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(Pravda)   Meteor showers to devastate planet Earth   (english.pravda.ru ) divider line
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16540 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2004 at 8:01 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-23 04:20:49 PM  
As a rule, meteorites do not fall down on inhabited localities. They prefer to hit seas, lakes, fields and even the Antarctic.

Well, that's... very considerate of them, I suppose.


Someone in deep black space deliberately bombards the Earth with meteorites

Uh-oh...

[image from images.google.com too old to be available]
 
2004-12-23 04:24:04 PM  
"As a rule, meteorites do not fall down on inhabited localities. They prefer to hit seas, lakes, fields and even the Antarctic."

Prefer? EVEN the Antarctic? Oh come on, it's unpossible for meteors to hit either of the poles.
 
2004-12-23 07:19:39 PM  
Can't say I didn't see this coming.
 
2004-12-23 08:05:10 PM  
um, PRAVDA is supposed to be a real news service, right? no wonder they lost the Cold War
 
2004-12-23 08:05:15 PM  
IT'S OKAY PEOPLE! This doesn't affect Americans in any way. Back to the snow thread.

Silly Indonesians.
 
2004-12-23 08:05:19 PM  
Boobies... oh damn.
 
2004-12-23 08:05:32 PM  
I'm glad they cleared that up.
 
2004-12-23 08:05:33 PM  
Meteor showers to devastate planet Earth

This is why I prefer baths...
 
2004-12-23 08:06:57 PM  
samimgreen: Meteor showers to devastate planet Earth

This is why I prefer baths...



Thank you. This made my day.
 
2004-12-23 08:07:20 PM  
If that's the case, then there is no way I am finishing this essay. FARK THAT.
 
2004-12-23 08:07:49 PM  
Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshiats.

/Learn to swim
 
2004-12-23 08:08:20 PM  
[image from allhatnocattle.net too old to be available]
 
2004-12-23 08:08:33 PM  
samimgreen, you prefer baths because you like stewing in your own filth.
 
2004-12-23 08:08:37 PM  
Someone in deep black space deliberately bombards the Earth with meteorites

Damn that Sephiroth!
 
2004-12-23 08:08:46 PM  
I for one welcome the NAMBLA tag. Or whatever the fark that is.
 
2004-12-23 08:09:18 PM  
Yay, jesus is coming back to kill all the sinners
 
2004-12-23 08:10:50 PM  
Yeah for Pravda and nekkid Olympic chicks!

Meteors? What?
 
2004-12-23 08:10:51 PM  
Eh, I don't trust this "Npabaa".

/I know.
 
2004-12-23 08:11:38 PM  
one may say that it was not a "timely" meteorite at all

no better time than the present

/merry farking xmas
 
2004-12-23 08:12:37 PM  
Meteor showers to devastate planet Earth

Oh thank God. Finally. Now my pain and suffering can come to an end.
 
2004-12-23 08:13:41 PM  
Someone in deep black space deliberately bombards the Earth with meteorites


Did that just get thrown in? Like added later? It wasn't relevant to the article at all, unless I missed something.
 
2004-12-23 08:14:53 PM  
Meteor showers to devastate planet earth....... AGAIN?

-seriously, HOW many "OH NOES SPACE ROCK" warnings have we gotten before?
 
2004-12-23 08:15:14 PM  
Well, if Pravda said it, it MUST be true! Except not. They have wackier theories than Skip Bayless.
 
2004-12-23 08:15:58 PM  
xlbrooklyn:

Not a bad way to go, with a chunk of flaming space metal right to the noggin.
 
2004-12-23 08:16:44 PM  
unidentified flying object, which was falling down on the ground at a very high speed.

...uh... yeah Last time I was flying high, I ended up falling down on the ground, but at a much lower speed.

Thank goodness!
 
2004-12-23 08:16:50 PM  
WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!

nah just kiddin'
 
2004-12-23 08:17:45 PM  
-seriously, HOW many "OH NOES SPACE ROCK" warnings have we gotten before?

Hey. It's a very important issue. There can never be enough warnings. I sure as hell don't want to sit through more of David Bowie's space rock.

