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(St. Petersburg Times)   Someone at FSU has concocted a parody map of the "new" campus, including the Bigfoot Institute, Crop Circle Simulation Lab, Dept. of ESP Studies   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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14033 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2004 at 12:05 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-12-30 01:15:18 AM  
FSU grads are usually among the funnier stockboys at Wal-Mart. And if not for their Masters program, Florida's toll booths would be severely understaffed.

2004-12-30 01:17:27 AM  
Sayten: chiropractors have helped me...

Let me guess, they fixed all that back pain you were having by lightening your wallet?
2004-12-30 01:19:12 AM  
Don't be fooled by 'alternative medicine' people. Me and my entire family got ripped off by a "well known and widely praised" homeopathic medicine institute, to the tune of thousands of dollars. They said they could cure my ADHD, insomnia, and also for some reason I had severe vitamin deficiencies that could only be cured by taking so many vitamins my piss turned different colors. I took all their crappy pills, which was like $40 a bottle, and nothing happened.

Apparently the bastard "doctor" used a completely fraudulent method of diagnosing me, using some kind of electric device that he hooked up to laptop. Of course I also filled out a questionare beforehand about all my health problems and gave it to his nurse, which then probably briefed him so he knew what answers to feed me from his machine, which I later found out was illegal to do because it doesnt' diagnose anything and merely measures the electrical conductivity of your skin.

I should have realized he was a quack doctor when he went in between my 'diagnosis' and teaching about a dozen middle-aged hippies in a lecture hall classes about natural medicine.

My hippie aunt and uncle swore by him and told me that their all-natural lifestyle and natural medicine would keep all those nasty modern diseases away. Just today I found out my uncle has mouth cancer, and he doesn't smoke, drink, or chew.

digitalposer, before modern science came along, it was WIDELY accepted and well-documented that bleeding people would cure them of ailments, as well as leeches, burning candles on their skin, and other completely useless crap like acupuncture.
2004-12-30 01:19:31 AM  
FSU is a joke. The only reason students that went to high school in Florida go to FSU is if they didn't get into UF.

The FSU posters can lie to themselves about FSU. I do have to admit that FSU has a much better circus than UF though...
2004-12-30 01:21:35 AM  

I know of only one person who did that.

Like I said...UF doesn't compare when it comes to crim and theatre majors. Saying differently would be a lie.
2004-12-30 01:23:57 AM  
Oh yeah, and I took those crappy homeopathic pills for almost a year and absolutely nothing happened to cure any of my problems.

I took adderall for 2 years and it permanently changed the way I think. I just recently read that they did a study proving that taking stimulants for about 2 years will permanently alter the brain chemistry of a child with ADHD to make his brain more like that of a normal human.

Score one for the pill-pushers.
2004-12-30 01:24:07 AM  
I think spiderland just won the thread.
2004-12-30 01:31:36 AM  
You seem a bit gullible crackmonkey; there's a big difference between getting a massage from a masseuse or a back-cracking from a chiropractor and believing that homepathic medicine can cure ADHD. As far as the actual topic is concerned, chiropractors are not doctors, and chiropractic has no place in a University. However, it does feel pretty good and if your back is sore there's not much harm it getting a massage or going to see a chiropractor.
2004-12-30 01:34:37 AM  
Save for the Creationism Foundation, I would actually attend a school with that kind of curriculum.
2004-12-30 01:34:37 AM  
Penn & Teller surrender.

Episode 2 of

[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-30 01:37:52 AM  
notalent could also be called noclue. FSU and UF as state universities both have the exact same requirements for acceptance.

2004-12-30 01:42:42 AM  
It's like no one's heard of the placebo effect, all of a sudden.

