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(AP)   Transplant surgery restore's man's tears   (apnews.myway.com ) divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

3220 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2005 at 5:39 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2005-01-01 12:29:09 AM  
I feel sorry for this guy. That has to suck.
 
2005-01-01 01:10:05 AM  
Amazing what doctors can do at times.
 
2005-01-01 03:27:05 AM  
I wonder if the surgeons can also remove the extra ' in the headline and donate it to some headline that truly needs it.
/punctuation nazi
 
2005-01-01 03:44:02 AM  
"Transplant surgery restore's man's tears"

They could have skipped the operation, and just gave him the bill. Same end result.
 
2005-01-01 05:43:08 AM  
The guy went to the doctor's because His tear things didn't work? what a crybaby
 
2005-01-01 05:52:55 AM  
"Man goes to a surgeon so he can cry again"

This guy's gonna get a lot of chicks. That's uber-sensitivity.
 
2005-01-01 05:55:14 AM  
geez, 22 years of putting in eyedrops every ten to fifteen minutes. i can't even do it once, that's pretty messed up.
 
2005-01-01 05:55:54 AM  
Couldn't they just splash some water in the guy's face and save him a few thousand dollars?
 
2005-01-01 05:59:20 AM  
But on Thursday, Dr. Randal C. Paniello transplanted a saliva gland from Beck's neck to a spot near his temple, where it can provide moisture that can preserve the eye.

So the scent of a good steak cooking will bring a tear to his eye?
 
2005-01-01 06:00:12 AM  
Shouldn't tha't be:

"Transplant surgery restore's man's tear's"

If you're go'ing to throw in erroneous apostrophe's, you might as well do it prop'erly.
 
2005-01-01 06:03:00 AM  
So the scent of a good steak cooking will bring a tear to his eye?

doesn't it bring one to yours? good food is something to be emotional about, after all.
 
2005-01-01 06:05:24 AM  
No tear ducts, inverted eyelashes, half blind and he was still able to score a set of twin boys!
 
2005-01-01 06:09:45 AM  
Cool? Well, okay since he can't cry, I guess the SAD tag dosn't apply here.
 
2005-01-01 06:14:48 AM  
[image from maddiesdolls.com too old to be available]

"uuulllllll...cnnnnnnnnnn..."
 
2005-01-01 06:36:55 AM  
Emo kids are sure to get extra tear-ducts installed. They'll be donated by rednecks and metalheads who say "real men don't cry."
 
2005-01-01 07:19:38 AM  
"Doc did it work?"?
*kicks him in the nuts*
"You're a...*sob* miracle worker!
 
2005-01-01 07:35:41 AM  
Having a condition like that must of been a nightmare.
 
2005-01-01 08:19:57 AM  
GreenAdder
Emo kids are sure to get extra tear-ducts installed. They'll be donated by rednecks and metalheads who say "real men don't cry."

Real men cry. They just don't do it to get pussy.
 
2005-01-01 08:34:32 AM  
No, real men cry to get pussy. But then they lie about it.
 
2005-01-01 08:34:52 AM  
Real men don't use unnecessary apostrophe's
 
2005-01-01 08:53:59 AM  
Kevbo, stuie,

I think the submitter put in the excess punctuation to serve as rather charming depictions of ';' lachrymations.

And speaking as a real man, I can heartily endorse a good sob now and again, as it has been proven to notch a couple of extra years on your tally.

All together now...
 
2005-01-01 08:57:06 AM  
Real men cry...

when Spock dies
the keg is empty
he sits on his balls
she orders the lobster
 
2005-01-01 09:32:08 AM  
But were they able to graft on a new vagina?

/didn't rtfa.
 
2005-01-01 09:50:37 AM  
So take a good look at my face
You know my smile looks out of place
If you look closer it's easy to trace
The transplant of my tears
 
2005-01-01 10:11:17 AM  
this should have been the "man eats own eye" story of 2004.
 
2005-01-01 10:27:40 AM  
I didn't know guys can cry?

/didnt RTFA
 
2005-01-01 11:27:05 AM  
[image from angryflower.com too old to be available]

I cannot believe, after all this time, that people don't get it yet. Maybe the mods pick the bad ones on purpose..
 
2005-01-01 11:33:29 AM  
Should have had his eye-sockets sealed with mirrorshades and his tear ducts rerouted to mouth, so then crying would be spitting.

/obvious reference
 
2005-01-01 11:42:20 AM  
[image from members.aol.com too old to be available]

Just like Johnny's ma...

/ob'scure?
 
2005-01-01 12:39:35 PM  
The guy went to the doctor's because His tear things didn't work? what a crybaby

RTFA, the guy lost one eye because of ingrown eyelashes slicing it, and eyelids like sandpaper scratching the hell out of it. And the same is happening to his other one now.

-Clinton
 
jph
2005-01-01 12:57:10 PM  
I had Lasik two weeks ago, which messes up your ability to produce tears on a temporary basis. It's fine now, but for a few days I had to keep putting drops on. I can't imagine how bad that is for an entire life. And those artificial tears aren't cheap, either. From the sounds of it, this guy had a $10-20/week habit.
 
jph
2005-01-01 12:57:56 PM  
BTW, by drops I don't mean the medicine drops. I mean regular Bausch & Lomb artificial tears.
 
2005-01-01 03:26:19 PM  
It's ok, Cornelius, you can cry now.

[image from 10100.org too old to be available]
 
2005-01-01 06:34:32 PM  
RTFA. It's not about crying, it's about having a tear layer to keep his eyes lubricated like everybody else instead of having to use eyedrops all day.

Still, for some reason the headline made me think, "Transplant surgery restores bungee jumper's shiatted pants."
 
2005-01-01 11:42:04 PM  
Those aren't tears, we're vomiting from our eyes.

/Seriously, I hope the fellow is going to be OK
 
2005-01-04 09:33:15 AM  
Anyone else annoyed by that Restasis commercial, where the chick who played maggie on Northern Exposure dances around the fact that she doesn't need the product?

//drives me nuts
 
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