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(Some Faux-Mexican Guy)   Man reviews everything that's ever been on the Taco Bell menu. Ever   (angelfire.com) divider line 224
    More: Spiffy  
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25925 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2004 at 9:38 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-31 11:09:12 AM
Adman12: (From: http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=865233)


And that poor guy got his ass handed to him for posting it.
 
2004-12-31 11:10:00 AM
Haven't eaten at Taco Bell since January of 2002. Got food poisoning after eating two regular tacos on a Sunday evening. It was a long time before I could eat any Mexican food again - and even then - it has to be authentic. I tell you - those three days of pain - I saw hell! And it's name was my colon!

/in college, the BLT soft tacos were my favorite!
 
WD
2004-12-31 11:11:09 AM
I call shenanigans.
No Rancho Steak Burrito.
 
2004-12-31 11:12:00 AM
These people are nuts.
How can you say that TacoBell has the best quesadilla and still consider yourself a credible human being?

Obviously they've never had one made by a real Mexican.
Real Mexican kicks the crap out of TacoBell.
 
2004-12-31 11:14:53 AM
howlinmadmurphy:

I loved the breakfast burritos so frickin much, and they're not even on the list


I've been eating at Taco Bell all my life, and I've never seen a breakfast burrito. Might've been something local to you? Or you're thinking McD's.. I LOVE their breakfast burritos.

The awful design of the page made my mind melt. Anyone see if they had a review of the original Big Beef Burrito Supreme ? The things they are selling that they call that are just not anywhere near the same, and I'm not sure how
 
2004-12-31 11:15:02 AM
I'd say something stupid like, "It's not really a critique if you love everything taco bell makes, then it's just a fansite." But I love just about everything Taco Bell makes too, so I can't complain.

As with a MexiMelt. don't think, don't...just slouch and enjoy.

I have always said, since the invention of the MexiMelt it's the only thing I could still eat after thankgsgiving dinner.

--NEVER TOO FULL, NEVER!
 
2004-12-31 11:15:21 AM
Well, I was recently told by a friend in the meat industry (mmmm. meat. industry.) that Taco Bell is the world's single largest purchaser of what folks in the meat industry refer to as "face meat".

Yep. It's lips, cheek chunks, eyelids and the frown muscles. With lame pseudosalsa. On really nasty fake tortillas.
 
2004-12-31 11:17:47 AM
Although Adman12 beat me to the joke...

Was said man...fnorgby, per chance?
 
2004-12-31 11:17:59 AM
Rascalian:

Taco Bell = waiting for 15 minutes in the drive-thru while the idiots in front of you change their minds 4 times on what they want to eat, the cashier gets the order wrong, and then the aforementioned idiots find out that they don't have enough money to pay, and drive off without anything.


I'm stuck with the idiot (my wife) that changes her order 4 times before she comes to a final conclusion. I'm making a new rule for 2005:

If you don't know what you want when we near the fast-food joint of your choice, we are GOING IN to place an order rather than sit outside for what seems like an eternity with cars honking and teenagers inside snickering because you can't make up your mind.

I take our two year-old daughter and even she can order something up fairly quickly!
 
2004-12-31 11:18:48 AM
Taco Lite Ruled The World!! It wasn't really lite when you would eat 4 or 5 of them though.
 
2004-12-31 11:20:18 AM
What this dude's website needs is more exclamation points!!!!
 
2004-12-31 11:20:44 AM
Axion22:

Obviously they've never had one made by a real Mexican.
Real Mexican kicks the crap out of TacoBell.


No kidding. If I want fast Mexican food, I go to Taco Cabana. They're like Taco Bell only they serve actual food and they have a salsa bar, plus they sell beer. Too bad they're only in three states.
 
2004-12-31 11:24:32 AM
I had not recalled that fgnorby claimed to have been handcuffed, I will have to add that to my anti-fgnorby troll.

That thread was the greatest train wreck in fark history.

Over the next few days, the few times fgnorby posted, I seem to recall notes going up in other threads that fgnorby was in such and such thread, and there was a stampede over to that thread to flame him. Good times.

/I'm a loser
 
2004-12-31 11:25:54 AM
this site is going down so quickly...

/You want some more Cinnamon Crispas? If you don't, hasta la vista. Just take the rest home in a doggie bag. If you wanna, you can finish it manana.
/Weird Al
/too lazy to find n-tilde
 
2004-12-31 11:26:51 AM
ah ha!
he forgot the early 80s treat that was the "Shreaded Beef Burrito!"

it may have been way back in about 84, but damn it, i'm still convinced it was the best thing they ever made.
 