Just get someone to walk on your goddamned back and crack it for you... it's cheaper. Plus you have an excuse when you have fat chicks over at your house.
2004-12-30 01:47:31 AM  
I think a chirpractor is much more relaxing than a fat chick. Just as a masseuse would be more relaxing than said fat chick. If a fact chick walked on my back, and my cancer went into remission, I wouldn't credit the fat chick. There's a big difference between an honest chirpractor who tells it like it is and one who tries to claim benefits beyond those which are provided. The beneficial effects of relaxing physical contact are well established, this is the sort of credit you should give a chirpractor, while dismissing the other claims that the zealots might put forth.
2004-12-30 01:59:20 AM  
It doesn't need saying that a university is better than a state school.
I like the map, finally, I understand a teacher's joke.
Maybe I'm getting old, too.
2004-12-30 02:06:19 AM  
Two years ago I injured my back severely. I went to a series of MDs and back specialists who did NOTHING except prescribe addictive painkillers and muscle relaxants.

After two months of this with no improvement, I went to a chiropractor. After my first adjustment, I felt better than I'd felt in weeks. After my third adjustment, there was no pain at all, and I was 100% recovered.

You can call them quacks if you want, but I'm living proof that chiropractic works for spinal pain and joint pain.

On the other hand, if you think a chiropractor can cure ANYTHING other than joint pain, you're being silly.
2004-12-30 02:12:18 AM  
GO CrimiNOLES!!!
2004-12-30 02:30:56 AM  
I always love a good turf battle. The chiropractics have stood up pretty well against probably the most fierce turf battlers in all of history. So you've got to give them credit for that.

I'll never go to a chiropractor because I am afraid of having my neck jerked quickly back and forth and feeling a sudden sharp numbness from the shoulders down.

But if some folks like that, then thats fine with me and they should be able to go have it done to them if they want.

If a university wants to put up a school for it, then they ought to be able to do it without a bunch of doctor-trainers throwing a fit cause its on their turf.

We know of course that the AMA has only the well-being of its patients in mind and not money or power or anything like that.
2004-12-30 02:31:50 AM  
chtorran, you think maybe a plain massage (wihtout all the chiropractic balance phooey) would've helped?
2004-12-30 02:37:36 AM  
I must admit, I know nothing about the school, but I have to say that chiropractic isn't always quack medicine.

I was a hardcore skeptic. But after being paralized and going thru multiple laminectomies/spinal fusion and only finding relief for about 6 months before the symptoms came back on the next available disc in line, I was ready to try anything. A crunchy friend of mine suggested his chiropractor. Farking quack medicine I thought. But I had nothing to lose.

Thankfully, he worked well with my doctor and nuerosurgeon and they actually exchanged information about my condition. After about 3 months of treatment, I was able to come off the pain meds and was able to have a real life. If you've ever had this kind of pain, you'll understand. It's like a perpetual debillitating migraine that you just have to learn to live with.

The treatment I recieved took the majority of that pain away and I only take asperin now and then for it. Poke fun as you will. Call it a placebo. It may well be. But that disc is no longer a balloon on the xray and I can feel all of my toes and sleep thru the night.

Something worked and it's the only real permanant results I've ever had. I still have my doubts about alot of alternative medicines (holistic, "healing massage", new-age chakra crap...) - but between chiropratic and acupuncture, I am walking without a cane.

/still no cure for my bad spelling.../
2004-12-30 02:47:37 AM  
I'll go to a psychologist before I go to a chiropracter.
2004-12-30 02:54:56 AM  
bigfoot is real!

/yep, thats right.
2004-12-30 02:56:20 AM  
kr0m0z0ne, pretty gullible? I was 16 years old at the time when they ripped me off. If you're going to blame anyone, blame my gullible family members for sending me there, and my gullible mom, who is a freakin nurse, for not knowing homeopathic medicine is a fraud.
2004-12-30 02:56:52 AM  
chtorran: "Two years ago I injured my back severely. I went to a series of MDs and back specialists who did NOTHING except prescribe addictive painkillers and muscle relaxants."

