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(tvnz.co.nz)   "Spiderman, Superman and Batman were involved in a minor altercation at 12.32 am at Wincheap on Christmas Day."   (tvnz.co.nz) divider line 151
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14718 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2004 at 12:22 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-30 01:08:33 PM
Well, excepting the Joker Batman is never beaten after the first fight. He fights, loses or just escapes and then comes back with an aresenal of toys and a plan to beat you down.

In DC Batman is the ONLY person who can continuously take down Superman. Doomsday won once, but he's since been re-smacked down.

Bats definitely wins. He would probably go, spend 20 minutes researching and find out Peter's whole life and attack when he leasts expect it, and take him out using nerve deadening gas (dampen the Spider sense) then a plain old smackdown while he's disoriented.
 
2004-12-30 01:09:15 PM
superman wins...easy victory...lol...
 
2004-12-30 01:12:54 PM
ooookay... glad we got that resolved.

Personally, if voting was enabled on this thread, I'd pick skinink to win.
 
2004-12-30 01:13:46 PM
The only reason Batman always beats Superman is because Superman winning is too boring and obvious. But all he really had to do is drop a mountain on the two or freeze breath them or fly off and use his laser eyes to nuke them both from orbit. He just doesn't. Same reason why a stormtooper can't hit anything.

/Superman's gay
 
2004-12-30 01:14:19 PM
Would you listen to these people, they are obviously a bunch of bat state kooks who can't see the truth right in front of thier eyes. They so gullible believing everything some wacko tells them. I swear I'm going to form the Spider States of America where all the sensible people can move and let all these bat staters enjoy thier lives in Batland!
 
2004-12-30 01:15:32 PM
worthless without pics...
 
2004-12-30 01:15:47 PM
Wesley Willis whupped both Batman's and Superman's ass. So using this methodology, Spiderman wins.

/too lazy to GIS wesley willis
//personally thinks supes would win. Unless Batman brings out the kryptonite that supes gave him.
 
2004-12-30 01:16:20 PM
This reminds me of an old comic strip:

A journalist is interviewing Superman, the caption is

"Ok Superman, can you please clear up what your position is; which do you stand for - The American Way, or those other things?"


Heheh. Wish I had a copy of that... anyone know of it?
 
2004-12-30 01:17:47 PM
Strange, I too thought of The Tick before getting to skinink's post. Spiderman, Superman, and Batman walk into a bar, The Tick jumped over the SPOON!
 
2004-12-30 01:17:52 PM
good arguements - maybe batman could win?

unless of course, spidey and batman fought, spiderman wins the first round, batman goes back, does his research on spiderman, then returns fully prepared. but before that happens, spidey teams up with superman. superman flies around earth, thereby reversing time, then spiderman continues to kick batman's ass.

/any single ladies out there?
 
2004-12-30 01:18:26 PM
fark nerds...lol...
 
2004-12-30 01:19:21 PM


The Question rules all.
 
2004-12-30 01:20:00 PM
I am wrong...and so is everyone else....a simple superman couldn't win....its got to be SUPERGIMPMAN! i'd kick ass..lol..
 
2004-12-30 01:23:52 PM

Tom Strong rules.
 
2004-12-30 01:24:43 PM
See, everyone is right Superman SHOULD win. However, anyone who has read his comics knows Superman is an idiot, and never remembers he has all these fancy powers. Technically he could kill Batman from orbit with his heat vision should he choose. However, he is too stupid to realize he has the capability.

Anyone see the Justice League where the evil Superman from the alternate dimension Lobotomizes Doomsday and beats him in like 5 seconds?
 
2004-12-30 01:27:26 PM


I've got ten bucks on Batman.
 
2004-12-30 01:27:55 PM
I still don't think Bats would have won over Captain America during the DC vs Marvel a few years back. Cap's fought more devious villians than The Dark Knight ever has. Especially when you consider the Crisis/Zero Hour reboots. Bruce never went face to face with Hitler.

/big Spidey fan.
 
2004-12-30 01:31:20 PM
Optimal_Illusion -- I was wondering about that, myself.

Further, both are supposed to be the premier hand-to-hand fighters of the respective universes but other than that why were they matched against each other? Their philosophies and styles are just too different.

I'm thinking Batman should have gone against Iron Man -- both are brilliant humans who have made their careers out of technology and training, and both have an unswerving fearlessness when it comes to getting the job done.

But what really ticks me off is Wolverine taking out Lobo... no. That's just wrong.
 
