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(Herald-Citizen)   Get into a car wreck while wearing your seatbelt and win a t-shirt. Only in Tennessee   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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8042 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2005 at 9:07 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

57 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-01-02 01:18:31 AM  
Why don't people wear thier seatbelts? i like to live on the edge and all, but that's just stupid. and if your excuse is "if i'm in an accident, i'll get thrown free instead of being trapped in a car", an excuse i've actually heard before, then wow. you're dumb.

/seen too many people die in car accidents.
2005-01-02 01:19:20 AM  
Sweet. I need some new tees.
2005-01-02 01:19:52 AM  
I had an accident and all I got was this lousy flat tire.
2005-01-02 01:42:23 AM  
Further argument for a TENNESSEE FARK tag.
2005-01-02 02:17:11 AM  

[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]

Jiffy Pop Air Bag

Spokesman.....Phil Hartman
EMS.....Tim Meadows
Driver.....Melanie Hutsell

Spokesman: If you're concerned about auto safety, you probably know about this.. [ holds up air bag ] ..the air bag. Experts agree it's your best chance of surviving a collision. But there's one drawback to the concentional air bag - it may save your life, but what do you eat while waiting for help to arrive? We at Jiffy Pop think we have the answer - the Jiffy Pop Air Bag. [ Air Bag pops open ] It's quick, and easy.

[ show demonstration of car engine ]

Upon impact, the Jiffy Pop kernals in the steering column are instantly fed to the engine block, where they're with oil from the crankcase. As the corn is popped, the bag expands, protecting the driver from injury, and, best of all, providing a delicious low-calorie treat. It's as fun to eat as it is to make.

[ show Actual Reenactment ]

EMS: [ rushes to smashed car ] Are you okay?

Driver: [ calmly eating her popcorn ] Mmm-hmm. How the other driver?

EMS: Not too good. How's the Jiffy Pop?

Driver: Great!

[ pan to Spokesman in foreground ]

Spokesman: The Jiffy Pop Air Bag. Because we don't want you to walk away from your next accident on an empty stomach.

Announcer: The Jiffy Pop Air Bag. Now in Chedder Cheese.

[ SUPER: "Warning: During collision, some kernals may remain unpopped" ]
2005-01-02 03:05:53 AM  
aesoprock_00: Why don't people wear thier seatbelts? i like to live on the edge and all, but that's just stupid. and if your excuse is "if i'm in an accident, i'll get thrown free instead of being trapped in a car", an excuse i've actually heard before, then wow. you're dumb.

(IIRC) Just last week I think, a 16 year old girl was driving home from skiing(sp) with a friend. She lost control and wrecked. The friend, 15years old, wasn't wearing a seatbelt, got killed. 16 year old was and is fine. She was driving a farking h2.
Seatbelts save your lives people. Not the car or airbag.

/mine sure kept me out of the hospital at least.
//doesn't want to be part of any more statistics.
2005-01-02 07:27:49 AM  
"...provide free t-shirts to drivers who are uninjured or suffer only minor injuries as a result of wearing a seat belt when involved in a car accident."

I find this highly prejudiced to those who were horrifically mangled or killed while wearing their seat belts. Now if these victims were also to receive... umm, how about a nice ball cap-yes, a quality ball cap with the t-shirt. I think that would even things up.
2005-01-02 09:15:25 AM  
Get in a car wreck without a seatbelt and win a Darwin-award?
2005-01-02 09:15:45 AM  
They'll do it too, just for a break in the boredom.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2005-01-02 09:20:48 AM  
Airbags are pretty much neutral safety-wise. They kill and injure some people and they help others.

Seat belts have about a 50% net chance of saving your life in an otherwise-fatal accident. Yes, they can kill you, but the odds are low.
2005-01-02 09:22:53 AM  
Riding in a car is a calculated risk any way you look at it. Seat belts can kill you or save you. Statistically speaking, they're more likely to save you.