Been there. Glad you found some relief buddy...Not that I condone blowing off the surgeons, but man - I sure wish I had at least tried this before I had the initial surgery. It might have saved a year of MY life. Good luck to you.
2004-12-30 03:08:19 AM  

Hrnn...lie detectors, thousands of dollars, vitamins, alternative therapy...your aunt and uncle threw you to the scientologists! I think they got some 'splainin to do.

2004-12-30 03:15:48 AM  

If a university wants to put up a school for it, then they ought to be able to do it without a bunch of doctor-trainers throwing a fit cause its on their turf.

Ok, go back and read the farking article then comeback and apologise for your blazingly boneheaded stupidity.

It is the Florida legislature that is pushing this, not the university.

Yeah, the Florida legislature which is still a bastion of southern fried farkheads, racist KKK bastards and fundie idiots.

Is it any wonder that the new capitol building in Tally looks like an erect cock with two balls on the side for the "legislative" houses?

Let's just look at the contributions made by Florida's corrupt political system:

1. Claude Kirk, possibly the worst governor of any state

2. George Smathers, close to the most corrupt US Senator in modern times

3. Harold Carswell, Nixon's sorry-ass nominee for the Supreme Court and so gaaadam unqualified that even the Rebublicans in the Senate said "No way in hell!" This was even more justified less than a year later when Judge Carswell got busted by the Tallahasse police for soliciting sex from a 16year old boy in a mall restroom

3. Susan Harris, the Cruella deVille of Florida politics and the one person most responsible for Dubya being president. Too bad he cut her loose from her Senate run this year. So much for farking gratitude...

2004-12-30 03:26:01 AM  

I hate to tell you this, but if your chiropractor told you you had scoliosis, and that he could fix it, then you were 100% fleeced. Scoliosis is a physical deformity in the vertebrae and/or discs. In no case can scoliosis be treated by "manipulation" of the spine. Minor cases occurring during growth years (most cases) will be treated with a back brace, allowing the spine to grow into proper shape. Severe cases must be treated with surgery, frequently by fusing vertebrae. If you were given such a specific medical diagnosis by a chiropractor, then you should seek a second opinion from a responsible non-"alternative" physician and then consider legal action against the chiropractor. Either he diagnosed you with a condition you didn't have, or he falsely claimed to be able to treat it.

Even if you felt better after he was done, that sort of practice is unethical and possibly illegal. It's little different than if I heard you cough and said, "that cough is pneumonia, but for fifty dollars I'll give you this special anti-pneumonia syrup that is in no way identical to dime store cough syrup, and that'll fix you right up." This is exactly the sort of behavior that overshadows the entire chiropractic profession.

2004-12-30 03:36:07 AM  
I'll start by apologizing for jacking the thread for a moment.
FSU=Theatre Majors? What Method?

/note user name
2004-12-30 04:13:35 AM  
The Vegan Republican: Let me guess, they fixed all that back pain you were having by lightening your wallet?

Actually I was having trouble breathing due to a skateboarding injury... The actual cost of the visit to me was $11.

I went 8 times so at a total cost of 88 bucks I think it was well worth the relief
2004-12-30 04:17:38 AM  
I'm willing to bet that the majority of anti-chiro posters on here have never been to one...

My grandmother refuses to take pills she's prescribed from MDs because she doesn't trust them. All of these "OMGz its a quack duck!!11one lolz" are a lot like her: they're biased against a treatment because they heard it was not legit.

Kind of like psychiatry a while back... people always denigrating the 'shrinks' because they don't practice "real medicine."

Give it a few years.

Re: the article. I think it's a great idea. Better to have a formalized training at a real university. Allows for more research opportunities, too. **notice that on that all the articles on chiro point out that few studies have been done on chiro as most treatments are done family practice.** A university school would help eliminate that problem one way or another.
2004-12-30 04:31:10 AM  
Homer: One, two, better not sue.

Moe: It doesn't hurt anymore. Now I can focus on my cripling emotional problems. Why, daddy, why? Why won't you hug me? You hugged the mailman.
2004-12-30 04:50:48 AM  
Hey, spiderland, that's Homer's Spine-o-Cylinder!

