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(LodiNews.com)   Wackiest police calls of 2004 for small town California   (lodinews.com) divider line 70
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25185 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2005 at 1:25 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-31 11:05:58 PM
Aug. 25, 12:11 p.m.: A suspicious man in a black leather jacket was riding a seatless bicycle while looking into vehicles at City Hall, 221 W. Pine St. Twenty minutes later, he was taking a bath in the adjacent fountain.


Best Story Ever
 
2004-12-31 11:13:13 PM
where's my slanderous letter from Santa?!


whiskey tango foxtrot.
 
2005-01-01 12:05:54 AM
Sept. 6, 8:30 p.m.: A man at the Comfort Inn, 118 N. Cherokee Lane, said someone was chasing him. An hour later, after switching to the Budget Inn, 917 S. Cherokee Lane, he was saying that people were locking his room door. Another hour later, this time at the Holiday Inn, 1140 S. Cherokee Lane, he said people were following him. At midnight, he was still calling 9-1-1. Two hours later, officers began a case against him because he would not stop calling 9-1-1.
 
2005-01-01 12:08:47 AM
Most of those people were on meth, PCP, or just plain insane :p
 
2005-01-01 01:04:33 AM
It hasn't happened often in my life, but I regret that in 2004 I had to pass through this town. O, cleanse me, 2005.

This song pretty much tells it like it is:

If I only had a dollar for every song I've sung
Every time I had to play while people sat there drunk
You know I'd catch the next train back to where I live
Oh Lord, I'm stuck in a Lodi again
 
2005-01-01 01:18:42 AM
Nov. 18, 8:12 a.m.: A man wearing a raincoat and hat was talking to himself at the Depot, 24 S. Sacramento St. He said he had an "automatic mechanism" and "has everything under control."

Am I the only one thinking that could so be taken in a pervy manner???
 
2005-01-01 01:29:10 AM
Dammit i'm gonna sue Santa
 
2005-01-01 01:29:20 AM
"It took a whole cigarette for the light to change"

I've been there too, brotha.
 
2005-01-01 01:36:04 AM
May 4, 3:59 p.m.: A woman on Allen Drive wanted to talk to an officer about what might happen in the future.

Holy shiat!
 
2005-01-01 01:37:37 AM
nardman
Most of those people were on meth, PCP, or just plain insane :p

People on meth in Lodi, not really hard to imagine.
 
2005-01-01 01:37:55 AM
The sad thing is that I live there, and never get that kind of "entertainment"
 
2005-01-01 01:38:02 AM
FARK ain't exactly off to a roaring start in 2005.

Highpoint of article.

Nov. 18, 8:12 a.m.: A man wearing a raincoat and hat was talking to himself at the Depot, 24 S. Sacramento St. He said he had an "automatic mechanism" and "has everything under control."
 
2005-01-01 01:38:47 AM
Our police blotter is better.
 
2005-01-01 01:41:06 AM
The Arcata Eye police log is the yardstick against which all others should be measured.
 
2005-01-01 01:41:24 AM

July 24, 12:17 a.m.: A dog with no respect for people who have to get up early was barking in the 600 block of North Church Street.


There's nothing more annoying than a neighbor's dog barking non-stop from 12:30-2am. This isn't so retarded.
 
2005-01-01 01:44:38 AM
2005-01-01 01:41:24 AM Fell In Love With a Chair



July 24, 12:17 a.m.: A dog with no respect for people who have to get up early was barking in the 600 block of North Church Street.

There's nothing more annoying than a neighbor's dog barking non-stop from 12:30-2am. This isn't so retarded.


We had a dog that did that as well where I once lived. One day while I was spraying weed killer along a wooden fence line, the dog busted thru and tried to bite me. He got a mouth full of roundup, never barked again.
 
2005-01-01 01:45:05 AM
It "took a whole cigarette for the light to change"

And that's in a small city!

/can smoke a whole cigarette during the time it takes for the light to change turning left onto my street.
 
2005-01-01 01:48:28 AM
"May 4, 3:59 p.m.: A woman on Allen Drive wanted to talk to an officer about what might happen in the future."