/whoa, dude, free t-shirt
2005-01-02 09:24:16 AM  
This is preposterous.
"Hey! You're not dead. Here's some crappy cotton."
How about some f'n money to help fix my damn car...
I wouldnt say only a 50% chance of saving your life.
2005-01-02 09:30:54 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Like that kind of tag?

Yeah but for every Tennessee "redneck gets drunk, hilarity ensues" story, there's 100 "sober person in Florida does something completely insane" stories. If anything, California, Texas, and New Jersey (in that order) are next in line.
2005-01-02 09:34:50 AM  
please, god, no!
I don't want my state to be on par with Florida
2005-01-02 09:36:06 AM  
I was in a roll over car accident last month. The car ended up resting upside down and I was hanging from my seat beat. I got a seperated shoulder. But without my seatbelt it would have been much worse.
2005-01-02 09:37:56 AM  
Loved this quote from the article:

You're lucky. You did good, and we're giving you this because you are doing what you need to do.

Yup - that's exactly what we need to be telling someone who was just in a car wreck.
2005-01-02 09:42:40 AM  
Yeah, talk about the wrong kind of positive reinforcement.
2005-01-02 09:48:13 AM  
You'd think that a good Southern state like Tennessee would dispense with all the paternalism and just let people suffer the consequences of their actions...

But no, we have to come up with stupid slogans like "Click it or Ticket," and then subject ourselves to the ridicule of the rest of the nation with stuff like this.

/Go Vols
2005-01-02 09:52:05 AM  
I was in an accident when I was 16. I had my seatbelt on which sliced my neck and my stomach open, and broke 3 of my ribs. The engine came through the firewall and shattered my ankle and foot. I was DOA when the ambulance arrived. However, if I did not have my seatbelt on I would have been permanently dead. I would have gone directly through the windshield and broke my neck on the bed of the truck which was sitting on the hood of the car I was in. That was what the cops and EMT's said anyway. I don't doubt them for a second!

The motto of this story:
Sure, a seatbelt might cause you some minor injuries but think about how much worse it could be if you didn't put it on before that one horrible accident.
2005-01-02 09:55:55 AM  

I live in MA and we have "Click it or Ticket" too. Only it's done on tv with horrible cop actors with a horrible masshole accent. "Click it oah ticket. Mass is seearious about savin lives"
2005-01-02 10:05:14 AM  

Does that mean I can drive up to Chattanooga and tap some poles with my truck and get free t-shirts?

/ I'll never have to buy another t-shirt in my life.....
2005-01-02 10:13:39 AM  
This whole area needs a tag.
[image from too old to be available]
2005-01-02 10:27:26 AM  
the highschoolers wearing their seat belts won't kill them, but the $5 they spend on cigs will.
2005-01-02 10:36:24 AM  
but did you get your t-shirt?

/should give out Hot Coco Sampler Boxes instead
2005-01-02 10:57:08 AM  
2005-01-02 10:05:14 AM TheGreatGazoo
Does that mean I can drive up to Chattanooga and tap some poles with my truck and get free t-shirts?

Sorry, my friend, but you have to drive to Putnam County to get the shirt. That's more into the state of Tennessee than anyone should really want to go.

/sigh, not too fond of TN
2005-01-02 10:57:55 AM  
You can get a hat in New Jersey. There are pamphlets at the police station.
2005-01-02 10:58:09 AM  
I vote to give the guys some hot strippers thongies instead..

/Already got T's
2005-01-02 11:02:27 AM  

I was DOA when the ambulance arrived. However, if I did not have my seatbelt on I would have been permanently dead.

You mean you were transferred to a better hospital and upgraded to alive?
2005-01-02 11:05:30 AM  
"Well officer,i think i mighta got a broken leg here, but can we leave that out of the report? 'Cause i want one of them there t-shirts"
2005-01-02 11:19:45 AM  
My sister and her then-boyfriend were involved in a flip-over accident while she was driving an SUV (GMC Jimmy). In a flip-over, seatbelts WILL save your ass (or so says mom, an 18 year ER veteran). Both Kate and Joe escaped with minor injuries, howver, the experience was rather traumatizing for both of them, and I think they both would have been offended at the offer of a T-shirt.