Patent pending.
2004-12-30 04:53:20 AM  
Speaking of parody-maps of university campuses, here is an alternative map of the University of York campus in the UK (a 1983*1405 monochrome gif that pops).
2004-12-30 05:07:35 AM  
I have extensive experience with chiropractors, for a patient point of view and a professional one.

I have 5 damaged discs, 3 of them ruptured. Chiropractors almost killed me. The movement of the disks provides temporary release of some pressure, but the movements can be extremely dangerous.

But I have also never had surgery. The key to all back injuries is in the supportive muscle tissue. That's where the damage is! Strengthening the supportive muscles through extensive physical therapy is the key. I've had these disc problems for 25 years, with very few flair ups and no surgery! Any flair ups I did have, I went back to my PT course and was all set in short order.

I've also been in the health insurance business for years, both on the provider side and payer side. I started out working for chiropractors. Believe me, they are quacks and they know it.

Remember- if you have back trouble, it's the muscles, not the spine. Repeat, the muscles, not the spine. Even after disc damage occurs, and that only happens after a loooong time, not from a single incident, it's the supportive muscles, not the spine.
2004-12-30 05:26:28 AM  
I'm 21 years old and I've had back problems since I was in 9th grade. I went to a chiropractor, the first one didn't know what he was doing. All he did was an adjustment and then this shock therapy, where they send electrical signals to contract the muscles. The adjustments felt good, but were adjustments I could make on my own. I went for about 3 months and really didn't get better. I went to a second one, this guy actually got me to get x-rays and by this time, I looked up back problems on the internet, and I asked him if it could be a slipped disc. He said it was possible, but we looked at the x-rays first. My L4 and L5 vertebraes were twisted and formed a backwards C shape. This cause incredible pain. His diagnoses was that the vertebraes were pinching my disc and causing them to bulge into my spinal nerves. The pain he described matched what I felt. Each trip, he made adjustments, and had me do physical therapy, including stretching, strengtening and other ways to dissapate my backpain. I went for about 2 months and after which, we took another x-ray. My spine was straight and the backwards C was gone. It felt better, but it wasn't gone, there was a constant ache, but compared to the previous yehars, it was great. A few years later, the pain went from an ache to a pinching sensation again. I went to this chiropractor again and the x-rays looked fine. He prescribed an MRI. My bones were in place, but it showed that I had two bulging discs. He recommended a back specialist and he suggested surgery. I went for it, 5 years of back pain and aches were enough to convince. Chiropractors can fix some injuries and some need surgery. But like someone said, they can't fix everything. Also, it depends if you run into a crappy chiropractor after your money. Don't let a few apples spoil the bunch. I mean, not all lawyers are ambulance chasers are they?
2004-12-30 05:37:10 AM  
move to can a da
2004-12-30 06:12:03 AM  

2004-12-30 06:14:03 AM  
With the advent of "touchy - feely" relativistic psychiatry, I think its headed back towards quackery. Of course since that segment supports a specific political way of life, maybe not.
2004-12-30 06:40:12 AM  

I'm willing to bet that the majority of anti-chiro posters on here have never been to one...

I am similarly willing to bet, for example, that the majority of economists with a disdain for pyramid schemes have never undertaken a pyramid scheme, and that the majority of critics of "herbal viagra" have never bought "herbal viagra" over the web: this is clear evidence that they are in the wrong on this one. Obviously, without having undertaken an idiotic course of action, one cannot possibly attest to its stupidity!

Anyway, I've always thought these folks who argue drilling holes in one's skull can therapeutically release pressure were crackpots, but in the interests of alleviating myself of what is clear hypocrisy on my part, I'm going to do the only reasonable thing, and drill a whole in my skull, just to make sure that it is indeed an incredibly retarded thing to do. How could I know without trying it myself?
2004-12-30 07:08:53 AM  
Simple fact: People who think 'chiropractic' works lack both the necessary fundamental understanding of human biology and critical thinking ability required to understand why it can't possibly... and has in fact been proven not to be any more effective than placebos by bajillions of studies over several decades.

