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(WLWT)   Beginning December 23, female airline passengers will be allowed to hide weapons between their boobs   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
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19328 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2004 at 2:52 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

95 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-12-22 11:52:30 PM  
So now the terrorists can hide 2lbs of plastic in there... nothing could go wrong with this decision.
2004-12-22 11:53:10 PM  
2lbs of plastic explosives that is... not plastic surgery.

2004-12-22 11:56:19 PM  
The next terrorist attack will be carried out by some of those older gospel singer types that haven't seen their feet in 30 years. You know what I'm talking about....yeah, some straight up maids from Billy Madison...what the hell am I typing. Freaking NyQuil (the medicine, not the llama TFer)
2004-12-22 11:59:39 PM  
I wonder if they let Chelsea Charms (NSFW GIS) fly now? 20 lbs would get lost in there.
2004-12-23 12:09:17 AM  
I'd put a gun in my hoo-ha's and it'd get lost.

Sad - but true.
2004-12-23 12:26:43 AM  
Just get some boob-sniffing dogs to replace the manual checks?
2004-12-23 01:18:17 AM  
yes but will i still have to duck walk naked through national airport?
2004-12-23 01:28:01 AM  
Thank you for flying Completely Safe-Air today Mr. Johnson. Now, in preparation for our departure, will you please step into the changing room and put on this FAA approved air-travel suit. Place all your clothes in the provided bag and they will be returned to you once you reach your arrival changing room. Have a nice flight Mr. Johnson.

/this would work..
2004-12-23 01:40:39 AM  
lets just hope the terrorists dont take a page from the drug traffickers handbook.
2004-12-23 02:23:38 AM  
My Girlfriend could hide a....

toothpick there.

/I love you baby!
2004-12-23 02:58:17 AM  
ripping up airport security screener application
2004-12-23 02:58:23 AM  
In other news...

The rush after careers in airport security seems to have slowed...
2004-12-23 02:58:25 AM  
Look out! She's packing bazookas!
/absolutley, positively nothing
2004-12-23 03:01:02 AM  
So anyone else think that this picture:
[image from too old to be available] is a little disturbing considering the context of the story? Looks like the darn plane is crashing on all those cars...
2004-12-23 03:01:23 AM  
I'm submitting my resignation. Oh well... there's always that breast cancer inspector's position.

Chelsea Charms needs to do something about those large breasts. They make me sick. It's an abomination I tell you.
2004-12-23 03:04:26 AM  
If there is one straight guy working at the airport, then there is no way any a women could conceal anything around their boobs with out it be detected, described, and fantisized about.

But they might not be able to tell you the color of her eyes.
2004-12-23 03:04:56 AM  
Damn! I knew I shouldn't have had that breast reduction surgery!
2004-12-23 03:05:24 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-23 03:10:52 AM  

I wonder if they let Chelsea Charms (NSFW GIS) fly now? 20 lbs would get lost in there.

JESUS CHRIST!!! How does that woman walk? Can she stand up without falling over? I foresee major back problems in her future.

If they let her on a plane, I think she may have to share the burden of fat people and pay for an extra seat for her boobies.

/totally turned off by such disproportion.
2004-12-23 03:20:03 AM  
and to payback fark for the invite i got last month....
2004-12-23 03:32:19 AM  
2004-12-23 03:20:03 AM b403

muchos gracias!
2004-12-23 03:34:50 AM  
Great. What could possibly go wrong?

Why is it only women get a break? Will there be anything about not touching the junk? Sexism sucks. Sucks more when its dangerous.

/I cant believe I just typed that.
2004-12-23 03:43:46 AM  
I don't get it. When it's about going topless in the street, they keep saying it's the same as a man. What gives?
2004-12-23 03:54:11 AM  
Screeners are to pat down the perimeter of the chest, backsides and abdomen of women unless detection equipment picks up the possibility that they're hiding explosives.

Why are they allowed to touch at all? I mean, metal detectors and explosive sniffers should be enough. What (legitimate) reason do they have to actually touch the passengers?
2004-12-23 03:55:28 AM  
to find stuff that isn't metal (eg c4)
2004-12-23 03:59:54 AM  
did the submitter say boobs, what are those?
....ooohhhh boobies, I get it
//too much time on fark
///working graveyard shift sucks
////hooray for boobs
2004-12-23 04:09:44 AM  
My girlfriends boobs are too small to hide anything between them anyway
2004-12-23 04:45:10 AM  
Follow the bouncing Logic:

If the sensors are good enough to spot a bomb under someones shirt, this practice is not needed. If they're not good enough to spot it there, then they aren't good enough to spot a bomb lodged up inside a terrorists body cavities. Since the bomber is going to die anyway they have no reason not to do that. Thus, since there is a place they can hide a bomb that no inspection short of a full body cavity search can find, and we dont do cavity searches, prodding a womans breasts at the airport is as useless as it is invasive.