FWIW, her accident happened near MM 299 on I-40 in Putnam County, where this accident happened. The cops were farking assholes, BTW. Anyone remember when those Tennessee cops shot that dog? That happened a few months before, on the same stretch of interstate.

Face it, people, SUVs are NOT safer than cars. I think they are more dangerous.
2005-01-02 11:30:18 AM  
"I Wrecked My Pickup and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"?
2005-01-02 11:39:08 AM  
Around here, some dumb high school jock was showing off while driving. In his mothers mini-van of all things. He was the only one not wearing a seatbelt. Sho-nuff, the van went into a ditch. Without the seatbelt holding him in, he was partially ejected while the van was rolling and promptly had a ton of metal squish his head like a grape.

My dad is the lead tech in the imaging department in the hospital, so I got a good look at the x-ray. There was no skull fragment more than a couple inches across, save his jawbone, which was halved.

This and others may explain why he drives ten miles under the speed limit.

/...and doesn't drink
//...or ride a motorcycle
///...or do anything risky at all.
2005-01-02 11:40:45 AM  
ZekeMacNeil: Face it, people, SUVs are NOT safer than cars. I think they are more dangerous.

No, Zeke, it's the driver of said vehicle, not the vehicle that is dangerous.

Any asshat can drive like a douchenozzle and be dangerous. Personally, I'll take my two ton SUV over a 1,500 pound Miata anyday of the week.
2005-01-02 11:43:17 AM  
Seatbelt saved my life at least once. Ran off a road, hit a tree, hit a ditch, became airborne and flipped over the car. Someone came by and cut me out of the seatbelt, had to crawl out the window. Ugly stuff.

Needed surgery to fix my finger, back is screwed up to this day. Can't imagine what being thrown around like a rag doll without my seatbelt would have been like. Vegetable at best.

And now I find out I could have gotten a t-shirt? Some people never win.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2005-01-02 12:18:32 PM  
SUVs are NOT safer than cars.

SUVs are safer in most multi-vehicle collisions but much less safe in single-vehicle accidents, which tend to involve a vehicle going off the road. SUVs are less safe when they go off the road in an accident.
2005-01-02 12:20:45 PM  
I rearended some redneck in cookeville this past october and didnt get a t-shirt. maybe i should go down to the putnam co. courthouse or police station and demand one.
2005-01-02 12:48:02 PM  
ZAZ: SUVs are less safe when they go off the road in an accident.

The irony of which, a vehicle technically designed to go off road, is less safe off-road.

Still, I would rather have a couple tons of my SUV surrounding me in *any* accident then a bunch of fiberglass (god it hurt to write that statement, considering my absolute love with Vettes).
2005-01-02 01:04:30 PM  
Hey, I go to school in Putnam county! Yippee I feel special.

As to the dog incident, the local gov recently paid a shiatload of public money to get the bastard off the hook (which is something they like to do). Yes there are several cops in Cookeville that should not be cops however there are many decent guys. Personally I hate the damn Highway Patrol in the area more. Our campus cops are cool though and they are the only ones you deal with on campus unless you do some serious stuff. They like to go to the range near campus and shoot with the kids (and let people shoot their guns :)).
2005-01-02 01:16:32 PM  
I believe they have a similar reward for spelling your name correctly. In Alabama you get squirrel meat and a "Mission Accomplished" confederate flag bumper-sticker.
2005-01-02 01:20:48 PM  
Well I feel sorry for the folks in AL, guess thats why they can't spell. Here in TN you now get free lotto tickets for the same acomplishment...the lotto really helps education here ;).
2005-01-02 01:21:47 PM  
Heh, but here in TN people actually turn down the $3k-4k lottery scholarships because lotteries are "sin"...
2005-01-02 01:22:11 PM  
What sort of idiots don't wear their seatbelts?
2005-01-02 02:07:42 PM  
man n black "Personally, I'll take my two ton SUV over a 1,500 pound Miata anyday of the week."