2004-12-30 01:40:39 PM
Yeah Nader, Lobo whopuld have won easily. Wolverine may be a bad ass, but Lobo is LOBO!!. He killed everyone else on his planet. He can go toe to toe with Superman. Sorry mutie, you be dead.
 
2004-12-30 01:43:09 PM
for llej22

Spiderman thought he was bad
He was screwing my day up
He was bothering my girlfriend
He tried to cut her out of seventy dollars

I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass

Spiderman messed with my girlfriend
Spiderman wrapped his arms around her with my bedroom door closed
Suddenly I opened the bedroom door on Spidermans stinky ass
I caught him kissing my girlfriend and beat him to a pulp with a rubber hose

I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass

Spiderman beat the hell out of me
He whaled me and knocked me to the floor
I tore out of his whale and threw him against the radiator
Spiderman was being such a stupid jerk

I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass
I whipped Spidermans ass

Rock over London
Rock on Chicago
Napa: its the parts store
 
2004-12-30 01:43:30 PM
I saw three geeks alter-ca-a-a-tin'
alter-ca-a-a-tin' alter-ca-a-a-tin'
I saw three geeks alter-ca-a-a-tin'
On Christmas Day in the mornin'
 
2004-12-30 01:49:15 PM
Well, in a issue of Wizard, readers were warned that the voting was going to turn on popularity. Otherwise The Main Man would have completely stompled Logan. (Yes, I said "stompled", my then eight year old nephew's mix of stomp and trample. It actually is a fitting word from time to time.)

/would like to see Batman go up against that weirdo Madcap.
 
2004-12-30 01:52:25 PM
Only in the comics would scenarios come up and be played out where Superman could be beaten by either Batman or Spiderman.

Let's face it, in real life, Superman wins... hands down.

/though I like Batman better, as a person... and now that Wesley Willis is no longer with us, Batman's top dog amongst earthlings again.
 
2004-12-30 01:53:43 PM
Yeah, but what if Superman and Jesus got into a fight? Who would win that, huh?
 
2004-12-30 01:56:24 PM
Yeah, but what if Superman and Jesus got into a fight? Who would win that, huh?

In real life or just in the comics? 'Cause in the comics they'd have to make it, you know, a close call... to keep the reader's interest and perpetuate debate...
 
2004-12-30 01:58:28 PM
Kooazndood: Tobey Maguire?

I'm willing to bet $50 and my brother's left nut that I'm the only girl in this thread right now.

Since I know jack shiat about comics and just read this thread because I figured it would have funny comments, someone answer this: How would the Crow manage in a fight? (I farking hate the Crow, the worse he gets pulverized the better)
 
2004-12-30 02:01:26 PM
Wow- I love a good DC/Marvel crossover.

My money is on Superman (it's always on Superman, he lets The Batman win- otherwise The Batman would be dead), but if Rohrschach was there he would have kicked everyone's arse.
 
2004-12-30 02:02:16 PM
How would the Crow manage in a fight?

Fark, that guy gets killed just making movies!
 
2004-12-30 02:03:16 PM
This has really turned into "Who is a better Starfleet Captain" arguement.

How can anyone argue who would win between Superman and Batman?
Barring all external forces (kryptonite), Superman would win.
Spiderman, I don't care what the movie tells you, is not THAT strong
(I'm sorry, he could NOT stop a runaway El Train with his webs like that)

And Batman is just a pissed off guy with a belt.
 
2004-12-30 02:04:50 PM
And Batman is just a pissed off guy with a belt.

And Rosa Parks didn't do nuthin' but sit her black ass down.
 
2004-12-30 02:04:52 PM
kb3edk

Guess my Wesley Willis collection isnt as complete as i thought it was...

/smacks forehead
 
2004-12-30 02:07:55 PM
Trail Mix beware. You are about to witness one of the least understood phenomena known to man: geeks who think they are impressing a girl with their knowledge of comic books.
 
2004-12-30 02:08:21 PM
Yeah it was a damn popularity contest, Wonder Woman a goddess would have whupped Storm 12 ways from Sunday.
Wonder Woman was granted strength and power by Demeter, beauty and a loving heart by Aphrodite, wisdom by Athena, hunting ability and unity with the beasts by Artemis, sisterhood with fire by Hestia and speed and the power of flight by Hermes. This combined with her natural skill allows her to stand as an equal to such figures as Superman and Captain Marvel.

And she is taken down by a lighning blast?!?!?!?!?!!!!
 
2004-12-30 02:10:26 PM
This has really turned into "Who is a better Starfleet Captain" arguement.

Meh, who cares about who is the better Starfleet Captain? We all know the Imperial Navy from Star Wars would own the fleet from Star Trek.

