.
2005-01-05 10:54:06 AM  
AuntofDogFace, but do you think it was appropriate?
2005-01-05 10:54:15 AM  
You can class Ashlee with The Monkees, but not the Beatles.
2005-01-05 10:54:21 AM  

My point is that American culture has hit a new low.
When you think about any genre of music
R&B. 60s-70s had Marvin Gaye, Sam & Dave, etc. We had usher and Justin.
Country - 60s-70s had Cash and Willie. We have Toby Keith hawking us Fords and putting boots up people's asses.

There was always crappy artists, it just now there are more "people" who will invest in bad artists.

Odd Music 60s-70s Tiny Tim. We have Hung, the She Bang guy.

I hope Tiny Tim realized he was a comedy act, but Hung was bad to start with, and taken advantage of.
2005-01-05 10:54:28 AM  
As a jaded "show business" professional I dont usually blink at any level of hyperbole...However...when they introduced this girl as "Superstar Ashlee Simpson" I almost swallowed my tongue.

They must have changed the definition of superstar to "someone in the first third of their 15 minutes".

It would have worked better if she could sing a lick.
2005-01-05 10:54:29 AM  
oops forgot to close my bold tag...
2005-01-05 10:54:51 AM  
Ashlee is built on Jessica's image, not her own.

/among those who laughed outloud at the anarchy symbol.
2005-01-05 10:55:22 AM  
Regardless of suckage, I think the boo-ing is rude and in bad taste.

Translation: I'm an Ashlee Simpson fan.

same here
2005-01-05 10:55:35 AM  
2005-01-05 10:52:25 AM surrenderyoursushi

I sorta feel bad for her on a personal level though... she was propped up in an unrealistic way, got some silly propped up ego things to live up to in her head, and now she is recieving a collossal reality check that is brutal and soul crushing.

Yeah, it's so hard being a millionaire.
2005-01-05 10:55:42 AM  
she's not this bad. No one is.

I beg to differ.

Exhibit A

[image from too old to be available]
2005-01-05 10:56:34 AM  
"someone in the first third of their 15 minutes"

Please tell me you meant "last third". Please????
2005-01-05 10:56:48 AM  

I, respectfully, disagree with you. Those people paid top dollar for those tickets to be entertained. The act that was given to them was an engineering and talent disaster. They have every right to express their disappointment. Also, it is the only way Ashlee is going to go away. The execs don't seem to want to take a hint, so you have to throw it in their faces.

I do, however, think it is in bad taste to boo your own team when they don't play well.
2005-01-05 10:56:52 AM  
she started out with a public image of being depressed about something...

then she started singing about what was depressing her:

Being the sister of a famous, gorgeous, very talented and successful singer, who is married to a famous, gorgeous, very talented MALE singer, who also have their own tv show.

To MOST people, that's something to BRAG about.

Then, she tried to distance herself by going goth, in an attempt to get attention for being "different".

After reading the transcript of her dad saying Jessica turned down a movie roll where her character was a lesbian, on the grounds that "she's not ready to play that kind of roll yet", its obvious that he's a retard, and has abandoned his responsibilities as a "minister of the gospel", in favor of the riches and fame his older daughter is bringing to him.

He probably follows Ashley around saying, "Why can't you be more like Jessica? SHE has big boobs and a nice ass!"
2005-01-05 10:57:01 AM  
That look on her face at the end is just priceless! lol
2005-01-05 10:57:06 AM  
There have always been Ashlee Simpsons in the music industry. For every Dylan, there was a Donovan. Hell, for the Rolling Stones, there was a Beatles.

You're comparing a manufactured trollop like Ashlee Simpson to The Beatles? Ashlee Simpson probably can read notes on a scale and you are comparing her to two of the greatest songwriters ever (Lennon/McCartney)? Are you farking insane?!

You can't even compare her to Donovan! Compare her to 1910 Fruitgum Company or The Archies. That's more applicable.
2005-01-05 10:57:52 AM  
I think the boo-ing is rude and in bad taste.

She's young, she'll get over it. What she should do is stop listening to all the lies her record company and father are pumping into her head about how great she thinks she is. The music industry is brutal and very unforgiving.

I knew the backlash and fallout from the SNL incident would last for a long time.
2005-01-05 10:58:27 AM  
Regardless of suckage, I think the boo-ing is rude and in bad taste.

No, people are fighting back against the crap the music industry is trying to get them to swallow presently. After this, she might actually go away (but I wouldn't bet on it).
Ant [TotalFark]
2005-01-05 10:58:47 AM  
taikonaut: Hell, for the Rolling Stones, there was a Beatles.