/Sarah Connor?
//Back to the party for me now.
 
2005-01-01 01:54:47 AM
KP97DC
If I recall, our problem got solved when the next door neighbors (i was a couple of houses down) got totally smashed and, in the middle of the night, ran out to the dog kennel/fenced-in-area and started screaming and barking back.

But goddamn, I think i'd rather hear screaming shreiking kids than dogs barking all night long.
[/threadjack]
 
2005-01-01 01:55:24 AM
California is the meth capitol of the world, and the fine citizens of Lodi are doing thier part.
 
2005-01-01 01:56:34 AM
"A balding man was walking back and forth in the 0-100 block of West Vine Street, yelling, knocking on doors, cracking a bull whip and holding a sword cover."

Which offense was he really called in for? Yelling? Cracking a whip? Knocking on doors? Going bald?
 
2005-01-01 01:59:49 AM
My hubby works for the police as a dispatcher and I've heard some doozies I tell ya. These are pretty tame in comparison.
 
2005-01-01 02:01:35 AM
none of those were really all that wacky
 
2005-01-01 02:02:03 AM
Dec. 28, 7 a.m.: Someone complained about a rooster crowing on Christmas morning in the 300 block of Flora Street.

Expect a New Years' noise complaint from them on January 3 or so.
 
2005-01-01 02:04:21 AM
Yelling? Cracking a whip? Knocking on doors? Going bald?

Was it one of the Zucchini Brothers? Ripe or Green?
http://www.velocity.net/~goforit/zuke.html
 
2005-01-01 02:05:46 AM
"I need a bambalance..."
 
2005-01-01 02:09:05 AM
Is this the Lodi as in "stuck in Lodi again" from CCR?
 
2005-01-01 02:09:26 AM
April 5, 4:53 p.m.: Two females armed with golf clubs were fighting at Bellflowers Apartments, 205 Daisy Ave. They were separated by the time police arrived.

The "time police"? I knew it. The portal is in Lodi!!!!!
 
2005-01-01 02:09:41 AM
that is one really farked up small town.

slanderous letter FROM santa... thats the best story ever!
 
2005-01-01 02:09:47 AM
granolasteak ->"Which offense was he really called in for? Yelling? Cracking a whip? Knocking on doors? Going bald?"

I LOVE YOU granolasteak!
 
2005-01-01 02:10:41 AM
Just about a year ago,
I set out on the road,
Seeking my fame and fortune,
Looking for a pot of gold.
Things got bad, and things got worse,
I guess you will know the tune.
Oh ! Lord, Stuck in Lodi again.

Rode in on the Greyhound,
I'll be walking out if I go.
I was just passing through,
Must be seven months or more.
Ran out of time and money,
Looks like they took my friends.
Oh ! Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.

The man from the magazine said I was on my way.
Somewhere I lost connections, ran out of songs to play.
I came into town, a one night stand,
Looks like my plans fell through
Oh ! Lord, Stuck in Lodi again.
Mmmm...

If I only had a dollar, for ev'ry song I've sung.
And ev'ry time I've had to play
While people sat there drunk.
You know, I'd catch the next train back to where I live.
Oh ! Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.
Oh ! Lord, I'm stuck in Lodi again.
 
2005-01-01 02:15:02 AM
Oct. 15, 9:08 p.m.: A man violated a restraining order, entered a house in the 1000 block of Laurel Avenue, took a parrot and threatened to kill it.

was the restraining order against the parrot?
 
2005-01-01 02:30:17 AM
Jay Leno used the slanderous letter from santa as part of his Headlines segment once. I knew I had heard it somewhere before. Stuff like this just cracks me up.
 
2005-01-01 02:40:05 AM
If California ever needed a enema Lodi would be the place to stick the tube. I'm sure there's a flot of good people there, but there's an awful lot of meth in that town. Lodi is the Oklahoma of California.
 
2005-01-01 02:49:43 AM
Hmmmm.... in case no one has brought it up.. this looks suspciously like fake news.
 
2005-01-01 02:56:33 AM
Haven't been to Lodi, but I've been to a cali meth town where these events are normal.
 
