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(NY Daily News)   Halle Berry: "The day I saw my mom eating the Santa cookies on the plate was one of the most horrific days of my life. I never let her forget it. I had at least three more good years that I could have believed, had she not been so careless"   (nydailynews.com) divider line 147
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7684 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2004 at 12:52 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-25 08:42:59 AM
I caught my parents when I was five, get over it.

/pity me, i'm rolling in millions with my Oscar
 
2004-12-25 08:43:44 AM
Thanks to that headline there's no reason to RTFA.

Thanks o' plenty, submitter.
 
2004-12-25 08:49:18 AM
Maybe if her mom was a little smarter, she could have talked her way out of it. Santa's watching his weight...the cookies were so good that he wanted to share then with the family...something.
 
2004-12-25 10:05:55 AM
Santa?
 
2004-12-25 10:22:07 AM
Wait a minute... is she trying to say Santa doesn't exist?

*starts to cry*
 
2004-12-25 10:22:59 AM
I'd be glad to give Halle a horrific day to beat all others, but she won't return my phone calls or acknowledge my gifts.

/not a stalker, but I play one on TV
 
2004-12-25 10:25:59 AM
Oh boo frickety hoo.

I think it made Christmas more fun for my parents when my brother and I figured out there was no Santa.

Instead of ripping something open, widening our eyes, saying, "Wow!!" and in some way signifying our thanks for Santa, we did that, looked at them with a big grin, big, bright eyes, and said, "Thanks, mommy!" or, "Thanks, daddy!"
 
2004-12-25 10:33:13 AM
And it made no difference to myself or my brother - we still got free shiat, and got to shred things.
 
2004-12-25 10:40:05 AM
"And Mariah Carey is giving her loved ones socks - but what socks! Her new Mariah Kiss Kiss hosiery is decorated with diamantes. Her closest pals are said to be getting socks with real diamonds."

Um, I try to spend the better part of my day keeping sharp rocks away from my feet. Mariah=Bat-shyt Insane
 
2004-12-25 10:43:02 AM
Aww, I feel so sowwy for the poor rich woman. What an earth shaking tragedy for a young child. I bet she's still in therapy for that.
 
2004-12-25 10:47:38 AM
shiat, I wish I could get $500 an hour to listen to some rich lady's sob story about how she found out who Santa was a few years before she thought she should've.
 
2004-12-25 10:48:56 AM
But then again, if I did get payed $500 an hour to listen to Halle Berre biatch, there'd be a rash of submissions to fark:

Stephen Sebastian, AKA Farker 'Magic', arrested for coercing Halle Berry into having sex during therapy sessions.
 
PTK
2004-12-25 11:27:31 AM
Magic:
Stephen Sebastian, AKA Farker 'Magic', arrested for coercing Halle Berry into having sex during therapy sessions.

Somehow I just don't see that happening. :p
 
2004-12-25 11:46:20 AM
'twas a poor joke, I admit.

It'd more likely be:

"TFer Magic arrested for masturbating during therapy sessions with Halle Berry"
 
2004-12-25 12:30:47 PM
"Farker arrested for giving himself happy ending during fake therapy session with Halle Berry. Says he would have hit it, but noted that knees were a tad bit sharper than he preferred"
 
2004-12-25 12:31:33 PM
Kinda puts her Oscar "This moment is so much bigger than me" Speech into perspective.
 
2004-12-25 12:45:43 PM
EchoWorm:

Her new Mariah Kiss Kiss hosiery is decorated with diamantes. Her closest pals are said to be getting socks with real diamonds."

WTF? Isn't diamantes just spanish for diamonds?
 
2004-12-25 12:55:46 PM
Who cares. It happens to every Christian.
 
2004-12-25 01:00:07 PM
When kids find out that adults have been lying to them about santa, it's a good time to tell them about the jesus fibs, too.
 
2004-12-25 01:01:05 PM
Well she still has religion, so she's 50/50 on imaginary friends.
 
2004-12-25 01:01:33 PM
I once caught mommy kissing Santa Claus...

Well, it was either Santa Claus or Burl Ives wearing red long underwear.
 
2004-12-25 01:01:58 PM
Average Person: "The day I saw Halle Berry in Catwoman was one of the most horrific days of my life. I'll never forgive her for it. I had at least three more good years of movie news that I could have believed it could have been good, had she not been so careless"
 
2004-12-25 01:02:07 PM
Further down:

Rita Wilson says she and husband Tom Hanks dress up "all his Oscars in doll clothes like Santa Claus."

So this is how the "other half" live?

/hater
 
2004-12-25 01:04:12 PM
Hehe. first thing that came to mind:
Gingerbread Kama Sutra
NSFW cookies
 
2004-12-25 01:04:43 PM
She's a rich biatch, and she don't try to hide it: diamonds on the soles of her socks...

/ta-na-na, ta-na-na-na
 
2004-12-25 01:04:56 PM
Poor baby...I'm sure she can take solace in her multi-million dollar bank accounts...
 
