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(NYPost)   Hip-hop groupies discuss their conquests -- Jay Z's manhood "Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. It could block out the sun."   (nypost.com) divider line 182
    More: Scary  
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41737 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2005 at 11:23 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-01-02 12:14:37 PM  
A 1-liter Coke bottle? Ouch! Those don't even fit the cup holder of my car!
Mine is more like the little can of Coke you get on airplanes, but just as effervescent, I'm sure! :oD
 
2005-01-02 12:16:02 PM  
"I'm actually impressed that a Jay Z fan is familiar with the metric system..."

That would be the groupie, RFTA.

And what do you think, he lives in a special part of the country that sells quart pepsi bottles?
 
2005-01-02 12:16:25 PM  
yimg src="http://www.friends-partners.org/oldfriends/asebrant/life/1998/mar26.jpg">
 
2005-01-02 12:17:23 PM  


feel free to delete the above

/previewing now
 
2005-01-02 12:17:28 PM  
Another huge coc- er -coke bottle

 
2005-01-02 12:18:17 PM  
Ok...did a GIS (I swear I did that years ago)

http://www.groupielove.com

Actually kinda pathetic...I was younger then.
 
2005-01-02 12:19:03 PM  
HaywoodJablonski: Another huge coc- er -coke bottle

 
2005-01-02 12:20:05 PM  

It's twue. It's twue.
 
2005-01-02 12:20:53 PM  
I ran out of synonyms for huge, so no more pics from me
 
2005-01-02 12:22:17 PM  
"They said you was hung!"

"They were right."
 
2005-01-02 12:24:09 PM  
Blazing Saddles Rox!
 
2005-01-02 12:24:13 PM  


OK that's just plain wrong

/doesn't know what he was thinking...pounds head on desk
 
2005-01-02 12:24:25 PM  
Something about the article reminded me of "Mississippi Burning" but I can't put my finger on it.
 
2005-01-02 12:30:06 PM  
On to "tall" and its synonyms...

 
2005-01-02 12:30:21 PM  
Forgive me, Niethan, but this view has a leather... urm... just look.



/and it's in color!
 
2005-01-02 12:31:20 PM  
evlisevlis: .
 
2005-01-02 12:33:11 PM  
Cuchulane

"ashiest"? Like...what, gray?

Kind of... means he doesn't take care of his skin.

Quoted rom www.urbandictionary.com (and slightly edited):

"Ashy:

1. When a negro's skin so dry it looks like they a white folk who been workin' in a coal mine.

2. Skin so dry that it looks grey...like ashes.

3. dry skin"
 
2005-01-02 12:33:57 PM  
12inpianist: Forgive me, Niethan, but this view has a leather... urm... just look.

damn... it's brown, too

/un-pc?
//sorry
 
2005-01-02 12:38:16 PM  


Iverson groupie?
 
2005-01-02 12:38:22 PM  
What a bunch of self-absorbed douches. If it weren't for handguns and drugs, they'd have no CLUE what the metric system was. It always turns my stomach knowing that we celebrate this kind of worthless tripe when real talent goes unnoticed. I wish they'd all just shoot each other and be done with it. (was that too harsh?)

First of all, they? Who's that? Black people?

Secondly, hip-hop is just about the only musical genre with truly original artists. Nearly everyone in rock is basically just going through the motions. It's hard to objectively judge musical worth, but hip-hop has had a staying power of almost 30 years, making it the only genre besides rock 'n roll and its various offshoots to last longer than 10. Someone likes it; and if it doesn't speak to you that doesn't mean it's "worthless tripe."

Third, what real talent are you talking about?
 
2005-01-02 12:40:06 PM  
She's even wearing his co@k ring on a necklace....she must be his steady ho.
 
2005-01-02 12:42:39 PM  
Max Reax:

Secondly, hip-hop is just about the only musical genre with truly original artists. Nearly everyone in rock is basically just going through the motions. It's hard to objectively judge musical worth, but hip-hop has had a staying power of almost 30 years, making it the only genre besides rock 'n roll and its various offshoots to last longer than 10. Someone likes it; and if it doesn't speak to you that doesn't mean it's "worthless tripe."

Yes. Progressive Rock is totally unprogressive.
 
2005-01-02 12:43:01 PM  
Max Reax
...rock 'n roll and it's various offshoots...

what offshoots?
 
2005-01-02 12:46:14 PM  
 
2005-01-02 12:48:48 PM  
hip hop and rock are the only genres to last longer than 10 years? oh...i guess you mean other than classical, country, bluegrass, jazz, blues, swing, etc. etc. etc.
 