2005-01-01 03:01:38 AM
Look at the links at the bottom of that page where they post "Today's News".

Headline:

Woman arrested after driving backwards from Lodi Police station.
 
2005-01-01 03:10:51 AM
Ang6666...Most people woulda called the department of homeland security for that in other parts of the country.

May 24, 10:53 a.m.: A man went to the police station because he thought his boss may have attached a device under his truck.<-What else should he have done...got in and started it up?

July 24, 12:17 a.m.: A dog with no respect for people who have to get up early was barking in the 600 block of North Church Street<-Really what city is this? Have you guys never lived in the country?

Aug. 25, 7:23 a.m.: A balding man was walking back and forth in the 0-100 block of West Vine Street, yelling, knocking on doors, cracking a bull whip and holding a sword cover.<-When I was about 10 my neighbor in the duplex next to me was out in the rain with a baseball bat in his underwear beating the drainpipe that ran down the side of the house...this town is weak

Sept. 13, 1:42 a.m.: A caller drove over a piece of carpet that was on fire in an alley between Pine and Oak Streets and put it out.<-I think he shoulda called the firedept :-P

Ok, this town is retarded...I know why it why CCR sang about being stuck in Lodi....I would want to leave too....screw you guys I'm going home.
 
2005-01-01 03:15:43 AM
I grew up in Lodi (thank god I've left - CCR had it right on), but I find these absolutely hilarious too. The submitter - from Lodi too?
 
2005-01-01 03:27:49 AM
Aug. 25, 7:23 a.m.: A balding man was walking back and forth in the 0-100 block of West Vine Street, yelling, knocking on doors, cracking a bull whip and holding a sword cover.
BAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!

April 5, 4:53 p.m.: Two females armed with golf clubs were fighting at Bellflowers Apartments, 205 Daisy Ave. They were separated by the time police arrived.
There can only be ONE!!!
 
2005-01-01 03:29:57 AM
Crazy Lodi people.... Smell Like cabbage.
 
2005-01-01 04:15:11 AM
June 2, 5:02 p.m.: A juvenile duct taped to a chair was seen running south on Mills Avenue.
how the fark do you run if your duct taped to a chair?
 
2005-01-01 04:15:20 AM
Some fun ones from my local newspaper "The Union" (www.theunion.com)

A caller reported at 6:03 p.m. that someone was selling meat from a truck in a driveway on the 16900 block of George Way.

At 5:52 p.m., a caller on the 600 block of Freeman Lane reported that a man in a sedan was performing sexual acts inside the car. The man told police he had a hernia and needed to adjust it.

A man suffered minor burn injuries after his pants caught fire at a furniture manufacturing business on Charles Drive at about 11:26 p.m. Reportedly a spray solvent that had ignited spread to the pants he was wearing

At 3:02 p.m., a woman reported that while walking her dog on Kidder Avenue, she came upon several youths who were doing something strange to dead animals. When the dog grabbed something, the woman reported, a boy pulled out a gun and told her he would shoot her. When she got home, the woman said, she noticed her dog had a dead cat head in its mouth. Officers found no evidence to corroborate the woman's story.

A caller on the 500 block of Butler Street reported that he heard someone screaming and went outside to find a woman lying in the street. When he asked her if she was all right, the man reported, she started yelling at him, ran inside a residence and appeared to be smashing things inside. Police contacted the woman, who said she was just having an argument with herself

A caller said someone was yelling in Dutch on the 18000 block of Royal Plum Way.

At 7:34 p.m., a caller on the 16400 block of Pine Knoll Road reported finding a suspicious note on the porch. The note read: "From Jesse Jams, P.S. Really give us your $, we know where you live."

At 2 a.m., a caller reported a young man was urinating on shopping carts near the Flour Garden on Neal Street.

A caller reported at 1:05 p.m. that she was walking on the Osborne Hill Trail, near Osborne Hill Road, and, for the second time, found ladies' undergarments scattered in a tree.

At 12:03 a.m., a caller reported that a suspicious looking moving van was parked on Brewer Road with furniture sitting behind it. The police responded and determined that people were there and moving in.

