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(NORAD Santa)   NORAD is already tracking Santa, you pacific rim Farkers better get to bed soon   (noradsanta.org) divider line 173
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17844 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2004 at 9:37 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-24 09:40:41 AM
As soon as I leave Santa a vinegar drink and egg roll.
 
2004-12-24 09:44:08 AM
You better watch out. You better not...oh fark it. Santa's got some sweaty balls.
 
2004-12-24 09:45:27 AM
I predict complaints about using Real player.
 
2004-12-24 09:45:45 AM
What a waste of government money.
 
2004-12-24 09:46:01 AM
But Santa was here last night and now it's time to take the tree down.
 
2004-12-24 09:46:37 AM
Heh, norad is likely to shoot it down as a terrorist attack...
 
905
2004-12-24 09:46:42 AM
Just as long as they keep Matthew Broderick off of his computer, Santa shouldn't have any problems...
 
2004-12-24 09:46:50 AM
The Department of Homeland Security has just raised the security threat to level Orange.
 
2004-12-24 09:48:09 AM
Shoot the farker down! We haven't spent a bazillion dollars for nothing! We can't knock down and incoming warhead..we should be able to take out a jolly elf in a red suit and some flyin'freakin'deer.
 
2004-12-24 09:48:16 AM
Santa sold my game system on e-bay...
 
2004-12-24 09:48:51 AM
He better have some hookers and blow in that bag for me.
 
2004-12-24 09:48:53 AM
He shouldn't have any problems as long as he empties the change from his pocket and removes his shoes before flying over the border. Oh, and he doesn't have to worry about being searched between his man-boobies now as well.
 
2004-12-24 09:48:59 AM
Yea, but it's only a candy orange
 
2004-12-24 09:49:42 AM
The last couple of weeks our local town newspaper has run a public notice that city council has granted a temporary license for non-profit deliveries to S. Claus of 1 North Pole Way.
 
2004-12-24 09:50:47 AM
Is this government money being spent to have a federal agency track a fictional character (who represents all that is wrong with Christmas) in an attempt to further irrevocably intertwine church and state?

Just wondering.
 
2004-12-24 09:51:18 AM
Rudolph's nose gives off an infrared signature similar to a missile launch.

Heheh. I giggled.
 
2004-12-24 09:52:03 AM
FarkingReading:

Is this government money being spent to have a federal agency track a fictional character (who represents all that is wrong with Christmas) in an attempt to further irrevocably intertwine church and state?

Okay there, Grinchy McScrooge.
 
2004-12-24 09:52:11 AM
I saw him . he beat me and said ho ho ho biatch and gave me my futurama season 3 and a watch.

/merry christmas or happy jihad day to all.
 
2004-12-24 09:52:48 AM
Santa looks like some bad animation? Who knew...
 
2004-12-24 09:53:57 AM
mediaho

No problem. Just tell me where Whoville is and I'll be on my way.
 
2004-12-24 09:55:12 AM
dsmo Your a Mean One, Mister Grinch.
 
2004-12-24 09:56:13 AM
Holy Crap. "You're"

/slinks off to make coffee...
 
2004-12-24 09:56:48 AM




 
2004-12-24 09:57:15 AM
FarkingReading:

Is this government money being spent to have a federal agency track a fictional character (who represents all that is wrong with Christmas) in an attempt to further irrevocably intertwine church and state?


Actually Santa represents all that is right about Christmas, it's that other long haired freak-in-a-robe that ruins the holiday.

/flame on!
 
2004-12-24 10:01:11 AM
quietbs

Nice one.
 
2004-12-24 10:01:19 AM
Does Santa have a son? And if so would Santa's son deliver sex tonight? Cause that would just be terrrrifffic.

If not, santa could you drop one of the following off at my house:

1) Clive Owen
2) Angelina Jolie
3) 1 and 2 as a combo of hawtness

If not, I don't believe in you anymore and jebus told me to tell you, he hates you.
 
2004-12-24 10:02:35 AM
If there are any little boys and girls reading this thread, I have news for you!