2005-01-02 12:49:23 PM  
"Max Reax
...rock 'n roll and it's various offshoots...

what offshoots?"

Punk, metal, Grunge, etc...
Basically anything of popular music that didn't come from a rock and roll folk/rythm and blues tradition came from a jazz/gospel/soul tradition. although i'm sure you can find bridges between the two all over the place
 
2005-01-02 12:49:43 PM  
Oh get over yourself, Max Reax. And what are you doing ripping on rock? They actually play those things, what do you call them, oh yeah, instruments.
 
2005-01-02 12:51:46 PM  
There is also this link if you want to know about rockers and their wangs/skills/etc...pretty funny.

http://www.metal-sludge.com/main/index.php?module=subjects&func=viewpage&pagei d=381
 
2005-01-02 12:53:12 PM  
"sometimes he'd give me money and I hadn't even done anything!"

Wow, classy!

:P
 
2005-01-02 12:55:09 PM  
Ahaa, now I can tell my girlfriend who has that black celebrity obsession (she was a varsity basketball player throughout high school) that her fantasy boytoy Iverson has a small dick.

ahaaaa, ahaaahahahaha, take one for me with my jay-z sick diack, ahaaaa, bwaahaa, aha

sorry, had to laugh that one off

/Method man is my hero
 
2005-01-02 12:55:35 PM  
But is it as big as Cheney's?
 
2005-01-02 12:57:48 PM  
Hey could someone please post a picture of a really big bottle? I think that would be funny.
 
2005-01-02 01:01:26 PM  
Max Reax
...hip-hop is just about the only musical genre with truly original artists...

I'm not sure I agree with any aspect of that statement.

He wears loads of bling, denigrates women, and alludes to violence often. Which 'truly original' artist am I referring to???
 
2005-01-02 01:02:55 PM  
Scary tag appropriate.

Those huge wine bottles (that actually have wine in them) have really cool names for the different sizes. Like Nebbachnezzar, and Methusala etc.
 
2005-01-02 01:12:02 PM  
First of all, they? Who's that? Black people?

Of course. duh.
 
2005-01-02 01:12:21 PM  
She was sucking his arm!
 
2005-01-02 01:15:21 PM  
He wears loads of bling, denigrates women, and alludes to violence often. Which 'truly original' artist am I referring to???

Hmmm.. Aesop Rock? MURS? Sage Francis? Oh wait, no, you're just talking about something that you have absolutely no understanding of whatsoever. Cool.

What you see on MTV =! all of hip-hop. Now I'm gonna go listen to Creed and Godsmack and Linkin Park and all the other awesome, talented rock bands that -gasp- play an instrument. That must mean they're good.
 
2005-01-02 01:21:27 PM  
what offshoots?

Punk rock, metal, prog-rock, dance-rock, nu-metal, industrial, etc.

Yes. Progressive Rock is totally unprogressive.

What prog-rock bands are doing anything right now that hasn't been done before (and better) by Yes, Rush, etc?

hip hop and rock are the only genres to last longer than 10 years? oh...i guess you mean other than classical, country, bluegrass, jazz, blues, swing, etc. etc. etc.

Let me amend my statement: To stay significantly popular. I missed country, too; but I think its popularity is geographically limited enough to be in a different class from rock 'n roll and hip-hop. Those other genres are limited in their popularity, and if they were at one point nationally popular have ceased to be so.

Oh get over yourself, Max Reax. And what are you doing ripping on rock? They actually play those things, what do you call them, oh yeah, instruments.

I'm not ripping on rock. I was born and raised on it; I love it and listen to it as much as anyone. My favorite all-time artist is Bruce Springsteen. But outside of maybe Radiohead or the Arcade Fire, there are very few good, original bands out there. The Killers are an excellent and talented band. But they're just ripping off Gang of Four and Talking Heads. Same with Franz Ferdinand. As for "playing their own instruments"? Do you really think that rappers and their producers aren't talented? I'd love to see you get behind a mixing board and write the beat to a song like "Cry Me a River", or write a song as lyrically complex "Chemical Calisthenics", or as emotionally honest as "Stan", or as politically insightful as "The Fourth Branch". And if you want rappers playing their own instruments, try the Roots, Stetsasonic, N.E.R.D. and Mos Def.

He wears loads of bling, denigrates women, and alludes to violence often. Which 'truly original' artist am I referring to???