2004-12-31 11:27:05 AM
Cheesy gordita crunch was the best ever.
 
2004-12-31 11:28:34 AM
amrust:

Taco Bell food is always cold when you finally get it back to the table. Mexican food should always be above room temperature, at least.

What, is your table two miles away?

baldfatguy:

Well, I was recently told by a friend in the meat industry (mmmm. meat. industry.) that Taco Bell is the world's single largest purchaser of what folks in the meat industry refer to as "face meat".

Uh-huh...did your "friend" also tell you his neighbor's daughter's friend's uncle is Bill Gates?

dilaudid:

he should also post a follow-up of the best antacids to use after a meal at taco bell.

/recommends Tums - it has calcium


Weakling.
 
2004-12-31 11:29:24 AM
I think this might be turning into another fnorgby thread!
 
2004-12-31 11:32:18 AM
Awesome site. I wonder if there are similar review pages for other fast food joints, like Kentucky Fried Chicken or Burger King?

JR
 
2004-12-31 11:32:59 AM
No Frito Burritos or Frito Burrito Supremes, either.

Best thing they ever had on the menu.
 
2004-12-31 11:33:29 AM
bboy
I think this might be turning into another fnorgby thread!

D'ja think?

/
 
2004-12-31 11:37:55 AM
When did they get rid of those Cini-twist things? I used to love them. Of course, not much or I would have been to Taco Bell in the past 5 years.
 
2004-12-31 11:40:43 AM
What about the wild sauce? When taco bell had that (mid-90's), that was awesome...
 
2004-12-31 11:40:47 AM
ekdikeo4:

I've been eating at Taco Bell all my life, and I've never seen a breakfast burrito. Might've been something local to you? Or you're thinking McD's.. I LOVE their breakfast burritos.

There was a breakfast burrito, however, every location did not have them. They were fantastic. I clicked on the link just to see if they were mentioned.
 
2004-12-31 11:47:11 AM
Hell yeah, Disposable Rob, Taco Cabana is the stuff. I also really dig Atomic Burrito, it is like the Subway of burritos.
 
2004-12-31 11:47:22 AM
We've still got the fries here in Canada-land....mmm Fries BellGrande...
 
2004-12-31 11:48:46 AM
bluenova:

Yeah, i remember that, it was good, but still, i wouldn't consider it really to be that hot at all.

all of their hot sauces are pretty weak... the mild is actually the tastiest, has a lot of cumin in it... um... did that come out wrong...
 
2004-12-31 11:49:20 AM
Best. Headline. Ever.
HERE
 
2004-12-31 11:51:08 AM
"I also really dig Atomic Burrito, it is like the Subway of burritos."

What? That sentence does not make sense.

You mean Atomic Burrito sucks ass?

Because, you know, Subway does.

By the way, I'll never eat at Subway again. I almost got arrested for spending perfectly legal $2 bill at a Subway ten years ago.. . . .
 
2004-12-31 11:52:59 AM
halfof33

By the way, I'll never eat at Subway again. I almost got arrested for spending perfectly legal $2 bill at a Subway ten years ago.. . . .

Deja-vu
 
2004-12-31 11:53:13 AM
Hey! I've got a taco bell story!!!!
I used a 2 dollar bill and no one knew what it was!!
I was handcuffed to the drive thru window until batman and superman came to free me from the wicked witch.
frikkin morans...
 
2004-12-31 11:57:55 AM
Jabba!

It is spelled Moron. Please try to get it right.

/obvious again
//Hello Buck Naked!
 
2004-12-31 12:00:14 PM
The Chilito (chili cheese burrito) and double decker taco are my all time favorites.
 
2004-12-31 12:06:16 PM
The burrito with the tater tots.... mmmmmm tater tots, my God that was a long time ago.
 
2004-12-31 12:07:11 PM
Just because I have waaaaay too many people tell me taco bell is mexican food, let me get one thing straight: If a company nicknames a food product "Santa Fe" I can damn well garuntee the NO ONE who lives here in Santa Fe has ever seen/heard of it. We have real food here, like Carne Adovada, REAL blue corn enchiladas, and of course, menudo. All you wanna be trendy euro-trash artsy-fartsy type need to stop associating yourself with my hometown. You're gaying it up worse than the gays.