/Up yer arse Major Tom
 
2004-12-23 08:20:19 PM  
Gosling:

Wouldn't it be great if a flaming hunk of space debris hit Skip Bayless on the head at great velocity? Or a brick? Or a big gob of spit?
 
2004-12-23 08:22:12 PM  
This is supposed to be a real news organization? Suddenly network news doesnt look so bad here.
 
2004-12-23 08:23:00 PM  
[image from icybrian.com too old to be available]
 
2004-12-23 08:24:47 PM  
eugenics

um, PRAVDA is supposed to be a real news service, right? no wonder they lost the Cold War


The site's full of joke articles. Case in point: the one about the "russian time machine". And hey, Russia did some crazy cool stuff given what they had during the Cold War.
 
2004-12-23 08:25:07 PM  
iwasrobot

Who knows, maybe Tellah went nuts too.

/insert Final Fantasy reference to Meteo, "Meteor," etc here.

I vaguely remember one of those Zelda games having to do with a meteor crashing into Hyrule or something to.
 
2004-12-23 08:25:54 PM  
Pravda is Russia's answer to the Daily Show.
 
2004-12-23 08:27:51 PM  
For the burning legion.
 
2004-12-23 08:28:15 PM  
I wonder when the big news sources will pick up this juicy piece of satire
 
2004-12-23 08:28:19 PM  
All Hail Zoltan
 
2004-12-23 08:28:19 PM  
curse that nefarious sephie!
 
2004-12-23 08:29:01 PM  
The Apollo project had some shadow programs including one that investigated kinetic weapons.

The idea was to capture space rocks and park them in orbit, to be pushed into targets on earth at a time selected.

I wonder what ever happened to such creative thinking?
 
2004-12-23 08:29:27 PM  
[image from msgr.ca too old to be available]

Another Festivus MIRACLE!
 
2004-12-23 08:35:54 PM  
I also liked Pravda's hair loss article that told people to rub coffee grinds into their hair. They claimed that caffeine would prevent baldness. I can only imagine how many people are actually doing that out of desperation :D
 
2004-12-23 08:37:44 PM  
I'm sorry, but I don't think Pravda's trying to be a satire site. If they were, the articles would be littered with jokes. Look at a standard piece from The Daily Show or The Onion. Jokes all over the place. Pravda? No jokes that are obviously intentional.
 
2004-12-23 08:38:24 PM  
sirak

same people who are getting into bomb shelters now.
 
2004-12-23 08:38:34 PM  
sirak
I also liked Pravda's hair loss article that told people to rub coffee grinds into their hair.

You mean I've been scalding my scalp for nothing?
 
2004-12-23 08:38:50 PM  
I vaguely remember one of those Zelda games having to do with a meteor crashing into Hyrule or something to.

majora's mask? that was the moon- but close enough.

/didn't play that one much either.
 
2004-12-23 08:40:10 PM  
Haha, Dorf11.

BogeyB, I can see it now. People are rubbing coffee grinds into their scalp as they high-tail it into a bomb shelter.
 
2004-12-23 08:43:01 PM  
Meshman

Sorry pal, you're just wrong on that. Meteors can hit any part of the earth. There are no rules that meteors, even the polite ones, come from the path of the ecliptic.
 
2004-12-23 08:48:09 PM  
One of the pieces flew into a kitchen window and burnt a plastic container there.

Interestingly, most meteorites are probably quite cold when they strike the earth. Before the meteor enters our atmosphere, it would be at the temperature of space, around 3 Kelvin. The very brief passage through our atmosphere heats up only a very thin outer layer, which is ablated away. Observations of newly fallen meteorites are rare; some have been reported as being warm, but more commonly they are said to be cold and covered with frost.
 
2004-12-23 08:51:50 PM  
Finally the apocalypse my old Baptist youth minister promised.
 
2004-12-23 08:56:44 PM  
That's right... meteors are coming to destroy the earth, so get down in the bomb shelter Butters.

/3 more days to Casa Bonita!
 
2004-12-23 08:57:02 PM  
[image from english.pravda.ru too old to be available]


/somehow I think there would be a bit more of a buzz around the world if this was a satellite image rather than an indonesian artists rendition....
 
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