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(AP)   Scientists discover previously unknown species of "monster" cockroach. Immediately call for environmental protections to ensure the safety of the insects   (apnews.myway.com) divider line 108
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19900 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2004 at 7:15 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-22 10:50:02 PM
Jesus H. farkin' Christ I hate cockroaches. Kill the lot of them!

Seriously, what do roaches contribute to the environment?
 
2004-12-22 10:54:35 PM
Until I read the article, I was sure they wer in New Orleans. Seriously though, what kind of environmental degrdation has to happen to kill roaches?
 
2004-12-22 11:03:43 PM
Roaches do a lot, Magic. They pick up tons of crumbs and essentially comb over the floor of forests. While disgusting to find in civilized parts, they really do have a place in the ecosystem and a purpose. Mosquitos, on the other hand....
 
2004-12-22 11:05:32 PM
I wasn't being sarcastic, I honestly didn't know.

Can't we just jeneticallumly engineer...uhm...mice or something? to do that?

Because mice are cute, and they run when they see you. Unlike roaches. Roaches are fugly and they get in your goddamned shoes.
 
2004-12-22 11:53:21 PM
little birdies eat mosquitoes.

/i still say fark 'em
 
2004-12-23 01:15:32 AM
useless thread w/o pics.
 
2004-12-23 07:22:13 AM
Hey put a roach in a clear plastic jar set it on the floor and watch the dogs go nut's. Other than that kill em all
 
2004-12-23 07:23:14 AM
Magic:
THe problem is, im betting that to engeer somthing thtdoes a cockroaches job, you wind up with a cockroach. 2 bazjillion years of evoloution cant be too far off.
 
2004-12-23 07:24:52 AM
we don't need no stinkin' cockroaches...
 
2004-12-23 07:27:20 AM
had a friend, she was drinking pepsi and said this pepsi tastes cockroaches..I said how you know..you never has tasted them before..When she drank up, it showed that a cocroaches was inside the jar..so disgusting..........
 
2004-12-23 07:28:02 AM
Yeah, more mice. More disease carrying mice. Good luck with bubonic plague.
So that's a dozen new species. We can now feel less guilty for killing off those 50 last week.
 
2004-12-23 07:28:28 AM



/Joe's apartment
//Men in Black
///Meh..
 
2004-12-23 07:30:54 AM
Wel shoot, I dun came to the rite thred fer funy talkin!
 
2004-12-23 07:38:10 AM
"Every day 100 species go extinct. WE didn't kill them"

Let nature take its course, pricks. WIth roaches, lets give em a helping hand. They have no important place in the ecosystem. They're vermin, pure and simple. I say we annihilate them with every means at our disposal. In fact, I'm starting a petition for God to kill roaches instead of kittens from now on. Let's get aggressive

/No Mercy
//finally, something on Fark that I can hate and no one will defend
 
2004-12-23 07:41:22 AM
While I am no one's idea of an environmentalist, I would have to think, at this point, that people ask for protection of new/weird/skanky species as sort of a "throw anything against the wall and see what sticks" kind of thing.

Kind of like negotiating by opening up with something you know you won't get. Given the degree of flak preservationists get (justified or not,) I can't blame 'em.

/Kim Jong Il unavailable for comment
 
2004-12-23 07:46:27 AM
I for one welcome yada yada you know the rest.
 
2004-12-23 07:47:59 AM
"If something is not done soon to protect these areas, dozens of species could disappear before anyone knew they ever existed."

We got along just fine without knowing about em. Let em die.
 
2004-12-23 07:48:33 AM
monster roaches? just break 'em up, roll 'em together, and smoke 'em!

this has been midgettossa's pest control tip of the day
 
2004-12-23 07:57:04 AM
IS IT ON ME??!! BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE ITS ON ME!!!!!
 
2004-12-23 08:07:05 AM
2004-12-23 07:38:10 AM Kempnerius:
//finally, something on Fark that I can hate and no one will defend

2004-12-22 11:03:43 PM stevarooni:
Roaches do a lot, Magic. They pick up tons of crumbs and essentially comb over the floor of forests.
 
2004-12-23 08:15:34 AM
mmmmbabies: We got along just fine without knowing about em. Let em die.

Scientists are always trying to find out more about nature. Letting newly discovered species die won't help a lot. Who knows? Giant cockroaches might taste very good with soy sauce.
 
2004-12-23 08:20:57 AM
This article begs for a photoshop.

Oh, and without roaches, we would be up to our knees in carrion. Now...if you could engineer flying, roach-eating, savage little lizards, you could get a head start on the roach infestation problem.
 
2004-12-23 08:26:29 AM
I'm surprised they weren't found in Margaret Morrison Hall on CMU's campus. That's where the "They're Creeping Up On You" segment of Creepshow was filmed. There are STILL giant cockroaches all over that building.
 
2004-12-23 08:33:29 AM
curse you, llmarinen!!!
 
2004-12-23 08:33:42 AM


looks like there's a female in there too



they're bound to breed. !! INFESTATION !! ALERT !!

 
2004-12-23 08:34:23 AM
I used to work in a restaurant at a mall in Houston. At night when taking trash out to the community dumpster you would see a "wall o' roaches" - the wall they had to block the dumpster from view of the parking lot would be completely covered with a writhing mass of 3 inch long cockroaches. It was kinda cool and creepy at the same time.