The Beatles may have started out as a semi-manufactured pop band (even that is not completely accurate), but they grew to be one of the most influential bands in the history of rock.
2005-01-05 10:59:04 AM  
AuntofDogFace, are you one of those folks who think children should be graded on effort rather than accomplishment? Booing is absolutely appropriate if something sucks. What? We're just supposed to applaud for everyone so they get all warm and fuzzy inside, regardless of the fact that they have zero talent? I think not.
2005-01-05 10:59:08 AM  
>.> You don't like booing, but calling your neice or nephew Dogface is okay? FOR SHAME.

/This just in... i'm joking!
2005-01-05 10:59:10 AM  
Donny Osmond said it best: "Go away little girl"
2005-01-05 10:59:12 AM  
2005-01-05 10:34:43 AM taikonaut
Um, people. There have always been Ashlee Simpsons in the music industry. For every Dylan, there was a Donovan. Hell, for the Rolling Stones, there was a Beatles.

Aw, dude... don't be busting on Donovan, man. What about Hurdy Gurdy Man? What about Atlantis? What about... meh. When you're right, you're right.
2005-01-05 10:59:20 AM  
Sig all the money in the world will not mend the emotional scars this chick will probably have. Check in ... in.. ooh...say seven years. She will be like one of those pet parrots that goes insane in it's cage and pulls out it's own feathers until it bleeds. Look at courtney love. Not worth the money.
2005-01-05 10:59:28 AM  
...and if Ashlee is "Goth", I'm a Larch tree.
2005-01-05 10:59:36 AM  
Blade2567 - Thank You, I am sooooo tired of these "singers" trying to make the Natioanl Anthem their own. Just sing it the way it was written and go away.
2005-01-05 10:59:59 AM  
When are they going to stop pushing her down our throats?! I was watching the game last night (unfortunately) and when I saw who was performing at half time I changed the channel (my ears thanked me). Now I wish I watched just too see her humiliation great. Too bad the fans didn't boo the entire time. Now that would've been classic. She reminds of that Paris Hilton South Park...stupid spoiled whore.
2005-01-05 11:00:15 AM  
God, if this was China, she would've already had her show trial and been summarily executed months ago.
2005-01-05 11:00:21 AM  
mediaho: Did anyone notice if her "band" were the same guys from SNL?

The guitar player appeared to be the same. That's all I could see before my eyes teared up from my laughter.
2005-01-05 11:00:53 AM  
Retardos #1 forever!
Hey Retardo

Why can't you walk over here?
You been out mending fences
probably can't even walk now
but retardos
meet your warm golden cure
cuz you been out mending fences
where you'll never walk alone
so send me some money
or i'll bang you up
yes I'll bang you right up
your ass
2005-01-05 11:01:14 AM  
Anyone on this thread wishing anything but pain and torture upon this no-dimensional whore needs to cancel their subscription to People magazine or just kill themselves.

Man that was harsh.
2005-01-05 11:01:30 AM  
She certainly knows how to generate attention.
2005-01-05 11:01:55 AM  
I accidently caught a few seconds of Jessica Simpson on the NBC Christmas at Rockefeller Plaza thing and she honestly looked like she was in the middle of a grand mal seizure.

Since when did contorting your face into a thousand expressions equate with soulful talent?
2005-01-05 11:02:05 AM  

For all you folks who say it was the equipment's fault more than the puppet's fault: what did real musicians do before earpieces and feedbacks and big giant electrical setups to make their music pleasant?

Well, for one thing they didn't play in massive football stadiums with horrible accoustics that require major amplification to reach all the audience. Before amps and electric guitars musicians had to play in smaller, closed in rooms and stayed close together so they could hear one another. No head banging or theatrics at the symphony or coffee shop.

The same thing REAL musicians do without that help now. They have a talent that sets them apart from average folks and they can do it over and over and over again because they are rare and talented.

Talented? yes. Rare? no. I've been to clubs all over this country and believe me there are talented musicians everywhere playing their hearts and souls out every night. And yes, they are infinitely better to listen to than anything pop culture spits out.
2005-01-05 11:02:18 AM  
what's really amazing is that somehow she will probably continue to get high-profile gigs even after sat. night live and this.
2005-01-05 11:02:22 AM  

I hope Tiny Tim realized he was a comedy act, but Hung was bad to start with, and taken advantage of.

William Hung laughed all the way to the bank. Don't feel bad.
2005-01-05 11:02:36 AM  
Creed is worse.
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