/Will be buying menudo at Posa's for lunch
 
2004-12-31 12:08:12 PM
flaggboy42:

Volcano Burrito!?!? Where the hell was the fricken Volcano Burrito??

Anyone else remember this? It was a burrito tie-in to the movie Congo, so it had no business being good... but it was the best burrito they've ever had!!!! And it's not on this guy's burrito page!



I remember it. It was the first thing I searched for when I went to this guy's page. I think the Volcano Burrito was the best (and messiest) menu item Taco Bell ever had.
 
2004-12-31 12:08:19 PM
yukichan:

Am I the only one who remembers an all beef burrito? Granted I only remember buying it at the Taco Bell on campus back in 2000.... But it was just a burrito filled with beef. Nothing else. Just beef. Damn it was good.

I remember those, too. A beef burrito. Just like a bean one. Came with beef, cheese, red sauce and onions. Yeah, those were pretty good.
 
2004-12-31 12:10:43 PM
How can you say that TacoBell has the best quesadilla and still consider yourself a credible human being?

Obviously they've never had one made by a real Mexican.



Funny, all the workers at the local Taco Bell seem to be Mexican...

/going to hell
//doesn't love Taco Bell, but will admit that for $3, you eat like a King.
 
2004-12-31 12:13:33 PM
I felt like a good system purge this morning to make room for consuming mass quantities tonight so I went to Taco Bell and got a few borritos and Tacos.

30 minutes later I'm sending my own secret chili sauce down the sewer.
 
2004-12-31 12:16:28 PM
Out this way, in my corner of the Sooner State, I have found a Taco Bell that has, maybe not THE, but something called the Enchirito. I was too skittish to try it, for fear of nostalgia-induced dissappointment. Any Lawton Farkers out there care to fill us in?


/Dr. Forrester said "Taco Beelzelbub" once.
 
2004-12-31 12:22:51 PM
Does anybody remember the Texas Taco Sandwich? I believe that's what it was called. They introduced it around the time they introduced the double decker taco. The commercial had Jack Palance in it. It had the regular taco fixings, plus some sort of zesty sauce, on a piece of pita or flatbread or whatever. Maybe it was a regional thing. Or maybe it was the basis for the Gordita. Anyway, this guy missed it.

Also, does anybody remember the extra long taco? Again, that was introduced around the same time as the double-decker, and like the aforementioned Texas Taco Sandwich it was pretty short-lived. It was the same as a taco... except longer. That is all.
 
2004-12-31 12:26:20 PM
the last time I went to taco bell I ordered a chilito
and they said "sorry we no longer have that item"
fuq tards I don't know if the chili cheese burrito is availible here in phoenix

does any one know?
 
2004-12-31 12:27:56 PM
Why is there no shrine for the idiot-celebs of fark, such as fgnorby or Bevets?
 
2004-12-31 12:29:10 PM
I swear if I had the money (and the arteries to back me up) I'd live on only Double Decker tacos and the caramel apple empanadas.
 
2004-12-31 12:30:48 PM
this girl i know ate taco bell a day after she got her tongue peirced. like two days later her tonuge swelled up to the point that it could barely fit in her mouth. she went to the doctor and it turned out that a roach had laid eggs in the meat she ate at taco bell, and got into her freshly peirced tongue, over the next two days the eggs were hatching inside her tongue. they immediately froze her mouth and split her tongue open, pulling out all the eggs, she took a look at the eggs and fainted, she also lost 85% of her taste buds.
 
2004-12-31 12:33:11 PM
w00t! Dear ole Dad is the manager of a Taco Bell. I've to show him this page and the thread.
 
2004-12-31 12:33:32 PM
Hey, Jabba, did Spider-Man show up and start a fight? Over hamburgers?
 
2004-12-31 12:37:35 PM
ozman

the days (Early 70's)when the 6-8 item menu was posted on the walls with large pictures and phonetic titles, (would you like a Buhr-Ree-Toe?) who remembers those?

Heh, I had forgotten all about that... back in the days when the parents taking us to Taco Bell was "exotic"...
 
2004-12-31 12:38:03 PM
i have eaten at taco bell exactly 5 times in my life.

3 of those times resulted in a hospital stay due to food poisoning.

Nowadays when given the choice between taco bell or starvation, i pick starvation every time.
 
2004-12-31 12:43:11 PM
pshaw:

Dear ole Dad is the manager of a Taco Bell.

well....

My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools.
 
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