Anyone who tells me they've gone to a chiropractor immediately gets classified in the 'unhelpable dumb' category.
2004-12-30 07:15:14 AM  
Being a chiropractor, I am surprised about the ignorance of many people out there - but should I be that surprised?

The medical establishment has over the years degraded the art and science of chiropractic. And yes, it is a science. Yes there are a few chiropractors out there that would be considered "quacks", but the majority of us help millions of people everyday.

Health care needs to be administered from the lease invasive treatments to the most invasive. Some of the posts listed above state about how chiropractic helps by taking weight off your wallet. Complete nonsense.

Would you rather pay a couple hundred dollars for a few weeks of chiropractic treatment for low back pain? Or $30K+ for low back surgery that probably wont work?

Also people complain about having to go back for further chiropractic treatments - yet people have no problem going to physical therapy 3x a week for 8 weeks?

Im just glad to read some posts mentioning how well chiropractic has worked for them - and then replies by anti-chiros saying how it was all in their head. Im just sitting here thinking if you only had a clue. LOL.
2004-12-30 07:25:46 AM  
Yellow Jacket undergrad, FSU grad. Go Noles. Ugh.
2004-12-30 07:34:00 AM  

Simple fact: People who think 'chiropractic' works lack both the necessary fundamental understanding of human biology and critical thinking ability required to understand why it can't possibly... and has in fact been proven not to be any more effective than placebos by bajillions of studies over several decades.

Anyone who tells me they've gone to a chiropractor immediately gets classified in the 'unhelpable dumb' category.

Numerous studies throughout the world have shown that chiropractic treatment, including manipulative therapy and spinal adjustment, is both safe and effective. Many other studies have shown that chiropractic care can contain costs and get workers back on the job in less time than other treatments. The following are excerpts from a few of the more recent studies:

For Acute Low-Back Problems:
"For patients with acute low-back symptoms without radiculopathy, the scientific evidence suggests spinal manipulation is effective in reducing pain and perhaps speeding recovery within the first month of symptoms." - Clinical Practice Guidelines, AHCPR (1994)

For Long-Term Low-Back Problems:
"There is strong evidence that manipulation is more effective than a placebo treatment for chronic low-back pain or than usual care by the general practitioner, bed rest, analgesics and massage." - Spine, Van Tulder and Bouter et al. (1997)

"...improvement in all patients at three years was about 29% more in those treated by chiropractors than in those treated by the hospitals. The beneficial effect of chiropractic on pain was particularly clear." - British Medical Journal, Meade et al. (1995)

"Manipulative therapy and physiotherapy are better than general practitioner and placebo treatment. Furthermore, manipulative therapy is slightly better than physiotherapy after 12 months." - British Medical Journal, Koes et al. (1992)

For Pain:
"...patients suffering from back and/or neck complaints experience chiropractic care as an effective means of resolving or ameliorating pain and functional impairments, thus reinforcing previous results showing the benefits of chiropractic treatment for back and neck pain." - Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics, Verhoef et al. (1997)

"...for the management of low-back pain, chiropractic care is the most effective treatment, and it should be fully integrated into the government's health care system." - The Manga Report (1993)

For Headaches:
"Cervical spine manipulation was associated with significant improvement in headache outcomes in trials involving patients with neck pain and/or neck dysfunction and headache." - Duke Evidence Report, McCrory, Penzlen, Hasselblad, Gray (2001)

"The results of this study show that spinal manipulative therapy is an effective treatment for tension headaches. . . Four weeks after cessation of treatment . . . the patients who received spinal manipulative therapy experienced a sustained therapeutic benefit in all major outcomes in contrast to the patients that received amitriptyline therapy, who reverted to baseline values." - Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics, Boline et al. (1995)
2004-12-30 07:42:18 AM  
Blah Blah Blah Blah ..... FSU still is a bigger joke of a school than UCF. This only goes to further the belief that FSU is really a clown college

/Go Gators
//Got nothin
2004-12-30 07:44:18 AM  

Would you rather pay a couple hundred dollars for a few weeks of chiropractic treatment for low back pain? Or $30K+ for low back surgery that probably wont work?

