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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Hole in one: 68-year-old golfer falls into abandoned well, is rescued 6 hours later   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

1999 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2002 at 2:05 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

47 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-03-05 02:07:38 PM  
How did he get around the fence.
2002-03-05 02:07:52 PM  
HIS MOTHER??? about an overaged mama's boy!
2002-03-05 02:07:53 PM  
Can you say Law Suit??
2002-03-05 02:08:11 PM  
His MOTHER called to report him missing? He's 68 years old!
2002-03-05 02:08:19 PM  
It was a peach, hun!
2002-03-05 02:08:51 PM  
Quick, sue McDonalds!
2002-03-05 02:08:52 PM  
He should SUE the golf course and McD's!!!
2002-03-05 02:09:47 PM  
Itsjungleboy: Excellent Caddyshack quote!
2002-03-05 02:09:51 PM  
"His mother became concerned when he didn't come home,"

2002-03-05 02:11:47 PM  
"I've fallen, and I can't get up!"
2002-03-05 02:13:57 PM  
Oh Dolly I'm hot today...
2002-03-05 02:14:11 PM  
lmao, them putting up the fence reminds me of how a "CAUTION: WELL" sign was put on when bart simpson fell in one.
2002-03-05 02:14:50 PM  
"His mother became concerned when he didn't come home,"

And so did his grand kids.
2002-03-05 02:14:56 PM  
Yeah he needs Life Call.
2002-03-05 02:14:57 PM  
Great Headline! Kudos.
2002-03-05 02:15:16 PM  
Hey - give the guy a break. At 68 years old, I don't imagine he's been in a hole for quite sometime.
2002-03-05 02:15:20 PM  
Exploder, read the damned article. It says there is NOW a fence around the hole, implying that there wasn't one before.

Okay, so what I don't understand about the "dumbass" tag is this: Who's the dumbass? The poor schmuck that fell into the hole, or the course owner that didn't cover it?
2002-03-05 02:17:39 PM  
.......Ease up there, buddies! I've played that abandoned well before, and it's lay is pretty tricky.......
2002-03-05 02:20:35 PM  
This should acctually have a SAD tag. Hell if your 68 and your mother is still checking up on you........
I bet the ol' guy lives in mom's basement.
So sad.
2002-03-05 02:21:54 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-05 02:22:08 PM  
My grandpa broke his arm and impacted his shoulder into it's socket when he was golfing. Old people are stupid. And useless. Oh, and one time he almost ran me over when I was walking home from school. He was driving into the cemetary to visit my grandma's grave. Oh, the delicious irony. Or something like irony. Only in the Alanis Morrisette sense of the word, I guess.
2002-03-05 02:22:14 PM  
It's warm enough to play golf in Washington state right now?
The course may have been closed for the season.
2002-03-05 02:22:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-05 02:23:24 PM  
So what is the stroke penalty for this?
2002-03-05 02:25:18 PM  

If old people are stupid and useless, can I assume that you will do all of us a favor and off yourself at 30?

The world will thank you.
2002-03-05 02:28:26 PM  
30 isn't very old. I'd say 50-60 is pushing it.
2002-03-05 02:32:45 PM  
Didn't have time to read the article - is his name Timmy O'Toole?
2002-03-05 02:34:35 PM  
I would blame the course for not covering up the well, but I have a feeling that the old guy probably golfs like me. He was probably far into the rough and searching for his ball. Is it the course's problem if it was so far in the rough that they didn't know it existed?
2002-03-05 02:36:42 PM  
Dang, Azreal! That was a mad-ass snap, yo! I've had a taste of my own medicine, and it is bitter! I shall wash my shame in a river of the blood of my enemies...
2002-03-05 02:39:13 PM  
That's it old man - just a liiittle to the left. back... back... bingo!

[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-05 02:40:50 PM  
They must have come from England. Seeing as how he is 68 and his mother is still alive and well.
2002-03-05 02:43:11 PM  
They should have left him there. One less golfer.
2002-03-05 02:55:21 PM  
What a dumbass...