/entering full Nerd mode. Shields up.
 
2004-12-30 02:12:03 PM
What was that one about Wonder Woman being naked on a roof-top, writhing in a most inviting way, so when Superman flew over and saw her he figured he'd swoop down for a quick one, and he wound up cornholing the Invisible Man?

/I love that story!
 
2004-12-30 02:15:50 PM
LoveInAction

Only in the comics would scenarios come up and be played out where Superman could be beaten by either Batman or Spiderman.

Let's face it, in real life, Superman wins... hands down.


In real life??? We're talking about comic book superheroes here, right? Fictional characters. So the only conceivable way that they could fight is in a comic book. There is no possible "in real life" conflict to serve as an alternative.

Unless you are implying that you believe that Superman and Batman are real.
 
2004-12-30 02:18:38 PM
Shrugging Atlas:

Meh, who cares about who is the better Starfleet Captain? We all know the Imperial Navy from Star Wars would own the fleet from Star Trek.

/entering full Nerd mode. Shields up.



My nerdness completely agrees.
 
2004-12-30 02:19:16 PM
John1701q -- Ah, but don't forget that in the recent Joker's Last Laugh series, Dr. Polaris revealed that Wonder Woman had a vulnerability to electricity...
 
2004-12-30 02:22:59 PM
NineInchNader
John1701q -- Ah, but don't forget that in the recent Joker's Last Laugh series, Dr. Polaris revealed that Wonder Woman had a vulnerability to electricity...

Kind of limits her options for sex toys, doesn't it?
 
2004-12-30 02:24:30 PM
Nader, true you do have a point there.
 
2004-12-30 02:24:45 PM
I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then I could keep Superman AND Dracula away.
--Jack Handey (from memory)
 
2004-12-30 02:26:00 PM
In real life??? We're talking about comic book superheroes here, right? Fictional characters. So the only conceivable way that they could fight is in a comic book. There is no possible "in real life" conflict to serve as an alternative.

And what are your thoughts about that stalwart hero of Fark... CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

(puts his hands on his hips and tilts his head at a rakish angle)
 
2004-12-30 02:29:10 PM
Meh, who cares about who is the better Starfleet Captain? We all know the Imperial Navy from Star Wars would own the fleet from Star Trek.

*Taking the bait, firing photon torpedoes*

I'm a fan of both, but the Star Wars Universe would be a lot more plausible if it weren't for the total lack of continuity and thought behind the idea. At least NASA consultants were involved in the creation of the Star Trek Universe. I think the primary ingredients in Star Wars were Dune, Lord of the Rings, a Joseph Campbell textbook and an ounce of high grade Northern California kind bud.
 
2004-12-30 02:32:27 PM
Kind of limits her options for sex toys, doesn't it?

She doesn't need 'em! She can have her pick of all the superheroes AND mortals.

/anytime... anywhere. Except for the Invisible Man, because one time... aw, nevermind.
 
2004-12-30 02:32:32 PM
How would Batman do against Sarcastro?
 
2004-12-30 02:33:27 PM
NineInchNader, I'm even worse; I know that it was the Tower of Babel storyline, written by Mark Waid. Ra's AlGhul and Talia steal Batman's contingency plans; Plastic Man gets frozen, Aquaman given a phobia to water, Martian Manhunter bursts into flame, Wonder Woman is put into a fantasy battle that she can never win, Superman is exposed to red kryptonite, and (the ickiest one), Flash is hit with a bullet that causes him to have epilictic seizures - at light speed.

"Gods, it seemed like weeks I was in there."
"Flash, you were only down for twelve minutes."
"Oh, god."

Great story line.
 
2004-12-30 02:38:12 PM
You're all forgetting about the technological marvel that could crush them all...



The S.S. More Powerful Than Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and The Incredible Hulk Put Together.
 
2004-12-30 02:42:10 PM
LoveInAction

Wait, did you just compare Batman....to Rosa Parks?

Am I missing something?
 
2004-12-30 02:50:02 PM
 
2004-12-30 02:50:21 PM
Wait, did you just compare Batman....to Rosa Parks?

Am I missing something?


The original poster said something along the lines of "Batman is just a pissed off guy with a belt", which made me think of that line from Barbershop where Cedric says "Rosa Parks didn't do nuthin' but sit her black ass down".

It was my way of fark-jesting about a) a movie reference and b) comparative humor of the two statements, i.e., both persons obviously did more or were more than the statements make out.

It wouldn't be the first time one of my jests fell flat, because...

Of course, nothing ever goes over anyone's head here on Fark... everyone always "gets it", but just didn't think it was funny.
 
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