This is very true. A lot of popular hip-hop has degenerated into farcical idiot-songs. Ja Rule, Petey Pablo, 50 Cent and others are parodies of urban commentators like the Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac, whose lyrics, while violent, mysoginistic and materialist were also reflections of a morally bankrupt and impoverished inner-city life--in the same way that the violent, mysoginistic lyrics of turn-of-the-century blues artists like Robert Johnson were singing about their own lives on the Mississippi Delta.

But to hold those idiots as the only true representatives of hip-hop ignores some very original, very talented musicians and poets both on Top 40 radio and in the underground scene. Producers like the Neptunes, Timbaland and Kanye West have carved out their own places and sounds without reverting to copying other styles. Groups like Outkast continue to push the musical envelope and explore the boundaries of "hip-hop" as a genre. Even a rapper like Jay-Z takes the time out to work with Rick Rubin (who produced Johnny Cash's last four hours) and write one of the best songs of his career, incisively picking apart racial profiling. Meanwhile, in the underground, the Def Jux label and the Rhymesayers label are bringing up some of the most amazing MC's you'll ever here and at the same time producing and experimenting with new sounds. Their lyrics are even "positive" in the sense that they, for the most part, lack the violence and mysogyny that are so stereotypically labelled as hip-hop's only content.
 
2005-01-02 01:22:51 PM  
who produced Johnny Cash's last four hours

Last four albums. Sorry. I think God produced Johnny Cash's last four albums.
 
2005-01-02 01:24:40 PM  
Hey can we focus on the groupies and not the music? It started off so well.
 
2005-01-02 01:25:44 PM  
Max, you're just jealous 'cause you don't have a 1-liter salami.
 
2005-01-02 01:26:34 PM  
Max, you're just jealous 'cause you don't have a 1-liter salami.

biatch, please. My shiat wouldn't fit inside a 2-liter.
 
2005-01-02 01:29:45 PM  
Jay Z what have you done to my Beyonce you big dicked freak??!
 
2005-01-02 01:33:27 PM  
Well, I'm hung like dumbo and you don't here my accolades on any hip hopper e-zine...
sheesh

/obligatory
 
2005-01-02 01:33:38 PM  
To quote Stetsasonic, who said it better than I ever could, and in rhyme:

You see, you misunderstood
A sample is a tactic
A portion of my method, a tool
In fact it's only of importance when I make it a priority
And what we sample of, is the majority
But you are a minority, in terms of thought
Narrow minded and poorly taught...

...Think rap is a fad? you must be mad
'Cause we're so bad we get respect you never had
Tell the truth, James Brown was old
'Til Eric and Rakim came out with 'I Got Soul'
Rap brings back old R&B
And if we would not, people could've forgot
We wanna make this perfectly clear
We're talented and strong and have no fear
Of those who choose to judge but lack pizazz
Talkin' all that jazz
 
2005-01-02 01:36:07 PM  
I'd love to see you get behind a mixing board and write the beat to a song like "Cry Me a River", or write a song as lyrically complex "Chemical Calisthenics", or as emotionally honest as "Stan", or as politically insightful as "The Fourth Branch".

No, I couldn't do any of that. But rock has lyrics too and yes, forgive the clueless white boy heretic guitar player but I think it takes more talent/practice/music knowledge...whatever to play a guitar than it does to scratch on a turn table. But that's just IMO.

I'm not going to get into a whole rap vs rock thing but hip hop is not the only thing that's been around longer than 10 years. Turn off the TRL.
 
2005-01-02 01:38:37 PM  
Bashturn, I agree 100%. Damn you Jay-Z. I always dreamed of taking Beyonce for a ride, not parking my ride in her.
 
2005-01-02 01:38:51 PM  
"He told me I looked like I had a [bleep]able mouth, which I thought was probably the most disrespectful [bleep] I'd ever heard," she said.


though it's been said before, it bears repeaing.
this whore still found this witty banter charming enough to [bleep] him for months.
 
2005-01-02 01:39:08 PM  
not another goddamn hiphop/rock pissing contest please..

we ALL know that heavy metal reached god like perfection in the late 80's....
 
2005-01-02 01:40:26 PM  
Mashed Potatoes on the Ceiling
Mashed potatoes on the ceiling.
Green beans on the floor.
Stewed tomatoes in the corner.
Squash upon the door.

Pickled peppers in my pocket.
Spinach up my sleeves.
Mushrooms in my underpants with
leeks and lettuce leaves.

Okra, onions, artichokes,
aparagus and beets;
buried neatly underneath the
cushions of our seats.

All the rest I've hidden in my socks
and down my shirt.
I'm done with all my vegetables.
I'm ready for dessert!
 
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