SANTA IS NOT REAL!!! YOUR PARENTS ARE LYING TO YOU!!!

Not get the hell off fark before I call your damn lying parents!
 
2004-12-24 10:03:09 AM
Repeat! This was on Fark 366 days ago.

/Merry Christmas you Farkers/ettes 8)
 
2004-12-24 10:03:31 AM
4) video camera
5) Direct internet feed
 
2004-12-24 10:04:51 AM
On behalf of everyone who works in retail at this time of year, may I just say...


THANK FARK THAT'S OVER!
 
2004-12-24 10:08:25 AM
The story of how this started goes something like this:

a long time ago a television show had a call in for little kids to talk to santa... The phone number was one number off from the phone number at NORAD. Just to be nice to the little kids the employees humoured the little ones and told them that they are tracking santa right now on radar and they should go to bed soon. The place was flooded with calls of little kids, so the employees decided to make it a tradition.

So in a way, this is a really nice Christmas story.
 
2004-12-24 10:10:25 AM
They're getting a pacific rim job from Santa.
 
2004-12-24 10:11:04 AM
next weeks headline...

ACLU sues NORAD.

Norad reponds by grounding ACLS G5's.
 
2004-12-24 10:11:06 AM
Christmas is cancelled. What? How dare you disagree with me? Dont you know who I am?? My goons are arriving at your door as you read this.

 
2004-12-24 10:13:59 AM
DETOUR

scariest.christmas.picture.evAR.
 
2004-12-24 10:18:38 AM
REAL PLAYER! dammit all to hell.. Last year it was media player and easier,
 
2004-12-24 10:20:36 AM
For those who hate RealPlayer

http://www.free-codecs.com/download/Real_Alternative.htm
 
2004-12-24 10:20:37 AM
Good time to test our ballistic Santa shield in Alaska.
 
2004-12-24 10:20:47 AM
"Is that true, Clark?"
 
2004-12-24 10:24:16 AM
RodimusPrime

Dude, January sales...
 
2004-12-24 10:26:34 AM
dsmo: What a waste of government money



My god..just shut your mouth. Of all the useless crap my government spends money on, a small website that makes my children smile seems like a damn good deal.

Farking grinch.


- T
 
2004-12-24 10:27:10 AM
What a waste of government money.

Actually, I would suggest this is the only useful thing NORAD has ever come up with.

Other than this, it's just been a couple of false alarms that turned out to be flocks of geese unwittingly nearly wiping out civilisation as we know it.
 
2004-12-24 10:28:15 AM


The Baileys has kicked in...


and no...even if I were sober this picture would still be horrid.

leet gimp skillz ya!
 
2004-12-24 10:32:37 AM
Merry Christmas to all, may Santa visit you with all his lil' Ho ho hoes.... Now its back to PSD.

\at work, that's what happens when you work for Jewish people....
 
2004-12-24 10:33:26 AM
RodimusPrime

On behalf of everyone who works in retail at this time of year, may I just say...


THANK FARK THAT'S OVER!


Not quite. Still have to deal with returns.
 
2004-12-24 10:33:36 AM
/stabs thread in throat one last time for good measure
 
2004-12-24 10:34:10 AM
"What a waste of government money."

There's a big party going on over in the east I'd consider a greater waste of money, but that's just me. And all these graphics look the same as they were using for the past couple years. I doubt this website is costing 150 billion dollars. Won't anyone think of the children?
 
2004-12-24 10:36:03 AM
Heh,

I grew up on SAC Bases during the Vietnam War. They used to do this on the radio each year. I remember as a kid waiting anxiously for the updates. At one base we lived at they had an ICBM missile display. Each year they would dress them in Santa beards and hats for the holidays.
 
2004-12-24 10:36:42 AM
rhiannon

Michael Jackson will.
 
2004-12-24 10:37:16 AM
The only way to get through Santa's defensive shields is to wait until he is hovering over a major metropolitan area, and preparing to fire his destruco beam, then you send a high-performance aircraft straight up at the opening and launch the nuclear air-to-air missiles into the heart of his ship. I thought we had figured this out already.
 
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