Yes, real medical scienctific expertise and peer-reviewed, properly executed medical procedures are far more expensive than pseudoscientific nonsense executed by quacks. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Glad I live in Canada, and with universal medicare, the difference between a credible and costly surgical treatment and potentially damaging chiropractic meddling is that you PAY for chiropractic nonsense, while credible peer reviewed and tested medical practice is covered by medicare. Don't get me wrong, my grandmother got ripped off by chiropractors for years before finally getting proper treatment and analysis by real medical professionals, and so we've certainly got a thriving community of medical con artists or otherwise deluded quacks here north of the border too, but at least it's appropriately excluded from public medicine, which places it in an even more distant category of treatment.

It is not possible for a medical practice to claim credibility without proper and thorough active peer review, critique and endorsement by wider scientific scholarship. At present, chiropractic is not endorsed but is rather reviled by the entirety of the remainder of its peers. Until it gains the respect of the academic and institutional scientific community, it will be rightly avoided by anyone with a sensible interest in their bodily well-being and continue to be included in the same category as Creation Science - an idea wholly external to experimental science that's seeking to prove its conclusions for their own sake by picking and choosing bits of scientific fact as it wills. That's not how science works.
2004-12-30 07:46:18 AM  

"However for a state school to endorse Chiropractic (Latin Chiro meaning beads, and practos meaning rattles) is nonsense. Chiropractic has remarkabley limited utility and calling Chiropractors doctor is laughable. Claims that hypercholesteremia is caused by a subluxation in the spine is patently absurd, but Chiropractors make up nonsense daily. "

The word Chiropractic is derived from Greek meaning "done by hand.

Maybe you should get a clue before you start acting like an expert.
2004-12-30 07:48:47 AM  
Gotta love those Republicans in the Florida Legislature. It's got to be difficult keeping taxes low while diverting 9 million dollars in taxpayer money to promote dubious (at best) medicine.

Why does anyone on Earth still believe that any politician, especially a Republican one (since they are the ones who usually come across as so sincere in their plans to do so) will ever lower their taxes?
2004-12-30 07:50:42 AM  
FSU Criminology was NOT all it was touted to be.

The classes did not have enough of a "this stuff will actually help you in the real world" feel to it. I expected the program to help in preparing me to become a law enforcement officer and it failed. I got much more out of my classes taught by law enforcement officers and lawyers than any of the egghead professors.

.Of course, the general college expierence has served to develop me in to a better human being, more rounded, etc.

Oh, and the chiro school is a bad idea.

/FSU Crim grad as of less than a month ago
2004-12-30 07:53:18 AM  
You're a rabid anti-chiropite!
2004-12-30 08:11:28 AM  
I enjoy the Yeti Foundation.

/FSU Grad.
2004-12-30 08:50:28 AM  
A Comparison of Physical Therapy, Chiropractic Manipulation, and Provision of an Educational Booklet for the Treatment of Patients with Low Back Pain - New England Journal of Medicine October 8, 1998 v. 339 issue 15

Basically, they found no difference in outcome for patients who used chiro, got a massage, or read a manual on how to take care of your back. At least with a massage, there is the possibility of a happy ending. Link via

I have a few friends who swear by chiropractic -- and I don't doubt that it helps a bit, much like cracking my knuckles does, but they have to go back forever. None of them have gotten lasting relief.

Meanwhile, I have seen, first hand, chirpractic doctors pushing their practice as a way of total health, to cure specific diseases and boost the immune system. Pure bullshiat. So, in summary, there are good chiropractic doctors and bad ones, but you are better off skipping both and getting a wet rubdown at the Oriental Palace.
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