2004-12-25 01:05:03 PM
"I didn't have Christmas when I was growing up, because my family was Jehovah's Witness," says Ja Rule.

Oh man, that shiat's funny...
 
2004-12-25 01:05:18 PM
God, I hate that woman.
 
2004-12-25 01:08:49 PM
after catwoman, I can't look at her the same way again.
 
2004-12-25 01:09:35 PM
What's a "diamante"?
Is it like those "diamel" fake diamond things that I remember seeing commercials for in the early 80s?
 
2004-12-25 01:10:15 PM
Filing this one in the "Who gives a fark" file
 
2004-12-25 01:10:56 PM
Rita Wilson says she and husband Tom Hanks dress up "all his Oscars in doll clothes like Santa Claus."

Santa Claus dressed up in doll clothes ??
Must be some pretty big dolls...

/off to decorate the tree with ganja
 
2004-12-25 01:12:19 PM
I'm with you safeinsane.

Stupid hit-and-run whore got off easy with parole, an inconvenience... do you think if any guy here smashed into somebody and took off, we would get off without jail time?
 
2004-12-25 01:13:23 PM
So she found out at 17 instead of 20. Big deal
 
2004-12-25 01:14:03 PM
I'd eat Halle Berry's cookie.
/obvious
 
2004-12-25 01:15:07 PM
"I didn't have Christmas when I was growing up, because my family was Jehovah's Witness," says Ja Rule. "So now I do it up." His holiday tradition includes hanging ganja on his tree: "Weed's the perfect ornament. You can have such a good time on Christmas, you know? Have a smoke or two while you open your gifts. That's a merry Christmas!"

/surpised no one said anything
 
2004-12-25 01:15:22 PM
Is that why you grew up to be an attention whore?
 
2004-12-25 01:16:29 PM
warpdragon- That's because it's self-explanatory.
 
2004-12-25 01:18:05 PM
Uh, guys...I think that the quote was meant more as a humorous anecdote than a "woe is me" type of deal.

/doesn't really give a damn about halle either way
//would hit it and forget it
 
Ral
2004-12-25 01:19:38 PM
My mom says I never believed in Santa. Apparently, when I was little, she was trying to explain to me the idea of this big fat guy with a reindeer-drawn, flying sleigh that came into our house ever year and deposited presents under the tree.

I just looked at her with an expression that said, "Tell me another one." It didn't ruin Christmas for me. I just knew the presents were from my mom and dad. They were good at hiding them in the house in the weeks prior. :)
 
2004-12-25 01:20:16 PM
He should get together with Roger Daltrey. The Who singer says, "I'll just probably be getting plastered this year. I've got some good friends coming up [to his house]. But I don't really like Christmas, to be honest. ... I just don't like the commerciality of it. I hate it."

Way to go Rog. I thought he got plastered everyday and stayed sober on Christmas.
 
2004-12-25 01:23:07 PM
When i was real young my grandma was babysitting for my sister and I. I was 5 and my sister was 7 and our grandmother said "You kids are too old to believe in Santa right?"
 
2004-12-25 01:23:46 PM
Santa!? I suppose you're going to tell me that the Easter Bunny isn't real either!
 
2004-12-25 01:26:13 PM
culbeda

And there's no tooth fairy...

*cries*
 
2004-12-25 01:26:22 PM
I dunno... I've got sort of a different perspective on the Santa thing. Back when I was a wee lad, I had the chance to ride on the Santa float in the local Thanksgiving parade. That's not that important, the important thing being I had tied an onion to my belt, which was the fashion at the time, and Santa had a habit of stopping by early on Christmas Eve. My parents were both there, what I'm really saying is, even though the man who played santa has died, the whole santa thing means something entirely different to me, because of some guy who everyone identified as he.
 
2004-12-25 01:29:03 PM
If you teach a child to believe in Santa Claus, then sooner or later comes the day of reckoning, when the kid discovers that the world is full of people who will look him straight in the eye and tell him bald-faced lies. Which is a very valuable lesson.

This is my first-ever Fark posting, after years and years of lurking. Hello, everybody!
 
2004-12-25 01:29:39 PM
Leonhart

Uh, guys...I think that the quote was meant more as a humorous anecdote than a "woe is me" type of deal.

Its the "Never let her forget it" and calling it horrific day that make it a "woe is me" thing. My Moms slip up (saving coupons off the back of packages from Santa gifts) is how I discovered Santa's fakeness too but I don't think I've ever even mentioned it to her, much less tried to make her feel bad about it.

If the most horrific thing thats ever happened to you is discovering that Santa isn't real you need to bow down and kiss your Mom's butt for looking out for you your whole life like that Halle, not make her feel bad about that incident.
 
2004-12-25 01:30:39 PM
calling the whaaaaaaaaambulance

/for how many people did she destroy the memory of Catwoman?
 
2004-12-25 01:33:27 PM
I don't recall an exact moment of discovering this dirty little secret, it wasn't a huge shock. You just over time put it all together.
 
2004-12-25 01:33:53 PM
Somebody post the picture of her pre-nose-job. It cracks me up every time.

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/000903.html
 
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