Question: Did the bombers that got onto the planes in Russia have to get past modern bomb detection equipment? If so, was it up to snuff/better/equal to what we use?
2004-12-23 04:47:33 AM  
So what is being done about searching for C4 tampons? Ya never hear anything about THAT! Any dog will "do the boop" given an opportunity, even an explosives sniffer. Just have the passenger carry a lambtail in her pocket. (She could tell them she just came from a mulesing.)
I have this image of a bunch of female terrorists living together until they sync. Then they all go on a trip during menses. They line up for inspection and make it clear they are all traveling together. They have all "seeded" their clothes with a smell the dogs alert to. After five or six thorough searches in a row the inspectors will be ready to gag at the sight of another string, so they will ignore the alerts when the rest of the women go through the line. Have a couple of the later ones carry the contraband.
2004-12-23 04:47:35 AM  
they aren't changing much. Security is allowed to check between breasts with the back of their hand if they feel a need to. This isn't going to change a thing they'll just say they felt a need to check and do it anyway.
2004-12-23 05:10:06 AM  
actually, they search *between* the boobs and not the boobsa themesleeves


//didn;'t rfta


2004-12-23 05:15:08 AM  
Booby traps?
2004-12-23 06:06:28 AM  
Why is it only women get a break?

Behold the power of nag!
2004-12-23 06:16:58 AM  
I wrote a complaint letter to the TSA, United Airlines, and Alaska Airlines about this bullsheet. This woman 'patted' my tits, around them and between them roughly enough to make them bounce... and in front of at least 30 strangers. I stepped away from her and asked her what her problem was and she offered me a private screening. I offered her a meeting with her manager and a police officer and a possible assault claim. She declined and the guy patting down the male being screened said i was fine let me go through. They don't spread the asscheeks or cup the junk of men who go through... why paw at my breasts infront of a bunch of strangers? sure pat down my sides and poke to be sure that underwire is really a bra fixture.. but dont go joggling around my breats in public. Fark the TSA.
2004-12-23 06:27:56 AM  
Behold the power of bag!
2004-12-23 06:36:10 AM  

Ohh, I didn't know you wrote such spanking erotica.. Bouncing, ohh bouncing. Please carry on and let my tube spanking kill that cloned kitten from the other thread.
2004-12-23 06:36:34 AM  
awesome. I have lots of room for weapons of mass destruction (seduction)!

/lacks good b00bies

...ANY DAY NOW...they will gr0w
2004-12-23 06:58:09 AM  
They can hide my weapon in there starting....

..oh forget it, you get the idea.
2004-12-23 07:07:58 AM  
This makes me somewhat less anxious regarding my trip to the US in a few months. Somewhat.
2004-12-23 07:49:26 AM  
Does this also apply to manboobs?
2004-12-23 08:18:21 AM  
Nader hee ehhehe... sicko you rule.

Kristopher, okay here ya go, imagine some square-butted uniformed semi-mulleted glorified grocery bagger of a female TSA employee... most likely with some sort of held-over-from-middle-school insecurity issue that gives her a rush from her position to exercise her whim on others who are reluctant to question her (especially when they are far more attractive than her... damn those cheerleaders) or get hauled off to some little office to explain yourself while your flight takes off without you. Imagine her pudgey ruddy hands clumbsily 'karate chopping' around my nice big possibly-concealing-an-illegal-alien breasts... btw I don't like cats so get those kittens before they become cats!
2004-12-23 08:28:03 AM  
surrenderyoursushi, could you repeat that again? I heard something about 'nice big breasts', but the rest of it was sorta blurred, like when Charlie Brown's teacher is talking.
2004-12-23 08:32:45 AM  
Sorry Love, i lied. they are not breasts... they are actually tupperware containers of napalm.
2004-12-23 08:43:25 AM  
victoryismine, damn - how did you get your insurance to 10k a year! You accidently enter a old person's race over at a Farmer's Market convention or something???

p.s. They look fine to me, but I may have to do a in person check to make sure.
2004-12-23 08:56:23 AM  
I for one am happy to hear that I will no longer have to worry about being groped when I go to the airport. I always thought that was a little over the top. Stupid security people enjoyed groping women because they couldn't get any anywhere else!
2004-12-23 09:12:45 AM  
Sorry Love, i lied. they are not breasts... they are actually tupperware containers of napalm.

I LOVE the smell of napalm in the morning! Smells like... victory.
2004-12-23 09:16:39 AM  
So, all those ass fisters the NTSB hired from swingers clubs won't be needed now.
2004-12-23 10:00:40 AM  
Roughly 2 million passengers a week are patted down.

Am I the only one who initially read this as, "2 million passengers a week are roughly patted down"?

I need more coffee.
2004-12-23 10:10:56 AM  
I kinda liked it when they did that.
2004-12-23 10:23:57 AM  
"Machine-gun jubblies!"
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