A caller reported in the morning that someone was in the alley near the 300 block of Broad Street covered in silver paint and possibly drunk.

At 12:53 p.m., a caller on the 100 block of East Main Street reported that a man was standing outside with his pants down and was "playing with himself." Police could not find the man at the time, but arrested him later outside of the Holbrooke Hotel for drunken behavior.

A woman reported at 1:57 p.m. that someone threw a wet paper towel on her vehicle from the upper corner apartment on the 300 block of Pleasant Street.

A caller reported at 11:38 a.m. that he was trying to purchase meth from a woman and she took his $80 but refused to give him the drugs. When police responded, the caller was missing.

At 3:43 p.m., a caller at the North San Juan Cemetery, off Highway 49, reported finding a red substance, possibly blood, on several head stones, and a hole in the ground where a graveside should be. The sheriffs department did not take any action.

At 6:18 p.m., a caller at the Del Oro Theatre reported that a man inside the cinema was probably drunk. The man had reportedly spilled a beer. He also had a "porno magazine and his fly was down."

At 11:42 a.m., a caller on the 300 block of Alexander Street reported that there was a suspicious car parked by her residence.
In the car, a man reportedly was lying in the back seat, with his pants open and his genitals exposed. Police interviewed the man, who told them that he had been asleep. He said that his friends pulled a practical joke on him and were responsible for him being without his pants.

A man and a woman were reported at 10:59 p.m. to be lying in the rear driveway of the Holbrooke Hotel and having sex. The man was arrested on suspicion of violating probation and was booked at Wayne Brown Correctional Facility. The woman was also cited, but not arrested. She reportedly urinated on the sidewalk and was then cited for urinating in public.

A gnome with a red hat was reported stolen at 4:39 p.m. on the 300 block of Clay Street

God, I love small town life...
 
2005-01-01 05:26:13 AM
HAHAHA... The tiny little town I was born and raised in makes it on Fark.
 
2005-01-01 06:09:41 AM
Don't live there anymore, but my parents do and they always have an awesome police blotter (from the Imperial Valley Press, Imperial County, Ca.):

Tractor used in border crossing attempt denied

A Mexicali man who tried to rumble into Mexico on a stolen tractor was turned around Wednesday by Mexican customs officials at the Calexico East Port of Entry and then arrested by a Calexico police officer.
Ignacio Flores Ordaz, 54, said he took the $60,000 tractor from an east Calexico field because the owner of the tractor owes him money.
Calexico police contacted the tractor's owner, who didn't know the tractor had been stolen, and returned the implement.


Yep, just your regular everyday tractor-jacking.
 
2005-01-01 07:39:10 AM
I can't believe nobody commented on this little jewel:

Oct. 12, 12:46 a.m.: A woman's house was shaking in the 300 block of East Pine Street, and it was not caused by music.

WTF! Was the house out of Amityville Horror or was there an earthquake? What's the deal? It doesn't state that a woman reported her house shaking; it says the house WAS shaking.
 
2005-01-01 08:15:34 AM
unplanned ninja attack:

Our police blotter is better.

Police blotter, man.... one hit and you're farkin' GONE!
 
2005-01-01 08:42:53 AM
Sept. 15, 5:44 p.m.: A man with no shirt, shorts or shoes stole shoes from a fellow patient in the emergency room at Lodi Memorial Hospital, 975 S. Fairmont Ave., and ran from the hospital.
lol

but that one

Aug. 25, 12:11 p.m.: A suspicious man in a black leather jacket was riding a seatless bicycle while looking into vehicles at City Hall, 221 W. Pine St. Twenty minutes later, he was taking a bath in the adjacent fountain.

truly fantastic
 
2005-01-01 08:57:09 AM
Lost_in_Korea:

WTF! Was the house out of Amityville Horror or was there an earthquake? What's the deal? It doesn't state that a woman reported her house shaking; it says the house WAS shaking.


Hey, if the house is rockin', don't come knokin'...
 
2005-01-01 09:30:33 AM
lodi: Lots Of Dumb Italians



/usually applies to Lodi, NJ
 
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