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(   $68,000 Buddha stolen. Police know nothing, so they got that going for them   ( divider line
    More: Misc  
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3837 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2004 at 6:37 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

60 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-12-27 05:00:15 PM  
Life is pain. Statues are transient. Police are stupid.
2004-12-27 05:05:39 PM  
Ha! Nice headline.
2004-12-27 05:46:16 PM  
great headline.

if you make 'something', you have 'something'!
2004-12-28 12:38:17 AM  
Brava, submitter, brava.
2004-12-28 06:47:39 AM  
Best headline in a while.
2004-12-28 06:47:49 AM  
Stealing budda makes baby jesus sad.
2004-12-28 06:53:35 AM  
That headline pushed me over the precipice into the void of nirvana. Bravo Submitter
btw how does a $68.000 materialistic idol to someone help your karma?
2004-12-28 06:54:48 AM  
which is nice.
2004-12-28 07:00:23 AM  
Once you realize that the statue was never lost and never found you have reached enlightenment.
2004-12-28 07:05:37 AM  
GR8 HEDLINBE VERY GOD A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

/i hate ebay nerds
2004-12-28 07:07:16 AM  
btw how does a $68,000 materialistic idol to someone help your karma?

Well, for starters, you no longer have $68,000 lying around.
2004-12-28 07:07:17 AM  
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
2004-12-28 07:16:02 AM  
I'm pretty sure I saw it at a hot dog cart outside my office. Guy walked up at lunch and said "make me one with everything".
2004-12-28 07:29:07 AM  
Great headline. Used to be that alt.zen was the funniest newsgroup out there, IMHO, but now it's polluted with a bunch of junk.

Example of a funny alt.zen exchange:

Joe Newbie posts: What is Zen?
Responder posts: Zen is the untrained mind asking, "What is Zen?"
2004-12-28 07:54:55 AM  
To reach nirvana, you must first clear your mind.

If my mind is empty, how will I know if I'm doing it right?
2004-12-28 07:59:56 AM  
Whats so great about Zen? They dont have a Zen Olympics. There isnt a Zen breakfast cereal.
2004-12-28 08:09:15 AM  
Nice job on the headline
2004-12-28 08:15:19 AM  
For 12inchpianist:

Sitting quietly
doing nothing
Spring comes and
the grass grows by itself.

--- Zenrin
2004-12-28 08:23:53 AM  
I'm pretty sure that if I sat around on my arse for four months, I'd probably weigh just as much as buddha.
2004-12-28 08:24:09 AM  
I have to laugh.
2004-12-28 08:30:59 AM  
2004-12-28 08:38:23 AM  
Let's send this guy to get it back!

[image from too old to be available]

/Ong Bak
2004-12-28 08:49:40 AM  
Nicolai il Kafir:

That headline pushed me over the precipice into the void of nirvana. Bravo Submitter
btw how does a $68.000 materialistic idol to someone help your karma?

If its beauty puts your mind at piece or in a state of mindfulness. Unlike the Golden Lotus with center Swastika lit up with dancing LED lights did for me last week.
2004-12-28 09:10:19 AM  
LOL - best headline in a long while.
2004-12-28 09:13:07 AM  
Goonga Aloonga
2004-12-28 09:13:43 AM  
Man, I can't wait to see Ong Bak in the theatre....
2004-12-28 09:15:00 AM  
Adding my polite applause to the golf-clap chorus for the headline...
2004-12-28 09:15:00 AM  
Police know nothing

Then they are already on the path to understanding.


Very wise.
2004-12-28 09:57:35 AM  
I love our FARK 'cause now and then
We get a little headline zen
Click a link and off we go
Exterminating our ego.
2004-12-28 10:14:48 AM  
Nirvana can't be me spitting coffee on my kybd!
2004-12-28 10:25:52 AM  
yeah, those thieves musta not seen Ong Bak ( trailers)
2004-12-28 10:26:56 AM  
They'll receive total consciousness.
[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-28 10:36:26 AM  
Hey, Lama, howabout something, you know, for the effort.
2004-12-28 10:43:39 AM  
idol worshippers!

/but please ignore that jesus stick you wear around your neck, m'kay?
2004-12-28 11:02:53 AM  
just logged on to say great headline :-)

//so zen
2004-12-28 11:13:02 AM  
Absolutely brilliant headline.
2004-12-28 12:07:42 PM  
"Canadian Jade stone"

Who knew they had jade quarries in Canada?
2004-12-28 12:10:30 PM  
On the deathbed one receives total unconsciousness.
2004-12-28 12:12:19 PM  
Great headline!
2004-12-28 12:57:34 PM  
Have they questioned Ed Gruberman?
2004-12-28 01:16:30 PM  
wow I never laugh out loud for a headline but this one cracked me up. nice job.
2004-12-28 01:22:48 PM  
I bet you get a free bowl of soup with that headline!
2004-12-28 01:31:07 PM  
The answer is obvioulsy that a pound of flax or a shiat stick stole the Buddha.
2004-12-28 02:04:39 PM  
They need more slack!

[image from too old to be available]

Hail Eris. 23, 5, 93 hut hut
2004-12-28 02:10:00 PM  
Yet another Kudos on the headline.
2004-12-28 02:19:34 PM

Ong Bak and Jackie Chan in Drunken Master 3? Combined, they can rescue a thousand buddha statues.
2004-12-28 02:22:15 PM  
Which is why buddah was a preacher and professional enlightenment seeker rather than a cop.

Kudos on the headline. Genius.
2004-12-28 03:19:37 PM  

If its beauty puts your mind at piece or in a state of mindfulness. Unlike the Golden Lotus...

...golden lotus?

[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-28 03:29:18 PM  
Prof. Frink: Guy walked up at lunch and said "make me one with everything".

I'll never stop laughing at that joke...:D
2004-12-28 03:41:11 PM  
Clever headline! Nicely done!
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