/I once spent an evening chasing one of these around my living room. fast motherfarkers.
 
2004-12-23 08:38:17 AM
THIS MONSTER COCKROACH WILL DEVOUR US ALL!
 
2004-12-23 08:39:27 AM
"If something is not done soon to protect these areas, dozens of species could disappear before anyone knew they ever existed."

Isn't that like, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there does it make a sound?

/Ducks as libs toss red paint in my general direction
 
2004-12-23 08:40:35 AM
"Roaches do a lot, Magic. They pick up tons of crumbs and essentially comb over the floor of forests."

Dude.. I'll pick up crumbs and comb whatever you want, just PLEASE smash those bastiches! Better yet, give me your address, and I'll send you my roaches too. The species ain't safe over here.

Of course these are big ol' Florida roaches, so shipping might get pricey, but hey, it's worth it right? More crumb carryin' and combing for you!

This article sucks. why wouldn't they say something like "Two foot cockroach"? Why wouldn't there be images. I say those dumbasses misreported it, and they've got some 3-inch hissing cockroaches that we already know about, but some noob explorer goes "yippee! I dub thee 'Monster Roach' "

Or it kinda' grew in the retelling:

Reporter: "Where IS this cave"
Noob Explorer: "dude.. I dunno'.. This monster roach fell on me.. it freaked me out and I hauled ass!"

or

"Dude.. we were smokin' this awesome monster roach and we're like wow.. this is a cave man. Prolly some new kinda' species here in with all them bugs."

Seriously though:
"Can't we just jeneticallumly engineer...uhm...mice to do that"
Just gotta' say.. THAT rocked.
 
2004-12-23 08:43:15 AM
Monster cockroaches are also found in Japan.
 
2004-12-23 08:45:06 AM
How big are these monster cockroaches? Can they carry a useful load? Can we stick sensor packages on them? Video transmitters? The Japanese were experimenting with this years ago. Can they be used to deliver office supplies to your cubical? Why build tiny remote controlled vehicles when we cam just use a little epoxy and circuit boards to make Borg-Roaches?

/engineer
 
2004-12-23 08:51:47 AM
 
2004-12-23 08:59:33 AM


Get 'em!
 
2004-12-23 09:00:29 AM


Theo Huxtable's known about him for years.
 
2004-12-23 09:04:55 AM
"That must be some cockroach."

"Bite your head off, man"

 
2004-12-23 09:10:43 AM
I thought the second part of the headline was a joke until I RTFA.
 
2004-12-23 09:12:30 AM
I hate cockroaches. And I hate mosquitos.

Mice are cool, though, my homiez.

Rats are cool as pets, completely uncool as vermin.
 
2004-12-23 09:16:38 AM
 
2004-12-23 09:17:35 AM
A cockroach threatened by environmental degradation? Is such a thing possible?
 
2004-12-23 09:19:39 AM
Joe Rogan will make young unknown models eat them all.
 
2004-12-23 09:21:00 AM
Kill Kill Kill
Everybody do the Cockroach Stomp.
California, Tennessee, and Louisville,
Come on, do the Cockroach Stomp.
1 and 2 and 3 and 4,
Stomp your partner on the floor.
Squish squish. squish, squish, squish.
Find a bug,
Make a wish.

Kill Kill Kill
Everybody do the Cockroach Stomp.
You'll feel better, like I know you will.
Come on, do the Cockroach Stomp.
You can do it if you try.
You can even stomp a fly.
With a twinkle in our eye,
We make 'em die... die... die, die, die, die.


Kill Kill Kill
Everybody do the Cockroach Stomp
California, Tennessee, and Louisville.
Come on, do the Cockroach Stomp.
Cream your partner with your Florsheims.
Tromp that bugger three or four times.
Laughing gaily, how we dance.
They'd stomp us if they had a chance.
 
2004-12-23 09:32:11 AM
I moved to NYC for a week(Yes a week) after high school to a very very very very scary apartment. There were roaches everywhere. You couldn't turn out the light or they would take over. I saw the biggest roach in the whole world in the hall. It was as big as a freaking rat.


/Did you know that tasers won't kill them?
 
2004-12-23 09:33:25 AM
21-7-b
In that picture....looks like Pres. Bush is hiding one of those monster COCKroaches in his pants?

/embarrassed for self
 
2004-12-23 09:46:08 AM


Hey man, you think they got any of those monster roaches left?
 
2004-12-23 10:01:55 AM
I'm actually quite surprised that these things were not found in Manhattan. Of course, if you want to see roaches that could fall into the "monster" category, take a stroll past that lunch place on 26th and 6th....*shudder*
 
2004-12-23 10:03:11 AM
Someone please warn Paul Winfield! (oh wait, he's dead)

//obscure
 
2004-12-23 10:04:07 AM
Fried cockroaches are eaten in Thailand. My wife tried them, as well as fried scorpion. She said they both just tasted oily. Brave I, of course, sternly refused.
 
2004-12-23 10:06:42 AM
If you fatten cockroaches up by feeding them rice or other fibers, you can mash them up with salt and Tobasco Sauce for a fine snack.
 
2004-12-23 10:09:49 AM
2004-12-23 08:51:47 AM Mr. Clarence Butterworth
Natick Labs had Giant Mutant Radioactive Cockroaches years ago."

Were they ill-tempered?
 
2004-12-23 10:12:33 AM
I'm stupified. I hope they all get down with the sickness.
 
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