But imagine how much safer it would be for everyone if we all drove the smaller wouldn't have some complacent road-douche plowing over entire families in his land yacht. I guarantee you people are more concerned about their surroundings and drive safer when they're not driving DOT-approved tanks.

/motorcycles for everyone
//grew up in Cookeville
2005-01-02 02:26:02 PM  
Instead of a free T-Shirt for crash survivors I believe a free new pair of underwear would be more apropriate.
2005-01-02 02:44:33 PM  

well it is basically an eternal black hole for sucking money away, *but* it's paying for my time at college, so i'm happy
2005-01-02 04:41:23 PM  
no, its a tax on people bad in math...but yes its paying for my college too :)
2005-01-02 08:49:20 PM  
Kinda reminds me of The Onion's "Instant Win Airbags"
2005-01-02 09:00:43 PM  
I used to work for the stupid UCDD. Bunch of beaurocrat shiat-heads...

I also used to train the Cookeville Sheriff's Reserve and some of the City Police officers in marital-arts. And, yup - a bunch of them are shiat-heads too!

But this win a t-shirt is unbelievable! I used to want to go back to Cookevegas to live and raise my family. Not so anxious anymore with tax-dollar/money-wasting antics like this.
2005-01-02 09:48:03 PM  
I love when my hometown makes Fark. I moved from Cookeville to Orlando home of the infamous Good new follows me like a case of the mange.
2005-01-02 10:23:29 PM  
Damn, you people are slacking! I can't believe nobody posted this article from The Onion..



----------------------------------------------------------------------​-------- --

DETROIT--With fourth-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday.

The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact with another car or stationary object, will come standard in all of the company's 1997 cars.

"Auto accidents have never been so exciting," said GM vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who expects the contest to boost 1997 sales significantly. "When you play the new GM Instant Win Airbag Game, your next near-fatal collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl XXXII. Or a year's worth of free Mobil gasoline."

Though it does not officially begin until April 1, 1997, the airbag promotion is already being tested in select cities, with feedback overwhelmingly positive.

"As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I thought to myself, 'Oh boy, this could be it--I could be a big winner!'" said Cincinnati's Martin Frelks, who lost his wife but won $50 Sunday when the Buick LeSabre they were driving hit an oil slick at 60 mph and slammed into an oncoming truck. "When the car stopped rolling down the embankment, I knew Ellen was dead, but all I could think about was getting the blood and glass out of my eyes so I could read that airbag!"

"It's really addictive," said Sacramento, CA, resident Marjorie Kamp, speaking from her hospital bed, where she is listed in critical condition with severe brain hemorrhaging and a punctured right lung. "I've already crashed four cars trying to win those Super Bowl tickets, but I still haven't won. I swear, I'm going to win those tickets--even if it kills me!" Kamp said that as soon as she is well enough, she plans to buy a new Pontiac Bonneville and drive it into a tree.

GM officials are not surprised the airbag contest has been so well received. "In the past, nobody really liked car wrecks, and that's understandable. After all, they're scary and dangerous and, sometimes, even fatal," GM CEO Paul Offerman said. "But now, when you drive a new GM car or truck, your next serious crash could mean serious cash. Who wouldn't like that?" Offerman added that in the event a motorist wins a prize but is killed, that prize will be awarded to the next of kin.

According to GM's official contest rules, odds of winning the grand prize, a brand-new 1997 Cutlass Supreme, are 1 in 43,000,000. Statistical experts, however, say the real chances of winning are significantly worse. "If you factor in the odds of getting in a serious car accident in the first place--approximately 1 in 720,000--the actual odds of winning a prize each time you step in your car are more like 1 in 31 trillion."

Further, even if one is in an accident, there is no guarantee the airbag will inflate. "I was recently broadsided by a drunk driver in my new Chevy Cavalier," said Erie, PA, resident Jerry Polaner. "My car was totaled, and because it was the side of my car that got hit, my airbag didn't even inflate. But what really gets me is the fact that the drunk driver, who rammed my side with the front of his 1997 Buick Regal, won a $1000 Office Depot gift certificate. That's just wrong."
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