My parents' house(where I grew up) is next to a PGA tour golf course and I still refused to play that stupid game. I can walk around and drink beer with my friends without having to pay a ridiculous greens fee and put up with a bunch of suburban fags on parade.

My favorite pastime during the annual tournament used to be having golf fan's illegally cars towed from in front of our driveway.
2002-03-05 02:56:25 PM  
2002-03-05 03:01:22 PM  
1) I shouldn't be taking anything here seriously
2) The weather has been nice in Washington this week, and if it isn't, people golf in the rain. Well, the natives do anyway ...
3) He probably takes care of his mom, not vice-versa.
4) I doubt DangerDildo's grandpa almost running him over was an accident.
2002-03-05 03:03:32 PM  
aahh, I forget the exact quote..

"...surely the Lord wouldn't interfere in the best golf game of my life"
2002-03-05 03:17:12 PM  
Oh! Sweet Irony!
2002-03-05 03:18:53 PM  
For those of you who miss the humor in LonMahjonggBonFonJovi's hilarious joke, allow me to explain:

He took my name (DangerDummy) and replaced the "Dummy" with an aliterative substitute (Dildo). In doing such, he fashioned my original name into a hilarious insult! ZING! POW! ZAP!

Acceptable alternatives:
DangerDooDoo (!)
Douchebag McDodo

Keep reachin' for that star, buddy. You'll be up and writing for Jay Leno in no time!!!
2002-03-05 03:20:40 PM  

that is just plain wrong, and nasty..
2002-03-05 03:36:26 PM  
it sucks to be so old that breaking your ankle means losing your foot.

and dangerdummy - your comeback was equally lame.. but that's okay, no harm done
2002-03-05 03:50:34 PM  
I kind of like the Douchebag McDodo one.
2002-03-05 04:01:20 PM  
Thanks for trying, DD's grandpa who ever you are (were). Sometimes you just have to give natural selection a helping hand.
2002-03-05 04:03:48 PM  
It wasn't a hole in one. My first attempt to knock him in failed. It was a par 3, though, so I got the birdie.
2002-03-05 04:26:54 PM  
That is one way to eliminate the competition on the seniors tour
2002-03-05 05:31:52 PM  
Did he fall down that well, or at 68 was it a case of trying to cut out the middleman and be done with himself ?
2002-03-05 06:16:02 PM  
I must admit, this happened in my town. The rough where he stumbled into the well is tall prairie grass, and the well was probably covered by an unseen, rotted out old piece of plywood. This course is a home made 9 hole course, with little resemblance to a real golf course.
This guy is a pretty good old guy, who takes care of his Mother. Still, the dumbshiat should have looked down and seen the wood board.
2002-03-05 07:11:43 PM  
Well, now that Zorgon has dipped into the Dennis Miller Source Book For Zany Putdowns, don't forget to rip, beat to death...I mean pay homage to your other heroes in your hilarious flames. Comic Book Guy (or any other Simpsons character who has ever uttered a clever one-liner), Kevin Smith, Walken (That's some. Really. Funny stuff. LOL!), Sir Wilbur Wheaton (he's, like, really down to earth and cute and funny and stuff), boobies, Fb-is the father, or any combination of the above. Way to keep it fresh, guys. VERY cutting edge. In return, I'll remember to keep in mind that if more than twenty people heard of something, it's lame and stupid and hackneyed and stuff. Oh, unless it's one of those wildly popular Gen-X friendly seventies/eighties sitcoms or cartoons. That stuff's okay cuz we watched it when we were shorties and the squares just don't get it. Woooo, Schoolhouse Rocks! Way to go ALF!!! I know you are, but what am I!?! Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, that was SARCASM! (Homer Simpson said that. AWESOME!) Oh, and Zorgon? More like WHOREgon! Snootchie Bootchies!
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